


Double-Dealing

by stardust_studio



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Abandonment, Anger, Aromantic Deceit Sanders, Aromantic Remus Sanders, Aromantic Virgil Sanders, BAMF Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, BAMF Deceit Sanders, BAMF Remus Sanders, Canon Rewrite, Characters watch the show, Daggers, Dark Family, Deceit is a good mom, Deceit is good at writing scripts, Descriptions of Pain, Fighting, From the dark sides' pov, Gen, How Do I Tag, I promise, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Logan just draws the wrong conclusions, Logan just wants his family to get along, Mentions of self-harm, Not Beta Read, Octopi & Squid, Pat just doesn't know how to do it, Pre-Canon, Queer-platonic relationships, Remus is good at planning, Remus remembers more but not everything, Remus typical stuff, Revenge, Roman doesn't remember much from before the split, Smart Remus, Snakes, So does Patton, Sort Of, Sort of bashes the light sides?, Spiders, Spoilers, Suicide mention, Swearing, Swords, Sympathetic Deceit Sanders, Unreliable Narrator, Very OOC, Virgil is good at acting, Vomit Mention, Whips, abuse of commas, also some of what remus says, aromantic dark sides, deceit's name is janus, doesnt actually happen, idk yet, is this unreliable narrator?, it might be, it's better than the tags and description, lying, mention of opioids, might become analoceitmus, morningstar mace, no actual abuse, not intentional self-harm tho, nothing kinky, remus is a potty-mouth, sorry Princey, steel net, tagging just in case, talks of abandonment, the dark sides are qpp's fight me, this is just not your fic, this might become analogical, unrequited prinxiety - Freeform, unsympathetic morality, violence warning is for chapter 8
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-02
Updated: 2020-09-11
Packaged: 2020-10-05 09:21:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 23
Words: 77,849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20486543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stardust_studio/pseuds/stardust_studio
Summary: What if Virgil never left the Dark Sides?What if this is all just part of their plan?What is their goal?To be accepted?To get revenge?Who are they angry at?What is their plan?All they want is to stop living in the shadows, so when Thomas starts making videos and decides to introduce the main three, Remus devises a plan to get them out of the shadows and into the light.To put it simply: Deceit is the best mom-friend, Remus is a force for chaos but really smart about it, and Virgil is snarky, sarcastic, and tired of Roman's bullshit. Roman's confused, Patton's clueless but trying, and Logan may know the plan but isn't supposed to. Thomas is a good person, but also very confused, everyone's slightly angry, and there will be a lot of angst.





	1. The Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> I headcanon that Deceit's name is Janus, after the two-headed Roman god of beginnings and endings.  
How do you pronounce Janus? Is it Jane-us, or Janice? I've heard it both ways. I pronounce it as Jane-us. 
> 
> Also, this first chappie is the longest chapter I have EVER written. 4.5 pages! Most of my chapters are 2.5 chapters!  
Anything Janus says is usually written as an opposite day type situation, a common trope at this point, unless it says otherwise.

Deceit just wants his family to be happy.

Each of them had been banished to the shadows for things they couldn’t control; mainly, who they were. All of them incite fear in Morality, the most powerful and oldest of them all. Deceit himself had been banished as soon as he had formed, shortly after the main three. Technically, that did make Remus older, but Deceit was the one who took care of the other “Dark Sides,” as Roman called them.

When Deceit was banished, he was terribly lonely. He was the only one in the shadows, where he made his home, and he was never taken care of like the others. It’s better to liken Deceit to a street rat: alone, determined to survive at all costs, and willing to take in other misfits. Thus, he acquired Paranoia.

When Paranoia had first appeared, he was nutured like the others had been, but not listened to and not taken seriously. His solution was to yell as loud as he could, and his voice had accidentally duplicated. The others feared him in that moment, and began to shun him. Seeing this, Deceit took the small fearling in, dubbing him Paranoia, as he had not had a Name prior to that.

Next came Remus. Creativity was, on that day, ignoring Morality, and suggesting increasingly horrible ideas. Deceit had been summoned to the main mindscape as soon as he felt how angry Morality was getting, and he brought Paranoia with him just in case something important happened. The last true anger that had been felt in the mindscape was shortly before Paranoia was kicked out. They watched, as Morality exploded (figuratively), as he raised both hands in the direction of Creativity, and _pulled_. They watched, as a Prince and a Duke became what had been Creativity, as Logic just watched it happen, and as the Duke was banished to the shadows with them.

Naturally, this meant that they were all together when they were choosing names. Duke had gone to visit his brother, as he was wont to do, and had overheard Morality excitedly telling Logic that they needed names, real human names. Hearing Logic agree and call Prince to chose his name as well, Duke brought the news back to the others. Searching, they chose their names.

Duke chose Remus, because he felt it fit and to make his brother mad with a name from the same mythology as Roman.

Paranoia chose Virgil, from “vigil,” meaning “to guard,” as he guarded Thomas from danger. It was also a name from Roman mythology.

Taking this idea, Deceit chose Janus, the two-faced Roman god of the beginning and the ending. He hoped that he would be able to end the banishments that he had been the first of, but knew that hope was only a lie told to himself.

At first, Janus was the pseudo-parent to the other two, despite sort of being the same age. Virgil often needed help calming down from panic attacks, his own and Thomas’. Remus, now Named Intrusive Thoughts, was too much of a chaotic entity to take care of himself or others. Janus cooked, and was quite good at it, not that the Sides needed to eat. Still, meals were a part of family bonding, so he made sure that everyone ate at least once a day. Over time, they all became closer and closer, closer than siblings but not dating. Queer-platonic partners was the best way to describe it. 

Although Virgil was wary of Remus at first, Remus promised to protect Virgil, and they became closer than Remus and Roman. Janus was their protector, though, at least until Virgil grew enough to also be Janus' protector. Anytime Creativity or Morality started attacking Paranoia or Intrusive Thoughts, Deceit was there to immediately shut them down. They told each other their names, but never the Others. Remus didn’t even tell Roman what his name was for the longest time, though they did agree to call true Creativity, before they were split, Romulus.

They weren’t the only “Dark Sides,” but they were the first three, and the closest, so they did everything together.

When Thomas was fifteen and just starting to rebel, so did the Shadow family, as they decided to call themselves (it was Remus’ idea). Knowing they could shapeshift, Remus suggested that they find an animal that fit them, and transform, staying partially or fully transformed all the time.

“What a terrible idea, Remus. I totally don’t love it,” Janus told him, practically bouncing in excitement.

“Sounds interesting,” Virgil mused, “How about we look up different animals for a few days so we don’t get stuck with one we don’t like?”

“Good idea, V! Wouldn’t want to get stuck as something _unpleasant_, would we?” Remus agreed, tone suggesting something different at unpleasant.

Taking Virgil’s suggestion, they took two days to research, sneaking into the library whenever Logic wasn’t there to look for the perfect animal for them. They took another week to perfect their transformations before showing them off to the others.

Janus went first, so excited that he didn’t even speak in opposites, “I chose a snake, no specific type, so I can keep my color options open.” He then transformed into a two-headed black snake about one meter long, then back into a humanoid form, but with scales on his face and on other places across his body. His eyes remained slit, and he cycled his scales and eyes through a variety of different colors, settling on yellow for now.

Remus went after, “I chose an octopus, eight arms, max destructive potential, and it can be used for _other things_.” He then transformed fully, shifted colors quickly, then back into humanoid form, with tentacles coming from the middle of his back along his spine. He then retracted all but one, and let that on wrap around his waist like a belt.

Virgil went last, “I chose a spider, because of how much fear they induce in people. Like you guys, I didn’t choose a specific species, allows for better sneaking and fear potential if I can be any spider.” Transforming into a Goliath birdeater, the biggest spider there is, then through a few other species of spider, he then returned to a humanoid form, leaving the legs from his back, like Remus did, as well as webs from his tailbone, not quite his butt, but just above it.

“Bravo, everyone!” Remus applauded, glad that people were actually listening to his ideas for once.

They also learned to alter their humanoid bodies as they pleased, and Janus loved having six arms at any given time, though he refused to explain why. Virgil enjoyed the extra limbs as well, but only when he had to fight, and Remus had _waaayy_ too much fun with having extra limbs.

After that, Janus and Remus stayed partially transformed almost all the time, and Virgil alternated between not, fully, and partially transformed, never able to decide which he liked best. Janus and Virgil often used their forms to spy on the others, hear what they were planning and see if they could take advantage of it in any way. After all, together, Deceit and Paranoia were Self-Preservation, and they had to keep Thomas safe, by any means necessary. Remus tried to be heard, to be part of the creative process, but he was blocked so much that the only way to get his message across was to repeat it until it got stuck in Thomas’ head and wouldn’t go away until it was at least considered.

They also all trained with weapons, at Remus’ behest. Given that Roman had a sword, Remus also wanted a weapon, and convinced the other two that it was a good idea to learn one just in case. Janus chose a whip, because of how close it was to his animal transformation. Virgil chose twin daggers, easily concealed and easily utilized.

They were not happy, but they were content, at least, and they had each other. However, they weren’t happy with how they kept getting pushed aside, and they longed to have the choice to live out of the shadows. It was just a hopeless longing, a quiet discontent, until Remus had another idea.

Thomas was older, twenty-seven, out of college and doing nothing with his degree. Instead, he chose to gain fame on YouTube and Vine, while performing on stage, something that Creativity loved and Logic despaired over. Honestly, Janus found the whole thing funny. Then, one day, Virgil comes back from his usual spying outing and called an urgent family meeting.

“Thomas is going to make a YouTube video with the other three,” Virgil spits when he says “the other three,” accidentally releasing some venom onto the carpet, still partially transformed. Janus gives him a disapproving Look, and Virgil shrugs sheepishly and cleans it up before continuing, “He’s planning on releasing it October 19th, so we have one week if we want to be in it. So, Remus, what’s the plan?”

“We won’t be able to be in this one, but, depending on the viewers’ reactions, there may be more with the others. If there are, we can get one of us in them. They can play the villain for a bit, while subtly reminding Thomas why they are necessary, until Thomas accepts them. Then, the rest of us can begin to show up, one by one, and can use the tracks that the first has paved for us,” Remus pauses for a second, considering, “J, you would need to be the second revealed, then the Others can say that you were the one hiding us from Thomas, and you can say that you were just protecting the others in the Shadow fam. I couldn’t be the first, my dear brother would never accept it, neither would Morality. That leaves you, V. You up to it? It won’t be easy.”

“It’s better that it’s me first, as I’m Paranoia, so I would naturally be cautious around the others, and less likely to get hurt if they decide to get violent,” Virgil reasons unhappily.

“You won’t have to keep your daggers on you at all times,” Janus says. In response, Virgil gives him a cynical stare. Being Paranoia, Virgil was always armed. Janus raises his hands, all six of them, in response, in a gesture that screams, “I’m just saying.”

“They won’t trust you if you go as Paranoia. What is it that the therapists call you now? Anxiety? That could work,” Remus muses, “The others would see it as you changing, becoming more like them, more boring, even though it may take some getting used to.”

“Nuh-uh, while I’m here, I’m still Paranoia. Only with the others will I be Anxiety. I won’t be anything that they try and make me,” Virgil says stubbornly, “I will still be me, I just have to tone down my input and put it in a different direction to make them believe it.”

“It’s best if you wait until the third video to pop up, V. It will give the audience enough time to get used to and love the other three before setting yourself up as a villain. After all, everyone loves the villain,” Remus says with a dark smirk.

“I totally don’t love this plan, Remus. I am not proud of you at all,” Janus says with a dark smile on his own face, made even creepier by the snakeskin.

“Well, what are we waiting for? We have work to do,” Virgil agrees, the three of them trading triumphant looks before beginning to work out the rest of the plan. After all, next week is the start of something big, and far be it from them to be left out.


	2. My True Identity!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Shadow family watch through Thomas' eyes as the first Sanders Sides episode plays out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone in the comments told me that Janus is pronounced like Uanus, bc Latin, so that's one question answered, thanks to Hg80. I will not be updating this everyday, this is just to establish how most of the story will play out until I catch up to canon.

Before they could fully plan how everything would go down, they had to watch as the first video was filmed, watch the other three interact, and see what they could exploit.  It was funny, as well, seeing the other three act so out of character from what the Shadow family knew them to be. 

**[Thomas]: Ah! YouTube time. Um… okay, you guys watch the title sequence and I will sleep in a couple more seconds. SNOOZE!**

***logo***

**[Thomas]: What is up, everyone! Man, those extra seconds really worked magic. So, being online as much as I am I tend to overshare everything about myself. You may know of my love of theater, my enthusiasm for cartoons, and of course… my passion for pizza! But even though I talk about these things a lot, I get questions from people all the time asking very in-depth, thought-provoking questions about myself that are actually really difficult for me to answer accurately. Do I really know myself as well as I should? On top of that I get messages from people who are also having trouble figuring themselves out. Personal identity is something I think everyone struggles with at one time or another. So, I figure, why not go on this adventure together? I need to have a sit-down with myself, figure myself out, and maybe come to a better understanding that we all could learn from! Let’s do this!**

**[???]: Hello there class!**

“I wasn’t expecting Logic to be the first one up, I thought it would be your brother, R,” Virgil remarks idly. Remus makes a noise of agreement, but then quiets to watch. 

**[Thomas]: There is no class here.**

**[???]: Yes, there is.**

**[Thomas]: Whatever.**

**This is my intellectual side. Every fact I’ve ever learned.**

**[Intellectual Side]: Believe it or not, I was quite the nerd in school.**

**[Thomas]: I’m pretty sure that’s a surprise to no one.**

It really isn’t.

**[???]: Greetings wonderful citizens and you nerds!**

All three of them sneer as Creativity rises up. Ever since the split, Roman had been a real dick to Remus, and Remus was mad that Roman was mean to Virgil every time they saw each other. 

**[Intellectual Side]: Hi.**

**[Thomas]: This is my fanciful side. All my dreams, my hopes, and my creativity.**

**[Fanciful Side]: Not to mention your love of Disney songs!**

**(singing) Do you want to build a snowman?**

**[Thomas]: Not right now.**

**[Intellectual Side]: Why that song?**

**[???]: What’s going on kiddos?**

Janus and Virgil actually hiss when Morality rises up. Of the main three, Morality is the most hated, because it was on his word that they were all banished. Surprisingly, Logic had tried to argue for them, but nothing could sway Morality from his path. Now, nothing would sway Remus, Virgil, and Janus from getting revenge. 

**[Thomas]: And finally, this is my moral side. My sense of right and wrong that I’ve learned ever since I was a kid from my own parental units.**

**[Moral Side]: I also represent your unabashed love of dad jokes.**

**[Intellectual Side]: Dad jokes.**

**[Fanciful Side]: Dad jokes.**

**[Moral Side]: Mm-hmm.**

**[Thomas]: Dad jokes.**

**[Moral Side]: Woah, is there four people in here or is it just me?**

**[Fanciful Side]: ...Ah, I got it.**

**[Intellectual Side]: -sigh-**

**[Thomas]: That was a thinker. I like it.**

**[Intellectual Side]: So, what are we all doing here?**

“I wouldn’t like to know that, as well,” Janus remarks, curious as to why these videos are happening now.

**[Thomas]: Well, people know me from all the Vines that I make, but I don’t think people really KNOW me know me.**

**[Fanciful Side]: Well maybe they would if you post YouTube videos more often…**

“Ok, that was a good one,” Remus laughs slightly, proud of his brother for drawing on insults, on the darker side of creativity. 

**[Intellectual Side]: Oooh...**

**[Moral Side]: Oh my, Whoop! There it is!**

**[Thomas]: Okay. All right that’s fair…**

**But I don’t even know if I know me. There’s some things that I think even I need to figure out about my own identity.**

**Like, okay, relationships.**

**[Fanciful Side]: Ah! Romance!**

“Ugh,” all three of them groaned at once. 

**[Thomas]: Yes, but where do I stand in those regards?**

**[Fanciful Side]: I have a pretty ideal vision of love… There is someone out there for me… One true love…**

**[Intellectual Side]: But you tend to overthink things, rule out possibilities with logic, dream up obstacles with each new connection you make,**

**[Thomas]: And that when the anxiety kicks in. Maybe that’s why I haven’t found a person for me yet.**

“They’re making this too easy for me. See, I’m already the bad guy,” Virgil points out. Remus nods in agreement, but Janus looks murderous, still not really okay with sending Virgil alone to face the other three.

**[Moral Side]: But that’s okay. The important thing to keep in mind is nobody’s perfect. Everyone comes with their own flaws.**

**[Thomas]: Including me.**

**[Fanciful Side]: Yes, someone will accept us flaws and all. Until that day I shall learn to love… Myself.**

**[Thomas]: Yes, that’s definitely important. Flaws and all. Speaking of which…**

“Hey, look, it isn’t us,” Janus hisses slightly, displeased at being considered a flaw by Morality and the others. 

**[Intellectual Side]: Um… Are we bringing up flaws now? Because if so,**

**[Thomas]: Oh, uh...**

**[Intellectual Side]: (continuing) get ready to take a lot of notes. Okay, ready? Here we go.**

**You procrastinate A LOT.**

**[Moral Side]: You can be a bit selfish with your food and your other belongings…**

**[Fanciful Side]: You’re definitely not the most adventurous person…**

**[Thomas]: Okay maybe this was a bad idea; I’m supposed to be learning to love myself.**

**[Intellectual Side]: Ah, but remember, everyone has flaws.**

**[Moral Side]: At the same time focus on your good attributes.**

**[Fanciful Side]: You value your relationships with your friends above all else!**

**[Moral Side]: You believe there’s good in everyone.**

**[Intellectual Side]: And when you set your sights on doing something, you put all of your energy into it to make it the best it possibly can BE.**

**[Thomas]: Well that’s very nice of you guys.**

**[Moral Side]: Well, it’s important to be nice to ourselves and cut ourselves some slack every once in a while…**

**[Fanciful Side]: Wouldn’t want to be our own villain would we?**

“That’s exactly what we will be, brother dear,” Remus tells the screen, even though he knows Roman can’t hear him. 

**[Thomas]: Okay, true. What else do I need to figure out?**

**[Intellectual Side]: Biggest fear?**

**[Moral Side]: Spiders…**

“Me! Looks like I chose my animal form well,” Virgil smiles in satisfaction, knowing he could scare Morality with a simple transformation, easy for him at this point. 

**[Fanciful Side]: REJECTION!**

**[Intellectual Side]: What exactly is at the bottom of the ocean?**

**[Thomas]: No, no! We are not talking about fears! I am well aware of those. I am talking about what I need to figure out about myself.**

**[Fanciful Side]: Well, what do you wish to look for in a relationship? What are you hoping to gain from having another person in your life?**

**[Thomas]: Um… I don’t know. Someone who’s a nice compliment to me, someone who wants a long stable relationship, someone who indulges in the same sense of humor, and um… someone who can binge watch cartoons with me.**

**[Intellectual Side]: With everything you’ve learned what do you wish to do with your education?**

**[Thomas]: Ooh… I am not sure… I’d love to figure out ways to help the environment. Science was always my strong point and I love chemistry.**

**[Moral Side]: What positive impacts do you inevitably hope to bring to this world?**

**[Thomas]: Wow, that was a surprisingly deep and poignant quest-**

**[Moral Side]: HEY! We have the same glasses!**

“He’s acting funky, like he’s only a dad character, not Morality. Morality is much more menacing than this,” Remus considers, “It may be more difficult to discredit him if he continues to act as goofy as he is.” 

**[Intellectual Side]: Yep.**

**[Thomas]: Okay. Well...**

**I think just being able to put silly light-hearted content into the world is kind of a good start. It makes me really to do that.**

**[Intellectual Side]: Well there you go. A good foundation.**

**[Thomas]: Yeah true, these are good things to be in touch with and I’m sure there are some of you out there who have other, very different, maybe even more difficult questions about yourself. Maybe about your gender, or your sexuality.**

**[Fanciful Side]: Yes, who may be your love, or do you want love at all?**

**[Intellectual Side]: What do you want your future to be or even what do you want to do tomorrow?**

**[Moral Side]: And where do babies come from?**

**[Fanciful Side]: You serious?**

**[Intellectual Side]: Wha? You’re a father.**

**[Moral Side]: I know it’s got something to do with storks, um, but after that, I, uh...**

**[Thomas]: Okay. Well only he’s confused about that, but yes, ** **figuring out your own identity can take a long time. You may know yourself at an early age, or you may be still figuring yourself out well into adulthood.**

**[Intellectual Side]: But there’s no time limit for these questions.**

**[Fanciful Side]: Getting to know yourself can be quite the awesome adventure and hopefully it’s an adventure that never ends.**

**[Moral Side]: And no matter what, no one knows you better than yourself. Am I right, Tony?**

**[Thomas]: Not my name.**

**[Moral Side]: Then what is it?**

**[Thomas]: Okay, that was a very enlightening experience, but I think that’s enough for one night. It’s a little weird to be talking to myself so much. Right, Sacagawea?**

**[Sacagawea]: I’m your pet hamster and I’m pretty sure this is even weirder.**

“Oh, boy, we have a lot of work to do,” Virgil moans and rubs his head. 

**[Thomas]: True. You’re right. You’re always right…**

**I hope you guys enjoyed this little journey into my identity. Say goodbye everyone!**

**[Intellectual Side]: Class dismissed!**

**[Fanciful Side]: *singing* Goodbye!**

**[Moral Side]: Let me know when this gets put up on the YouTubes.**

**[Thomas]: Will do.**

**And until next time, take it easy guys, gals, and non-binary pals. PEACE OUT!**

***end card***

**[Fanciful Side]: Say, you know what would be fun fellas? If we did one of those four-part harmony song videos like Jon Cozart or Todrick Hall!**

**[Intellectual Side]: Um, no. You know you would just end up embarrassing yourself.**

**[Thomas]: Well I don’t know about that-**

**[Moral Side]: Hey! I am down to do that sign me up. -laughs-**

**[Fanciful Side]: Yeah you know what, you’re right. You're right.**

**[Thomas]: On second thought it was a bad idea.**

**[Moral Side]: Yeah, okay. Well, you kiddos give your old dad a like and subscribe. That’s right! I’m learning how to do promos!**

**Got a couple more for you know- Old tricks up my sleeve… I’m learnin’ I’m learnin’... Whoo.**

**You know what that just tired me out. *giggle* I’m gonna take a nap. Take a nap for… about two hours. Take a nap.**

Ok, that was odd. 

“V, you’re gonna have to act aloof, like it wasn’t your idea to be in the videos, but confident, like you can’t be defeated. Then, when we pretend you are, you can chill for a few videos, then fire back even worse. Hopefully, by adding in a sense of conflict, we can improve the quality of the videos, God knows they need it,” Remus think out loud, “Janus, when you show up, you should be disguised as one of the main three, we’ll figure out who as we get closer. They’ll think of you like a Scooby-Doo type villain, and believe you harmless when unmasked.”

“Sounds like a terrible plan, Remus. What about when you come in?” Janus asks.

“When I come in, I’ll be a pure chaotic entity, utterly insane, incapable of thinking ahead, and I’ll imply that you were the one who sent me on up. But, that won’t be for a while. We need to get Thomas comfortable with Virgil first. Also, did you notice how none of them had names? I’m sure those will be revealed in later videos, and V can be the last to reveal his name. I can reveal mine in the first episode I’m in, implying that V is keeping secrets from Thomas, and you can imply that, too, Janus, but you may never reveal your name, I don’t know yet,” Remus drifts off into his own head, planning a lot of things.

“Alright, boys, it totally isn’t dinner time, so I won’t go get that started for us. Wash up, it won’t be ready in half an hour,” Janus says, getting up to cook like the mother hen he is. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed!


	3. WAY TOO ADULT

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am writing ch 8 rn, but I am open to suggestion for reactions for chapters that have not been posted yet, written or not. I may not use them, but if I do, I will give you validation.
> 
> Also, can you tell that I actually have a lot of inspiration for this story rn? I have 65 PAGES written so far, 14740 words, and every time I listen to Forbidden Fruit (Remus' song), I get another idea.

Even though they had a solid game plan by this point, they still sit down to watch as the next episode unfolds. 

**[Thomas]: Hi. My name is Thomas Sanders and yes, I have worn this shirt for the fifteen millionth time. LET’S MOVE ON!**

***logo***

**[Thomas]: WHAT IS UP, EVERYBODY?!**

**So, like many other people in America, I’m getting ready for that magnificent Thursday that comes around every year where we gather round the table with our family, avoid conversation pertaining to politics and my lack of significant other, and gorge ourselves on more food than we would ever naturally eat any other day of the year.**

**-gasp- That was one breath. Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is what I was referring to. I don’t know if any of you were confused.**

“Could also have been Christmas,” Remus notes. 

**[Thomas]: This year, however, will be just a bit different. I shall be the only one of the four brothers there. So naturally, my dad has asked me to help cook the meal. Here’s the thing though, I still don’t really know how to cook.**

**[Dad]: WHAT?!**

Sneers abound.

**[Dad]: Okay, I’ve had enough of this.**

**[Thomas]: Umm… My dad character. What are you doing here? I had you here last time to help represent my moral side.**

**[Dad]: Well then just think of me as your sense of morality really firing back at you with a vengeance today. Do you know how often you say you can’t cook? Lots of times. Do you know how often you try to learn to cook? Zero times.**

**[Thomas]: Not true. There was that one time a few months ago when… You’re right, it's already a bad sign that I have to go back that far.**

**[Dad]: Being able to cook yourself a meal is an essential part of living as an adult**

**[Thomas]: -short burst of music- GAH! Why you gotta say that word?**

Remus and Virgil laugh at Thomas’ fear of being an adult, Janus smiles slightly. 

**[Dad]: What? Adult? -another short bust of music-**

**[Thomas]: I had that music set up specifically for this.**

**[Dad]: Oh, come on!! I’m an adult! I’m a dad, it’s not that scary.**

“Music’s gone,” Remus notes the inconsistency, “Logic must not have been involved in the planning for this episode.”

**[Thomas]: Your face is scary.**

**[Dad]: You realize we…**

**[Thomas]: ...have the same face. Yeah, I messed up. This is not my day today.**

**[Dad]: Okay, let’s calm down. Why don’t we go through a list of what you can do yourself.**

**[Thomas]: Okay, yeah, sure. Umm...yeah I can manage that.**

**[Dad]: Can you change the oil in your car?**

**[Thomas]: I don’t think so.**

**[Dad]: Okay. Can you do taxes?**

**[Thomas]: Absolutely, I cannot.**

**[Dad]: can you handle disposing bugs, spiders, or other creatures you may find in your house?**

**[Thomas]: ...C’mon.**

Virgil suddenly bursts out laughing. The other two look at him questioningly, and he manages to gasp out, “Thomas would be scared of his own Paranoia!” This sets off Remus and Janus, who also find humor in the situation. 

**[Dad]: Yeah, that's a no.**

**[Thomas]: UGH THIS IS SO BAD. I am literally failing at the process of becoming an adult.**

**[Dad]: Which we all know is referred to as...adultery.**

Facepalms from everyone. 

**[Thomas]: No, no.**

**[Dad]: No??**

**[Thomas]: That is not a correct statement. No. No.**

**[Dad]: Hmm...I thought that was a thing.**

**[Thomas]: It’s a thing. It’s just a different thing. You know?**

**[Dad]: Oh, it is? Okay. well, so... -laugh-**

**[Thomas]: Like really though, how am I this bad at taking care of myself? I treat the stove in my kitchen like a friend that I’ve been neglecting.**

**-singing- My humps**

“That song could be taken as Thomas being a pervert, as it is a song about female breasts,” Virgil jumps to the worst possible conclusion, as that is his job. 

**[Stove]: Hey Thomas!**

**[Thomas]: Hey man!**

**[Stove]: How you’ve been?**

**[Thomas]: I’m doing well, thank you for asking. I’m doing very well.**

**[Stove]: Have any food to cook?**

**[Thomas]: Umm...Hmm...Nah.**

**[Stove]: Even just good old ramen or something?**

**[Thomas]: Ahh...Umm...You know, I’m not really feeling hungry at the moment so…**

**[Stove]: Ah… True, true. Yeah.**

**[Thomas]: Yes.**

**[Stove]: Who you calling?**

**[Thomas]: Oh, no one. Just you know...my mom. She asked me to call her. So...**

**[Stove]: Totally, sounds lit.**

**[Thomas]: -laughs- Yeah…**

**[Stove]: You know, unlike me...because I’m an unlit stove. Have been for some time now… -laughs-**

**[Thomas]: Okay, well I’m going to go.**

**[Stove]: Cool, cool. Uh… yeah, yeah, yeah.**

**[Thomas]: Um... Good seeing you again.**

**[Stove]: See you later. Yeah. Mm-hmm.**

**[Thomas]: Alright, um… Catch up with you later?**

**[Stove]: Yeah.**

**[Thomas]: Yeah.**

**[Stove]: See you later.**

**[Thomas]: Yeah, good seeing you.**

**[Stove]: See you later.**

**[Thomas]: -whispering- Yes, I’d like a large cheese, please.**

“Look, J, it’s you!” Remus crows.

**[Dad]: Yeah that’s pretty bad.**

**[Thomas]: I knowwww.**

**[Dad]: Well it’s all in baby steps, like everything you’ve learned in life.**

**[Thomas]: Like what?**

**[Dad]: Well, you wash your own laundry, don’t you?**

**[Thomas]: Yeah.**

**[Dad]: You’ve learned how to eat better and exercise.**

**[Thomas]: I still eat a ton of pizza, but yeah.**

**[Dad]: When dealing with other people, you know when to stand up for what’s right and when to turn the other cheek.**

**[Thomas]: I show them my butt!**

“My influence, that one is,” Remus comments. 

**[Dad]: Not what I meant. And you should probably stop showing people your… Well… one problem at a time. The point is… you didn’t always know to do those things, and they came about because you took the time to learn.**

**[Thomas]: Ahh, you’re right.**

**[Dad]: Learn from your parents, and hopefully they will also take the time to learn from you and what you know.**

**[Thomas]: How to turn on the computer so my mom can play Solitaire.**

**[Dad]: Right.**

**[Thomas]: I hope you all learn new ways of becoming independent. And becoming an adult shouldn’t mean losing the sense of who you are.**

**[Dad]: Of course not! You can still be a kid at heart, just learn about the world around you, as well as skills that will help you and others.**

**[Thomas]: And learning how to be an adult is not a race! So, no pressure in figuring it all out.**

**[Dad]: That’s right! But you, Thomas… You should learn how to cook.**

**[Thomas]: Got it.**

**[Dad]: And remember… you’re a real “pizza” work… Because you like pizza…**

**[Thomas]: Got it, yeah.**

**[Dad]: Ta- ta. I wish you the best of luck in your adultery.**

**[Thomas]: That’s not… Okay… Well! As I go and attempt to learn something new, I hope that you all have the opportunity to do the same.**

**And until next time, take it easy guys, gals, and non-binary pals! PEACE OUT!**

***end card***

**[Thomas]: Hey.**

**[Stove]: Uh, hey.**

**[Thomas]: So, I was thinking…**

**[Stove]: Yeah?**

**[Thomas]: Thanksgiving is coming up, and I wondered if maybe…**

**[Stove]: Yeah?**

**[Thomas]: We can rekindle our friendship?**

**[Stove]: Aww. Let’s start with you rekindling a fire on this stove buddy!**

**[Thomas]: You got it! -laughs-**

**[Stove]: That’s a...uh...plastic plate.**

**[Thomas]: Oh… um.**

**[Stove]: You know you can’t put that on me, right?**

**[Thomas]: Oh yeah, sure. Mm-hmm… I knew.**

**[Stove]: I’m scared.**

**[Thomas]: Me too.**

“Well, that doesn’t really change any of our plans, it seemed almost like it was just a filler episode,” Remus starts, “I have planted the idea in Roman’s head to use you, Virgil, as the villain in the next episode. Remember, you are going to be Anxiety, a weaker version of yourself. You have to allow yourself to be defeated by whatever tactics they try.”

“Right,” Virgil waves them off, but Janus can see the Virgil is steadily working himself up to a panic attack.

“What’s wrong, V?” Janus asks.

“Just don’t want to leave you, don’t want to pretend to hate you, even if it is just pretend. Don’t want to talk to the others, just wanna stay home,” he manages to get out, haltingly but coherently.

“We know you don’t hate us, V, and we will see each other at the end of each video so we can talk, plan, and just watch movies if we want to,” Janus forgoes speaking in opposites to calm Virgil down, as he usually does. 

“Yeah, V, I’ll still play with you after videos, and I won’t even go easy on you,” Remus says. 

“You, go easy on me? Please, it’s the other way around and you know it, tentacle brain,” Virgil smirks.

“You know the mace easily outclasses your puny knives, spiderass,” Remus retorts.

“Boys, boys, you’re both pretty. Now, don’t go play for a bit, then we won’t have lunch,” Janus directs. Virgil and Remus both give Janus a look, then run off to the training room, weapons already in hand, to go spar for a bit. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed!


	4. Taking on ANXIETY with Lilly Singh!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here comes the emo! But, how much of it is an act?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i updated the tags, but a lot of that won't come in until chapter 8 or so. all the weapons and fighting tags currently apply only to what i have written for chappie 8 with references to fighting, etc in other chapters

Remus and Janus settle in to watch as Anxiety makes his first appearance. For the most part, this was up to Virgil. Remus had given him a basic idea of what he should do, but Virgil was the best actor of the three, so Remus let him choose how, exactly, to handle the situation in his persona of Anxiety. 

**[Thomas]: Hey, I’m Thomas and I don’t give a *bleep*. I take them. I said fork, why was that bleeped?**

***logo***

**[Thomas]: What is up, everybody? So, I don’t know what it is right now, maybe it’s because it’s this time of year. Or maybe because I’m back home with friends, but strangely at this moment, I am actually feeling quite relaxed…**

**[???]: Hey.**

Virgil smirks, on the outside and inside, and preps himself to act like the emo Anxiety persona he has chosen. Really, Paranoia is more punk than emo, but Anxiety is more emo, and too shy to be properly punk. He also knew that he couldn’t show up in even partial transformation, but he did leave a few things, like his spinneret, which he could hide under his clothes. 

**[Thomas]: What the heck?!**

**[???]: Oh, I’m sorry, was I not wanted at this exact second?**

Smooth, suave, and aloof. Remus approved of the persona. Virgil really was a good actor. 

**[Thomas]: Oh, for crying out loud… Okay. Everyone, please welcome... my anxiety.**

**[Anxiety]: Sup.**

**[Thomas]: I don’t get it. I was just making a YouTube video. There is literally nothing to be anxious about.**

**[Anxiety]: Aren’t those the best times for me to show up?**

**[Thomas]: I even was saying how relaxed I was feeling.**

**[Anxiety]: Ah, but that’s when you start wondering why you do feel all relaxed. You don’t usually feel this way, so what are you doing different? What are you doing wrong? What are you forgetting to do?**

Virgil could have gone on, but Anxiety wasn’t Paranoia, so he couldn’t go too much farther, especially as Thomas says, 

**[Thomas]: Okay, stop it, stop it!**

**[Anxiety]: Sorry kid, but this is what I do.**

**[Thomas]: Okay, this is what frustrates me about anxiety. Sure, I get it when I’m nervous about doing something, or when I have to interact with a bunch of people socially, or when I have a big project due, but SOMETIMES it just shows up**

**[Anxiety]: Yo.**

**[Thomas]: out of NOWHERE, and ruins whatever peace I have. Like I’m kind of getting fed up with it. There has got to be some way out of it!**

**[Anxiety]: Oh boy, I would like to see you try. You can’t just quit me.**

**[Thomas]: Prince dude.**

Remus nods. As expected, Thomas summons Roman first, doesn’t even consider using Logic to get rid of Anxiety. 

**[Prince]: Hello! You summoned me.**

**[Thomas]: Hey. You represent my fanciful side, right?**

**[Prince]: Right.**

**[Thomas]: My hopes, my dreams, my creativity?**

**[Prince]: All that good stuff.**

**[Thomas]: Great, well right now I hope and dream to get rid of my anxiety.**

**[Prince]: Your what now?**

Right, Roman wouldn’t know Anxiety, probably doesn't even remember Paranoia, but he had heard about Anxiety from Remus, and decided that he would be a perfect bad guy, even though Roman had never met him and didn’t actually know what he looked like. 

**[Anxiety]: Hey Princey.**

It wouldn’t do to let Roman know that Anxiety spied on them, even though Paranoia did, so Anxiety doesn’t know anyone’s names. 

**[Prince]: Oh okay, I can’t stand that guy.**

**[Thomas]: Tell me about it.**

**[Prince]: Well getting rid of… that… is a tall order.**

**[Thomas]: What should I do?**

**[Prince]: Well this might be time for you to get creative, travel somewhere in your mind to bring in recruitment.**

**[Thomas]: True.**

**[Anxiety]: -laughs- You would need some super heavy-duty recruitment.**

**[Thomas]: -snaps-**

**[Anxiety]: Where are we? What?**

Of course, Anxiety and Paranoia would be unsettled by the sudden change in location, but Anxiety would just be startled, while Paranoia would immediately reach for his knives, as Virgil had to restrain himself from doing. Still, at least Roman was gone. 

**[Lilly]: It’s your girl, Superwoman.**

**[Thomas]: Lilly! Oh, my goodness it worked.**

**[Lilly]: What’s up, Thomas?**

**[Thomas]: Well, long story short, you ever have a conversation with someone, and you think it went well, but then there’s something in the back of your brain trying to convince you that it went horribly?**

**[Lilly]: All the time.**

**[Thomas]: There’s the something.**

**[Lilly]: Oh, so you’re the guy. Listen, dude! Once in a while can you let me just like order a pizza without being nervous about talking to the delivery guy?**

Virgil laughed internally, he wasn’t Lilly’s Anxiety, though Lilly did have a true Anxiety. Still, he also winced internally in annoyance; no one ever listened to his contributions without him screaming them. 

**[Thomas]: He won’t even let me go to bed without thinking about something I did seven years ago.**

**[Lilly]: Oh, so annoying. And you know what? You know all those times where they ask, "Does anyone have any questions?", and no one says anything? I actually had a question.**

**[Thomas]: ME TOO!**

**[Lilly]: AARGH!!**

**[Anxiety]: Look it’s my job. A little blood pumping is good for the old circulatory system.**

**[Lilly]: Okay, we’re not talking about a little, dude.**

**[Thomas]: Well, actually Lilly, that is why I brought myself here. To see if maybe you knew some ways that I could bring him down.**

**[Anxiety]: Psh. Yeah right.**

**[Lilly]: Well, destroying anxiety can be really tough, but bringing it down can be easy through a few different ways.**

**[Thomas]: What do you mean?**

**[Lilly]: It’s montage time.**

Here it comes, time to pretend to be easily calmed. Remus and Janus were very proud of how well-constructed the character of Anxiety was. Virgil was truly a gifted actor. 

**[Anxiety]: Gee, Lilly, I wonder what your friends are saying about you right now. What could they possibl-**

***Turn on a funny, light-hearted TV show.***

**[Anxiety]: This is actually a really good episode.**

***scene change***

**You’re reading a book right now?**

**When you’ve got all this other stuff to do?**

***make positive, calming observations.***

**[Lilly]: This book is so good. Honestly, it’s nice to just take a break and enjoy some reading. It’s a beautiful day.**

**[Anxiety]: Yeah, I- I but… I was saying if-**

**[Lilly]: Is someone making pasta right now? Oh, I love pasta.**

**[Anxiety]: I like pasta too, but I was sayin-**

**[Lilly]: Oh, look at that bird!**

**[Anxiety]: -groan-**

***scene change***

**Let’s go over all the things you did wrong today.**

***Use positive self-talk***

**[Lilly]: I did everything I could possibly have done today the best I could have done them.**

**[Anxiety]: Hmm, but-**

**[Lilly]: And you know what? I’m happy with everything I’ve accomplished. I did those things, and I did them well.**

**[Anxiety]: Okay, but uh… all the things you gotta do tomorrow…**

***Focus on right now.***

**[Lilly]: Well, there’s no need to worry about tomorrow because right now I’m doing exactly what I need to be doing, and that’s getting some rest.**

**[Anxiety]: -mocking- And that getting some rest. Come on.**

**[Thomas]: Wow. And those work?**

No, they don’t, not for Paranoia. 

**[Lilly]: I mean yeah, they definitely helped me, but everyone’s different, and anxiety can be a constant struggle.**

**[Anxiety]: That’s right.**

**[Lilly]: But there are ways of shutting it up ya nasty.**

**[Thomas]: Lilly, thank you.**

**[Lilly]: Of course. Dude, no sweat. Remember, everyone goes through this from time to time.**

**[Thomas]: Right.**

**[Lilly]: Right. But now you gotta go. Yeah, Dan and Phil are on their way. They’ve been having these nightmares they need help with…**

**[Thomas]: Oh, boy you are busy. Okay.**

**[Lilly]: Catch you later.**

**[Thomas]: Bye! -snaps-**

**[Lilly]: Dan, Phil. Talk to mama.**

**[Thomas]: -snaps- Well that was cool.**

**[Anxiety]: Whatever. That was Lilly. You don’t have what it takes.**

“Good, he’s setting himself up as a villain and goading Thomas into actually wanting to defeat him. However, he is also proving his existence by forcing Thomas to acknowledge that he is a problem. I didn’t know he knew that kind of subtle manipulation, I thought that was your area, J,” Remus rambles.

“It isn’t, but I didn’t gave him tips, as I didn’t hope they would help move this plan along faster. I don’t know how impatient we all are,” Janus replies.

**[Thomas]: Oh yeah?**

**[Anxiety]: Mm-hmm.**

***Take a deep breath.***

**[Anxiety]: Mm. Whoa!**

***Accept that you have anxiety.***

**[Thomas]: I have anxiety.**

**There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s something I can control.**

**[Anxiety]: N-no,**

As Paranoia, this isn’t really doing anything to him, but as Anxiety, this would actually weaken him enough to make him leave. Plus, step one was accomplished. Thomas acknowledged his “Anxiety,” and thus, the existence of one of the ones in the shadows. 

***Realize that it’s all in your head.***

**[Thomas]: You are thoughts I create, questions I ask, fears I have, nothing more.**

**[Anxiety]: HMMM.**

**[Thomas]: Byeee!**

**[Anxiety]: Fine. But I’ll be back.**

**[Thomas]: I mean sure, you will be, but I'll be ready.**

**[Anxiety]: Okay. Well- you- -groans-**

**[Thomas]: I did it.**

**[Prince]: Indeed.**

**[Thomas]: WHAT THE?!**

Virgil resisted the urge to pop back in at that. 

**[Prince]: Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!**

**[Thomas]: Oh my. Oh- okay- I forgot that… you were still here.**

**[Prince]: Well it looked like you had that all under control, so uh..**

**[Thomas]: Here’s hopin’ I do. And I hope those tips come in handy for you too.**

**[Prince]: You can conquer this beast.**

Remus sneered, seems like his brother needed a few more hits with a mace the next time they see each other. 

**[Thomas]: Thanks for helping me get creative.**

**[Prince]: (singing) You’re welcome!**

**[Thomas]: Nice. Moana. Ah! Here’s hoping for many peaceful chill moments to come for all of us. And until next time, take it easy guys, gals, and non-binary pals. PEACE OUT!**

***end card***

**[Anxiety]: He thinks he’s so great. Well, he is not! Look, I’m just trying to look out for him. Yeah, he was invited to a couple parties. If I wasn’t there to convince him not to go, who knows what bad things could have happened.**

**[Prince]: Yeah, he might have had to talk to some people, dance ridiculously, and have a fun night.**

**[Anxiety]: Yeah. Wait, what?**

**[Prince]: I don’t like you.**

**[Anxiety]: You’re just mad because I just came from a My Chemical Romance concert.**

With that, Virgil returns home, to the shadows, to see his family waiting for him. Before he could say anything, he feels a pull to the light, and quickly explains what’s going on to Remus and Janus, before showing up in the light kitchen, where Morality, Logic, and Creativity are waiting. Apparently, they debrief after every video, and decided that he needed to be included.

Hunching into his hoodie, Anxiety drawls, “Yes?”

“Hey, kiddo, we usually discuss every episode, and, since you were in this one, you should be here,” Morality literally bounces over, and Virgil had to resist the urge to sneer when Morality pulled his arm. 

“May we know your name?” Logic asks. 

“Name? It’s Anxiety, I thought you knew that. You called for me, after all,” Anxiety replies, confused.

“No, like my name is Logan, Morality is Patton, and Creativity is Roman,” Logic elaborates.

“I don’t have one, then. Goodness knows I was never allowed to be around you, and thus, never got sucked into your crazy ideas,” Anxiety sneered, though he showed a bit of hurt on his face for anyone looking, which Morality and Logic were. Creativity didn’t care. 

“Well, ok, Anxiety. Onto the discussion. It was the first Sanders Sides videos as a collab with another YouTuber, and I think it went well, but I was not in the video, so I am unsure as to how you think it went,” Logic starts.

“It went perfectly! The villain was defeated and Thomas learned how to do so again in the future,” Creativity declares.

“Anxiety? What’s your perspective?” Logic asks.

Looking surprised, Anxiety mumbles, “It was fine,” and then sinks out, back to the shadows. 

“That wasn’t a wonderful job, Virgil, they aren’t convinced at all,” Janus congratulates him. 

“Yeah, V, I knew you were a good actor, but that was amazing!” Remus adds.

“Thanks, I practiced a lot,” Paranoia says, shedding the facade of Anxiety and returning to a partial transformation with all eight legs protruding from his back, “What’s the plan for the next one?”

“The next one will likely be around New Year’s, so it will include New Year’s Resolutions, and Logic will most likely show up first, but all the others will as well. This will be a perfect time to establish how much Anxiety hates lies, foreshadowing Deceit showing up and the rocky relationship between Anxiety and Deceit,” Remus suggests. 

“Come, boys, it isn’t time for a movie night,” Janus swiftly moves the two away from planning. If Remus is right, then they have almost 2 weeks before they have to worry about the next video. Plenty of time to plan later. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed!


	5. A New Year of Lying to Myself... In Song!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time to imply the existence of a certain snakey boi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I currently am writing the Sanders Sides Q&A chappie, and, honestly, this story is so much fun to write! This is the first story that I've actually had fun writing for this long!

Time to imply that Anxiety dislikes a certain snakey trait. Remus and Janus were actually excited for this one. 

**[Thomas]: What's this? 2016 has evolved into 2017! Or devolved. . . We don't know yet. We're gonna find out together.**

***logo***

**[Thomas]: What is up, everybody?! Welp, another year has come and gone. So long, 2016! And you know, despite all the cruddy things that happened during this past year, I have to be thankful for all the things I was able to accomplish.**

**I got to hang out with the Teen Titans.**

***vine***

**[Greg Cipes]: (Beast Boy voice) Teen Titans?**

**[Thomas]: Hi. You guys live in a secret base?**

**[Greg Cipes]: Totally secret, bruh.**

**[Thomas]: Then why is it a building shaped like a gigantic T?**

**[Greg Cipes]: Didn't think about that. . .**

**[Thomas]: No, you didn't.**

***different vine***

**[Khary Payton]: (Cyborg voice) BOO YAHH!!!!**

**[Tara Strong]: (Raven voice) Azarath metrion ZINTHOS!**

**[Thomas]: So cool! So, Robin, what can you do?**

**[Scott Menville]: (Robin voice) I can say, TITANS GO!!! Yeah?**

**[Thomas]: Great . . .**

***back to video***

**I got really obsessed with Hamilton, and then I bothered some of the original cast.**

***vine***

**[Thomas]: Pardon me, are you Aaron Burr, sir?**

**[Leslie Odom Jr.]: That depends, who's asking?**

**[Thomas]: Okay, you don't have to be rude. I'm just a big fan. Sorry.**

***different vine***

**[Thomas]: Have you heard the Hamilton mixtape? Have you heard the Hamilton mixtape? Have you heard the new Hamilton mixtape?**

**[Anthony Ramos]: Dude, yes!**

***back to video***

**[Thomas]: I got to have fun with some of the Crystal Gems and Steven Universe.**

***vine***

**[Thomas]: Who ate my fries? Lapis?**

**[Jennifer Paz]: (Lapis voice) I don't like fries.**

**[Thomas]: Pearl?**

**[Deedee Magno]: (Pearl voice) I don't like food!**

**[Thomas]: Steven?**

**[Zach Callison]: (Steven voice) It was Amethyst!**

**[Michaela Dietz]: (Amethyst voice) Yeah, it was!**

**[Thomas]: UGHHHH!!!**

***back to video***

**I got to go to the Tonys, got to travel to different countries, I performed at VidCon, I went to Playlist and had a huge birthday surprise thrown for me on stage, I won a Streamy award, I collabed with soooo many of my YouTube heroes, AND I went on tour with my first original musical and met so many of you guys across 17 different cities in the U.S. and Canada! Whooooo! -Gasps for air-**

“Indeed, Thomas did a lot this year, and some of my suggestions were listened to without me having to repeat them. It is definitely a good time for this plan to start, as we are already being revealed slowly, this will just speed up the process,” Remus notes. Janus agrees before turning back to the screen. 

**[Thomas]: So, the question remains: What comes next?**

**[Logic]: Good question!**

“Called it,” Remus crows. Janus smacks him to shut him up. 

**[Thomas]: OOHkay, my logical side is back, everyone.**

**[Logic]: It's the beginning of the year, which means we...**

**[Both]: ...make New Year's resolutions.**

**[Logic]: Very good.**

**[Thomas]: Well, I was just thinking, like, goals to set this year for my videos.**

**[Logic]: Good videos come when we set a better lifestyle for ourselves, Thomas. Now--what are some steps we can take to achieve this?**

**[Thomas]: Ummmm...**

**[Morality]: Really? Can't think of one?**

**[Logic]: Now, w-wait a second, this is my turn! This is the video where I come to help!**

**[Morality]: Except I've already gone through this. Hey, Dad here. I represent Thomas' morality--**

**[Logic]: Oh, come on!**

**[Morality]: What about learning to cook? And all those other steps towards proper adultery?**

“See, my influence already, though that one was directed towards Roman,” Remus mutters. 

**[Thomas]: That's not the word. That-that doesn't mean becoming an adult.**

**[Morality]: Yeah. Well, whatever the word is, don't you think that's something to work towards this year?**

**[Logic]: Excuse me, but we were just working out what he needs to focus on this year, which in my opinion, is expanding your mind. Good content will only come to your viewers if you educate yourself.**

**[Thomas]: Yeah...**

**[Morality]: Well, that's all well and good, but how is he supposed to do that when he still needs to work on eating right and taking care of himself more?**

**[Thomas]: Yeah, I gotta do that too...**

**[Logic]: He can do that just fine! He's severely lacking in the knowledge department!**

“That, that was mean, Logic,” Virgil laughs. 

**[Thomas]: Well...**

**[Logic]: He's cooked in the kitchen plenty of times since you've talked to him.**

**[Morality]: Has he now? -laughs- Well, I might need to see some proof of that; should we dust the stove for prints?**

**[Princey]: Did someone say "prince"?**

**[Logic]: Noooooo!**

**[Morality]: Heyyyy!**

**[Thomas]: Wow, okay, so my fanciful side is here too now.**

**[Princey]: Thomas, as you know, I am your hopes and dreams, and you need to dedicate this year to doing all the things you've ever dreamed of! Travel more! Act more! Create more!**

**[Logic]: (yelling) But how can he do that without knowledge?**

**[Morality]: Or a healthy way of living?**

**[Princey]: I get what you two are saying, and I do care about that. But here's the thing: I don't really care about that.**

**[Logic]: OH, my goodness gracious--**

**[Morality]: The basic, essential things--**

**(Overlapping speech)**

“Here we go, horrible time for Anxiety to pop up,” Janus comments, signalling to Virgil that it is time to go. 

***Thomas trying to get his emotions to agree and be peaceful for once***

**[Anxiety]: So, isn't this nice.**

**[Thomas]: Oh, good, my anxiety, right on time.**

**[Princey]: What are you doing back here?**

**[Anxiety]: All these emotions and thoughts in complete turmoil? How could I not show up at this party?**

Let just a bit of Paranoia through, but act like Anxiety wants to calm them down, not knowing how to go about it. 

**[Logic]: Unbelievable. This was totally supposed to be my video.**

**[Anxiety]: Get over it. You're the least popular character, and you know it.**

“Ooooooo,” both Remus and Janus gasp. 

**[Thomas]: -clicks tongue- Ooooh...**

**[Morality]: -cough, repressed giggle-**

**[Princey]: Curse you for making me laugh.**

**[Anxiety]: This whole thing just amuses me, because you're gonna waste all this time picking out goals for the new year, what you need to start doing, or stop doing, and in a month, probably less, it's all gonna be for nothing. You're gonna stop trying and go right back to before. It's all meaningless.**

**[Thomas]: Nuh-uh!**

**[Anxiety]: Yuh-huh!**

**[Princey]: We've got this. He'll definitely stay true.**

**[Logic]: Well, looking at the facts, we have been pretty bad about sticking to goals in the past.**

**[Morality]: Can't lie about that.**

Internally, Virgil smirks, Morality set it up perfectly for him to begin denouncing lying, and pretend to hate Deceit. He hated doing this, but it was necessary for the plan. 

**[Anxiety]: See? You know it's true.**

**[Princey]: Ugh. I do not like you.**

**[Thomas]: Well, this year it could be different, right?**

**Right?**

**♫I'll cut out carbs to lose some weight.♫**

**[Logic]: That's a lie.**

**[Thomas]: ♫I won't go to bed so late.♫**

**[Morality]: LIE!**

**[Thomas]: ♫I won't be so shy to date.♫**

**[Logic]: Lie.**

**[Thomas]: ♫I won't do so much riffing.♫**

**[Princey]: (riffing) ♫Lieeeeeee.♫**

**[Thomas]: ♫I will go to the gym and get real strong.♫**

**[Morality]: Lie!**

**[Thomas]: ♫All my work I won't prolong.♫**

**[Logic]: Hah! Lie.**

**[Thomas]: ♫I'll stick to goals the whole year long.♫**

**[Morality]: Another lie!**

**[Thomas]: ♫I won't sing so many Disney songs.♫**

**[Princey]: You're kidding, right?**

**[Anxiety]: ♫Let's face the facts and come to terms it's time to realize.♫**

**♫These goals are only merely hope we quickly leave behind.♫**

**♫They're lies, lies, lies, lies, lieeeeees!♫**

“V is a really good singer,” Remus notes with surprise. 

**[Anxiety]: Give it up. Resolutions are nothing more than empty promises to yourself.**

**Shouldn't even try.**

**[Thomas]: Okay, maybe thinking big like that is not the way to go, but resolutions don't have to be big. They can be reasonable.**

**♫I could cook a meal or four.♫**

**[Morality]: True...**

**[Thomas]: ♫Keep my clothes neater in my drawer.♫**

**[Princey]: True.**

**[Thomas]: ♫Improve my credit score.♫**

**[Logic]: So true.**

**[Thomas]: ♫Tell my loved ones that I love them more.♫**

**[Morality]: That's cute!**

**[Thomas]: ♫There's a book I've meant to read...♫**

**[Logic]: True.**

**[Thomas]: ♫Do my best to do good deeds.♫**

**[Morality]: -gasp- True!**

**[Thomas]: ♫Take the time for me I need.♫**

**[Princey]: Too true!**

**[Thomas]: ♫Follow less and take a lead!♫**

Now it was time to play the villain. All of these were reasonable goals, but Anxiety wouldn’t just give up now, he’d continue to press, and so Virgil did. 

**[Anxiety]: ♫Don't kid yourself,♫**

**♫you know your year can't be that sublime.♫**

**[Thomas]: ♫You may be right, but I'll prove you wrong. We'll both find out in time♫**

**♫If they're lies lies lies lies lieeeeeeeees.♫**

**[Logic ,Morality,& Princey]: (harmonizing) ♫Ooooo♫**

**[Thomas]: ♫They could be lies lies lies lies lieeeeeeeeees.♫**

**[Logic ,Morality,& Princey]: (harmonizing) ♫Ooooo♫**

**[Thomas]: ♫I won't let them be lies lies lies lies lieeeeeeeeeees.♫**

**[Logic ,Morality,& Princey]: (harmonizing) ♫Ooooo♫**

**[Thomas]: ♫I'm doing fine.♫**

They were all agreeing, and it was time for Anxiety to retreat. Anxiety had been defeated, but this was just part of Paranoia's plan. 

**[Anxiety]: You sicken me. You can't always rely on a catchy tune to solve your problems.**

***Tune continues lightly in background***

**[Princey]: I disagree.**

**[Thomas]: So long, Anxiety.**

**[Anxiety]: Ugh, it's gonna be stuck in my head all day.**

**[Thomas]: So, the bottom line here is to start with little things to work on**

**[Logic]: And then go from there.**

**[Morality]: No pressure either way.**

**[Princey]: Even a little progress is progress.**

**[Thomas]: This I can work with. Thank you-**

**[Logic]: Ah!**

***background music abruptly stops***

**[Logic]: Wait- okay, you get out-**

“Damn, I didn’t think Logic would be that petty,” Remus is again surprised.

“Apparently, he isn’t,” Janus agreed. 

**[Princey]: -surprised noise-**

**[Logic]: (quickly) Yep- no-n-n-nope. Just get out- all right- great- sink down- perfect- sink down- there you go- right-**

**[Princey]: Oh, oh... well alright... I guess...**

**[Logic]: Alright, now you-- fantastic-- go ahead...**

**[Morality]: Me too? Well, I was gonna-**

**[Logic]: Oh, no, no, no- no witty quip, no dad joke, just sink down.**

**[Morality]: I was gonna-**

**[Logic]: Sink- perfect- sink d- perfect.**

**[Morality]: (confused) Uh- wh- yes**

**[Logic]: Alright, great. (To Thomas) Okay- continue.**

**[Thomas]: Thank you?**

**[Logic]: You're WELCOME! See, this was MY video, I helped, just me, no one else.**

**[Thomas]: Alright, well now that THAT'S all settled, I hope all of you figure out some nice, achievable goals to work on for this year. And until next time, take it easy guys, gals, and non-binary pals. PEACE OUT-**

**[Morality]: Hey! My New Year's resolution is 1080p!**

**[Logic]: Doh, COME ON!**

***end screen***

**[Thomas]: Big thank you to my friend Chris for helping to create that little ditty, he's an absolute musical magic man, and all his information is down in the description below. And THANK you, to all of you guys for making this past year so utterly AMAZING! And here's to an awesome new year.**

**[Princey]: Hey Anxiety, if you had to have a New Year’s resolution, what would it be?**

**[Anxiety]: -tongue clicks- Probably to find darker eye shadow to better match my soul.**

**[Princey]: YOU are an EMO NIGHTMARE.**

That’s what he was going for, thanks, Creativity. 

**[Anxiety]: -tongue clicks- Thank you.**

Success! They were no longer scared of Anxiety, nor even a bit wary of him if Creativity was insulting him. 

This time, Virgil doesn’t even bother going home, knowing that the others would want another debrief, and he pops into the kitchen right behind Creativity, making the Prince whirl around and pull his sword on the emo. Paranoia has to resist the urge to pull out his knives. 

“Hey, kiddo! You here for the debrief?” Morality is far too cheerful, too light for Paranoia. 

“Yeah, sure,” Anxiety mumbles, hands in his hoodie. 

“To begin, I think we all do have one question we want answered. Anxiety, why were you so adamant that New Year’s resolutions were just lies? And why did you believe that those lies were bad?” Logic asks, cutting straight to the chase, asking all the questions that Virgil wants him to. 

“You know exactly who I didn’t want showing up, Logic,” Anxiety snaps, surprising the others, “Does Thomas even know the others exist yet, or is it just us that he knows about? Because I was under the impression that you all didn’t want the others showing up just yet, if at all, and I was trying to keep a certain someone from popping up in the middle of a video about lying!” He isn’t shouting at the end, but it is as close to it as Anxiety will get when he isn’t trying to get Thomas’ attention. 

Looking thoughtful, Logic replies, “Good point, Anxiety, I had not considered that. At this juncture, I do not believe that we want the others showing up, as it will not help Thomas yet, but I am under no illusion that we can keep them away forever.”

At that last, Morality protests, “But they’ve stayed away this long, why would they come back?”

“I do not know, but it is a possibility we ought to be prepared for. Thank you for seeing this from an angle I had not considered, Anxiety,” Logic answers, actually shocking Virgil. While Logic had never seemed to hate the Shadows, he had been passive about their banishment. 

The discussion continued on for a few minutes more before Anxiety sinks out, trusting Janus to keep an eye on the conversation. 

Arriving home, Virgil turned to see Remus grinning, “That went perfectly, dear! They think you don’t like us now! They’ll never suspect you when time comes!”

“Glad you enjoyed my performance, Re. Anything I could work on?” Virgil replies, seeing if Remus saw anything from an outside perspective. 

“Nothing right now, but if I’m reading the ideas right, the next video will just be you and Creativity discussing Disney movies. Ensure that you seem less belligerent in that, at least at the end. Don’t deny any of his points, but don’t tell him that he’s not wrong until the end, we want to force him to be nice to you to save face,” Remus plans. Because Remus is also Creativity, he can ‘read’ and ideas that Roman comes up with, even if they won’t be used. 

“Creativity totally isn’t pissed at Anxiety, and the others aren’t mad at Logic for his pettiness this episode,” Janus reports as he pops in. 

“Perfect, fracturing their unity can only help us, even if they are the ones doing it to themselves,” Virgil says with a smirk, “Hey, should I hint that I might be in love with your brother? The look on his face would be hilarious.”

“Wha- no, well, that could be funny, actually. Just be subtle, if you do. Let the fans pick up on it, but not Thomas or anyone else,” Remus reconsiders, “Oh, this WILL be fun!” literally rubbing his hands together like a true plotting villain. 

“C’mon, I don’t have ice cream to celebrate,” Janus successfully distracts them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed!
> 
> Feel free to ask questions! I won't spoil the story, but maybe I missed something that I should have tagged or missed a plothole by accident! Maybe you'll give me even more ideas! Who knows? Not me!


	6. The Dark Side of Disney!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do have a tumblr! I do not post much og content, but I reblog a lot of interesting content!  
https://www.tumblr.com/blog/dragonangel-funandfire

Settling in, Janus and Remus eagerly await the next video. It will be fun to watch Virgil school Creativity on Disney. 

**[Thomas]: And now… our Feature Presentation! I've always wanted to do that.**

***logo***

**[Thomas]: WHAT IS UP, EVERYBODY! Okay, things you probably don't know about me:**

**I have a big freckle right behind my ear.**

**I despise carrots.**

**AND I can't go to sleep without making sure my closet door is closed for fear of shadow demons and/or the Demogorgon coming in and attacking me while I slumber, the usual stuff.**

**BUT, one of the things you most likely do know about me is that I love me some good ol' fashioned Disney.**

**[Prince]: Did someone say Prince?**

“No,” Remus whisper-shouts, actually throwing popcorn at the screen they are watching through. 

**[Thomas]: N-no. And dude, you gotta stop interrupting my vlog. This is like the third one in a row you've popped up in!**

“Tell him, Thomas!” Remus cheers. Janus gets the duct tape ready. 

**[Prince]: Thomas, I'm the Prince, okay? You decided to talk about Disney, how am I not gonna show up?**

**[Thomas]: Well, I was bringing it up because I wanted to talk about the many messages Disney movies provide.**

**[Prince]: That sounds SUPER!**

**[Thomas]: I know! It does. Now--**

**[Prince]: ...califragilisticexpialidocious.**

**[Thomas]: Yes. So--**

**[Prince]: Even though the sound of it is something quite atrocious.**

“That’s my cue,” Virgil says, standing up and disappearing. 

**[Thomas]: STOP.**

**[Anxiety]: Did someone say 'atrocious'?**

**[Prince]: Are you kidding me? We have expelled you from the last TWO videos! Do you know how rude it is to interrupt a vlog?**

“Hypocrite,” Remus snorts, and Janus agrees, so no duct tape is used… yet. 

**[Thomas]: Wh-- Okay. Well, Anxiety, I gotta admit, I don't know why you are here.**

**[Anxiety]: Simple. I, too, am a Disney fan.**

**[Prince]: PFFFFFT -laughs- You? -laughing-**

**[Anxiety]: What? Why is that so hard to believe?**

**[Prince]: Disney movies are the embodiment of goodness and purity, something you would know nothing about! -laughs-**

**[Anxiety]: You must not be watching the same movies then, 'cause the movies I know have much more sinister undertones. Come on, Thomas, you must sense it. I'm just making sure you're alert to all of the messages in those films, whether they were intentional or not.**

“Oooo, he’s totally pulling from our movie nights! I want to see whose comments get voiced in this episode,” Remus realizes, inadvertently proposing a competition. 

**[Thomas]: Actually, this is kind of intriguing.**

**[Prince]: What?**

**[Thomas]: So you think every movie has a darker meaning or a misleading message?**

**[Anxiety]: Oh yeah.**

**[Prince]: THIS IS RIDICULOUS! You besmirch the name of Disney? This time, you have gone too far!**

**[Anxiety]: Really? This is where you cross the line?**

**[Thomas]: Well, how 'bout this? I will throw out some Disney movies and you two tell me what I'm supposed to learn from each movie.**

**[Prince]: Practically perfect in every way.**

**[Anxiety]: Why are you only quoting Mary Poppins?**

**[Prince]: BECAUSE JULIE ANDREWS IS A BEAUTIFUL GODDESS AND BECAUSE I CAN, OKAY?**

**[Thomas]: O-kay...**

**Uh, Movie #1, Cinderella.**

**[Prince]: Ha! Easy. Believe in your dreams and one day, they will come true.**

**[Anxiety]: Sure, just literally wait around your entire life, subjecting yourself to the cruelty of your ungrateful, ignorant family members, until some magical fairy comes along to save you.**

**Don't take action yourself.**

“That wasn’t mine,” Janus claims, and Remus, pouting, gives Janus a point on the whiteboard he conjured up. 

**[Prince]: She had mice, too!**

**[Anxiety]: Not to mention, men can't memorize the face of a woman they've been dancing around with for hours, they have to rely on the shoe.**

**Ergo... men are idiots.**

“Mine!” Remus claims, giving himself a point. 

**[Prince]: HE WAS A VERY BUSY PRINCE! HE HAD A LOT ON HIS MIND!**

**[Thomas]: Okay, let's just move to another. Um, Snow White!**

**[Prince]: Okay, so this time the message is to NOT do what the princess did.**

**Don't accept random fruit from strangers.**

**[Thomas]: Or, don't eat fruit...?**

**[Prince]: No.**

**[Thomas]: No?**

**[Anxiety]: The bigger message is to just run away from your problems and become the housekeeper for seven men.**

“That was Virgey’s,” Remus mutters, putting a point up. 

**[Prince]: Sometimes the best solution is to get out of a bad situation!**

**[Thomas]: Yeah, I'm a Hufflepuff, I tend to run away from every situation. -laughs-**

**[Anxiety]: Don't make all Hufflepuffs out to be like that, Thomas.**

Show the audience that Anxiety is looking out for Thomas, in a small way, like ensuring he doesn’t offend his audience, gather some sympathy. 

**[Anxiety]: Not to mention, a prince comes out of nowhere and plants a kiss on a seemingly sleeping girl? I guess consent isn't really that important.**

“That was also Virgey’s. He had a lot of issues over consent in the movies, didn’t he?” Remus muses, giving Virgil another point. 

**[Prince]: HE THOUGHT SHE WAS DEAD, IT WAS A FAREWELL KISS! What's with all the prince hate?**

**[Anxiety]: I wonder.**

“Pulling from all of us there, but thanks for showing a bit of me, there, V,” Remus whispers to Virgil quietly, so he doesn’t distract him. 

**[Thomas]: Okay, well, how about something a little bit more recent: Frozen.**

**[Prince]: A sister's love triumphs over all!**

**[Anxiety]: And don't trust random princes. I can get behind that.**

Getting to annoy Princey is just a bonus at this point, but Virgil knows it is also getting him brownie points from Remus, not that he needs it. 

“A point for all of us, again,” Remus gives them out. 

**[Prince]: I swear...**

**[Anxiety]: Also, when Elsa passes away, Olaf's gonna die too, 'cause the magic will be gone. So just prolong the inevitable?**

“That was mine, too!” Remus twirls, giving himself a point. 

**[Prince]: WHOA WHOA WHOA**

**[Thomas]: WOW.**

**[Anxiety]: I warned you, I warned you.**

**[Thomas]: Wow, that is really dark!**

**[Prince]: WHOA WHOA WHOA!**

**[Thomas]: Okay, let's lighten it back up with Peter Pan?**

**[Prince]: Don't let your childhood spirit ever die.**

**[Anxiety]: Also, it's totally fine to believe a random stranger when they tell you to jump out the window after they've broken into your house. But I would guess that's how your whole being would die.**

“That wasn’t mine,” Janus claims. 

“Really, I thought that was Virgil’s,” Remus asks.

“It wasn’t mine, though we didn’t have the thought at almost the same time,” Janus clarifies. Remus gives both Virgil and Janus a point. 

**[Prince]: Urgh...**

**[Thomas]: Yikes. Okay, how about Aladdin? My favorite!**

**[Prince]: The value of a person is not determined by wealth. A diamond in the rough can be found anywhere, even someone who may be considered a street rat.**

**[Anxiety]: And they can get what they want by lying and deceiving their way right into the castle and getting the princess.**

Showing some more hate at Deceit, weaving that in there. Also, Janus got that point as well. 

**[Prince]: OH COME ON! He came clean in the end! He even freed the Genie!**

**[Anxiety]: Yeah, he did. But not before LYING AND DECEIVING his way right into the castle and getting the princess.**

**[Prince]: OH FOR CRYING OUT LOUD**

**[Thomas]: Fox and the Hound.**

**[Prince]: True friendship overcomes any boundaries set by society.**

**[Anxiety]: But then that friendship will be immediately be terminated by that society, and the two must learn their place in the world.**

“That wasn’t Virgil’s, societal roles aren’t his department,” Janus notes, snatching the marker from Remus, who was doodling dicks in his point section. 

**[Prince]: Wow.**

**[Anxiety]: That is literally what happened at the end of that movie.**

**[Thomas]: It's true, I cried. Beauty and the Beast!**

**[Prince]: Okay, I know what you're gonna say, you're gonna say--**

**[Anxiety]: Stockholm Syndrome.**

**[Prince]: --Stockholm Syndrome, BUT, it is MORE than just a prisoner falling in love with her kidnapper! It is about a love that transcends outward appearance. Even a beastly, hairy, ANIMAL-- you're right, that doesn't sound much better. But COME ON, can you really look down so harshly on these movies?**

“Stockholm Syndrome was Virgil’s, but the bestiality was all mine,” Remus says, prompting an argument on whether or not it counts if Roman says it. It does, and Remus also gets a point. 

**[Anxiety]: I still like them, there's just some darker messages that we don't first see.**

**[Prince]: Bambi?**

**[Anxiety]: Man is dangerous.**

“Virgil’s,” they both say. 

**[Prince]: Pocahontas!**

**[Anxiety]: WHITE man is dangerous.**

“Mine,” Remus claims. 

**[Prince]: SLEEPING BEAUTY!**

**[Anxiety]: Well, now we're back to the lack of consent with sleeping women.**

“Virgil’s again, but does it count if the point is raised more than once?” Remus asks, and Janus puts a point down. 

**[Prince]: IT WAS TO LIFT A CURSE!**

**[Thomas]: The Little Mermaid?**

**[Anxiety]: Don't just sign a contract without having your mer-lawyer look over all the fine print and stipulations. That one's just common sense.**

“Not mine,” Janus says, putting down a point. 

**[Prince]: Or learn to write, or use sign language. There's more than one way to tell the prince you're the girl that saved him.**

**[Thomas]: Oh, now wait, did I just detect a hint of sarcasm towards a Disney movie?**

“Whoa,” both of them are in shock. 

**[Anxiety]: Whoa.**

**[Prince]: Well, there's always been one or two things I've noticed. Frankly, just make it easier for the princes. We could use a helping hand every once and awhile.**

**[Anxiety]: Or shoes.**

**[Prince]: Or shoes, yes.**

**[Thomas]: Well then, how about we just concede that Disney movies have a LOT of different, interesting messages within them.**

**[Anxiety]: Duh, that's what I've been saying. I never said Princey was wrong.**

There it is, be sympathetic, set Princey up for a fall as seeming like a bigger jerk than Anxiety. 

**[Prince]: You didn't?**

**[Anxiety]: No.**

**[Prince]: Well, then I suppose I shall concede a few points to you.**

**[Anxiety]: Great.**

**[Prince]: Excellent.**

**[Anxiety]: Cool.**

**[Prince]: Still don't like you.**

**[Anxiety]: What was that?**

**[Prince]: Uhh... Chim-Chim-Cheroo!**

**[Anxiety]: Ah, Mary Poppins. Okay.**

**[Thomas]: Okay... oof. Well, my personality is very weird, I'm very sorry about that. BUT! I hope that you did enjoy that little Disney debate. Maybe you all can think of some interesting messages from other Disney movies we didn't cover. If you do, please feel free to share them. And until next time, Take it easy, guys, gals, and non-binary pals! PEACE OUT!**

***end card***

**[Prince]: Okay, uh, how about Mulan?**

**[Anxiety]: There's never a wrong time to dress in drag.**

“Mine!” Remus twirls again. 

**[Prince]: Lion King!**

**[Anxiety]: There's never a wrong time to dress in drag--**

**[Both]: --and do the hula! OOOOOOOOOOO--**

“So, whose point was that?” Janus asks.

“I think mine and Virgil’s, as I didn’t think of the hula thing,” Remus replies after a second of thought. 

Virgil again goes to the debrief, though he isn’t sure if there would be one, given the video was just him and Creativity. There is one, Logic is annoyingly thorough. 

“All in all, I thought that was a successful video, despite its short duration,” Logic begins.

“Yeah, it was really fun to watch you guys debate! You did great!” Morality bounces. 

“Thank you, Logan, I thought I did wonderfully as well, despite the emo bringing down the mood,” Creativity adds, earning himself a glare from Anxiety.

“Yeah, I guess it was fun,” Anxiety mumbles before sinking out. He’s stayed longer than he should have. 

“Who won?” Virgil asks as he returns home.

“Janus has 6, I have 8, you have 10,” Remus totals, prompting Virgil to cheer. 

“What do I win?” Virgil asks.

“Dishes duty,” Remus and Janus say in unison.

“Oh, c’mon! That’s not fair!” The argument continues on until the end of dinner, when Virgil does the dishes. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed!


	7. I'M IN A DISNEY SHOW!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BTW, I'm updating tags as I write the chappies, not as I upload them. There are tags up there for chapter 8 or 14, etc.

This isn’t going to be a huge Anxiety video, but it was good that he would be in it, to pander to the audience and to get Thomas familiar with him. 

**[Thomas]: (laughing) Oh... McGonagall y- Hi! Uhh... It's not what it looks like. Heh… I only do this all the time- What?**

***logo***

**[Thomas]: What is up, everybody! So, plenty of things have happened recently that have had me asking "Is this my real life?"**

**I got to sing "What You Own" from RENT with Adam Pascal,**

**I fully disguised myself as an old man for a Comic-Con convention,**

**I tried squid...**

**Gotta stop ending on the boring one. But now I'm about to add to that list because you guys… I got to be in a Disney Channel show!**

**[Prince]: WHAT?!**

**[Thomas]: (surprised) Okay...**

Anxiety is so in tune with Creativity that they both knew what the other was doing at any given point. Of course, Roman only knew what Virgil wanted him to know, but it’s better not to let him know that. 

**[Anxiety]: You were there... Princey. We're both factors of his personality.**

**[Dad]: Anxiety, leave him alone he gets excited. It's okay to express your feelings.**

**[Prince]: -squeals-**

**[Thomas]: I don't know why you are all here.**

**[Prince]: Well you know why I'm here I love Disney.**

**[Anxiety]: So do I but I'm not like that.**

**[Dad]: I just want to support you in everything you do.**

**[Thomas]: Aww...**

**[Dad]: Plus, I saw you had some leftover pizza?**

**[Thomas]: Ye-Yeah, help yourself.**

**[Dad]: If you insist!**

**[Thomas]: Okay, so this all started last year.**

**[Teacher]: Wait! How are you going to title this video?**

**[Thomas]: I'm... not thinking about that right now.**

**[Teacher]: Okay so you're telling a story. So, its gotta have the word "STORYTIME" in all caps followed by some big statement of intrigue.**

**[Thomas]: No... I'm not gonna-**

**[Teacher]: Why not?**

**[Prince]: You're the "Storytime" guy.**

**[Thomas]: I'm not gonna do that.**

**[Anxiety]: You make wrong choices.**

“Nice, jumping on the bandwagon, shows Anxiety’s style,” Remus remarks thoughtfully, before going on a rant about the destructive capabilities of wagons. Janus gets the duct tape ready again. It would be worth the kinky jokes later. 

**[Thomas]: Wow... Wow... It’s just- it’s not my style... I...**

**[Teacher]: Clickbait works Thomas! You put "Storytime" and then something like...**

**[Prince]: I KEPT DISNEY CHANNEL STARS FROM STARVING???**

**[Thomas]: I gave someone on the set a sandwich.**

**[Teacher]: I ALMOST DIED ON A DISNEY CHANNEL SET???**

**[Thomas]: Completely untrue.**

**[Anxiety]: THE DARK SIDE OF DISNEY!!!**

**[Thomas]: That was the title of a video from a couple weeks ago!**

**[Dad]: -muffled screams-**

**[Thomas]: Would everyone just STOP!**

**[Dad]: Sorry, I was saying this is really good pizza.**

**[Thomas]: I don't care. Okay, I'll do something like that. I'll make the title appealing, you guys happy?**

“This video totally isn’t a train wreck,” Janus observes, seeing how hyper the others are acting, and how Anxiety is mostly just hanging around in the background. 

**[Teacher]: (whispering) Alright, okay, alright, okay.**

**[Thomas]: Alright we're starting the story now so buckle up.**

**[Prince]: Do it. Please. Just one?**

**[Thomas]: -growls- STORYTIME!**

**[Prince]: YES!**

**[Dad]: THANK YOU!**

**[Thomas]: Okay, so it was last year, and we were prepping for the Ultimate Storytime tour which was less than two weeks away and I was already stressed out of my mind because you know, we had to learn the songs, I was writing and rewriting the script, we were blocking the show, recording the songs, and because we were going to be on a bus for the next month, I was triple timing the amount of short vids I was making each day in order to bulk up.**

**[Anxiety]: I was working overtime.**

**[Thomas]: Yes. So, in the middle of all this, Disney reached out asking if I would be interested in being a guest on this show "Bizaardvark". It's this cool show about two girls, Paige and Frankie, trying to make it big in the social media world.**

**[Dad]: Which is kind of a coincidence because Thomas also-- I just realized it's not a coincidence. I'll stop talking.**

“Yes, that would be preferable,” Remus drawls, somehow conveying his hatred through his indifference. It is a feat only Remus can manage. 

**[Thomas]: Cool. So, I grew up with Disney Channel shows. So many of them helped shape the views that I have today. Umm...I think every generation has inside jokes based around the humor and icons that we grew up watching. It's got that big of an influence. So... you know, to think that I could be a part of that in some small way was just really... awesome to think about.**

**[Prince]: (squealing) DISNEY! Thomas!**

**[Thomas]: I know...**

**[Prince]: (squealing) I mean it's just so amazing!**

**[Thomas]: You gonna be okay?**

**[Prince]: -squeals-**

**[Thomas]: Okay I'm gonna move on while you work this out.**

**[Prince]: (squealing) Okay.**

“I can see the family resemblance,” Janus teases, making Remus offended for a second before he remembers who he’s talking to. 

**[Thomas]: Okay, so needless to say. Uhh... despite all that was happening at the time, I was gonna take a week to be a part of an episode. So, they flew me out, they escorted me onto this big lot where all these studios were just like you'd see in the movies. And they brought me to the "Bizaardvark" studio which had this really cool set and you know, I was given my own dressing room. I felt so legit.**

**[Teacher]: Explain what happens in that week, Thomas. It's good to understand the process of making an episode.**

**[Thomas]: Oh! Yeah. Okay, so... Uh... First day was just a read through and I got to meet the rest of the cast. Olivia Rodrigo, Madison Hu, DeVore Ledridge, Ethan Wacker, and a fellow social media man Jake Paul. Everyone was so super nice and welcoming and supportive. Uh... I, of course, was super nervous.**

**[Anxiety]: Well yeah...**

Good to take credit where credit is due. 

**[Thomas]: But they really made me feel like I had nothing to worry about. And that also goes for the crew and the rest of the supporting characters for that episode including Calum Worthy, Nick Galarza and Steve Zaragoza. Just this cool combination of Disney stars and online personalities. And the next two days were full-on rehearsals. An episode... is roughly like a theatrical stage production. You get a script in your dressing room that you have to memorize, a director conducts the whole rehearsal and she was so... wonderfully kind to work with and you just spend the entirety of the two days going scene by scene rehearsing until you get the best deliveries.**

**[Dad]: DELIVERY! Talk about the food. They had food there.**

**[Thomas]: They did have food there. Yup. But what was so fun was my character was quite an eccentric one. So, it was really exciting to just... keep experimenting with how I was saying the lines. When I could make somebody offset laugh that was the best feeling.**

**[Dad]: Dad jokes, they work every time.**

**[Thomas]: Didn't- I did not use any dad jokes.**

**[Dad]: Well... DAD ain't right!**

**[Teacher]: Can you like stop for once in your life?**

**[Dad]: No.**

**[Thomas]: And finally! The last two days are all filming. That's when the camera crew arrives, you get all costumed up,**

**[Prince]: You got some nice duds.**

Yeah, he did. Remus loved the leather jacket they gave him. 

**[Thomas]: They give you a microphone, and then they go through each scene as many times as they need to get the right shots and it could be a lot of times guys. I had no idea how much goes into a single episode. The writing, the camera positioning, the stunt work, the set building the props, the costumes, the sound design, the lighting design, I'm surprised they get all that done in a week. It was quite an eye-opener.**

**[Prince]: But you had a good time?**

**[Thomas]: Oh yeah! And even in between shots, anyone who's done theatre can relate to this, there's always a little bit of goofing and joking and everyone in this cast was so fun and friendly. And I'm really happy with the episode that we created. 10/10! Would recommend. I can't believe I get to check that off the bucket list. "Being in a Disney show".**

**[Prince]: Next step: Becoming a Disney Prince!**

**[Thomas]: Well...**

**[Dad]: Making your kids Disney stars!**

**[Thomas]: No and I don't have kids.**

**[Teacher]: Majoring in Disney Theory!**

**[Thomas]: I don't think that exists.**

**[Anxiety]: Using your platform to positively affect your audience the same way Disney did with you. What? I know your limits, that's all I was saying. Stop looking at me like that.**

“Bad, he’s not providing a solution, not making himself look like a good guy,” Janus praises. 

**[Thomas]: I mean hopefully, yeah. I can use my platform for good. That's all I truly aim for with this channel. I... enjoy making people smile and feel welcome and I... hope I'm doing that. The episode of "Bizaardvark" I am in premieres January 27th and if you watch it, I hope that you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed helping to make it. And until next time, take it easy guys, gals and non-binary pals. Peace out!**

***end card***

**[Teacher]: Okay! Okay! One more clickbait idea for this video.**

**[Thomas]: -annoyed sigh- Okay.**

**[Teacher]: I KILLED THE ENTIRE CAST OF A DISNEY SHOW...**

**[Dad]: with kindness!**

**[Teacher]: See that would actually work here.**

**[Dad]: Yeah, yeah.**

**[Teacher]: Cause that would be the twist you reveal in the video.**

**[Thomas]: Mm-hmm. Smart.**

**[Dad]: Misleading compliments are just clickbait insults.**

**[Teacher]: Whoa…**

***new scene***

**[Thomas]: You're watching the Disney Channel.**

**and... whoop... okay... hold on... I got this... whoa...**

**How's that?**

**[Director]: You're fired.**

**[Thomas]: Fair enough.**

Once again, another debrief. Having not really been in this video as much, Anxiety stays quiet for most of the meeting, speaking only when spoken to and carefully observing the actions and interactions of the other three. What he sees is enlightening, to say the least.

They don’t actually get along well. Logic and Creativity are almost always arguing if they aren’t ignoring each other, and Morality acts like it’s normal, not a problem at all. Morality himself almost never gets involved in the arguments, only stepping in if he feels it is going too far. They aren’t like the Shadows, they aren’t a family at all. At best, they’re a group of roommates, at worst, they’re almost enemies. Virgil sees a lot that the Shadows could exploit. 

Quickly sinking out after the discussion is finished, Virgil returns home to find Janus about to strangle Remus for putting impaled rats in the kitchen. 

“Alright, that’s disgusting,” Virgil remarks lightly. Remus whirls around, and the rats disappear.

“Virgey! What’d you learn?” Remus bounces up, almost like Morality would, but with a far more sinister gleam in his eyes than Morality could ever hope to achieve. 

“They basically hate each other, Re, there’s so much we can use,” Virgil smirks, and proceeds to explain his observations. By the end, Remus is bouncing up and down with glee, and Janus is rubbing his hands together in a Disney-villain-with-a-perfect-plot type of way. 

“So we don’t get Virgil accepted by the other three, then we can’t exploit Morality’s guilt over his banishment, and we definitely won’t exploit Roman and Logan’s animosity,” Janus sums up.

“Sounds about right,” Remus agrees happily. 

“Re, let’s play, you clearly have too much energy right now. Janus, do you want to join us?” Virgil asks. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed!


	8. The Thrill of the Fight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is chappie that has all the violence warnings. Essentially, the shadow fam are sparring, each with their own abilities and weapons. It starts immediately after the end of the last chapter, and has no video associated with it.

“No, I would not like to spar with you,” Janus follows them out, “and I won’t beat both of you at once.”

“Big words for someone who uses a whip,” Virgil teases.

“Oooo, it’s on now,” Remus interjects, “How about a couple rounds of two-on-ones, then one-on-ones later?”

“Sounds horrible,” Janus agrees, with Virgil quickly echoing the confirmation. 

As mentioned before, Remus fights with a morningstar mace, and occasionally a scimitar. Virgil fights with twin daggers that can be lengthened to double swords or just one dagger, one sword. Janus fights with a whip, like the snake he enjoys being, as well as a net made of chain. Being Shadows, they often had to use a lot of power just to be heard, so they all grew much stronger to adapt to the power usage required to be acknowledged by Thomas. Thus, Janus could throw a net made of steel chains with ease, Remus could wield a morningstar with one hand, and Virgil wouldn’t be thrown off by the weight difference of a dagger and sword. 

Today, the fight is all weapons, all powers, no holds barred. The only rule is no fatal wounds. Wrath always refs the matches, mostly because he’s the only one who isn’t afraid to. Envy, Greed, and Lust are more long-range support fighters, not the heavy hitters and without the sheer confidence and finesse that Janus, Remus, and Virgil could pull off. Also, the others don’t have the power to manifest yet, and likely never would, depending on whether or not Thomas ever feeds into them in the way they need. They aren’t main sides, and they may never become so. 

For his fighting words, Janus goes first, calling up his whip and net. Oh, he knows, it’s supposed to be a trident and net, but he didn’t want to follow the rules. Janus stands in the middle of the room, Remus on one side and Virgil on the other. Wrath counts down from five, and when he hits zero, Virgil immediately disappears in a cloud of smoke, reappearing behind Janus, who had whirled around to avoid what he knew was coming. 

“Really, Virgil? You haven’t used that trick a million times before,” Janus snarks.

“Maybe, but where’s Remus?” Virgil smirks, causing Janus’ eyes to widen as he looks around for the crazy man with a mace who is nowhere to be found… until he looks up.

Remus is partially transformed and using his tentacles to stick along the ceiling, right above Janus. As soon as Virgil says that, Remus drops, and all Janus sees is Remus’ ass falling towards him. It’s too late to do anything but drop, roll, and hope, which Janus promptly does. Remus hits the padded floor hard, fall broken only by Janus’ hat, which had fallen off when he rolled out of the way. 

In his distraction, Virgil had again disappeared, reappearing only briefly to pick up the groaning Remus and vanish again. Now thoroughly warned, Janus watched the ceiling and room warily. 

After 30 seconds with nothing happening, Wrath called out a 10 second warning that Virgil and Remus would forfeit if nothing happened. Seven seconds passed before they both attacked, Remus from one side and Virgil from the other. Attacking from the front and back never worked, so they attacked from the sides. 

Remus and Virgil don’t really work together in any immediately recognizable way. Really, they just focus on the target and try not to hit each other, with no real plan except to overwhelm them. Unfortunately, Janus knows their tactics well, and, despite his lack of defensive weapon, is particularly adept at dodging. Still, Virgil and Remus are a force to be reckoned with. 

Janus manages to get his whip wrapped around Virgil’s left wrist, forcing him to drop the short sword before Virgil gets the chance to cut the whip. Quickly retracting the whip, Janus whirls around and, still holding one corner, throws the net at Remus, who was about to hit Janus with the scimitar, while also flicking the whip back at Virgil, forcing him to duck. As Virgil ducks, he grabs his dropped sword and teleports to Remus’ side, throwing the net off of him and vanishing before the whip can hit either of them. 

This goes on for some time in a similar fashion, with breaks every ten minutes for water. Eventually, after almost an hour, Janus manages to disarm Remus, but fails to see Virgil in time. Virgil gets the whip and net away from Janus, and quickly puts one of his swords to Janus’ throat.

“Dead,” Virgil proclaims as Wrath calls the match. There’s another break for a full hour before the next match. As the winner, Virgil is now up against Remus and Janus. 

Remus and Janus actually have solid tactics. Remus takes full advantage of his creation ability to distract Virgil, forcing Virgil to dispel the deadly distractions while also trying to avoid Janus, who makes full use of his ability to turn invisible to slip among the distractions and attempts to disarm Virgil. Again, this goes on for a while, with Virgil managing to successfully fend off the others for almost an hour and a half, before Remus manages to land a solid blow to his back with the mace, and puts his sword to Virgil’s throat.

“Dead,” Remus proclaims as Wrath calls the match. There’s another break for an hour, and then Remus is the one standing alone. 

Remus fighting alone, without having to worry about harming his allies, is a true force of chaos. Virgil and Janus quickly find themselves near overwhelmed from the sheer amount of crazy bullshit Remus is able to conjure up. However, Virgil and Janus fighting together are uniquely qualified to handle this situation, as, when they fight together, they tend to wait out their opponent, let him tire himself out, then strike. Remus, with his nonstop conjuring, tires in 30 minutes, and has to return to physical weapons. Virgil keeps him distracted for about fifteen minutes, matching him blow-for-blow, while Janus, invisible, sneaks up and wraps his whip around Remus’ neck and pulls.

“Alive,” Janus proclaims as Wrath calls the match. 

They have another break, this one for about two hours, before moving on to the one-on-one fights. 

Each of them had all been training with each other for so long that the fights looked more like dances. Remus and Virgil use the entire room, filling it with creatures of the imagination and teleporting through the entire room, even up to the ceiling. Janus and Virgil looks like a fight between the shadows and the air, with Janus using his invisibility with impunity and Virgil manipulating the shadows to help him fight. Remus and Janus fighting is also pure chaos, with Remus flooding the room again with anything he can think of to flush out the invisible snake-morph. 

Soon, they moved on to helping to train the others of the Shadow family. All of them were good, less powerful than Janus, Remus, or Virgil, as they were not fully formed traits, but still good enough to give Creativity a run for his money. 

All in all, this takes up an entire 24 hours, as they don’t need to sleep, and sometimes didn’t like to. Despite their bravado, they are still dark, yet also parts of a good person. It can be difficult for them to reconcile that sometimes, and, while they may not care about the opinions of the other three, Thomas’ opinion matters above everything else. Nightmares are common among the Shadows; Morality’s methods of banishment could be unpleasant at times, and they are all a little broken. They have to be, for this to work. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed!


	9. The MIND vs. The HEART!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, @bookworm610 made some amazing fanart over on tumblr  
https://bookworm610.tumblr.com/post/188362623489/dragonangel-funandfire-here-it-is-d-ill-post  
Check it out!
> 
> "Also, I said updates on Thursdays. I never said when on Thursdays," I mutter to myself as I realize that I haven't updated yet.

“So, according to Creativity, you won’t be needed for this video, Virgey, so you can stay and watch with us again!” Remus says as they all settle in to watch how this video will turn out. 

**[Thomas]: What up, I'm Thomas, this is my vlog, and all other vlogs… are just as good in their own right and need to be respected as such.**

***air horn noise***

***logo***

**[Thomas]: What is up everybody! -sigh- Okay, so, today, I think I've come upon a very important breakthrough in my life: I am an indecisive mess! **

“We totally didn’t know that already,” Janus says, rolling his eyes. 

**[Thomas]: Actually, I already knew that. The breakthrough is in possibly WHY I'm a mess, but to actually see if I'm right, I'm going to have to do a little soul-searching. So… Morality!**

**[Morality]: -sipping- What?**

**[Thomas]: What?**

**[Morality]: Son, you summoned ME this time!**

**[Thomas]: I'm not your son. Why the pajamas?**

**[Morality]: Well, you caught me off guard. Usually it's your pop who pops in on you! -laughs-**

**[Thomas]: Again, I'm not your son. And please change, you're only half of who I need to talk to. Logic!**

**[Logic]: -sniffs-**

“Morality, I expected. Logic, I did not,” Virgil says, mildly shocked. Remus and Janus both agree. 

**[Thomas]: Wow.**

**[Morality]: Nice.**

**[Logic]: I can explain.**

**[Thomas]: No need, just change.**

**[Logic]: Done.**

**[Morality]: Word!**

**[Thomas]: Awesome. Now, I brought you two here because I think we need to address an issue.**

**[Logic]: What issue? You're totally fine.**

**[Morality]: Well, I would probably let him finish his thought, Teach.**

**[Logic]: Well, looking at things objectively, he's fine.**

**[Morality]: But is it right to just speak over someone, especially our little guy?**

**[Logic]: Uh, I know him better than anyone, because I know how he works, okay? So, I don't....**

**[Morality]: Any amount of time is worth spending! It's not all about what's up here, you've gotta hear the emotions, the feelings, right to the side (overlapping).**

**[Logic]: Far be it from me to just try to simplify this problem, all I was trying to do was (overlapping).**

“Oh, so  _ now  _ he’s brave enough to stand up to Morality, but he wasn’t when we were banished? Color me surprised,” Remus mutters sarcastically. 

**[Thomas]: Okay, okay, ENOUGH! This is the issue! Dad Guy, you kind of embody a bit more than just my morality. You also seem to have my deep emotions and empathy. Teacher Dude, along with my logical thinking, you also have this extreme interest in how things work, and efficiency seems to be a priority for you. So..... don't you think you two kind of work against each other? A lot?**

**[Morality]: Aww, I wouldn't say that....**

**[Logic]: No, that doesn't sound accurate.**

**[Thomas]: No? It seems like with any crucial junction in my life, I am always split between what either of you think is best for me. My Heart… and my Mind.**

**[Morality]: Well, what about Anxiety? He always seems to get you down.**

“Blaming the banished, big surprise there,” Virgil rolls his eyes. 

**[Logic]: Or Princey. He literally has dreams that are delusional and highly unrealistic.**

**[Thomas]: No, those are different problems. You two butt heads so often it exhausts me.**

**[Logic]: Okay, can you provide us with some examples?**

**[Thomas]: Well...**

***new scene***

**[Thomas]: Hey, what's up? Moving, huh? Bet you're calling me for a little assistance. Ummm...**

**[Morality]: Do it! They're such a good friend, you gotta be a good friend too.**

**[Thomas]: Umm...**

**[Logic]: Don't do it! You already have two things going on that day and three the next day. You need optimal sleep and rest.**

**[Thomas]: UHH....**

**[Morality]: They'd do the same for you.**

**[Logic]: You don't have the time.**

**(Morality and Logic overlapping loudly)**

“Honestly, I’m surprised that Morality didn’t just send him to us, with how much they argue,” Virgil notes with some surprise. The others agree. 

**[Thomas]: UHHHHHH**

***end scene***

**[Morality]: Okay. We might have been a...tad bit confusing.**

**[Logic]: I still don't think that's enough data to say--**

**[Thomas]: ALSO,**

***new scene***

**[Thomas]: Look at all these cute dogs!**

**[Morality]: ADOPT THEM!**

**[Thomas]: ...What?**

**[Morality]: You NEED to adopt them! Who knows what might happen if you DON'T adopt them and they NEED a good home!**

**[Logic]: You are not going to adopt an animal.**

**[Thomas]: Oh?**

**[Logic]: Do you have the time for one, let alone multiple, dogs? Are you here in this house enough to give it the attention and love that it needs?**

**[Morality]: (voice cracking) WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT LOVE?!**

**[Logic]: APPARENTLY MORE IF YOU IF YOU THINK--**

**(Morality and Logic overlapping loudly)**

***end scene***

**[Logic]: ...Huh.**

**[Morality]: Okay, you... might actually have a point--**

**[Thomas]: AND,**

***new scene***

**[Thomas]: If I don't straighten up this place, even just a little, all this clutter is gonna keep getting me down!**

**[Logic]: Throw out that entire stack of papers!**

**[Morality]: Those are his notes and writings from when he was 13, Logic!**

**[Logic]: They're useless now, Morality! Do you want him to be a hoarder for the rest of his life?**

**(Morality and Logic overlapping loudly)**

**[Thomas]: -loudly groaning-**

***end scene***

“This is bad, Thomas doesn’t know he is the boss of all of us,” Janus considers mildly, “He can’t keep us down if he wants to, and he also can’t control the main three if they get uppity.”

**[Logic]: Okay, okay, we get it.**

**[Morality]: I had NO IDEA we were doing that! We are so sorry!**

**[Thomas]: I mean, it's completely understandable, you two are just...looking out for me. The only problem is, like actual parents and teachers sometimes do, you have differing opinions on what the child needs most.**

**[Morality]: D'aww, does that mean you're--**

**[Thomas]: I'm not your son.**

**[Morality]: Well...**

**[Logic]: What can we do to fix this?**

**[Thomas]: The only thing to do:**

**[All]: Compromise.**

**[Thomas]: Dad Guy. You encourage me to do what's right, and to strive to do the most good in this world that I possibly can. And I appreciate that. But, a lot of times, I spread myself too thin. I also tend to make others a priority over me, and their feelings a priority over mine. And many times, that's great, it's necessary, but other times, I… need to take time to make myself the priority and make sure I'M doing okay.**

**[Morality]: Oh, of course! I never wanted you to feel like you couldn't!**

“And he went too far with that, didn’t he?” Virgil remarks.

**[Thomas]: And, Teach?**

**[Logic]: Ah, here we go.**

**[Thomas]: You help me to keep a level head about things. You help me to prioritize and rationalize when I'm feeling overwhelmed, and that is awesome. But sometimes, doing what's right doesn't serve my own needs. Sometimes, if the situation calls for it, inconveniencing myself a bit in order to help someone else in need is the right thing to do.**

**[Logic]: Point taken. I have a lot to consider.**

“I wonder if we could get Logic on board? I have a feeling that he will be ignored a lot in these videos, he may get fed up enough to come to us…” Remus trails off, considering the possibilities. 

**[Morality]: So, in the case of helping your friend who is moving, you could have explained your situation...**

**[Logic]: ...and made it up to them another time...**

**[Morality]: ...or you coulda canceled something else...**

**[Logic]: ...to make time for them!**

**[Thomas]: Nice!**

**[Logic]: With the dogs, you could have...maybe accommodated adopting one...**

**[Morality]: ...or share the adoption page to see if anyone else could!**

**[Thomas]: LOVE IT!!! And how about the room cleaning?**

**[Morality]: Buy a bigger house!**

**[Thomas]: -concerned noise-**

**[Logic]: ...That, or you could rent a storage space so you wouldn't have to throw them away if you truly couldn't part with them.**

**[Morality]: Come on though. Bigger house means more dogs! Am I right? No? I'm getting worse? I'm sorry.**

**[Thomas]: All good! This is all progress. You'll probably butt heads plenty more after this, but that's okay! At the end of the day, there's one thing you both can agree upon. You both**

***at the same time***

**[Thomas]: want what's best for me--**

**[Morality and Logic]: ENJOY ONESIE PAJAMAS.**

**[Thomas]: Or. Or that.**

**[Logic]: I learned so much today!**

**[Morality]: Thanks for teaching your old man a lesson!**

**[Thomas]: I-- -growls- Well, I hope you are all able to find a healthy balance in your lives as well and until next time… … take it easy, guys, gals, and non-binary pals. PEACE OUT!**

***end card***

**[Morality]: These things are just so soft and secure.**

**[Logic]: You're very correct.**

**[Morality]: Always the best for taking a little nap...**

**[Logic]: Heh. Don't you mean a little CAT nap?**

**[Morality]: -gasp- ...Did you just make a dad joke?**

**[Logic]: ....Um. No? I did not mean to--**

**[Morality]: I AM SO PROUD!**

**[Logic]: Please don't be proud... Or tell anyone.**

**[Morality]: -squeals-**

Virgil is called away for a debrief, even though he wasn’t in the video.

“So, doom and gloom, what did you think of the video?” Creativity asks.

“Didn’t watch it,” he mumbles, and, that taken care of, sinks out. He hears the offended princey noises behind him as he goes. 

“That was slow,” Janus says with surprise.

“Yeah, I just told them that I hadn’t watched the episode and then sunk out,” Virgil replies, “Creativity sounded particularly offended.”

“Yeah, there wasn’t much we could get from this video, though we could try to widen the divide between Logic and the other two. It would weaken them, not that they aren’t already weaker than a baby bird in an airplane wake, but it would give us an even greater advantage,” Remus plans.

“Got it, empathise with Logic and distance him from the others, sounds easy enough,” Virgil says, thinking on how to change the Anxiety act to accommodate that plan. 

“Come on, dears, we don’t have movies to watch,” Janus says, “and I don’t have snacks.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed!


	10. Alone on VALENTINE’S DAY!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made a playlist! Mostly just to help me write, but if y'all want to listen, here its is. Maybe you can have some fun with trying to guess which song goes with writing which character?  
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLppUU7RrQeg1C2O_pD9L3h3HM0tzaIeHr
> 
> Also, I am currently writing chapter 16, but it is giving me some trouble. I hope to have it done by the time we catch up, if we do, but updates may slow down after that if I have no other chapters prepped at that point.

“This one is gonna be disgusting, isn’t it? Ugh, romance,” Virgil says. None of the Shadow family are big on romance, preferring platonic, familial love to any kind of romantic relationship-type love. In that respect, all of them are aromantic, or somewhere on the a-spectrum. 

**[Thomas]: Roses are red,**

**Violets are blue.**

**Sunflowers are yellow.**

**Tulips go in all sorts of colors,**

**So do Roses.**

**I really like flowers.**

**Daffodils are also yellow.**

***logo***

**[Thomas]: What is up everybody?! It's that time of year again: Valentine's day. Do you have a date? I don't, and I don't know where I'm going to get one, approaching people is difficult.**

**[Anxiety]: That's an understatement.**

It’s never a good day if Anxiety is the first to show up. 

**[Thomas]: Oh! Anxiety... Perfect, that settles it; I'm not gonna approach anyone this year.**

**[Morality]: Now, don't say that! It's still possible.**

**[Anxiety]: Morality, don't lie to him.**

“Hello,” Janus hisses. 

**[Thomas]: Yeah, meeting people is hard.**

**[Logic]: Doesn't have to be.**

**[Prince]: Logic is right.**

**[Thomas]: Wow, my fanciful side is agreeing with my logical side.**

**[Logic]: Thomas, in this instance, pragmatism and optimism aren't necessarily contradictory.**

“That alliance won’t last long,” Remus says, “My brother will come up with something unrealistic, or Logic will, and it will splinter quickly.”

**[Morality]: I know big words too! Saxophone...**

**[Thomas]: Okay, so you guys think there is a way to not spend my Valentine's Day alone?**

**[Prince]: Oh yeah!**

**[Thomas]: How?**

**[Morality]: We just need to go about it the right way! Let's put our heads together and create a game plan. First, we'll need someone to practice on...**

**[Logic]: But who?**

**[Morality]: Each other?**

No way would Anxiety let that happen. Thankfully, Thomas came up with a solution before Anxiety had to interject. 

**[Thomas]: No, no! How about we... use... my friend! Valerie!**

**[Anxiety]: Valerie?**

***ping***

**[Thomas]: Valerie.**

**[Morality]: Hey!**

**[Prince]: Hey!**

**[Logic]: Salutations.**

**[Thomas]: So, explain to me how you would go about securing a date with Valerie for Valentine's day.**

**[Anxiety]: I've got an idea: Don't! Don't even try.**

“Anxiety has a message that he’s trying to get across, but everyone keeps interrupting him, and he’s not the best at communicating. Virgil is  _ good _ at acting, wow,” Remus analyzes. Janus agrees. 

**[Morality]: Now, Anxiety, if you don't wanna participate, you can just sit this one out.**

**[Anxiety]: That's... not exactly how I work...**

***ping***

**[Logic]: Now! I know we are all about to get into some big confusing discussion, but there is no need to overcomplicate things. I have the solution! The trick to getting a date is to just be completely upfront and honest, alright?**

**[Logic]: Hello.**

**[Valerie]: Hello.**

**[Logic]: We are humans...**

**[Valerie]: Yes.**

**[Logic]: As humans, one possible objective is to procreate...**

**[Valerie]: Yes.**

**[Logic]: Therefore, would you like to copulate with me?**

**[Valerie]: Yes.**

**[Logic]: There, done.**

“Yes, that will  _ totally  _ work,” Janus says, voice dripping with sarcasm.

**[Morality]: Wow!**

**[Thomas]: ...That's not how people work!**

**[Prince]: You had no tact whatsoever.**

**[Logic]: Fine. Hello! Do you like food?**

**[Valerie]: Yes.**

**[Logic]: Do you like romantic outings?**

**[Valerie]: Yes.**

**[Logic]: I can provide both of those things. Therefore, you will be my date.**

**[Valerie]: Yes.**

**[Logic]: Happy?**

**[Thomas]: (doubtful) Seriously?**

**[Logic]: Yes! And then you continue to... talk-talk-talk until eventual marriage and/or copulation. That's the process.**

**[Anxiety]: Yeah, if your life is a Sims game.**

**[Logic]: That's ridiculous. This is what it would be like if your life is a Sims game:**

**[Logic & Valerie]: -talk in Simmish-**

**[Thomas]: Stop it. Stop!**

**[Anxiety]: If you went about tryin' get a date that way, it would look like this:**

**[Logic]: Hello, do you like food?**

**[Valerie]: Yeah...**

**[Logic]: Do you like romantic outings?**

**[Valerie]: I mean, sometimes...?**

**[Logic]: I can provide both of those things. Therefore, you would be my date.**

**[Valerie]: (stuttering) ... I'm.. I'm uh... go.**

**[Anxiety]: Just saying.**

Criticism is Anxiety trying to be helpful in the most unhelpful way possible, but Anxiety is socially awkward, so communication problems are a must. 

**[Thomas]: Yeah...**

**[Prince]: Your problem is you didn't woo her with any gusto. You know what people like?**

**[Morality]: Bagels!**

**[Prince]: ...No, what? Maybe. Um... Poetry!**

**[Logic]: Poetry?**

***ping***

**[Prince]: Allow me to recite Shakespeare's sonnet 138.**

**"When my love swears to me that she is**

**(Morality: aww!)**

**[Prince]: made of truth**

**I do believe her, though I know she lies**

**That she might think me some untutor'd youth..."**

**[Logic]: Gonna stop you right there. That sonnet is about an older man and an unfaithful girl, lying to preserve their relationship.**

**[Prince]: Oh.**

**[Logic]: Yeah… So... um, might I recommend Shakespeare's sonnet 18?**

**"Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?.."**

**[Morality]: I mean, I wouldn't recommend reading someone else's words. You need to say what's in your heart!**

**[Anxiety]: -chuckles- Come on, if you do that, you could get all tongue tied… Jumbled... Confused.**

***ping***

**[Morality]: Well, then you write it all before hand in a letter. -laughs-**

**"Dear Valerie,**

**Happy "Valerie-ntine's day"... wow, that didn't come off quite as well as I would've liked it to. Maybe not one of my best jokes. Um, well, er..." (continues reading)**

**[Prince]: He wrote this down?**

**[Morality]: "I don't quite know how to proceed here… but I would like to ask… Hmm, how do I put this? I would like to speak from the heart, but hearts don't have mouths… Well, that was a little weird to say..." (continues reading)**

**[Logic]: This was the whole problem he was trying to circumnavigate.**

**[Morality]: "...Hum. Wow, uh, is it hot in here? It's a little hot in here to me... I'm getting a little bit sweaty..."**

**[Thomas]: Okay! I think that was… That was a bit of a failed experiment.**

**[Morality]: Fine! No words.**

**[Thomas]: No.**

**[Anxiety]: No!**

“Hugging random strangers is a  _ great  _ idea,” Janus says.

“Yeah, if you wanna get stabbed!” Remus chimes in. 

Anxiety is thinking exactly the same thing. 

**[Thomas]: What if that were a stranger?**

**[Logic]: You can't just touch people.**

**[Morality]: Okay! Then you create a gift to give them! A drawing! Here you go.**

**[Prince]: But that could be just taken as a gift from a friend.**

**[Valerie]: Wow! Thanks!**

**[Anxiety]: Or worse...**

**[Valerie]: Wow, this is horrible. I never realized how stupid and untalented you are.**

**[Morality]: -laughing- Well, I'm hopelessly crushed.**

“Good,” Remus and Janus say in unison with Virgil’s thoughts.

**[Thomas]: Yeah, wow...**

**[Morality]: Look, the main point I wanted to get is that you should try to make them feel special! Don't talk about yourself so much and make sure they feel heard.**

**[Prince]: (upset) Not talk about me...**

**[Logic]: But then, why would they buy what you're selling if they don't know anything about you?**

**[Prince]: Agreed! There is a way to simultaneously make them feel special AND show them how awesome you are!**

**[Thomas]: How?**

**[Prince]: You find out what might be making their life difficult.**

**[Morality]: (almost crying) Yeah?**

**[Prince]: And you kill it.**

**[Anxiety]: What?!?**

***ping***

**[Prince]: You there! Young maiden, what is burdening your life? Perhaps an evil stepmother? Or a dragon witch?**

**[Logic]: A dragon witch?**

**[Valerie]: Yes! This dragon witch has been ruining my life!**

**[Dragon Witch]: F*ck you, Valerie.**

**[Prince]: I SHALL SAVE YOU!**

**[Thomas]: Is that a samurai sword?**

“Yep, he is the only one of the main three with a weapon,” Remus says, “and it isn’t even a good one. I have to hold back immensely when he wants to spar. I always win, of course, but it’s not fun if I have to pretend to be worse than I am.”

**[Prince]: -angry yell-**

***sword sounds and groans***

**[Dragon Witch]: Ahh, my spleen!**

**[Prince]: All saved!**

**[Valerie]: You made me feel special! And you are awesome!**

**[Prince]: What can I say? I'm a mean spleen stabbin machine.**

**[Logic]: (whispering) In no reality would this be a situation.**

**[Prince]: And afterwards you do a grand gesture!**

**[Morality]: That wasn't a grand gesture?**

**[Prince]: You wed them! Will you marry me?**

**[Valerie]: Yes! *gasps* (Spanish) Ay, I have waited for you so long, Tomás... Do you really love me?**

**[Prince]: (Also Spanish) I assure you, I love you with all my heart.**

**[Valerie]: -sigh- Ay!**

**[Logic]: How do you know Spanish?!**

**[Thomas]: I don't even know Spanish,**

**[Prince]: Look, this is what you gotta do.**

**[Anxiety]: There is no way he could do any of that! Besides, weddings are nothing but outdated, expensive pageantry.**

Cynicism is a big part of both Anxiety and Paranoia, when looking at world-views. 

**[Prince]: What?!**

**[Anxiety]: Plus, the diamond industry is incredibly unethical.**

**[Morality]: What?!**

**[Logic]: Sure! Have you heard of "blood diamonds"?**

**[Thomas]: Okay, stop. Don't... You are upsetting him.**

_ Good _ , Virgil thinks. 

**[Logic]: Okay. Well...**

**[Prince]: So, we are at a loss for what to do...**

**[Logic]: There's gotta be something we haven't thought about!**

**[Morality]: I'm feeling all types of bad.**

**[Anxiety]: -growls- This whole thing is pointless!**

**[Thomas]: Yes! We already know your point of view.**

**[Anxiety]: Look, all I'm saying is this just a waste of time! Psyching yourself out over cheap tactics that have never been useful to you before, I mean, seriously, Thomas! In any past relationship you've ever been in, haven't they always developed when you least expected them to?**

There we go, communication issues, show that you have input but never know how to word it or get interrupted before you can say it. 

**[Thomas]: Huh. You actually... have a point.**

**[Logic]: You were never actively searching for someone.**

**[Morality]: You met someone, got to know them casually, and then the feelings started there!**

**[Prince]: The romance came about naturally.**

**[Anxiety]: I wasn't trying to... help.**

**[Thomas]: No, this is great! It really helps to put things into perspective! I shouldn't be trying to force things to happen just for some... day. That's probably the best thing to keep in min-...**

***ping***

**(Morality and Valerie play patty-cakes)**

**[Thomas]: Morality, can you... leave Valerie alone for one second?**

**[Morality & Valerie]: Ugh.**

**[Thomas]: And if I happen to meet someone, I really don't have anything to lose. I'll be upfront and honest, I'll speak from the heart, and make them feel heard. And when the time is right, I can work in some grand, realistic, romantic gestures.**

**[Prince]: Yeah, okay.**

**[Thomas]: Even if it doesn't work out! Isn't Valentine's day about much more than just romantic love?**

**[Morality]: Well, there is love for your family.**

**[Logic]: Love for your work.**

**[Anxiety]: Low-stake platonic love, where people don't expect as much from you.**

**[Prince]: And self-love!**

**[Thomas]: And if that's what we need to focus on for Valentine's day… Valerie! The Valerie who is my amazing friend, and not a hypothetical stranger Valerie. I would like to express my platonic, friend love for you with a nice hug, yeah?**

**[Valerie]: Yeah!**

**[Morality]: Aw!**

**[Thomas]: And as for self-love; you guys, the different aspects of my personality, I suggest you all say "I love you" to each other.**

_ Fuck that, _ Virgil thinks loudly enough that Remus and Janus hear. Virgil hears faint laughter from them before turning his attention back to the problem at hand. 

**[Morality]: I love you all so much!**

**[Logic]: I loooove... you?...**

**[Morality]: If I could give you all butterfly kisses, do you know what those are? With the eyelashes?**

**[Logic]: I... love you- and...**

**[Morality]: You make my life complete.**

**[Logic]: Your existence is inconsequential- I mean, unimportant… I mean... gooooood.**

**[Prince]: What can I say? You are all so handsome.**

**[Logic]: Well, that does make sense.**

**[Prince]: Just not as handsome as me.**

**[Logic]: That does not make sense.**

**[Prince]: Well, you two have glasses, you know? Like, nerds!**

**[Anxiety]: -smirks-**

**[Prince]: What are you laughing at, Hot Topic?**

**[Anxiety]: Aw, you think I'm hot.**

**[Morality]: Princey, tell us you love us. Now.**

**[Prince]: -sighs- I love you.**

**[Anxiety]: I don't know how you expect me to say it. You all took turns, you are all looking at me…**

“I hate you,” is what Paranoia wants to say. 

**[Morality]: Come on!**

**[Anxiety]: Can it just be like, an understood thing?**

“You can rot in hell for the pain you caused my family and I,” Paranoia doesn’t say. 

**[Morality]: -gasps- You are implying that you love us!**

**[Anxiety]: No...**

**[Prince]: Look! His face is so red behind that white foundation.**

**[Anxiety]: I hate everything about this.**

“I can’t wait until I can show you who I really am,” Paranoia carefully doesn’t say, “Then you will see how much I love you.”

***ducks out***

**[Morality]: Well, this was adorable!**

***ducks out***

**[Thomas]: It was!**

**[Logic]: Call me when you have something a little less feelings-y.**

***ducks out***

**[Thomas]: Will do.**

**[Prince]: I gotta go bury that dragon witch body.**

***ducks out***

**[Thomas]: Okay, you do that. And for all of you, whether you are spending Valentine's day with a romantic partner, friends, or alone, take the day to celebrate love in all its wonderful forms. And until next time, take it easy guys, gals and non-binary pals! Peace out!**

***end card***

**[Prince]: Honestly, my way would've totally worked, you guys.**

**[Anxiety]: Totally would not have.**

**[Logic]: You think you can do better?**

**[Anxiety]: Better than that!**

**[Morality]: Well, then you get a chance!**

***ping***

**[Anxiety]: Fine. First, you take her by the hand. Then you...**

**[Prince]: Oh my**

**[Anxiety]: -groans-**

**[Prince]: GOD!**

**(background screams)**

**[Logic]: Nice one!**

**[Morality]: (playing pattycake with Valerie) What I do?**

Popping into the kitchen faster than the others can rise up, Anxiety wanders over to the fridge and pulls out a soda, not that he needs the caffeine, though he sort of does, dealing with the others, but he just wants a soda. 

“Anxiety, were you having trouble communicating your intended message?” Logic asks, seeming concerned. 

“Sort of,” Anxiety shrugged, “I kept getting interrupted, too.”

“I did notice that, and I apologize if I interrupted you at any point. When you did get your turn to speak, you made a point that would have made most of the video entirely unnecessary, or at least solved the problem quicker,” Logic notes. 

“But then we wouldn’t have been able to show how we would woo someone!” Roman cries out dramatically. 

“Considering how awkward the entire thing was, would that have been a bad thing?” Anxiety mumbles before sinking out. 

“Good job reigning yourself in, Virge. I know how hard it must have been, not telling them how you really feel,” Remus says. 

“You have no idea,” Virgil smirks, “I was so close to just telling them the truth.” 

“Oh, something just occurred to me,” Virgil continues, “What if we could get King Creativity back? Could you and Princey even fuse again after all this time?”

“It’s possible,” Remus muses, “but not a good idea. We don’t know which side Romulus would take. We could gain a powerful ally, true, or make a powerful enemy. I would prefer not to take that chance.”

“You also wouldn’t lose our partner, Virgil. Remus wouldn’t be gone forever if they managed to fuse again,” Janus points out. 

“True. Could we use Pride, instead?” Virgil offers.

“Maybe, but, again, that would be a risk. The others may know how to deal with Pride at this point, and Roman may even be able to fight his own way out of the corruption,” Remus replies, having considered it before, “Maybe if we can get Logic on our side, but that seems unlikely. The most we can ask for is for him to be neutral.”

“That isn’t enough plotting for today, dears, it isn’t time for bed. I think we don’t all need a cuddle pile tonight,” Janus offers. Remus and Virgil quickly change into their onesies, which match their animal forms, and snuggle up to their snake partner for a quiet night in. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed!


	11. Losing My Motivation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!

“This one is not going to be Logic-focused, and I did not hear Creativity say something about a name reveal,” Janus mentions.

“Great, they’ll all be getting on me about ‘choosing’ a name,” Virgil rolls his eyes. 

**[Thomas]: Hey, how many YouTubers does it take to screw in a light bulb? One to screw in the light bulb. And another one to help stabilize the ladder during the installation. Thought that was going to be a joke? Home maintenance is not a joke.**

***logo***

**[Thomas]: What is up, everybody?! Man, you are in for a treat because for today’s video, I got nothin’...**

**[Logic]: Um… I’m sorry, what?!**

**[Thomas]: I don’t know, Logic, I just don’t really know what to talk about…**

**[Logic]: Preposterous! There’s an infinitesimal amount of things in this bizarre massive universe brimming with exciting mysteries and you don’t really know what to talk about?**

"Did Logic just misuse a word?" Virgil blinks in shock. 

**[Thomas]: Well… I didn’t look into any topics and I just kind of flew into this video without any prep…**

**[Logic]: Why did you do that?**

**[Thomas]: I DON’T KNOW, LOGIC! I KNOW IT DEFIES...LOGIC! I’m just a textbook procrastinator.**

**[Logic]: Oh no, you procrastinate on a lot more than just reading textbooks.**

“Does he always take such things literally?” Remus wonders.

“Sometimes he just does it for the camera, but there have been some legit misunderstandings in the past,” Virgil replies.

**[Thomas]: N-n...**

**[Logic]: But more importantly, procrastination is not the cause, it is the effect; a reaction due to something else going on...**

**[Thomas]: Wait, really?!**

**[Logic]: Any idea what might be causing your lack of motivation?**

**[Thomas]: -chortle- If I knew, I probably wouldn’t be procrastinating as much.**

**[Logic]: Then we must get to the bottom of this! What is the culprit? The game is on…**

**[Thomas]: What’re you, Sherlock? ...Yesss apparently you are. Didn’t take you for the dress-up type…**

“NEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Remus shouts before Janus shuts him up. 

**[Logic]: This is strictly to get me into the mindset for deductive reasoning. All business.**

**[Morality]: I’ll be Watson!**

**[Logic]: NO, YOU CAN’T PLAY WITH US!!**

**[Thomas]: All business, huh?**

**[Morality]: Sherlock always has a Watson to help with deduction!**

**[Logic]: Morality, you play no part in deduction.**

**[Morality]: LOOK! I’ve got a scarf too!**

**[Logic]: Is that… are you wearing the cardigan that is usually wrapped around your shoulders?**

**[Morality]: I’ve been waiting for this day to wear it…**

**[Thomas]: Okay, yeah, you’re gonna let him play.**

**[Logic]: -sigh- Fine.**

**[Morality]: YAY!!!**

**[Logic]: Now, Thomas, when you think about getting started with a video, or any other big project, what are some of your immediate feelings?**

**[Thomas]: You know, I would say nervousness… I wanna make sure whatever I make, people would enjoy it.**

“There it is, I better get ready,” Virgil says, standing up and going to the bathroom to grab his eyeliner pencil. 

**[Logic & Morality]: AHA!**

**[Logic]: You deduced it, too?!**

**[Morality]: No! I found a dollar in my pocket! Oh, it was in my cardigan since my character was first introduced, isn’t that something? Oh, my goodness!**

**[Logic]: ANXIETY!**

**[A wild Anxiety appears]**

**[Anxiety]: Um… Rude much? I was just touching up my eyeshadow…**

**[Logic]: You actually look into a mirror to put that on?**

**[Anxiety]: Did you actually look into a mirror when you put THAT on?**

**[Logic]: Wow.**

**[Thomas]: Geez.**

**[Anxiety]: Can I help you?**

Not that I want to, but if it means that I can leave that much faster. 

**[Morality]: Yeah, do you have any quarters?**

**[Logic]: I have grounds to suspect that you are the cause of Thomas’s procrastination.**

**[Thomas]: -distracted chuckle-**

**[Anxiety]: Not that I’m disagreeing with you, but what are these grounds?**

**[Logic]: Thomas has related to me that he is ANXIOUS**

**[Anxiety is not impressed] **

**[Logic]: about how his video will turn out.So, rather than start it, he is avoiding it. It’s you Anxiety, isn’t it? You’re the one causing him to worry about those things!**

**[Anxiety]: Avoiding things is my specialty… I’m the one who earned him his Temple Run record of 2012.**

He had, but for an entirely different reason. Mostly, it was just to annoy the others by influencing Thomas a bit, just enough to remind them that the Shadows still lurked. Morality was jumping at shadows for the next week. 

**[Morality]: Ah, memories.**

**[Anxiety]: Can’t be a bad video if you never make one.**

Memes will help get sympathy from the audience, who were calling themselves Fanders now. 

**[Thomas]: Okay, so, is there anything that can be done?**

**[Logic]: I would say the first thing to do is to trust yourself that you have what it takes to do the project well.**

**[Morality]: Whatever comes, you have to allow yourself to make mistakes. Not everything can be perfect. It’s all a growing process.**

**[Anxiety]: And when in doubt, remember that everything we do is all pointless anyway.**

**[Thomas]: Bleak. But I appreciate you trying to contribute.**

**[Anxiety]: You’re not welcome.**

**[Logic]: Well, case closed.**

**[Morality]: BRILLIANT! Oh!**

**[Logic]: Elementary, my dear--Daddy...no..**

“WHat do those two get up to?” Remus’ voice cracks on the first word. 

**[Thomas]: Well, actually, I don’t know, I mean… Sure, there’s nothing for me to be scared of, but I don’t know, I’m still not feeling it…**

**[Morality]: -GASP-**

**[Thomas]: Maybe you know, I can come back to this later.**

**[Logic]: Thomas, are you implying that LOGIC was not sound?! Anxiety’s the antagonist.**

**[Anxiety]: I’m not ALWAYS the bad guy…**

**[Morality]: Aw… of course, you’re not, big guy!**

**[Logic]: Of course! That would have been too obvious. There must be something else…**

**[Anxiety]: Other than me?**

**[Logic]: Think, ponder, deliberate! OF COURSE!**

**[Morality]: What is it?!**

**[Logic]: What do you need to do a video?**

**[Morality]: A camera!**

**[Logic]: Correct but think more generally. What starts you down the path on any big job?**

**[Morality]: A big job application!**

**[Logic]: Why do I even try?!**

**[Anxiety]: Can I take a stab?**

**[Logic]: WHO GAVE HIM A KNIFE?!**

See, Logic takes things too literally. In this case, it was a misunderstanding, but a funny one. Virgil always had at least 10 knives on him, though Anxiety is not armed as far as anyone else knows. The hoodie is good for something. 

**[Anxiety]: An idea. He needs an idea.**

**[Logic]: Oh. Yes.**

**[Thomas]: Huh…**

**[Anxiety]: And in order to do that, he needs to be creative. You’re looking for his fanciful side.**

**[Princey]: You called?**

**[Anxiety]: I did not.**

**[Logic]: Princey, you are in charge of bringing Thomas inspiration. What happened?**

**[Princey]: I’m sorry, what is happening here?**

**[Morality]: Logic and I are playing dress-up, Anxiety’s making us question our existence, and I found a dollar!**

**[Princey]: That dollar you borrowed from me 8 years ago?**

**[Morality]: Ah, yeah.**

**[Princey]: Thank, you news-y hipster theater kid--Mark from Rent.**

**[Logic]: And Thomas has not gotten started with his video yet, and I have reason to believe YOU are the cause of our conundrum!**

**[Princey]: Look, I’m out there, living the fanciful dream, okay? He couldn’t be struggling because of me. Why not Sunshine over here?**

**[Anxiety]: They already ruled me out, Sir Sing-A-Lot.**

For once, Anxiety is not the bad guy. Though, it isn’t Creativity, either. 

**[Princey]: Ha! I like that nickname, and I’m gonna use it now!**

**[Thomas]: I mean, basic ideas are one thing, but a good idea is what I struggle with.**

**[Princey]: Well if it’s not a perfect idea, it’s not good enough. You don’t want to put out anything but your best.**

**[Logic]: AH!!! I think I see a spider behind you! No?**

**[Princey]: What?**

**[Logic]: Okay, maybe not. It was a shadow. But see there, that’s what first drafts are for. It’s better to start, get it done, and improve it afterwards. If you sit around waiting for inspiration to strike, consistency in unattainable.**

**[Thomas]: Oh, man. I do do that.**

**[Morality]: -giggle- Doodoo.**

**[Princey]: Well, I suppose you’re right. I shouldn’t be so picky.**

**[Thomas]: Yeah, that has put me in some bad last-minute situations before.**

**[Princey]: My bad.**

**[Thomas]: Okay, so I now just need to get started with an idea but how do I get there? I still feel like putting this whole thing off.**

**[Logic]: Well then, that means there’s more to this than just Princey… He’s just a pawn.**

**[Princey]: I am a knight, thank you very much.**

**[Thomas]: It’s not like this is some big conspiracy. Why do I feel so unmotivated?**

**[Logic]: -sigh-**

**[Thomas]: It’s like my heart’s not in it…**

**[Logic]: Oh no…**

**[Morality]: What?**

**[Logic]: How could you do it? I trusted you…**

**[Morality]: Way?**

**[Thomas]: What is going on?**

**[Anxiety]: Something good.**

Virgil enjoyed seeing Morality get blamed for something that wasn’t his fault. It was time that he knew how it felt. Remus and Janus agreed when he says as much to them, through their own connection. 

**[Logic]: Thomas said it himself. His heart’s not in it. You’re basically his heart.**

**[Morality]: HUH?!**

**[Princey]: Ooh, I like dramatic twists!**

**[Logic]: Without you, Thomas lacks the passion to get creative and start this project!**

**[Thomas]: Oh, wow!**

**[Morality]: I don’t mean to, Thomas! I-I wanna be into it!**

**[Thomas]: Well, okay if he’s the culprit and you don’t wanna be, what can we do?**

**[Logic]: I don’t know! Why do you feel like you’re lacking passion?**

**[Morality]: I don’t know!**

**[Logic]: -sigh- Feelings. The bane of my existence.**

**[Princey]: Is it because I have a dollar and you don’t?**

**[Morality]: It’s just that when I think about “making a video,” it’s just this weird, mushy vision.**

**[Thomas]: Well that’s not... good.**

**[Morality]: It’s almost like the whole vision isn’t there to begin with.**

**[Logic]: Well, yes, we established that in order to have a vision for a video, we need to encourage creativity to come up with a basic idea.**

**[Morality]: NO! I mean the whole vision of the creating process!**

**[Logic]: What?**

**[Morality]: This whole time, we’ve been trying to get at the root of what causes procrastination. I think this could all be really helped by…**

**[Thomas]: ...making a plan to AVOID procrastination.**

**[Princey]: Well, who should’ve done that?**

**[Logic]: Me. WAIT. *DUNN***

**[Princey]: This is a bigger ending twist than the Oscars.**

**[Thomas]: Stop you’re dating the video. Don’t do that.**

**[Logic]: But I, I’ve been helping figure this out. I’m the cause of this. But I am also the solution to a problem I have caused and will inevitably resolve. Am I in a paradoxical loop where I endlessly generate a problem and try to solve it like a snake devouring its own tail in order to satiate its hunger?!?!**

“Damn, Logic got real dark,  _ real  _ fast. I think we would have gotten along well,” Remus says thoughtfully. 

**[Thomas]: OKAY, calm down time. It’s a lot simpler than… whatever you’re trying to say.**

**[Anxiety]: That was dark, even for me.**

**[Thomas]: Yes, I may have slipped up by not having you, Logic, help me plan ahead to avoid this situation. So many times, I finish a project at 4 in the morning, my eyes tired, my brain exhausted, and I’m so proud of myself for doing so, I develop this faulty logic that I can tackle all my projects like that. But that is such a harmful habit to get into. I could’ve planned ahead, working at intervals, and taking breaks in order to keep my spirits up. I could have gone to another more productive location with less distractions like a library might’ve helped me brainstorm and get a little more creative. And a proper plan to address a big project would definitely cut down a lot of the nervousness I feel when starting it.**

**[Anxiety]: But not completely.**

**[Thomas]: Shush. And make a face of agreement like everyone else.**

Remus and Janus immediately burst out laughing at the face Anxiety was making. It is nowhere near a “face of agreement,” and only the thumbs-up shows that he is, in any way, shape, or form, agreeing with anything Thomas says. 

**[Anxiety]: Mm-hmm...**

**[Thomas]: But don’t feel bad, we’ll do better next time. And like Morality said, we should be okay with forgiving ourselves because sometimes procrastination and mistakes happen.**

**[Morality]: Yeah! All that matters is that we put our noodles together and make a beautiful… uh… pasta salad.**

**[Logic]: You never suspect yourself… But okay! A plan shall be formulated for the next video, that is certain.**

**[Princey]: And look this video made itself!**

**[Anxiety]: And as usual, you are completely unnecessary.**

Virgil couldn’t resist that little jab. After all, they have Remus. Why do they need two Creativities?

**[Princey]: HOW DARE YOU SPEAK TO SIR SING-ALONG THAT WAY! See, now I gotta sink out all over again. Rude.**

**[Thomas]: I do wanna thank you two for helping me.**

**[Logic]: Another case closed! And it’s all thanks to a brilliant deduction... from Watson.**

**[Morality]: Who?**

**[Logic]: Never mind…**

**[Morality]: Alright, Logan! That’s funny, I could’ve sworn I had a dollar on me…**

“There it is. I was wondering when it was gonna happen,” Virgil says, pooping home quickly to grab a snack before the others call him in for the end scene and debrief. 

**[Thomas]: Why did he call you Logan?**

**[Logan]: That is my name.**

**[Thomas]: Your name is… Logan?**

**[Logan]: Yes. You didn’t think I was just logic, did you?**

**[Thomas]: ...Does that mean the others have names?**

**[Logan]: Thomas, can you keep it down? I’m trying to make a plan.**

**[Thomas]: Okaaay… Well, If you find yourselves lacking motivation or procrastinating, I hope you’re able to deduce the reasons behind it and you can use any of the ways we covered to fight against it. Do your best to plan ahead and until next time…Take it easy guys, gals, and non-binary pals! PEACE OUT!**

***end card***

**[Princey]: Wow, I felt like a side character in today’s video. That will not stand.**

**[Anxiety]: Who are you calling?**

**[Princey]: My agent, but I’ve forgotten my password, so it’s barred.**

**[Anxiety]: You mean locked?**

**[Princey]: Sure, locked.**

**[Logan]: SHERLOCCKKKK!!!!**

**[Morality]: AND WATSONNNN!!!!**

**[Anxiety]: Oh, for crying out loooud!!!!**

**[Princey]: Make it stoooop!!!!**

Back in the Light kitchen, Virgil is still trying to get the ringing out of his ears. Any sympathy he had for Logic had vanished. 

“Well, despite how that went, I think it was a successful video,” Logic says. 

“Yeah, we figured out the problem, and there wasn’t too much arguing! We did great!” Morality is bouncing excitedly, happy to have been an integral part of the video. 

“It was fine,” Anxiety says when they look to him. 

“I think it went well, but I am truly disappointed that I wasn’t featured as much as I should have been!” Roman protests.

“Careful, Princey, you are getting dangerously close to being too prideful,” Virgil can’t resist that little jab as he sinks out. 

“What does he mean?” he hears Morality say. 

“Horrible job with that, totally not sowing doubt there. I hate it,” Janus says as soon as Virgil pops home. 

“I loved that, V!” Remus literally jumps onto Virgil’s back from behind, only to get stabbed by one of Virgil’s knives, “Awwww, I knew you loved me! Can I keep it?”

“No, make your own, and don’t startle the paranoid one!” Virgil yells at him as he pries Remus off his back. 

“Alright, boys, let’s not calm down. I think it isn’t time for food, given that all of us have eaten today,” Janus herds them towards the kitchen, where they spend the rest of the day chilling together. None of them are used to being separated like this, even just for five to twenty minutes at a time, and having to see Virgil hated and ridiculed on screen is hell for the mama snake and clingy octopus. Both of them plan revenge, even more so than they had already planned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed!


	12. Sanders Sides Q&A

“This will be a test of your acting abilities, Virge, as today’s video is largely inscripted,” Remus explains. 

“And the others weren’t?” Virgil asks in disbelief.

“Technically, everyone knew their roles and the general topic of the video, but today you have to answer questions about yourselves, or, rather, your persona, so it will be a pretty interesting test,” Remus elaborates. 

“Bad luck,” Janus wishes him as they turn to the screen. 

**[Thomas]: Hey, for today's opener, I'm gonna try to do my best impression of the laughy, cry-ey emoji? Here we go.**

***drumroll as Thomas grunts, presumably in pain/effort***

**[Thomas]: -pop- AAAAAAAAAAA--**

***logo***

**[Thomas]: WHAT IS UP, EVERYBODY?! Now, it has been a while since the last one, so I thought it was about time for another Q&A!**

**[Morality]: Aww...**

**[Thomas]: What?**

**[Morality]: I really wanted to do something in this video...**

**[Thomas]: Morality, you were just in the last one. You played Watson.**

**[Morality]: That was forever ago...**

**[Thomas]: Last week?**

**[Prince]: ♪IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII--♪ 'm with Pouty McSpecs over here, and I didn't even get featured as much as HE did last time!**

“There’s the dramatic ass we all know and hate!” Remus exclaims. 

**[Thomas]: You're my creative side, people still love you! Don't worry.**

**[Prince]: Oh, I don't worry about that.**

**[Logan]: Maybe we can help you with something in order to make up for mistakes one might have made prior?**

**[Thomas]: Nah, Logic. Logan?**

“I bet you all dishes duty that there will be a question about our real names, and it will not get answered properly,” Virgil proposes.

“That’ssss not a sssssuckersss bet, and you don’t know it, little ssssssspider,” Janus hisses even as Remus takes the bet. 

**[Logan]: Correct.**

**[Thomas]: You're good! You made an honest mistake last week. And I'm feeling pretty good this week!**

**[Logan]: Dang. I mean, yaaay.**

**[Thomas]: Okay, how about this? I'll do a Q&A...**

**[Sides]: -groans of annoyance-**

**[Thomas]: ...with you guys!**

**[Prince]: HUZZAHHHH!!!**

**[Morality]: YAAAAY!!!**

**[Logan]: Satisfactory.**

**[Thomas]: Okay, I'm sending out the notification to get some questions, using the hashtag "#AskSandersSides". Here we go.**

**[Morality]: I've never been asked questions by your followers before!**

**[Logan & Prince]: Don't screw it up.**

“Ooooo, a bit of tension in paradise?” Janus asks rhetorically. 

**[Thomas]: Okay! First question goes to...**

**[Prince]: I'm ready. Go ahead.**

**[Thomas]: ... Logan!**

**[Prince]: Come again?**

**[Logan]: Really?**

**[Thomas]: What is your favorite book?**

**[Logan]: Ooh! The Murder of Roger Ackroyd by Agatha Christie. Phenomenal ending. The murderer was--**

“SPOILERS!” all three of them yell. Surprisingly, all of them enjoy reading, even Remus when he can stand to sit still. 

**[Thomas]: WHAAAT ARE YOU DOING?!**

**[Logan]: What? I'm providing valuable insight into the novel.**

**[Thomas]: Let's just move on to the next one...**

**[Prince]: I'm ready!**

**[Thomas]: This one's for Anxiety!**

“Here we go,” Virgil says in a sing-song voice as he disappears from the mindscape. 

**[Prince]: What?!**

**[Anxiety]: Whaaat...?**

**[Thomas]: Are you the same for everyone?**

**[Anxiety]: What is happening?**

**[Thomas]: It's a Q&A and there's a question for you.**

**[Anxiety]: Me??**

**[Prince]: Just answer it, so we can move on.**

**[Anxiety]: No, I'm not the same for everybody. I'm Thomas' anxiety. Everyone's works differently.**

**[Thomas]: Yeah, mine's just a little...heightened.**

**[Anxiety]: Exactly! Can I go?**

**[Thomas]: Nah, stick around.**

**[Anxiety]: You...never want me to stick around…**

Tell a little truth, sprinkle a little angst, paint yourself as the unwilling villain, as the scared child turned scary adult. 

**[Prince]: NEXT ONE!**

**[Thomas]: Morality!**

**[Prince]: MOTHER F--**

**[Morality]: --FATHER! NOW YOU!**

**[Logan]: BROTHER! I love word association games.**

**[Thomas]: Morality! What is your favorite dad joke?**

**[Morality]: OOH! A-Ah...Why do flamingos sleep with one leg up?**

**[Logan]: Oh! It's a fascinating tactic. In order to preserve body heat, the--**

**[Morality]: 'Cause if they slept with both legs up, they would fall over!**

***Everyone but Logan laughs***

That one was good, even Virgil would admit it. 

**[Logan]: But that isn't...the reason...that they--**

**[Morality]: You know how birds fly in a V formation and a lot of times one side is longer than the other? Do you know why that is?**

**[Logan]: Possibly an evolutionary adaptation.**

**[Morality]: 'Cause there are more birds on that side!! **

***Again, everyone except Logan laughs.***

That was less good, but still frustrated Logic, so it was mildly funny. 

**[Logan]: Get me out of here, please. I need to leave.**

**[Morality]: Aw, what's the matter, Logan? Do your socks have holes in them?**

**[Logan]: No, they do not!**

**[Morality]: Then how'd ya get your feet in them?! -giggles-**

**[Logan]: -screams-**

That was decent, and Logic’s reaction made it even better. 

**[Thomas]: Princey!!**

**[Prince]: FINALLY!!!!! Okay, let's do this.**

**[Thomas]: Princey, do you have any fashion tips? Also, do you have a prince or princess that you are in love with?**

**[Prince]: Aah, all of my fashion advice comes from the best designer I know, Fairy Godmother. Ah, from rags to riches, she's the baddest of--*Air horn sound***

“Gotta keep it family friendly!” Remus says. 

“No, and any video that you are in won’t be a nightmare to edit,” Janus points out. 

**[Prince]: Sorry, that was my phone. AND she sings the whole time! It's a magical experience.**

**[Morality]: Bippity Boppity Boo-yah! -giggle-**

**[Logan]: That's one of those outbursts we internalize.**

**[Prince]: And as for love, I am currently between princes and princesses. I am on a solo quest to help save...myself, for right now.**

**[Thomas]: Good for you, buddy. Alright! Let's try some group questions. First off, how are you feeling right now?**

**[Morality]: GOOOOO--**

**[Thomas]: Answer with only a song title.**

**[Morality]: Oh...**

**[Logan]: Comfortably Numb (by Pink Floyd)**

**[Prince]: All I Do Is Win (by DJ Khaled)**

**[Anxiety]: I’m Not Okay, I Promise (by My Chemical Romance)**

Gotta keep the emo act. 

**[Morality]: I Am the Walrus (by The Beatles)**

**[Logan]: What?**

**[Prince]: It- It was "how do you FEEL?"**

**[Morality]: (mumbling) I am the walrus.**

**[Thomas]: Which Pokémon would you be?**

**[Morality]: Togepi!**

**[Logan]: Alakazam.**

**[Anxiety]: Haunter.**

**[Prince]: Jigglypuff!**

**[Thomas]: I would not have pegged you for that one.**

**[Prince]: Their singing was under-appreciated too! We would go on to perform the BEST DUETS IN ALL THE LAND!!!**

**[Thomas]: Beautiful. Alright, here's a fun one! If you all had your own YouTube channels, what would their content be?**

**[Logan]: Videos analyzing the themes and pointing out inconsistencies in TV shows, movies, and comic books.**

**[Prince]: Epic fail compilations! Of all the horrible deaths my enemies incur after I impale them.**

“I’m not sure what that means,” Remus blinks in confusion. 

**[Anxiety]: I would make a bunch of videos about conspiracies and cryptids.**

**[Thomas]: Oh, good! You'll be keeping me up even later.**

**[Anxiety]: It's the one thing I'm good at.**

**[Morality]: My channel would have videos of me playing with goo and mixing paint!**

**[Logan]: Oh! Autonomous sensory meridian response videos!**

**[Morality]: Eh, I'm pretty sure it’s just me playing with goo and paint.**

**[Thomas]: That definitely would entertain some people.**

“Mine would be videos about icky fun stuff, and you would have a snake vlog!” Remus declares. Janus actually agrees. He likes snakes better than people, and has a ton of them in his room, venomous and not. Sometimes, cuddle parties are held in the snake pit. 

**[Logan]: Yup.**

**[Thomas]: Okay... Fire, air, water, and earth bender. Who would get what element?**

**[Prince]: Fire!**

**[Morality]: Because of your fiery passion.**

**[Logan]: Earth.**

**[Morality]: Because you're so grounded.**

**[Anxiety]: Hmm, water.**

**[Morality]: Because you're so deep and mysterious!**

**[Prince]: And you're a wet blanket.**

**[Morality]: And I would bend air.**

**[Logan]: Because you're an airhead.**

“That wasn’t a good one,” Janus snickers.

**[Morality]: Now, I know you intended to hurt my feelings… but I am just so darn proud of you that you made a DAD JOKE!!!**

**[Logan]: Oh, shhhhh--**

**[Thomas]: Favorite social media?**

**[Morality]: Facebook!**

**[Prince]: Instagram!**

**[Logan]: LinkedIn.**

**[Anxiety]: Tumblr. I also still maintain my MySpace page. It'll bounce back.**

He was lying about the MySpace page, but Virgil did actually have a Tumblr, and he is in a variety of fandoms, including the Sanders Sides fandom, just to keep an eye on them. Never know when they might turn on Thomas. 

**[Thomas]: Morality, repeat after me: ADULTHOOD.**

**[Morality]: Adulthood.**

**[Thomas]: A. DULT. HOOD.**

**[Morality]: A. DULT. HOOD.**

**[Thomas]: Awesome.**

**[Logan]: Name the process of becoming an adult.**

**[Morality]: Adultery!**

**[Thomas]: N-No.**

**[Logan]: "Adult"? More like "a dolt."**

“Am I sensing some friction between Logic and Morality?” Remus asks in disbelief, “We could use this, maybe, if I’m reading this right.”

**[Morality]: That stings a little bit, but you're on fire today!**

**[Thomas]: What do you do to relax after a long day?**

**[Prince]: Dramatically serenade myself in the mirror.**

**[Logan]: Puzzles.**

**[Morality]: Eat a cookie! And when I'm feeling dangerous… (whispers) eat a second cookie.**

**[Anxiety]: I usually go and sit on a surface that isn't meant to be sat on. Because when tomorrow comes, I will be faced with even more challenges. And I am too overwhelmed to be worrying about what "is" and "is not" a chair.**

Virgil actually does do this sometimes, but Remus and Janus usually help talk through his worries about the challenges and tell him which ones need to go to Thomas for attention, which ones could go to Thomas, and which ones Remus could use for nightmare fuel. 

**[Thomas]: Anxiety, I WAS feelin' good today, man.**

**[Morality]: ANOTHER!!**

**[Thomas]: Ok! Uh... What was-- ...my most embarrassing moment.**

**[Logan]: Nice try, but we will not be disclosing that information.**

**[Prince]: Your honor means everything.**

**[Anxiety]: Ahh, I cause you to think about it too much as it is, so I'll cut you some slack.**

“Nobody loves a villain with a heart,” Janus remarks proudly. His little spiderling is brilliant at acting. 

**[Thomas]: Oh...thank you, gu--**

**[Morality]: HE PEED HIS PANTS DURING HIS ELEMENTARY SCHOOL CHORUS CONCERT! -snort-**

**[Thomas]: Wow.**

**[Prince]: You screwed it up. Man.**

**[Logan]: You always screw it up.**

**[Anxiety]: Well...**

**[Morality]: (giggly) It's kinda funny when you think about it! Like...he peed his pants!**

**[Thomas]: Favorite bands.**

**[Anxiety]: Evanescence.**

“Is that true?” Remus asks curiously.

“No, it isn’t. He doesn’t listen to it all the time, though he also doesn’t listen to Welcome to Night Vale. That is a band, though, so he could use it for this question,” Janus explains. All three of them enjoy Welcome to Night Vale, though each for different reasons. 

**[Logan]: Podcasts.**

**[Prince]: Beyoncé! She's royalty.**

**[Morality]: I basically just listen to the Campfire Song Song from SpongeBob on repeat.**

**[Thomas]: Alright, well only one of you named a band...**

**[Anxiety]: -clicks tongue-**

**[Thomas]: Anxiety, can you say one nice thing about all of us?**

“He won’t do it! They’ll all be backhanded compliments at best, and I hope we get to hear what he really thinks,” Remus says, projecting just a bit so that Virgil could hear him. 

**[Anxiety]: Oh, brother...ok, *soft music plays* Dad. You make Logic furious. And that is fun to watch...Even though you're a clueless moron the rest of the time.**

I want to to hurt the way you hurt me and my family. I want you to know what it feels like to be cast out without a name for doing your job. I want you to feel what you did to me, and I want it to last for as long as it did for me and the others. 

**[Morality]: Aw, ok.**

**[Anxiety]: Logic, you understand reality better than the other two, and that is very comforting...But you are still a clueless moron most of the time.**

You stood by and did nothing while we were banished. You may have argued a bit for some of us, but you just gave up. You may have been scared, but you could have stopped it if you had really tried, and you know it. 

**[Logan]: How dare you.**

**[Anxiety]: Prince. I gotta say...you do impress me. *music stops* ...By being a clueless moron ALL the time.**

You shun your own brother, he who was you, once, you side with the one who split you apart, and you are the most obviously cruel of the three. You hurt Remus, my partner, who I am closer to than you are, and I hope you burn for it. 

**[Prince]: Well that wasn't remotely nice.**

**[Anxiety]: And Thomas.**

**[Thomas]: Spare me the compliment.**

I can’t be truly mad at you, as you are the reason we exist, and you didn’t even know about me until recently. You don’t know about the others, but you are willfully blind. Oh, well, we’ll fix that, won’t we?

**[Anxiety]: Cool.**

**[Thomas]: Logic, Spock or Data and why?**

**[Logan]: Data. Spock is half-human, whereas Data is a Soong-type android. No chance for icky, complicated, human emotions. For lack of a better word... mmm... "duh".**

**[Thomas]: Well then, let's get a little more interesting. What are all your real names?!**

Remus leans forward, wanting to see if he will lose the bet. 

**[Morality]: Oh, like Logic's is Logan?**

**[Thomas]: Yes!**

**[Morality]: Aw, well shucks! You could've asked me sooner! My real name is--*Truck sound***

“Dammit,” Remus mutters, even as Virgil smirks lightly. 

**[Logan]: I'm sorry, that is my text tone.**

**[Morality]: But everyone just calls me dad!**

**[Prince]: And my name is-- *truck sound***

“No!” Remus shouts, jumping up from his seat. Virgil’s smirk grows, even as the camera pans over to him. 

**[Logan]: I am just gonna put this on silent.**

**[Anxiety]: And I'm… Not gonna tell you my real name. Because I don't have to.**

And, as far as the others are aware, I don’t have one. 

**[Thomas]: ...Well, that was thoroughly and utterly disappointing! Guess we'll all find out later. -clicks tongue- Next up: Which emoji best describes you all?**

**[Anxiety]: -clicks tongue- (devil emoji)**

**[Logan]: (pop) (robot emoji)**

**[Prince]: Hm. (star emoji)**

**[Morality]: Daaa! (dog emoji)**

**[Thomas]: What's your favorite Disney movie and could you sing something from it?**

**[Morality]: WINNIE THE POOH! ...Oh yeah. ♪Winnie the Pooh...♪**

**[Anxiety]: Black Cauldron. No songs. It's perfect.**

It actually is his favorite, but not for the lack of songs. Janus’ favorite is the Jungle Book because he really likes Kaa and has tried to replicate the hypnosis effect to great success. Remus’ favorite is Ratatouille, because he likes how gross the idea of rats in the kitchen is. Morality found rats in the kitchen for months after that movie came out. All three of them love Lilo and Stitch, for reasons that all will refuse to explain. 

**[Logan]: My favorite movie is Big Hero 6, and it contained the theme song "Immortals" by Fall Out Boy. I'm not much of a singer, so I shall recite the lyrics like a poem. -clears throat- "They say we are what we are". That's enough of that.**

**[Prince]: I can't choose amongst any of my darling babies! So, I’m just going to say that they're ALL my favorites and I am going to start singing the entire anthology starting with "Someday My Prince Will Come". -clears throat- ♪Some...♪**

**[Morality]: ♪BODY ONCE♪**

**[Thomas & Morality]: ♪Told me the world was gonna roll me!♪**

**[Anxiety]: Dude, yeah!**

**[Thomas, Morality, Anxiety & Logic]: ♪I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed!♪**

**[Prince]: YOU KNOW WHAT? I am done! I'm done here! I am done with all of you!**

Faintly, Virgil could hear Remus laughing his ass off (literally, as Janus’ shouts inform him). 

**[Logan]: Hmm. Some people cannot handle scrutiny.**

**[Thomas]: Logic, what was the biggest mistake you've made?**

**[Morality]: OHH, he misused the word "infinitesimal" last week!**

**[Logan]: Shut it!**

**[Morality]: He thought it meant really big, but it actually meant really small!**

“That’s Morality, alright, making huge fusses about little mistakes,” Remus sneers. 

**[Logan]: That was one time! How did you know what it meant?!**

**[Morality]: I know big words!**

**[Logan]: Welp! Morality corrected me today! Black is white, up is down, and I am going to go reevaluate my purpose.**

**[Thomas]: Well, we are starting to lose our interviewees.**

**[Anxiety]: I dunno, I'm actually kinda getting into this. Bring it on.**

**[Thomas]: Alright! If you had to kiss one of the others, who would you choose?**

**[Anxiety]: Aaaaaand I'm out.**

As he sunk out, Virgil let his eyes dart over to Creativity’s spot quickly. Thomas, the oblivious idiot, wouldn’t catch it, but the fans undoubtedly would. 

**[Thomas]: Aww...ok, well, Morality, looks like the last question is for you!**

**[Morality]: Oh boy! What is it?**

**[Thomas]: Do you know how cute you are?**

**[Morality]: Don't patronize me. I'M JUST KIDDING! AHHHH! THAT'S SO SWEET!**

**[Thomas]: Oh! Oh, heh...you really got me there.**

**[Morality]: Alright, I'm gonna go eat a cookie! I've earned a couple today.**

**[Thomas]: Yeah! I probably will too… Well, I hope this helped you get to know the different facets of my personality a little bit better! They are an eclectic bunch. And hopefully, we get to learn a little bit more about them in videos to come! And until next time, take it easy, guys, gals and non-binary pals. Peace out!**

***new scene***

**Hold up! Before we go to the end card, I wanna let you know I'm still hearing from you all to see where you want me to go in Europe! So, if you haven't submitted yet, please go to the link right here, or click the link in the description.**

***end card***

**[Morality]: Aww, there's so much cool stuff they've done for us online, kiddos!**

**[Prince]: Oh yeah?**

**[Morality]: There's some really neato artwork of us all AND some writing as well! Say, what is a "ship"?**

**[Logan]: Seriously, Morality, you don't know what that is? It is a craft designed for water travel.**

**[Anxiety]: Even Prince knew that.**

Virgil smirks. Of course, he has a Tumblr, he knows exactly what a ship is, but it’s far more funny to let all of the others discover what it actually is for themselves. Who knows, maybe they’ll see some truly beautiful fanart of two of them in an… interesting position. Their screams of horror would fuel him for months.

**[Prince]: Yeah, even I knew that.**

**[Morality]: Oh, ok! It does not look like that, but ok.**

Sinking out to the common area of the main mindscape, Anxiety pulls up a chair, turns it around, and sits backwards, as a true gay should. Logic sits properly in a chair, perfect posture and feet flat on the ground. Morality sits with criss-crossed legs in his own chair, and Creativity lounges on his like a throne. This is the first time that Anxiety has sat down for a meeting. 

“So, what went well?” Logic asks, “I think that was particularly spontaneous, but well-formatted to allow viewers to learn as much about us as they wanted to.”

“Oh, who cares about that? I liked that we all got to showcase who we are!” Creativity says, talking over Logic slightly.

“I had a lot of fun learning about you guys!” Morality is literally bouncing in his seat, despite how impossible that seemed with crossed legs. 

“It was cool that we didn’t have to half-memorize a script for this video,” Anxiety says quietly. They had scripts for each video, but they only had to be familiar with the issue and their general side, so that no one got too off-topic. 

“Alright, what did not go as well? I think we should have vetted the questions more carefully, to ensure that none of them were out of anyone’s comfort zones,” Logic offers.

“I wasn’t the first question! What was up with that?” Creativity cries, self-absorbed as always. 

“I wish we had gotten to telling Thomas our real names,” Morality pouts. 

“I agree with the comfort zone thing,” Anxiety says loud enough that only Logic can hear. 

“Thank you, Anxiety. Now, onto…” Anxiety tunes out, answering when required, but otherwise just watching. Watching the others and their interactions, and slowly blending into the background, getting the others used to his presence, his constant watchfulness. 

“What are you looking at, villain?” Creativity asks aggressively when he notices Anxiety staring. Anxiety’s eyes unsettle him, one a vibrant purple and the other an emerald green, both seeming like they’re staring straight into his soul, and seeing all of the parts of himself that he wasn’t proud of, Pride being one of them. It also feels like he is being watched by more than the two heterochromatic eyes that Anxiety has visible. 

Without a word, Anxiety sinks out, expression blank. 

“What was that about?” Morality asks, confused. 

Back home, Virgil looks at Janus and Remus with the same blank expression he had from staring at Creativity, then falls to the floor, howling with laughter, fangs flashing. Having seen the whole thing, both Janus and Remus are already giggling when Virgil pops in, but lose it as soon as he does. 

“Oh, if my dear brother has an animal form, it will be a prey animal for sure! Unnerved by the stare of a predator!” Remus laughs, setting them all off again. 

“Princey is definitely not a horse,” Janus bets.

“No, no, a frog,” Virgil refutes, starting them all laughing again, “He has to be small enough to be properly unnerved by a spider.”

With that, the Shadow family have a full family meeting once they stop laughing, explaining what has been happening. All are excited, and fully on board, especially if it means revenge. 

Elsewhere, a star begins to doubt. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed!
> 
> What do ya'll think the lights would have as an animal form? Both in the context of this story and in canon, if you want.   
For canon, I always thought Patton would be a puppy, Roman a horse, maybe a lion, and Logan an owl. In this story, though, they are a bit different than canon, so I'm not sure. Now taking ideas for light sides' animal forms, though, as I do plan on using them at some point in the story.


	13. Am I ORIGINAL?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about that, ya'll, I had two group projects to work on yesterday and forgot. Have a chapter!

“It’s time to hint at the existence of another ‘dark side,’” Virgil says, smiling menacingly.

“Indeed, Remus’ existence will not show itself through Roman’s incompetence,” Janus agrees, fangs flashing. Remus just grins, hair askew. It is a bit of a bad day for Remus, they all have them. For Remus, the intrusive thoughts and ideas overwhelm him and often burst out, whether he blurts it out or it manifests itself. 

**[Thomas]: So, a lot of people ask me how I do what I do. Well, I don't know, all I can tell you is it all comes from right up here… I have a rat that hides in my hair and directs my every move just like in the movie Ratatouille.**

***logo***

**[Thomas]: WHAT IS UP, EVERYBODY?! Today, I thought we might try something a little bit new and exciting, I think you're all going to enjoy this, I am going to tell you my life's story, BUT I'm gonna do it through illustrations! And I'm calling it… *pop* "Sketch My Autobiography".**

**[Anxiety]: Please tell me you're joking.**

Never gonna be a good time if Anxiety is the first one to show up. 

**[Thomas]: Ugh, what, Anxiety, what do you have to say now?**

**[Anxiety]: That's literally a copy of what is known as a "Draw my Life". You just slapped a different name onto it.**

**[Thomas]: Ohh, I thought it felt familiar. Okay, well I'll j- I'll just call it a Draw my Life.**

**[Anxiety]: Boring.**

**[Thomas]: What do you mean "Boring?" It's my life!**

**[Anxiety]: I know what I said.**

**[Thomas]: -noise of strong disapproval-**

While Thomas’ life wasn’t and isn’t boring, by any definition of the word, Paranoia is a very private side, and prefers it when Thomas is, too. 

**[Anxiety]: And on top of that, do you reeeally want to make something that's been done before? Do you think that's what THEY want to see?**

**[Thomas]: Well... I don't know...**

**[Anxiety]: I'm gonna go ahead and say no.**

**[Thomas]: Unh, why are you being like this? You were so chill the last couple of videos...**

**[Anxiety]: Sometimes I just gotta be me...nuh. (sounds like mean)**

Anxiety fluctuates based on surroundings and situations. So does Paranoia, but usually to a greater extreme, and has a much higher “lowest setting” than Anxiety does.

**[Thomas]: UGHHH... I wanna be mad, but you're right, the idea is not original.**

**[Anxiety]: No.**

**[Thomas]: -makes noise of frustration- What am I gonna do now?**

**[Anxiety]: One option- and I'm just throwing this out there, is to... hide under the covers until the sun goes away.**

To be fair, Thomas had been so busy these last few weeks that he barely had enough time to get enough sleep. Too much was happening all at once, even if they were small things. 

**[Princey]: Not so fast, my chemically imbalanced romance!**

**[Thomas]: PRINCEY!**

**[Anxiety]: Oh good... Prince Underarms-stink.**

**[Thomas]: That is an uncharacteristically schoolyard insult, Anxiety.**

**[Princey]: Yeah, that was hardly inventive.**

**[Anxiety]: Creativity is not my department.**

But neither is it entirely Princey’s. 

**[Princey]: So Negative Nancy over here struck down the idea I gave you, is that correct?**

**[Thomas]: I think so.**

**[Anxiety]: Chalk one up for me.**

Remus obligingly conjures up a chalkboard and runs his finger down it, leaving a mark for Virgil. As soon as Janus sees the chalkboard, he puts in earplugs. Virgil is not so lucky. 

**[Princey]: I'm gonna need you to be REAL quiet right now because you just earned the number one slot in my dun-zo list today.**

**[Anxiety]: Dun-zo list?**

**[Princey]: We're dun-zo.**

**[Thomas]: -looks at Princey oddly-**

“Oooo, looks like my dumbass of a brother is taking Virgey’s bait on this,” Remus’ sing-song tone causes a large pile of fishing rods with large fish to appear in the shadow mindscape, which Janus immediately vanishes with the air of years of practice. Remus’ pout and puppy-dog eyes do nothing for him, especially not the eyes. Seriously, where did he get those?

**[Princey]: Okay, Thomas, that idea may not have made the grade but, never fear! Your CREATIVITY is here!**

**[Thomas]: You think we can come up with something that's new AND exciting?**

**[Princey]: Of course, I can! I've always been here, fighting for you! Your happiness is my mission! Do you trust me?**

**[Thomas]: What?**

**[Princey]: Do you trust me?**

**[Thomas]: I don't know...**

**[Princey]: SEE! Why not? You have kept me in the backseat for the past two Sanders Sides videos and that is criminal! You try to create art, but you shackle your creativity.**

**[Thomas]: Oh, I don't think that's fair, you were always there playing a role.**

**[Princey]: A ROLE?! I am not some bread roll to hold you over while you wait for your dinner! I am the main course!**

Remus conjures up some bread in the shape of Roman, sash and all, puts it into some manacles, and starts stabbing it while cackling maniacally. Janus didn’t do anything to stop him. It wouldn’t help, and would just make Remus’ twitches worse. 

**[Anxiety]: Oy...**

**[Princey]: I ask you this Thomas, allow me the chance to really prove myself! Grant me full creative control!**

**[Thomas]: ...You're my creativity. You have all the creative control.**

**[Anxiety]: No, he is talking about full-on "daydream mode," La La Land.**

Doing this would greatly increase Remus’ current power as well, which is not the best thing for him on a bad day. 

**[Princey]: Not the time for movie references! But yes, precisely.**

**[Thomas]: Oh. Uhhhh. I don't-**

**[Princey]: If you trust me to handle this, I will be unimpeded. It will be an all-out BRAINSTORMING EXTRAVAGANZA!**

**[Thomas]: Well, if it can get us that idea...**

**[Princey]: (makes claw hands) Pew, pew. Brainstormmm.**

**[Thomas]: All right, let's do it.**

**[Princey]: YEEEESSSS!**

**[Anxiety]: Oh, come on!**

“Janus, get ready, this is gonna get real bad real fast,” Virgil whispers to the mindscape. Janus nods even though Virgil can’t see him, gets all of his six arms out and gets ready to banish all of Remus’ creations as they come. 

**[Princey]: First, we're gonna need all the players, so… LOGIC! *hmph* MORALITY! *fwooh* Now we're ready.**

**[Logan]: I'm confused.**

**[Thomas]: Let me bring you up to speed, I gave Princey a little bit more creative control so that we can drum up a good idea for the video.**

**[Logan]: Wait- that means this is "daydream mode"!? Why am I here? I play no part in this.**

**[Princey]: Sucks, does it not?**

**[Morality]: Well I'm just glad that when you called me, I had my pants on. *looks down*...No, I don't.**

He is actually wearing a kilt. 

**[Thomas]: Uh-oh.**

**[Princey]: OH- I'm so sorry.**

**[Morality]: I'll be right back.**

**[Princey]: Since I'm calling the shots, I need you and Morality and even "Jason Toddler" over there, to assist me.**

**[Anxiety]: I don't agree to this.**

**[Princey]: Too bad. Alright, LET US-**

**[Morality]: Got my pants!**

**[Princey]: -BEGIN! Now, the video could use a little change of pace, maybe a different format. What's hot with the kids these days?**

**[Morality]: KNIVES!**

It is raining knives. Janus just conjures a shield and lets Remus begin to wear himself out. 

**[Thomas]: ... What?**

**[Morality]: They use hot knives! To cut things.**

**[Princey]: Oh- What?**

**[Thomas]: Oh, my, wow.**

**[Morality]: Yeah, the stuff is on fire, and the knife is GLOWING RED.**

The knives are now on fire, and almost breaking through Janus’ barrier. 

**[Princey]: I'm glad you brought up something that has already been done, because THAT is a good example… of a horrible suggestion.**

The knife-rain stops. 

**[Morality]: Oh...**

**[Princey]: We are going for "pure originality"**

**[Logan]: Um, do you understand how rare that is?**

**[Princey]: Shhhhhhhhhh...**

**[Thomas]: Shhhhh…**

Suddenly, there are a bunch of brains with mouths in the mindscape, all of them with their mouths duct taped shut. Janus just sighs and waits it out. 

**[Princey]: But maybe we don't need to know what's popular with the kids these days. Maybe, THAT'S all part of the fun! Perhaps, we can be sat down, and introduced to these new and zany crazes and the viewers would get to see our first responses upon seeing them!**

***new scene* (studio similar to kids react)**

**[Morality]: What is going on here?**

**[Logan]: They appear to be transferring yogurt from one person's mouth to the other, via straw.**

Two of Thomas’ friends, Janus didn’t care to identify who, appear in the mindscape vomiting yogurt at each other. Janus just cleans up whatever gets on the floor. 

**[Princey]: OH! I've heard of this before! It's called "yogurt-ing". -laughs- I've actually tried this myself.**

**[Anxiety]: Is this why Princey spit yogurt at me yesterday?**

**[Morality]: Wait a second!**

***end scene* (back to Thomas’ living room) **

**[Morality]:That's Kids React!**

**[Thomas]: Yep. That was definitely Kids React from the Fine Bros channel. I was in a few of their videos!**

**[Logan]: Not to mention the countless other reaction channels and the fact that Thomas has already done several reaction videos himself.**

**[Princey]: Are you serious?**

**[Logan]: I'm always serious. Clearly. I wear a necktie.**

**[Morality]: Serious people wear neckties.**

The yogurt vomit stops, and now there are millions of ties of all kinds, colors, patterns, and fabrics flooding the room.

“Well, it’s worse than the knives or yogurt,” Janus shrugs and lies down on a pile of ties. They’re really soft. 

**[Thomas]: Okay, well I think you're onto something with the changing format. I DID like that.**

**[Anxiety]: Don't encourage him.**

**[Princey]: NO. DO encourage me! I am heading this all up. Right now, I wear the pants in this household.**

All the ties except what Janus is lying on turn into pants, then disappear. 

**[Morality]: Oh, you do? I didn't know that.**

**[Logan]: No, no, no, no, don't-**

**[Thomas]: It's an expression.**

**[Princey]: Okay, so the viewers like it when you talk to the different aspects of your personality. BUT… What if those aspects got to talk directly to the viewer about what they're really thinking?**

**[Thomas]: Hm...**

**[Morality]: Oooohh!**

**[Princey]: Anytime one of us needed to talk directly to the viewer, it would cut to us, in a separate confessional. And it could be done in sort of a quirky, off the cuff, let me just make up a word right now, mockumentary fashion.**

**[Logan]: T-That's...**

**[Anxiety]: The Office.**

**[Thomas]: That's The Office.**

**[Morality]: And Parks and Recreation. And Modern Family. And the British version of The Office.**

Characters from all of the mentioned shows appear in the mindscape, then are killed in brutal ways while Remus sits, captivated by the screen. Daydream mode means that Remus doesn’t need to move, and often doesn’t. He describes it as complete and utter dissociation. 

***office style cut away***

**[Princey]: I knew it was already a thing. I love The Office. And I love Parks and Rec. I referenced to it earlier with the whole Dun-zo list thing. But come on! I am trying here! I think sometimes people are really mean to the hot, popular persona. Especially Anxiety. He is being a real-**

**[Thomas]: Are you really doing a cutaway right now?**

***end cut away***

**[Princey]: I'm sorry, I just had to try it out.**

**[Thomas]: It's fine, we're just on a time limit.**

**[Anxiety]: What were you saying over there?**

Virgil knows exactly what he was saying, he just wants to draw Creativity out into trapping himself with his own words. 

**[Princey]: Nothing!**

**[Logan]: Alright, well. Do you have an original idea yet? Since that was what you were so keen on.**

**[Princey]: I'm getting to it, Logan!**

**[Logan]: This is what we get for making him the leader.**

**[Princey]: What is with your attitude?**

**[Logan]: I am simply positing that if you sanction some input from the rest of us-**

**[Princey]: No! I am in charge! This is Daydream mode!**

**[Morality]: Come on now, Slugger. No need for fighting.**

**[Princey]: Wait. That's it. FIGHTING!**

All of the Shadows weapons appear in the mindscape, as if summoned by the idea of a fight. Janus quickly snatches his whip and net and realizes that they are just copies of his actual weapons, which are still on his person. 

**[Thomas]: Wha- I- We all know I am not a fighter.**

**[Morality]: You're a lover.**

**[Thomas]: S-Sure.**

**[Morality]: He doesn't make hate, he makes LOVE!**

**[Thomas]: Okay, um...**

**[Princey]: I'm not saying that we fight physically. Although I certainly would win.**

**[Anxiety]: Ugh.**

**[Princey]: I'm proposing that we fight VERBALLY!**

All the weapons change to pieces of paper with creative and disturbing insults on them. Janus’ favorite is a simple “Rogue, thou hast liv'd too long.” He thinks it’s from a Shakespeare play, but he isn’t sure which one. Flipping the page over, he sees “Antony and Cleopatra.” That must be the play, then. 

**[Thomas]: How is that better?**

**[Morality]: That also sounds not good.**

**[Princey]: Oh, I'm talking about lyrical dueling.**

**[Morality]: Oh, like in 8 Mile!**

**[Princey]: Yes!**

**[Anxiety]: How do you know about 8 Mile?**

**[Princey]: Logic! How about it?**

**[Logan]: Well...**

**[Princey]: Too bad! You're doing it.*Muffled shouting***

***music starts***

**[Joan]: AGGRESSIVE BOUTS OF BEAT POETRY: LOGAN VS. PRINCEY GO!**

**[Princey]: Ladies, Lords, and Non-Binary Royalty**

**Watch me as I beat this geek**

**and do it joyously**

**I'll vanquish any villain**

**with the gall to try to toy with me**

**Ask the Dragon Witch--**

**She knows the drill**

**You're screwed royally**

**[Logan]: Stricken with clairvoyancy**

**Events occurred as I'd foreseen**

**Your verse was weak**

**Your rapping stinks**

**Flamboyantly employing these**

**Trisyllabic rhymes**

**PSSH! I can match that easily.**

**I'll beat you every time**

**So you do not want beef with me, Princey...**

**I drown out lesser emcees when I flow**

**There's no avoiding me...**

**Under pressure, I rise up--**

**Holler at your buoyancy!**

**(Morality: Woo!)**

**Diadems are worn on Capita.**

**I had this battle on lock like Attica!**

**You're through. Go home, Princey.**

**Pack it up.**

**I claimed to be the better bard**

**And I backed it up!**

***end music***

Everything in the mindscape stops. Both Remus and Janus are too shocked to do anything, even Remus to conjure anything. Somehow, this turn of events had actually shocked Remus out of his bad-day dissociation. 

**[Thomas]: Wow.**

**[Princey]: Wher-where did that come from?**

**[Logan]: I have an appreciation for poetry.**

**[Morality]: Ahhhhh!**

**[Anxiety]: Well, it would be an opportunity missed not to acknowledge that there is an actual rapper named Logic, and that was surprising.**

**[Thomas]: Yeah...**

**[Anxiety]: But, that was clearly just a copy of Epic Rap Battles of History.**

Always pointing out the problems, that’s Anxiety. Solving problems is an accident. 

**[Logan]: Yes, I was going to point that out. But I didn't want to miss this opportunity.**

**[Morality]: Gee, Teach you really SCHOOLED him!**

**[Logan]: And you're next, I have just decided.**

**[Princey]: Ugh! You're right, it's been done!**

**[Morality]: Oh, come on. I mean, you lost, but that was still fun to watch!**

**[Anxiety]: If it's not original, haven't we all lost?**

“Technically, yes, as the goal wasn’t to create something totally original,” Janus comments, Remus nodding in agreement. 

**[Thomas]: Play nice.**

**[Logan]: It's not original, that's a fact. There is already a channel dedicated to exclusively creating battle rap content.**

**[Princey]: Alright, do you have a better idea?**

**[Logan]: Well- *changes into Sherlock outfit***

**[Princey]: Nope! You already did that in the motivation video! And that is based on Sherlock!**

**[Logan]: *changes back* Darn.**

**[Princey]: See? It's not so easy, you commoners.**

**[Morality]: Okay, well maybe we can go off what is fun for you, Thomas. What do you enjoy doing?**

**[Thomas]: I mean, video games.**

**[Princey]: Video games? Of course. It's so simple. I can't believe I haven't thought of it before. You can just, record yourself playing video games and making silly commentary like so:**

***new scene* (gameplay of Goat Simulator with Morality’s face-cam in the corner)**

**[Morality]: Alright, kids! Welcome back. In today's video, I'll be taking on a little silly game involving a... goat? -giggles- Who comes up with this stuff? Oh… Wow, I am ba-a-a-a-d at this game. That was a sheep.**

***end scene***

“To be fair, Let’s Plays with each of the sides playing different games according to their own style could be interesting,” Remus says. He must be feeling better, Janus notes, as he usually doesn’t talk at all on bad days. 

**[Thomas]: Stop.**

**[Morality]: Aww...**

**[Princey]: Oh, don't tell me...**

**[Thomas]: Yeah, that's kind of a thing too.**

**[Anxiety]: Let's plays.**

**[Logan]: Some of the most popular Youtubers do let's plays.**

**[Morality]: Well then maybe we should join in the fun!**

**[Princey]: No! It has to be original!**

**[Anxiety]: You tried, you failed, let's go to sleep.**

“Mood,” they comment at the same time. 

**[Thomas]: It's 2 p.m.**

**[Princey]: NO! Okay. You like pizza so we could be a group of crime-fighting pizza lovers.**

**[Morality]: I do like pizza!**

**[Princey]: Huh? Huh?**

**[Thomas]: Pretty sure that is Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.**

**[Anxiety]: I hate this.**

**[Logan]: Accurate.**

**[Morality]: Booyakasha.**

**[Princey]: Ugh! And you're all in character for it too. Okay. How about music that we could lip-sync to?**

***new scene***

**[Princey]: ♪ They're lies lies lies lies lies... ♪**

***end scene***

**[Thomas]: No!**

**[Anxiety]: That was a Musical.ly and I'm so upset that I know that.**

He only knew what a Musical.ly was because Remus wouldn’t stop making them. The dumb octopus was and is obsessed with that app. 

**[Morality]: I am downloading that app, right now.**

**[Princey]: Fine! How about six-second looping vide-oh no.**

**[All]: Oooh…**

“Not too ssssoon,” Janus hisses. All of the sides had liked Vine, and everyone was upset when it died. 

**[Logan]: It's too soon.**

**[Anxiety]: Princey, you are done. Give it up.**

**[Princey]: Quiet, you... Jerky-McJerk... face. Argh, I'm too busy brainstorming to think of a harmful nickname.**

**[Thomas]: Princey, calm down.**

**[Princey]: No! If I can't think of an original idea, what would you think of me? I can't… let you down.**

**[Thomas]: Princey, you could never let me down.**

**[Princey]: No?**

**[Anxiety]: No?**

“No?” Remus asks. 

**[Thomas]: No! Those ideas may not have been original, but I had fun watching you all do them.**

**[Morality]: That's what I was trying to say. You shouldn't stress over originality, just think of it as doing what you want to do in your own unique way.**

**[Thomas]: Yeah, I mean, If I try to be totally original, each and every video, I'm gonna drive myself up the wall.**

**[Anxiety]: But if it's not original, it's a copy.**

Can’t be too nice just because it isn’t his episode to have fun with. After all, this is Creativity’s naming video, so it is primarily focused on him. 

**[Thomas]: An imperfect copy. And the imperfections are what would make the content unique. We can learn and be inspired by others to create our own content.**

**[Logan]: Very much like how you're harkening back to Mark Earls' speech on originality right now.**

**[Thomas]: Astute.**

**[Morality]: Just remember, it's okay to be inspired by others. It's just not okay to plagiarize.**

**[Logan]: It's like W.H. Davenport Adams said that "Great poets imitate and improve, whereas small ones steal and spoil."**

**[Anxiety]: Oh, so you're on board with them now?**

**[Logan]: Well, I've always had my doubts on creating something entirely original, but I'm no defeatist.**

A little friction between Anxiety and his only ally will help set up the next video nicely. 

**[Thomas]: So Princey, it's true, you can't make an exact replica. But, you know, if you wanted to evolve an idea or put your own spin on something, that's alright.**

**[Princey]: Thanks, everyone. Well, almost everyone.**

**[Thomas]: I just have to stop doubting myself so much.**

And with that, Anxiety sinks out, back to the Shadow mindscape for now to watch the rest of the video. 

**[Logan]: You got this, buddy!**

**[Morality]: Yeah!**

**[Logan]: Or you don't. It could go one of two ways.**

**[Morality]: Yeah...**

**[Princey]: Thank you. I suppose.**

**[Thomas]: You do have this.**

**[Princey]: Um.**

**[Thomas]: What's wrong, buddy?**

**[Princey]: It's just... I only ever pushed you toward your dreams, Thomas. And I never say a bad word about you. Why don't you want to listen to me more? This whole thing could've been avoided if you did.**

**[Thomas]: Oh, Princey... I-**

**[Princey]: Roman.**

“I thought he was gonna go for something more dramatic,” Remus says, surprising Virgil. Virgil had noticed that the mindscape was cleaner than he was expecting, given that it is one of Remus’ bad days, but for Remus to talk on a bad day is unheard-of. 

“We weren’t so shocked by Logic’s rapping that Remus didn’t snap out of his dissociation,” Janus sees the look Virgil gives Remus and explains, “but it wasn’t hectic before that point.”

**[Thomas]: Roman?**

**[Roman]: That's my proper name.**

**[Thomas]: Oh!**

**[Roman]: It felt weird, you calling me Princey when it's serious talk time.**

**[Thomas]: Oh, well, Roman, you are so important to me. I genuinely don't know what I would do without you. You have gotten me through some of my roughest days. But I need the other guys too. If I only ever listened to my most wonderful, romantic, fanciful thoughts… I'd be setting myself up for heartbreak. **

“That’s what I’m here for,” Remus twirls. Looks like he’s getting over whatever made today a bad day. 

**[Roman]: Alright, Thomas. I understand. I guess.**

**[Thomas]: But like I said, I will make an effort to listen to you more. That Draw My Life was a good idea. I may still do it. Come on.**

**[Roman]: I guess I'll see you when you need me.**

**[Thomas]: Hey, Roman?**

**[Roman]: Yes?**

**[Thomas]: You're my hero. And I hope that you all continue to be inspired by this wonderful world to create your own amazing pieces of art. If you're creating with your own honest voice, then that's all the originality you need. Until next time, Take it easy guys, gals and non-binary pals. PEACE OUT!**

***end card***

**[Roman]: Well, there is one thing I think we can all be thankful for, you guys.**

**[Logan]: Oh yeah? What is that?**

**[Roman]: You can't get any more unique than all of us.**

**[Morality]: That's right, Roman.**

**[Roman]: (Confidently laughs)**

***cutaway office style***

**[Morality]: I didn't wanna admit I was a bit confused by that. He's such a big Disney fan, I would've thought he'd see how similar we are to the concept of Inside Out-**

***end cutaway***

**[Roman]: WHAT!? Oh my-**

**[Morality]: You think he heard me?**

**[Roman]: MY LIFE IS A LIE!**

Back in the main kitchen, Creativity, Morality and Logic are waiting for Anxiety to pop in for the debrief. Little did they know, Virgil is already there, a little spider on the wall. 

“Anxiety appears to be late. Perhaps we should start without him?” Logic suggests. Morality shrugs happily and Creativity scoffs. 

“Why do we even invite him in the first place? He never contributes anything helpful,” Creativity asks in a hostile tone.

“Now, Roman, be nice. If Thomas wants him in videos, then we have to include him, you know this,” Morality says in a placating tone. 

“He is an important aspect of who Thomas is as a person. It would not do to miss a certain view of a video simply because you dislike him, Roman,” Logan explains. Virgil’s eight eyes blink in shock. Is Logic actually defending him?

Suddenly, Virgil teleports to his spot, making it look like he popped in from another place, while simultaneously returning to human form without the others seeing. Morality screams and Creativity pulls out his sword, but Logic remains unmoved. 

“Yo,” Anxiety offers, taking his seat, this time sitting on the back with his feet in the seat. 

“Ah, good, we were just about to start,” Logic says as the others recover, “Now, the usual, what went well, and what can we improve?”

The discussion goes as it normally does, with Creativity glaring a bit more than usual at Anxiety, Logic taking studious notes and Morality bouncing happily, though he stops when he notices the tension in the room. Looking closer, Virgil can see that Logic seems to be a bit distracted, zoning out a bit and just writing down what he hears and not what’s important. 

As soon as the discussion is over, Virgil goes home. Janus and Remus are waiting for any insights from the discussion today. 

“I think Logic may be beginning to doubt,” Virgil says with glee, then explains what he noticed. 

“Well, this certainly isn’t fortuitous,” Janus agrees.

“Indeed, if he does come to us, we can have another spy, one that could get us info that Virgil couldn’t,” Remus contemplates, “but it would be difficult. He was raised with the others, he’s likely only willing to go so far, instead of being one of us ‘ride or die’ bitches.”

They go on to spend the rest of the evening planning what to do if Logic does defect and how far they should push him before Janus makes dinner and shooes them off to an early bed. It had been a long day. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed!
> 
> Before I forget, updates will most likely not happen often in December, because of finals and then holidays with family, I don't know how often I'll be able to get away to write. The first two weeks of December are definitely off, bc that's finals, and the rest is iffy bc family.


	14. My NEGATIVE Thinking!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is still my favorite Sanders Sides video of all time.

“This will be just you and Logic, Virgil, so you’ll have the chance to observe how he interacts with you specifically and compare that to how he is with everyone,” Remus says, giving Virgil a basic outline of what info they might need. After all,  _ if _ , and that’s a big if, the nerd is going to turn dark, they want to be prepared. 

**[Thomas]: My name is Thomas Sanders and for my first trick, I will do my impression of a Youtube vlog intro! *inhales* Brezur zur ze. No, that's not right. Be-*logo*-zzzz**

**[Thomas]:Thank you. Thank you. What is up, everybody? So, relatable moment time. If you've ever acted or wanted to act, or watched High School Musical, you know that in order to be a part of a show you must first partake *short inhale* in the dreaded audition process. And earlier today, I subjected myself to yet another one of those horrible judge fests. I tried to play it off, I tried to pretend like it's old hat, to go up on stage announce my name, sing 16 bars and be done with it, but it can never be that easy CAN IT? In this most recent audition... uh... I don't know it was rough. *inhales* Mistakes were made. I don't even know if I want to think about it. *Thomas stares into nothingness* You know what? Yes, I do. Logic!**

**[Siri from Logan’s phone]: "El principe es stupido."**

**[Logan]: "El principe es stupid--" Oh.**

“I agree, Logic, my brother is an idiot,” Remus says, clapping his hands. 

**[Thomas]: I'm sorry.**

**[Logan]: You know you should uh... really give us fair warning before pulling us into one of these vlogs, Thomas.**

**[Thomas]: Are you learning Spanish?**

**[Logan]: Not really. I am trying to learn a particular phrase in a multitude of languages—and you know it doesn't really matter— What can I do for you, Thomas?**

**[Thomas]: Okay, so I just recently had an audition—**

**[Logan]: Oh yes, for one of those stage productions for a professional make-believe.**

**[Thomas]: Yes. And the audition is over,**

**[Logan]: It would seem so.**

**[Thomas]: I either get the part or I don't.**

**[Logan]: Yes, that's how it works, is this new information for you? or...**

**[Thomas]: I just want to know. Objectively, how did I do?**

“My time to shine,” Virgil says, rising from his seat. 

**[Anxiety]: You screwed up.**

**[Thomas]: Ah! Anxiety!**

**[Anxiety]: Anxiety what are you doing here? Yes? This is exactly what you do every time I pop up, let's just skip that part, we get it. You don't want me here, but I'm here and this is what I do.**

Act bitter to his job and portrayal, gain sympathy, but still lash out when hurt or angry. 

**[Thomas]: Oh, I don't think that's all that you—**

**[Anxiety]: You did a bad job, Sanders!**

**[Thomas]: Alright.**

**[Logan]: Where specifically did he do a 'bad job'?**

**[Anxiety]: Try the beginning. He choked.**

**[Logan]: Ugh. Thomas. How many times do I have to tell you, chew your food!**

“He’s not as bad as you, Remus, except I don’t think Logic does is on accident,” Janus says.

“True! I choose to take things literally, I think Logic’s just a dumbass,” Remus agrees happily. 

**[Anxiety]: N-no.**

**[Thomas]: No, that's too literal.**

**[Anxiety]: He forgot the lyrics.**

**[Thomas]: I forgot the song, Logan! I tripped right out of the gates.**

**[Logan]: Well you should watch where you're stepping.**

**[Anxiety]: -sighs-**

**[Thomas]: Just focus on the forgetting the song part.**

**[Anxiety]: Way more work than it should be.**

**[Logan]: Okay, Well would it help you to know that it is not always essential to remember one's lines?**

**[Thomas]: It isn't?**

**[Anxiety]: When is it ever okay to forget your lines?**

**[Logan]: In Christopher Nolan's 2008 film, the Dark Knight, when Michael Caine first saw Heath Ledger enter as the Joker, in all of his makeup, it startled him so much that it caused him to forget his lines, and that take was so organic that it was used in the final cut of the film.**

“That’s oddly specific,” Remus blinks in confusion.

“And totally applicable to the situation,” Janus continues. 

**[Thomas]: Yes!**

**[Anxiety]: That is an extremely specific and random fact to call upon for the sake of feeling secure.**

**[Thomas]: Whatever works!**

**[Anxiety]: And that's a movie, where you have the benefit of picking and choosing the best out of several takes. This is theater, where you only have one shot, and he threw it away.**

Fandoms for the win. 

**[Thomas]: Oh, you're using Lin-Manuel Miranda's words against me! Logic, say something!**

**[Logan]: I mean it was colorfully phrased, but it's not an unfair point. Why are you asking me for help? I'm not usually your source of positivity. Why not summon Roman? He's your self-confidence, your ego, and he loves the sing-y, artsy, frivolous displays.**

**[Thomas]: Uh... *gestures to Roman’s corner***

***Awkward silence***

“Oh my fucking god, he fucking dead,” Remus says. Janus wacks him with a pillow. 

**[Thomas]: Uh...**

**[Logan]: I'm confused.**

**[Roman]: I'm not camera ready!**

**[Thomas]: -sighs- Yeah, Princey was onstage with me the entire time today, and with the performance I gave, let's just say my ego is a bit... bruised.**

**[Roman]: Everything hurts!**

“He needs some milk!” Janus shouts, shocking Remus. 

**[Logan]: Hmm. Okay, well how about Morality? That cardigan-clad clod is an unending source of delusional optimism.**

**[Thomas]: Hng... *Thomas pointing to Morality’s corner***

***Another awkward silence***

**[Morality]: Yeah, I'm taking care of Princey here, kiddos. Alright, Roman. Soup time!**

**[Roman]: Cream of broccoli?! I told you I hate—mm, nevermind this is delicious.**

**[Logan]: Oh, that is not good. A cream-based broth will upset Princey's stomach.**

**[Thomas]: Logic, focus!**

**[Logan]: Apologies. So, uh, they are of no help to you whatsoever.**

**[Thomas]: No! Right now, I don't feel confident or optimistic about my chances. I was hoping that you would tell me that I did good… objectively!**

**[Logan]: Yikes. Unfortunately, I cannot do that, Thomas. Perhaps this time you may have to consider that you did not do particularly well.**

“Oof. You know it’s bad when Logic can’t rationalize your performance to say it’s even just decent,” Remus comments. 

**[Anxiety]: Yeah, it was a train wreck.**

**[Logan]: Time out! that seemed very emotionally charged.**

**[Anxiety]: What are you talking about? I just said what you said only more effectively.**

**[Logan]: Ah, I see the issue, Thomas.**

**[Thomas]: What is it?**

**[Logan]: I now realize there is only one persona here holding sway over your feelings. And they fall quite heavily on the negative end of the spectrum. If you allow your thinking to be influenced too much by negative emotions, Then it will lead to cognitive distortions.**

**[Thomas]: Cong-nitis dis-portion.**

**[Logan]: No, cognitive distortions.**

**[Thomas]: Haagen-Dazs dispersion.**

“What is up with him? This is totally how Thomas usually acts,” Janus squints at their host. 

**[Logan]: Getting further away... cognitive distortions.**

**[Thomas]: (whispers) I don't know what you're saying.**

**[Logan]: It's when you think things are different than how they actually are.**

**[Thomas]: Oh, like imaginary!**

**[Logan]: Kind of, but bad imaginary.**

**[Thomas]: Noo!**

**[Logan]: Therefore, I must do what I can to guide you towards a more accurate outlook.**

**[Anxiety]: Of course when it comes down to it, you take Princey's side.**

**[Logan]: I'm not taking his side, did I say I was taking his side?**

**[Thomas]: No.**

**[Logan]: Quite honestly, I find both you and Princey to be a little too…extra.**

**[Thomas]: Vocab word!**

**[Logan]: Yes, I've been studying.**

**[Thomas]: So proud of you.**

**[Logan]: I cannot make you feel better with positive or comforting words, But I can work to bring a clearer vision of the entire situation that this corner of the room is obscuring.**

**[Anxiety]: I would write an angsty sonnet illustrating my contempt for you if I actually cared enough about what you were saying right now.**

“What was that?!?” Remus asks, genuinely confused and confuzzled. 

“Gotta keep the emo act,” Virgil whispers back down as soon as the camera’s off him. 

**[Thomas]: Okay, well Logan, what do you propose?**

**[Logan]: Anxiety seems to be swaying you with his reasoning, So I will attempt to do the same in the only civil way I know how: A debate.**

**[Logan]: *snaps his fingers***

***new scene* (debate room)**

Of course, Anxiety would be unsettled by the sudden change in location, but Paranoia nearly throws a knife at Logic’s head. 

Now that they are in the mindscape, Remus and Janus are lurking, unseen and unnoticed, behind the curtain that is behind Virgil. Remus puts up a magic barrier muffling any sound coming from Janus and himself, but letting Virgil hear them. 

**[Thomas]: Good afternoon from the Sanders Mind Palace Center, I am Thomas Sanders; your supplier of semi-humorous Tumblr posts at three in the morning, And I welcome you to the first, and hopefully only, 2017 Emotionally Compromised Debate between Secretary of Logical Defense, Logan, and Supreme Dark Overlord of Negative Commerce… I'm afraid I'm going to need your name.**

**[Anxiety]: No.**

“Ha! He thought that would actually work!” Remus gasps, doubling over with laughter. 

**[Thomas]: Ah, worth a shot. Anxiety. This debate is sponsored by the National Essential Reasoning Department or NERD—**

**[Logan]: Uh, or-or we do not have to abbreviate it—**

**[Thomas]: ... and the Public Humiliation Foundation.**

**[Anxiety]: I'm a monthly donor.**

**[Thomas]: The format has been determined by Logan—**

**[Anxiety]: Rigged!**

“It wouldn’t seem that way,” Janus agrees.

**[Thomas]: ... Four one-minute segments, centering around recent personal events that trouble me greatly, please help me. -screams of agony-**

**[Logan]: Keep calm, carry on.**

**[Thomas]: You're right I'm an adult... me me big boy—Nope. Each debater will have 30 seconds to answer their question, followed by a response from their opponent, are we clear on the rules?**

**[Logan]: Yes.**

**[Anxiety]: This is stupid.**

**[Thomas]: Let the debate begin. Anxiety, the first question goes to you.**

**[Anxiety]: Too much pressure, no!**

Paranoia is actually excited for this, but Anxiety most definitely wouldn’t like this scenario. Still, while Paranoia knows he won’t win, you can’t win a debate against Logic, Virgil is very much excited to try. 

**[Thomas]: Yesterday, I was texting someone who I liked very much. They made me feel itty-bitty butterflies in my tummy and sunshine in my heart.**

**[Logan & Anxiety]: -groan in disgust-**

“Ugh,” Remus and Janus both agree with the sentiment. Most of the Shadow family don’t like romance in general, though Remus, Janus, and Virgil are queer-platonic partners: closer than friends or siblings, but not dating, purely platonic. 

**[Thomas]: At one point in the conversation, they suddenly stopped replying to me; my question to you is, do they hate me?**

**[Anxiety]: Definitely.**

**[Thomas]: Interesting, Would you care to elaborate?**

**[Anxiety]: I mean why else would they not reply to you; people use their phones for everything these days. Do you honestly believe there's any chance that this person didn't see your text? You were probably just annoying them the whole time, and they were replying just to be nice and then that got boring.**

“Well reasoned,” Remus nods. Virgil preens slightly at the compliment, off-camera. 

**[Thomas]: Logic, your response.**

**[Logan]: Thomas this sounds to me like a prime example of the cognitive distortion known as "jumping to conclusions", or inference observation confusion. There could be a multitude of reasons why they didn't reply, especially when you are unaware of how they were feeling, what was going on while they were texting, their battery life—**

**[Anxiety]: —How much they hate you.**

If the game is rigged, why play by the rules?

**[Logan]: I waited for my turn to speak, please do not disrespect the sanctity of the rules that we just made up just now. As I was saying it is very easy for one to draw conclusions from limited data. But that is a fool's errand. The information that you have is as follows: you were conversating, humans typically socialize with other humans that they enjoy, and for some unknown reason, the conversation abruptly ended. Does this individual dislike you? That's TBD.**

**[Anxiety]: "Totally Believable Dude".**

**[Logan]: "To Be Determined".**

**[Thomas]: Okay? Well, those are very important things to consider, so thank you, Logan.**

**[Anxiety]: My argument was more convincing.**

**[Logan]: Falsehood.**

“Well, at least he did scream it,” Janus says, with Remus agreeing. Logic’s “Falsehood” could be considered a true war cry. 

**[Thomas]: Next question we start with Logan.**

**[Logan]: I am ready.**

**[Thomas]: Last week I had planned to be super productive, get a whole bunch of tasks finally taken care of, and be ahead in life.**

**[Logan]: All thanks to my proposed efficiency plan that was voted on.**

**[Thomas]: Yes! However, certain tests were never gotten around to, and the plan wasn't as successfully carried out as I would have hoped. Was it all a waste?**

**[Logan]: No, not necessarily.**

**[Anxiety]: That's not a straight answer.**

“Can any of us answer straight, though?” Remus asks, causing Janus to actually burst out laughing. 

**[Logan]: Can I—can I finish?**

**[Anxiety]: Well are you going to answer a question honestly?**

**[Logan]: Can I finish my statement? I was making a statement. If you— If you let me finish my statement, I can at least—**

***at the same time***

**[Anxiety]: Are you going to answer honestly? Because I'm waiting for you to give an honest straight up answer— (undecipherable speaking)**

**[Thomas]: *joins the conversation making it even more impossible to hear what they are saying* Gentlemen, we are trying to carry on with this debate a little bit.**

**[Logan]: (arguing going on in the background) Listen, if you can't play by the rules,**

**[Thomas]: Gentlemen, if we can get back on task...**

**[Logan]: we cannot do this debate any further. I was trying to make a statement.**

**[Thomas]: Can we bring order to this?**

“NO!” crows Remus, reveling in the chaos.

**[Anxiety]: The plain answer that question, Thomas, is that you did not follow through with that plan, Therefore, yes, it was a waste. See, Logan. I even used your reasoning to come to that conclusion.**

**[Logan]: Okay. That was your turn, now it's my turn. Thomas, did you complete all that you set out to do? No. But you're leaving out a lot of the things that you did get done. This act of ignoring the positives is called "mental filtering" and it is not healthy. Give yourself credit for the things that were accomplished.**

**[Thomas]: Thank you, Logan.**

**[Anxiety]: This is unfair. You're rooting against me, and you're the moderator.**

That much is true. If Virgil were actually Anxiety, he would likely feel unwelcome, beaten down, spit on, and made fun of. Hopeless and homeless. Honestly, Virgil is glad he’s Paranoia. This would be true torture as Anxiety, craving acceptance and not having a family like Janus and Remus to fall back on. 

**[Logan]: What's the matter, Anxiety? Are you worried that your silver tongue will land you in the second place?**

**[Anxiety]: -hisses at Logan-**

Whoops, some spider slipped there. Well, at least he didn’t spit venom. That would be awkward to explain. Plus, Logic is so startled that he seems to have lost his train of thought. 

**[Logan]: ... I'm sorry did he just hiss at me?**

**[Anxiety]: I do that when I start reaching my limit with stupid questions.**

**[Thomas]: Bear with me, a little longer. Anxiety, this morning, I went to go get a coffee and the barista was extremely charming.**

**[Anxiety]: Ugh, charming.**

“Ugh, charming,” Janus and Remus say at the same time as Virgil. Charming is not something any of them really like, given who is considered the most charming in the mindscape. 

**[Thomas]: Things were going really well; there was some witty banter, and then at the inevitable 'Enjoy your coffee', I replied with 'You too'. Did I—**

**[Anxiety]: —You blew it and you're a moron.**

While Paranoia is not as concerned with the smaller things like that, more focused on keeping Thomas safe, Anxiety would worry about awkward little things like that, and Virgil had reacted in that moment that Thomas is referencing to keep his cover. 

**[Thomas]: Yeah. That's what I thought, moving on—**

**[Logan]: —Wait, do I not get a turn?**

**[Thomas]: I don't think it's really necessary, his argument was pretty airtight.**

**[Anxiety]: Boom.**

**[Logan]: N-No, no it wasn't. See, what you just did there, what Anxiety is having you do, is called "magnifying." Taking one or a couple minuscule possibly unfortunate moments and making them out to be bigger than they were. It sounds like the rest of the exchange went how an optimal courtship should be conducted.**

**[Thomas]: I mean, I guess.**

**[Anxiety]: He just wants us to ignore the important facts, the ones that matter.**

**[Logan]: Falsehood. That is what you are doing.**

**[Anxiety]: So you admit they're important.**

**[Logan]: Okay? You know what?**

**[Anxiety]: What are you doing?**

**[Logan]: I am writing you a prescription for a figurative chill pill.**

**[Thomas]: Oh, oooh!**

“That was bad, Logic, horrible job,” Janus says. Remus looks at him in surprise. It isn’t often that Janus compliments anyone, much less a main side. 

**[Logan]: Eh? Eh?**

**[Thomas]: Okay, let's move on. Last issue, I will throw out for open discussion. I posted a video recently that did not do as well as a lot of my other videos. Is this the beginning of the end for me?**

**[Anxiety]: Well now you can't argue with numbers. It could very well be… Time to panic and/or cry.**

**[Logan]: Preposterous.**

**[Anxiety]: Your mom is preposterous. **

“Throwing out the ‘your mom’ jokes, Anxiety must be getting desperate,” Remus cackles. Virgil flips him the bird behind his back, where Logic and Thomas can’t see. 

**[Logan]: I'm ignoring you. What you're doing there, Thomas, is called overgeneralizing. You're letting one less than ideal event speak for any and all future events, and that is a pointless venture.**

**[Anxiety]: Your mom is pointless.**

**[Thomas]: Let's leave the mothers out of this, all right, especially considering the fact that neither of you have a mother.**

**[Anxiety]: If she did exist, she'd be preposterous and pointless.**

**[Logan]: (voice crack) FaLsEhOoD! **

“There’s the war cry! Virgil’s in trouble now,” Remus says like a five year old. Janus conjures a pillow and begins to suffocate the octopus man. 

**[Logan]: Excuse me. All I'm saying is that this is not the first time a video has underperformed. In the past, has any specific video's lack of popularity ever been indicative of a trend towards failure?**

**[Thomas]: I guess not.**

**[Logan]: Your life is proven to have its peaks and valleys, but those valleys always eventually lead to peaks again.**

**[Thomas]: So true.**

**[Anxiety]: You know what I've had enough of this; none of this makes any difference, you know why? Because I'm right and you're wrong, that is why.**

**[Logan]: Savage.**

“What?” Janus stops suffocating Remus for a second in shock. Remus freezes and listens, as he also heard that. 

**[Thomas]: Wait, why are you complimenting him?**

**[Logan]: I'm saying that he's acting like an aggressive brainless savage. Oh, no. Is that another contemporary slang word I have to learn?**

“Oh, that’s what it wasn’t,” Janus says, releasing Remus from his suffocation. 

**[Thomas]: (whispers) It is.**

**[Logan]: Okay. I cannot keep up with these.**

**[Anxiety]: Here, I'm ready to give my closing statement. This is stupid. He's stupid. I'm out.**

**[Logan]: Okay, he is throwing a tantrum. I do not engage with tantrum-throwers.**

**[Anxiety]: Scenario over. *snaps fingers***

“Careful, Virge, you might not accidentally reveal that you have more power than they are expecting you to have,” Janus whispers as he and Remus return to the shadow mindscape to keep watching. 

***end scene***

**[Logan]: That was my dream space. How dare you?**

**[Anxiety]: Was it really getting us anywhere?**

**[Thomas]: Actually... I think maybe it did.**

**[Anxiety]: How?**

**[Thomas]: Well, when I messed up during the audition today, I thought the director immediately hated me, but that may have been me jumping to a conclusion.**

**[Logan]: Correct.**

**[Anxiety]: You forgot the song, that's the whole thing!**

Even though he knew he had lost, Anxiety would still try to argue, to get his point across, because no one was listening. 

**[Thomas]: True, but when I was given that second chance, I did pretty well. I may have been magnifying that one mistake to seem bigger than it was. I have to try not to mentally filter out the good parts of my audition. The parts I can look back on and feel proud of.**

**[Logan]: You learning things is the closest I will ever be to feeling love.**

**[Anxiety]: Great. So you've reasoned your way through today. Well, what's going to happen if and when you find out you are not cast in this show?**

**[Thomas]: Well, I'll be bummed but I won't overgeneralize. One bad audition doesn't speak for everything that I have to offer. I'm capable of doing better, and I will.**

**[Logan]: Well done, Thomas! A+ for today.**

**[Thomas]: No, well done to you, sir!**

**[Logan]: And Anxiety,**

**[Anxiety]: Save your insults I'm just going to deck out.**

Anxiety may not have wanted to stand around being insulted, but Virgil doesn’t either. Virgil just wants to go home and cuddle with his family, watch movies and cuddle with his qpp’s. 

**[Logan]: Actually, um, I was going to tell you that was a good debate today.**

**[Anxiety]: What...? W—what do you mean?**

**[Logan]: I mean, you did a good job.**

**[Anxiety]: How? I was barely trying. I hissed at you.**

**[Logan]: Yes, I must admit, that as a fairly uncommon debate tactic. But despite you clearly not enjoying taking part, you still participated, you offered your points. And you even reasoned in your own way, and all that is commendable.**

**[Thomas]: (whispers) This is so pure.**

**[Anxiety]: I gotta say, I—don't really know how to react to you complimenting me, kind of thought you didn't like me. Especially after last time when you called me a defeatist.**

**[Logan]: Well, you are wrong about a lot of things, but I don't necessarily mind your company, the other two can bring in a whole lot of sunshine and that can be unbearable, and I can't imagine having a debate with either one of them.**

**[Anxiety]: I guess I just kind of assumed that—**

**[Logan]: You jumped to a conclusion.**

Let Logic bring the video around full circle, let him think he is helping Anxiety. 

**[Thomas]: (whispers) We were just talking about this, weren't we?**

**[Anxiety]: Touché. Thanks.**

**[Thomas]: Glad to see you guys working some things out.**

**[Anxiety]: We didn't work anything out.**

**[Logan]: He's as stubborn as ever.**

**[Thomas]: Ah, okay, moment of reprieve over as soon as it began. But I do think that I have more of an accurate handle on the whole situation. And I hope that for any troublesome moments that occur in your lives, you are able to remember these tips so that you don't let negative thinking cloud your perception of them. Until next time, take it easy guys gals and non-binary pals. Peace out!**

***end card***

**[Logan]: It's interesting.**

**[Anxiety]: What?**

**[Logan]: Now that we're at a little bit of a standstill, I finally feel a sense of peace in this household.**

**[Anxiety]: I guess?**

**[Logan]: The atmosphere is calm. The air is tranquil and it finally feels like we are at a point of higher sophisticated thinking.**

It is certainly better when Creativity isn’t here to insult him, or Morality with his strict reprimands of his language. 

**[Roman]: I'm back! Did you miss me?**

**[Logan]: Your mom misses you! I'm sorry while that was savage... it was a little extra.**

**[Roman]: What did you do to him?**

**[Morality]: Logic! Now, where did you learn such childish humor? -tuts-**

Heading to the main kitchen, Virgil grabbed a soda from the fridge and a brownie from the plate on the counter, then squat in a chair with only his toes actually in contact with the chair. Anxiety actually seems relaxed in Logic’s presence. 

“As usual, what went well, and what didn’t?” Logic begins, “I found the debate to be interesting, though it may have been better if we had stayed in Thomas’ living room, as I did notice you seemed to be unsettled by the sudden change in location, Anxiety. I predict the viewers will respond favorably to the video, though more people will be theorizing about your name now, due to the fact that you refused to give it when Thomas asked.”

“I know,” Anxiety shrugs, “I’ll figure it out.”

At this point, Patton and Roman wander in. Having been distracted for most of the video, they don’t have to be here for the debrief, but Patton wants to be so he can hang out with the others before Anxiety disappears to wherever he goes, and Roman wants to protect Logan and Patton from Anxiety. Instantly, Anxiety tenses up, closing his mouth and taking back whatever he was about to say. Logan, ever observant, sees this. Eyes narrowing slightly, he decides to see if his hypothesis is correct. 

“So, Anxiety, any critiques of the video?” Logan asks, knowing Anxiety likely won’t respond with anything substantial as long as Roman is in the room, and possibly Patton. Sure enough, Anxiety just shrugs and mumbles something that Logan couldn’t hear. 

“Of course he doesn’t have any, the video was almost perfect! It would have been perfect if I had been there, but I was unfortunately out of commission,” Creativity butts into the conversation. 

“Perhaps, but I was asking Anxiety, not you, Roman,” Logan rebukes gently, motioning to Patton to distract Roman in another room and turning to watch them go. Thankfully, Patton understands, and takes Roman out of the room with a question about the Imagination. Anxiety watches all of this happen through his fringe, eyes narrowed. 

“Now that they are gone, I reiterate: any critiques for the video?” Logan asks, turning back to Anxiety.

“Not really. We got the point across, though I would have liked staying in the living room better,” Anxiety says quietly, as if afraid that Logan will yell at him for his honest feedback. Quickly, Anxiety sinks out before Logic can say anything else. 

Back home, Virgil lets out a confused laugh.

“What happened?” Remus asks, as Janus wasn’t back yet from watching Virgil’s back during the debrief.

“Logic was treating my like some abused kid, and Roman was the abuser,” Virgil replies, still more than a little confused and shocked.

At that moment, Janus comes in, looking worried. He immediately beelines for Virgil, two hands on his shoulders and the others gripping his arms, looks Virgil in the eye, and asks, “You okay? That totally wasn’t weird.”

“Still processing, but I’m good, I think,” Virgil replies, swaying slightly, “I think I need to sit down.”

“I don’t think he saw your reaction to Roman and Patton coming in, didn’t remember that Remus acted violent when he was still with them, and didn’t make connections based on that,” Janus posits, all six hands forming three little steeples under his chin, one under another.

“You think that Logan saw that I flinched when Roman came in and assumed  _ Remus _ was the one abusing me? That’s not what I was going for at all,” Virgil replies, putting a hand on Remus’ shoulder to help ground himself. 

“What were you going for?” Remus asks, comforted by Virgil’s hand on his shoulder. 

“I was trying to at least imply that Anxiety is uncomfortable around more than 1 person, maybe even imply that I just don’t like Roman in particular, but both of them in general would have been fine. Logic  _ jumped to a conclusion _ ,” Virgil finally bursts out laughing at that, “The one thing he was just telling Thomas not to do.”

The rest of the night is spent, content, with family, and the occasional giggle when someone remembers the slight hypocrisy of the logical facet. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed!
> 
> I have looked at what I have, and I will upload up to Chapter 16 before going dark for finals and the holidays. That chappie should be the first Thursday of December, unless I have misjudged everything about my calendar and time in general. Which, you know, I do often.


	15. Growing Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Thanksgiving! Here's an excuse to ignore your family's rude ignorant comments before dinner begins.

“This one won’t be Morality’s name reveal, and it doesn’t look like the other two will be ganging up on him,” Janus tells Virgil as Virgil preps for the next video.

“Wonderful, I won’t have to do much but enjoy the chaos,” Virgil smirks. 

**[Thomas]: How much do I enjoy visual puns? Well, you wouldn't be-LEAF it! -crowd cheers- Thank you, thank you so much! x4**

***logo***

**[Thomas]: What is up, everybody? Oh man, so I just recently celebrated my BIRTHDAY! One more year older! Putting a stamp on another year of doing...whatever the heck I'm doing. I don't know. And how does it feel?**

**[Morality]: AMAZING!**

**[Thomas]: That's right, Morality!**

**[Roman]: Uhhh...**

**[Logan]: Uhhh…**

“Alright, we’re doing everyone all at once,” Virgil says, standing to leave.

**[Anxiety]: Uhhh...**

**[Thomas]: Ugh, come on you guys, WHAT? Can't I get through one video without having some sort of...dilemma?**

**[Anxiety]: I'm not alone on this one? Nice.**

That is a bit of a shocker, but, considering the topic, makes a bit of sense. 

**[Thomas]: So thrilled to see you, Anxiety, working together with my logical side and my fanciful side. This is...really heartwarming.**

**[Morality]: It is! But I'm also confused!**

**[Anxiety]: Another year older and, yeah, you're here but is "here" where you need to be?**

**[Logan]: Well, I don't think that's the dilemma. This is indeed his apartment.**

Virgil, Remus, and Janus all roll their eyes. 

**[Anxiety]: I mean- Like, is he satisfied with where he is at this point in his life.**

**[Logan]: Ah, yes. That's where I was coming from.**

**[Roman]: I don't like it, but I too have to agree with Surly Temple here.**

**[Anxiety]: How many of those you got?**

“Little does my dear brother know, that’s all me!” Remus says proudly and a little slyly. 

**[Roman]: Thomas, there is so much that you have dreamed of doing. Are we there yet? Nay.**

**[Morality]: Moo! Animal noises. Go!**

**[Logan]: Baaa―wait! This is not the time for word association games!**

**[Thomas]: Okay. Well, yeah. There's still lots I have to accomplish.**

**[Logan]: Oh, lots indeed. There's your dreams, sure. But, there's also business responsibilities, social commitments, personal health responsibilities, groceries, hygiene-**

**[Thomas]: I get it.**

**[Logan]: Oh, those are just the categories. We haven't even gotten into specifics yet.**

**[Thomas]: Okay. Well, I still have time for all of that.**

**[Roman]: -tsks-**

**[Anxiety]: -scoffs-**

“He isn’t doing minimal work in this video, while still making himself the villain, horrible job, dear,” Janus says, partially to himself but loud enough that Virgil can hear. Virgil blushes, but quickly gets himself back under control. 

**[Thomas]: ...Right?**

**[Morality]: You sure do.**

**[Anxiety]: I don't know. Do you? That's what a birthday brings, sadly enough. The awareness of the passage of time. How far you've actually come. How little time you have left. I mean, who knows? Any day could be your last…**

Time for an existential crisis! Honestly, Virgil feels sorry for the viewers who just got one because of what he said. The things he says are only meant for Thomas, but now, they are shared with the world, for everyone to hear, and Virgil hates being the trigger for some of them. He knows that Janus and Remus will feel the same after their first time on screen. 

**[Thomas]: -groans-**

**[Morality]: Stop! Stop. Now, I know we tend to overthink a couple things.**

**[Logan]: A couple?**

**[Morality]: But a birthday is...a birthday! Getting older should be celebrated!**

**[Thomas]: I don't know, Morality. Maybe they're right? I mean, we've kinda had this talk before, but with getting older, I feel more and more… out of place.**

**[Morality]: What do you mean by that, kiddo?**

**[Thomas]: I don't know. I'm just―am I really doing what I should be doing?**

**[Morality]: Aw, well, look who needs another lesson in adultery!**

**[Thomas]: Ok, for the last time―THAT IS NOT RIGHT.**

**[Morality]: I'm sorry, look WHOM needs another lesson in adultery.**

**[Thomas]: Somehow worse.**

**[Roman]: Now Thomas, you know I believe in you… But I get a little bit restless when I think about all the adventures yet to come. When comparing yourself to your friends and what they've accomplished, how do you stack up?**

**[Morality]: Like pancakes―a grand slam!**

**[Anxiety]: Like pancakes―you fall flat.**

“Ooooooo, I like it,” Remus says, also loud enough for Virgil to hear, “That was creative!”

**[Thomas]: Don't you dare turn breakfast food into a negative metaphor.**

**[Logan]: Some of your friends are getting married, some are pursuing higher education, and some are getting serious jobs, all for the betterment of their futures.**

**[Thomas]: Yeah...**

**[Anxiety]: So...what are YOU doing?**

Virgil is just grateful for the break he gets in this video. He only has to be the catalyst, the instigator, and the others just run with it. Minimal work, maintain the cover, and observe the on-camera interactions of the others and compare that to their off-camera interactions and figure out how to manipulate both. It’s harder to do that kind of analysis when you are a larger variable in the interaction. 

**[Thomas]: I-I...**

**[Morality]: ANYTHING he darn well pleases! Look, everyone, Thomas and I have already had the talk on learning new things to be more responsible, and he's doing that! Getting older is not a bad thing! Independence is a celebration! It's got "dance" right in the word.**

**[Logan]: N-No it doesn't.**

But so many people think so!

**[Morality]: I mean, think of it! You no longer have any schoolteachers to tell you what to do.**

**[Logan]: Was this really a necessary visual?**

**[Morality]: Which means YOU choose what you want to read and what to learn!**

**[Morality]: You and your friends can be as loud as you want without getting in trouble.**

***new scene***

**[Thomas]: -strangled scream-**

**So yeah, that's probably what I would sound like if I was giving birth.**

***end scene***

**[Morality]: You always have the perfect group for group projects!**

***new scene***

**[Thomas]: We've finally done it...**

**-dramatic music plays- VOLTRON SHIRT! AWAY―oh, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry!**

**[Joan]: Drop it, it's fine.**

**[Thomas]: Ok. Let's go!**

**-music stops- -abrupt ripping noise-**

***end scene***

**[Morality]: You're lucky enough to be able to work whenever you wanna work! And when you don't feel like working, you can stay up until 3 a.m. rewatching Parks & Recreation.**

**[Thomas]: -dopey laughter-**

**[Roman]: ...What were those scenarios?**

**[Thomas]: They were all real events, in my life. Except the 3 a.m. one. I usually stay up much later.**

**[Morality]: Well, yeah...**

**[Logan]: He cannot stay up until 3 a.m., or however late.**

**[Thomas]: It's like 5 a.m.**

**[Logan]: Oh my...**

**[Roman]: -gasps- Great Odin's eyepatch!**

**[Anxiety]: 5 a.m. The witching hour.**

Reinforce the emo stereotype. 

**[Logan]: I could be wrong, but I believe that's midnight.**

**[Anxiety]: 5 a.m. The devil's hour.**

**[Logan]: Now I'm pretty sure that's 3 a.m.**

**[Anxiety]: Well, then it's just 5 a.m. and you need to go to bed.**

“Even if Sleep is doing his job, just laying in bed with your eyes closed isn’t better than nothing,” Janus says, wondering why Logan didn’t bring that up. 

**[Logan]: Exactly! He can't stay up rewatching Parks & Recreation every time he doesn't feel like working.**

**[Morality]: Why is that, Mr. Gloomy Gus Teacher?**

**[Logan]: Because...! -clears throat- ...he'll never get anything done.**

**[Anxiety]: Unless you want me to keep coming around to remind you of all the things you fail to do, in which case, keep it up.**

It’s good to remind Thomas of their functions, that they aren’t people, just things that represent parts of him. 

**[Thomas]: -whimpers-**

**[Morality]: He will do whatever he has to do at his own pace, and he can spend his downtime however he wants. Adults get to make decisions independent of their parents, which means… See, Logic? I'm doing it too! You can eat whatever you want… You wear whatever you like… You're free to make fun, ill-advised decisions…**

***new scene***

**[Thomas]: I need you to hit me with your car for a video.**

**[Joan]: I've dreamed of this moment.**

**[Thomas]: You have?**

**[Joan]: Uh, no, let's go!**

**[Thomas]: Alright.**

***end scene***

**[Morality]: You do chores whenever you feel like it… Play video games until your eyes are sore… AND no curfew! You can stay up until 3 a.m. rewatching Parks & Recreation. Oh, and if you ever need help from your parents, they're just a phone call away.**

**[Roman]: Did you ever wash that shirt? You're wearing it right now.**

**[Thomas]: I did not.**

**[Roman]: Ewwww!**

**[Anxiety]: Dude.**

To be fair, that is disgusting, and Virgil makes a mental note to bring that up more often. It wouldn’t do for people to dislike you because of smelly clothes, especially to the point of being willing to murder you for your bad odor. 

**[Thomas]: Why did you have to show everyone that?**

**[Morality]: -shrugs-**

**[Logan]: That settles it. Morality, you are the issue here.**

**[Morality]: Oh, Logan. I love this playful teasing back and forth that we do!**

**[Logan]: No, I'm serious right now. And always have been. And forever will be. NECKTIE!**

**[Roman]: You are holding Thomas back!**

**[Anxiety]: His heart's just not in the right place.**

**[Logan]: Again, that is not the issue. Anatomically, Thomas is fine.**

**[Anxiety]: Why do you only take whatever I say literally?**

“That isn’t odd,” Janus says, and Remus agrees. Privately, though, Remus thinks that Logic might be flirting with Anxiety, in his own awkward way, and can’t help but feel a bit jealous. 

**[Roman]: I am always a proponent of following one's heart, BUT if it is not helping on the quest to fulfill one's longing, then what is the gosh-darn-ding-dang point?**

**[Morality]: Well...**

**[Logan]: Figures like parents or teachers were there to keep you accountable for your actions, Thomas, and without them, you lack the accountability system necessary to stay on track.**

**[Thomas]: Yeah...you're right.**

**[Morality]: But, kiddo...**

**[Thomas]: That's just it! I am not a "kiddo" anymore! It's time I start acting like it.**

**[Morality]: I'm sorry, does... "adulto" work?**

**[Thomas]: How about "Mr. Sanders"?**

“That’s not going to fit,” Remus says, making a face of disgust. 

**[Logan]: I like it, very professional.**

**[Thomas]: Yes. Yes, it is.**

**[Morality]: But that's not fun...**

**[Roman]: Well, let's face it, Morality. Things can't always be fun if we're trying to get where we want to go. We need actual contributions from you every now and then.**

**[Logan]: You stand there, making your... puns, and are just needlessly... silly. All the time.**

**[Roman]: Perhaps it's best you just stick to knowing the difference between right and wrong, and leaving the rest to us.**

“How are they doing this? Why is he letting them do this? Morality would always have allowed this before. You talk back to him once and he doesn’t banish you. Is it because Thomas is there?” Janus asks rapid-fire questions, which all of them were wondering. The Morality they are familiar with banished them because he disagreed with their function and methods. 

**[Thomas]: Now, what else should I do to properly grow up?**

**[Logan]: Well, let's re-examine your habits and see where we can make some improvements. You can't stay up until 3- or 5 - a.m. every night. Your current sleep schedule is unhealthy. You should be in bed at precisely 10 p.m.**

**[Roman]: You need to eat healthy in order to maintain beauty! And to, you know, be healthy. That's important too. No sweets or guilty pleasures. Only broccoli, brussels sprouts, carrots-**

**[Thomas]: Ca-uh, carrots?**

**[Roman]: YES, carrots. And beef, pork, chicken, mmm...**

**[Anxiety]: No Mulan lyrics right now, man. Come on.**

Keep them on track of tearing Morality down. Honestly, the Shadow family is loving this. They love seeing the one who hurt them, who beat them down and banished them, brought down by the same hate he spewed at them so long ago. Even if it is scripted. 

**[Roman]: So be it. [drum beat plays] Greens, greens, nothing but greens...**

**[Anxiety]: Into the Woods is not better!**

**[Logan]: You can read whatever you want, but you don't. So, maybe start looking into reading for entertainment instead of what you normally do. In fact, let's just cut out Parks & Recreation altogether.**

**[Morality]: Ahh...!**

**[Logan]: He's already seen it.**

**[Roman]: You need to do chores as soon as you are able to. That means wash your filthy shirt, you heathen!**

**[Logan]: While a decision can be fun, it can also be...stupid, and should thus be avoided.**

***new scene***

**[Joan]: Hey, Darude Sanderstorm! There's a bouncy castle out back! You wanna come? It's pretty lit.**

**[Thomas]: No, I would not like to bounce in a bouncy castle. I could trip and injure myself.**

**[Joan]: Hm, a fair point. Your logical decision-making truly is a positive influence on your companions.**

**[Thomas]: Let us instead start a book club.**

**[Joan]: Yes!**

***end scene***

**[Anxiety]: Wow. Who's the fanciful one here?**

“I also can’t believe what my eyes just saw,” Remus says dramatically. 

**[Logan]: It's Roman.**

**[Anxiety]: OK, Pocket Protector.**

**[Logan]: And you don't need to call your parents, ever.**

**[Morality]: WHAT!?**

**[Roman]: You are an adult! You can manage everything yourself!**

**[Anxiety]: They never understood you anyway.**

“Emo nightmare for the win!” Remus twirls. 

**[Morality]: Okay, this is getting a little bit...extreme.**

**[Logan]: Sure, some of these scenarios may not be verisimilitudinous, but...**

**[Thomas]: Try again.**

**[Logan]: Sure, some of these scenarios may not seem realistic, but in time―with effort―it can become a reality.**

**[Roman]: And it will make dream-chasing all the more possible!**

**[Logan]: Of course, you can't just wear anything you want.**

**[Thomas]: This smelly shirt's not cutting it?**

**[Roman]: No.**

**[Anxiety]: You need all dark clothing…**

Virgil is intentionally not helping anyone, not Creativity and Logic, not Morality, and certainly not Thomas. He is as close to a neutral party as this discussion is ever going to get. A chaotic neutral party is probably a more apt description. 

**[Logan]: No... You're a serious adult, and you need to dress like one. You'll wear a belt, tuck your shirt in, and you'll wear…a necktie.**

**[Morality]: -gasps- Not the necktie!**

**-dramatic music plays-**

***new scene***

**-Thomas gets changed montage-**

***end scene***

**-music stops abruptly-**

**[Thomas]: Good?**

**[Morality]: Noooo!**

**[Roman]: I'm not sure if this outfit fits you.**

**[Thomas]: Wha- is the shirt too tight?**

**[Roman]: No, too square.**

**[Thomas]: Okay.**

**[Anxiety]: You are the man.**

**[Thomas]: Oh, well, that's kind of you, Anxiety-**

**[Anxiety]: No, you look like The Man. I fight The Man. I wanna fight you now.**

“Kinda funny he says that. Anxiety is concerned with societal norms, and would be more likely to  _ not _ fight The Man, but Paranoia is about survival, and, if it would benefit him, would fight The Man,” Remus says in one breath, “and yet, it fits with his character.”

**[Thomas]: Whoa, whoa...**

**[Logan]: This...this is just my look. You stole my look.**

**[Thomas]: What are you-!? You TOLD me to dress this way!**

**[Logan]: Well, I didn't think we would look so similar. Plus, I wear it so much better than you, objectively.**

**[Thomas]: What are you talking about? We have the same face!**

**[Logan]: Ah, but you aren't peering through a styling -dabs- pair of Warby Parkers.**

**[Morality]: Thomas, you...don't look like yourself.**

**[Thomas]: That's "Mr. Sanders," and this is who I am now.**

**[Anxiety]: Is no one going to acknowledge that he just dabbed?**

“I also am not confused,” Janus says, looking over at Remus, who is actually frozen in shock.

**[Morality]: But you're giving up all the things that you love!**

**[Thomas]: I can't keep going moment to moment doing whatever I want because I'm not getting what I want long term. Nobody wants to work...but we have to. Doing exactly what I want all the time, I- It's leading to a very unproductive lifestyle.**

**[Morality]: But...**

**[Thomas]: I'm doing this for both of us! This is the only way to achieve my goals. Once I have everything I want...then we'll both be happy.**

**[Logan]: That's right- wait, what do you mean? Is this new lifestyle not filling you with enjoyment?**

**[Thomas]: No, but it will...eventually...hopefully…**

**[Logan]: I...I don't...think we have this...quite right. Morality? What are we doing… wrong?**

“And here’s the ‘redemption’ for Creativity and Logic for being dicks,” Remus says, rolling his eyes in tandem with Janus. 

**[Morality]: Well...I do think you're trying to do what's right… but life shouldn't be lived without enjoying the simple pleasures from time to time! Goals are great, but...life is short! Might as well make it short and fantastic! Like Danny DeVito...**

**[Thomas]: Wait a minute... yeah. If I'm not happy doing what I'm doing...is it worth it?**

**[Roman]: If you're not enjoying it, it would be very hard for me to gain inspiration and do my job.**

**[Anxiety]: It would give me more work to do, and I do not like to work hard.**

“That much isn’t true,” Janus says for Virgil to hear. 

**[Thomas]: I can't sacrifice everything you bring to the table! The things that I love, the things that make me feel good, the things that make me laugh… the things that make life worth it! Just to work towards...something, I don't even know what- to try to fit in with what I think others are doing at my age...**

**[Logan]: I do... believe that you are right. But now we're back where we started!**

**[Thomas]: Not necessarily. I can't go moment to moment listening to everything you want me to do. I really do need a more consistent schedule in order to stay healthy and productive. BUT, I will always make time for the things that I enjoy, and any time I'm feeling overwhelmed, or just need a break...I know who to turn to.**

**[Morality]: Danny DeVito.**

**[Thomas]: Well, you're not wrong about that, but I meant you.**

**[Morality]: -gasps- Awwww!**

**[Thomas]: So, OFF with this tie!**

**[Logan]: Careful with it, careful!**

**[Thomas]: And come to think of it, we need to keep in mind how much Morality contributes? He's the reason I started making videos in the first place, and see what dreams were accomplished from that?**

“He was? I thought it was Roman’s idea?” Remus asks, confused.

“It was, but Morality gave Thomas the kick he needed to actually do it,” Virgil whispers back quickly when the others aren’t looking. 

**[Roman]: That is... Wow, I am ashamed of myself!**

**[Logan]: I do not like being wrong.**

**[Anxiety]: I was gonna bring that up...but it would have been too much work.**

**[Morality]: Well, sometimes I lead you in the right direction. Oh! Mr. Sanders?**

**[Thomas]: We're back to Thomas. That name was never gonna stick.**

“Called it,” Remus crows, prompting Janus to wrap two of his gloved hands around Remus’ mouth to shut him up for a while. Remus tries licking, but he forgot that Janus wears gloves, so it was ineffective. 

**[Morality]: Thomas! I do think I have something in mind to help keep the balance between productive and fun. Something that makes you feel a little bit more mature, but still keeping the spirit of your inner child alive.**

**[Thomas]: Love it, love it!**

**[Morality]: This is your apartment, your personal space, and the place where you just like to have your downtime. Well, how about you construct a cozy little Mind Palace to help you regain balance, work things out, and get things done whenever you need to?**

**[Thomas]: That...could work.**

**[Morality]: Roman, you mind lending a hand?**

**[Roman]: I like where you're going with this! Mind Palace, ho~!**

**[Thomas]: Whoa.**

**[Logan]: It's a little too, um...basic.**

**[Morality]: Yeah.**

**[Anxiety]: My eyes!**

It is far too bright in Thomas’ normal living room for someone used to the darkness of the shadow mindscape, much less here, in a blank space of the lighter side imagination. At least when Remus draws a blank, it’s just void, not this blinding whiteness. 

**[Roman]: Sorry, I seem to have drawn a blank for a second. Let me try again.**

**[Thomas]: That's… better.**

**[Roman]: Ah, perfection! I am too good.**

**[Logan]: This… is… adequate.**

**[Morality]: Yeah, we each got our own little handy nooks! Even made one for you, Anxiety.**

**[Anxiety]: Thanks for noticing me.**

It really speaks to how well they know Anxiety that his corner is totally empty. 

**[Thomas]: Morality, amazing idea! I love this.**

**[Roman]: Um, excuse me―I did the hard labor.**

**[Thomas]: Oh, you're right. Thank you.**

**[Roman]: But also: yes, good work Morality.**

**[Anxiety]: Small, dark and empty, like the cavity where my heart would be... if I had one.**

**[Logan]: Yes, I suppose you did provide a suitable upgrade from our previous setting.**

**[Morality]: Now we're in the perfect space to work out our issues! So, let's hear it! Who wants to go first?**

**[Roman]: I think we got it all figured out.**

**[Logan]: Yeah, I'm done.**

**[Anxiety]: Happy birthday.**

“Out of all of them, the villain is the one who doesn’t remember to wish Thomas happy birthday,” Janus sneers. 

**[Thomas]: Oh, thank you.**

**[Morality]: Uh, okay, alright, cool, see you guys later.**

**[Thomas]: Uh, before you go, I... do want to let you know how grateful I am that no matter how old I've gotten, you've still been such a huge part of my life, Morality.**

**[Morality]: D'awwww, you're gonna make me all emotional! I'm glad we could come to a compromise. Like adults! How about a good old game of Patton-cake to celebrate?**

**[Thomas]: ...You mean patty cake.**

**[Morality]: Well, it's like patty cake, but this version is named after me.**

**[Thomas]: Oh my gosh! Your name is Patton-cake!**

**[Morality]: Y- No, it's just Patton.**

**[Thomas]: Yeah, that makes more sense. Wow!**

**[Patton]: Tell you what, you let that sink in, and I will sink out… to get the tuna fish. It's required for Patton-cake.**

“What?” all three of the Shadows ask, Virgil having joined them when he sank out. 

**[Thomas]: Oh. Okay. Well, as I stand here scared for what that's going to be like, let me just close by saying growing older is something you should never be scared of. It will bring new responsibilities, but those responsibilities don't necessarily mean sacrificing the things that have always brought a smile to your face. Don't abandon that inner child. Pursue the things you're passionate about because, by doing so, you may be growing older, but you don't have to completely grow up. Until next time, take it easy, guys, gals, and non-binary pals! PEACE OUT! **

**[Thomas]: Before we go to the end card, I want to note that recently I was given the honor of receiving the Shorty Award for Best YouTube Comedian, and I want to thank all of you out there for… your continual support and all who voted for me. I'm just blown away and overwhelmed by all the support. It just... it really encourages me to keep going with these videos, and, uh… I'm having fun with them, and I just... I can't wait to see what comes next, so thank you all so much, I love you. Yeah, and I just hope that I can keep making you smile!**

***end card***

**[Patton]: Okay, I got the tuna fish! Logan, you have the two tennis rackets?**

**[Logan]: Yes, for some reason...?**

**[Patton]: And Roman, you've dipped all your fingers in candle wax?**

**[Roman]: Yes, it was very hot!**

**[Patton]: And Anxiety, you...**

**[Anxiety]: No, I didn't. Whatever you asked me to do, I didn't do it.**

He wasn’t asked to do anything, so he is mildly confused. 

**[Patton]: ...are standing there sulking in a corner, yes! Look at what a good job he's doing, everyone! Alright, we're all set! Now, get ready, because, on this ride, you will get wet.**

**[Logan]: What!?**

**[Roman]: WHAT ARE WE DOING?!**

“Was that just for the video, or did you actually make up a game called Patton-cake?” Anxiety asks with a sneer as he pops into the kitchen after the others. 

“I did! But it doesn’t actually include the tennis rackets, candle wax, or getting wet,” Morality replies happily. 

“You mean I didn’t have to dip my fingers in candle wax?!?” Creativity gasps dramatically, “Betrayed! By my own friend!”

“Oh, you’re fine. We’re not real, we can’t get hurt,” Anxiety sneers. This much is true in Virgil’s experience. The sides could feel pain, but no injury lasts longer than a few seconds, and the pain is far less for them than it is for Thomas or any other human. 

“Maybe not for you, but I can!” Creativity declares. 

“Wait, you can?” Anxiety asks, looking to Logic to clarify.

“We can, injuries can last a few days, less than a human, sure, but it depends on the severity of the injury. We don’t feel as much pain as Thomas, about half of what a human feels, but it can still be quite a bit,” Logic explains. 

“Huh, I’d never thought of it like that before,” Anxiety says, mind whirling but not giving anything away. He tunes out the rest of the meeting, commenting where appropriate but not really paying attention. 

When he gets back, Virgil immediately tells the others what he learned. 

“Not interesting,” Janus muses, “that we don’t have a higher healing factor and a lower pain response.”

“Maybe it’s because we forced it to catch up to our training levels, so we heal faster and don’t feel as much because we’ve forced our bodies to adapt?” Remus offers. 

“That does seem likely,” Virgil agrees, but the scaly side still looks thoughtful.

“I won’t have to test that,” Janus mutters. Virgil and Remus exchange amused glances. Of course Deceit would be obsessed with finding out the truth, he and Logic had actually gotten along well before Morality forced him out. Deceit always wanted to know the truth of things and Logic simply just wanted to know, so they made a great research team once upon a time. 

“Alright, ya’ll, time for bed,” Remus decides before Janus could get too caught up in theories. The three slept well, in their gigantic shared bed, happy with their progress so far. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed!


	16. Musings of the Conflicted, the Wrathful, the Traitor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another interlude! Logan gets his chance to shine! 
> 
> BTW, this chapter was only supposed to be 3 pages at most. Patton had more feelings than expected, Roman wanted to hog the spotlight for as long as possible, and gave me writer's block to do it, and Logan pulled his section way off track from what I had originally planned. So, this chapter is almost 5000 words, and is 8 pages, single spaced, in google docs. 
> 
> Also, do remember that this is from the various light sides' pov. They don't have the full picture, so some of the things from their perspective are blatantly untrue. However, the Shadows also don't have the full picture, either, so some of the things they say or think are also not reality. Unreliable narrator for the win!

Patton had been feeling guilty for a while now. 

It wasn’t obvious, he makes sure of that, more for the others than himself, but still. He had been feeling guilty about how he acted when they were younger since college, and especially since Anxiety showed up. It is obvious to Patton how much the banishment had hurt Anxiety, had damaged him possibly beyond repair. Patton does regret banishing Anxiety before giving him a Name, but he just reacted on impulse. That’s no excuse, but it might be an explanation, he hopes. Now, if only he could find Anxiety to explain. 

The younger side disappears after every video, only reluctantly staying long enough for the debriefs that Logan insists on. He’s visibly wary around Roman, tense around Patton, and only seems even remotely comfortable with Logan. Although Patton is sure it isn't true, Anxiety even seems weaker than the three main sides. Well, not weaker, but more inexperienced, like no one taught him the things they take for granted, like the pain tolerance thing. 

And yet, there are times that Patton doubts his own eyes. Times when he can almost see Anxiety smirking maliciously, times when he can almost hear Anxiety whispering to someone. For the most part, Patton brushes off these little things as simply his conscience trying to reconcile his childhood decisions with the man he sees today, but sometimes he wonders. Anxiety has given them no reason to trust him, and, for that reason, Patton trusts him. If Anxiety is up to something, wouldn’t he try to make them trust him? Patton wants to help Anxiety, get him away from the others he banished once upon a time, as it doesn't seem like they did a good job raising him. Patton wants to fix his mistake, but Anxiety doesn’t seem to want help. He’ll snap and hiss at anyone even hinting at such a thing, defensive immediately and willing to bite. 

Patton isn’t certain of anything anymore. When they were younger, he had a very black and white view of the world. You were either right or wrong, no in between. Now, he isn’t sure anymore. He’s seen people to the right things for the wrong reasons and the wrong things for the right reasons, and he’s seen people who have an entirely different moral compass than his. Who’s to say what is right anymore? 

Despite what the others think, Patton is intelligent, just not in the same way as Logan, who is book smart, or Roman, who has an intelligence of creation. No, Patton is wise, in the way that only Morality can be. He can find deeper meanings in simple situations, and life lessons in a drive to work. He is the one who can find the right choice in any given situation, but… he isn’t sure what the right move is here. 

Patton doesn’t regret banishing the others, but, at the same time, he does. He knows that it was a cruel thing to do, and something that could have been handled better, but also something that made Thomas a better person, he thinks. Again, Patton isn’t sure anymore. 

“Hello, my dear. What has you frowning today?” Roman asks, swanning into the room. 

“Oh, nothing, Roman, nothing important,” Patton says quickly. He doesn’t like lying, but he knows that Roman would not take kindly to his musings, quick to anger as the royal side is. 

“Are you sure? It seemed serious,” Roman asks. 

“It was, but I don’t think you would be able to help, Ro,” Patton replies, “You didn’t exist then.”

“What do you mean?” Roman asks, confused now, “I’m one of the oldest three sides, aren’t I?”

“Sort of. Creativity was, but this was before you and your brother split. I don’t know how much you remember of the time before you split,” Patton tells him, a bit apprehensive. 

“Split? You mean from my brother?” Roman seems to be confused. 

“Yeah, when Creativity split apart and you and your twin were the result,” Patton clarifies. 

“Oh, you mean from Romulus!” Roman exclaims. 

“Was that his name?” Patton whispers, feeling even more guilty than before. A name makes it more real that he had killed a person. 

“Pat? What’s wrong? You just froze on me!” Roman panics slightly, not seeing a small shadow move in the corner. 

“Sorry,” Patton shakes himself out of his stupor, “That just surprised me. I didn’t know he had a name!”   
“Yeah, my brother and I don’t agree on anything except that, that who we were should have a name, and we decided on Romulus,” Roman explains, once again oblivious to the discomfort on Patton’s face, before pressing “So, what were you thinking about before?”

“I was thinking about Anxiety, and how little I remember of him before he was banished,” Patton says, watching Roman carefully for his reaction, “He was banished before you split, so I don’t know how much you remember.”

“Not much actually,” Roman replies, pushing his anger down for now, “ I didn’t even know the emo nightmare was banished, I just thought the others spawned down wherever they are now.”   
“No, all sides form here, in the main mindscape. It’s my job to determine if they are good or bad for Thomas and banish them if I have to,” Patton explains, “I’m just wondering if I made the right choice.”

“Of course you did! Why are you doubting yourself now?” Roman tries to be reassuring. 

“I banished Anxiety initially because he had the power to, even just momentarily, take over Thomas’ actions in a way that we can’t, and that scared me. Thinking back, though, Anxiety only used that power once, to pull Thomas out of the way of a speeding car when he wandered into the street. I just wonder if I made a bad decision out of fear, and now have no chance of fixing my mistake,” Patton gushes, glad to have someone to vent to. 

“I’m not sure it matters now, Heart. What’s done is done, and we can only move forward, even if we wish to move back,” Roman tries to be comforting, “We can try to fix our mistakes, but trust takes two people, and I’m not sure doom and gloom will ever trust any of us, certainly not me, but I don’t trust him, either, so it’s fair.”

“Thanks, Roman. I think I may just take that advice,” Patton says, seeming much happier now. Inside, he is already planning what he could do to get Anxiety to trust him. 

Roman doesn’t like how much he liked Anxiety. 

It isn’t the opposites attract, no, he and Anxiety are actually too much alike for that to be it. No, Roman admires Anxiety for how he handles any situation. Sure, some of them might be overreactions, but he always has an immediate suggestion to solve any given problem as soon as any of them learn that there is one. Roman is supposed to be the ideas, the Creativity, and yet it is Anxiety who seems to have ideas flowing out of his mouth every time he speaks. It doesn’t help, either, that it had been Anxiety who helped Roman fight the corruption that turned him into Pride, temporarily corrupting himself in the process, though Roman didn’t have a Name for the other Side at that time. Roman still has no idea how Anxiety managed to beat Terror, all he knows is that it took a week for Anxiety to fight off the corruption, presumably by himself. 

Though he would never admit it to anyone, and barely to himself, Roman is also somewhat jealous of Anxiety. The emo trait has a better relationship with Roman’s brother than Roman will ever have. Despite protestations otherwise, Roman does love his brother, misses him fiercely, but, every time they meet up, they just end up arguing, fighting, hurting each other. He hates it, but he doesn’t know how to change it, so they’re stuck in the loop of hatred while Roman can’t say a thing, just watch as Remus descends further and further into madness. And, despite everything, Roman can’t be mad at Patton. As soon as Patton saw what the separation did to Roman and Remus, he tried his best to put them back together, though it was impossible at the time. After he banished Remus, Patton regret it immediately after Deceit showed up to take him away. Roman had a lot of anger that he didn’t know how to deal with, and ends up taking it out on the first, most obvious villain he saw. 

So, Roman isn’t sure how to feel about Anxiety. He is worried about what Anxiety’s appearance might mean, jealous of his relationship with Remus, angry at him for all that he represents, and angry at how similar they are, but how much better Anxiety seems to have it despite being banished. Roman hates that Anxiety somehow managed to find a family among the banished when the main three sides were barely even friends for a very long time. All of these emotions just end up in a witch’s brew, and what comes out is a draught of hatred, both of himself and of Anxiety, and a lot of friction during videos. Despite that, Roman does want a better relationship with Anxiety, if only because Remus loves the other trait, and Roman would do anything for his brother, even if Remus hates him. 

Roman walks away from the kitchen, his conversation with Patton spinning in his head. Patton did bring up some good points, even if Roman didn’t remember it. To be honest, Roman only remembered impressions of his time as King Creativity, sensations of being complete, but also of fear, as though one misstep would have dire consequences. Roman had dismissed those feelings before, but now, after what Patton said, he isn’t so sure. It sounds like all of them, dark and light alike, lived in fear of Patton’s judgement. From what Remus occasionally let slip, though, Roman thinks the banished sides might have gotten the better deal, even though his memories of Patton only showed him as the goofy dad and not the strict tyrant Remus made him out to be. 

Roman stops at the door to his room, turns around, and walks over to Logan’s room. Maybe the logical side will be able to help. Tentatively, Roman knocks on the door. 

Logan is deep in thought when he hears the knock. 

“Come in,” he calls, wondering. No one comes into his room; actually, none of them usually enter each other’s rooms, whether or not they have an invitation. So you can imagine his surprise when Roman opens the door and peeks his head in. Neither notice the small spider dart in.

“Hey, you got a second?” Roman asks, uncharacteristically subdued. 

“Indeed I do, how can I help you?” Logan replies, spinning his chair to face his bed, where Roman now sits. 

“Too many thoughts in my head, need an impartial judge, and the subject would just upset Patton,” Roman mumbles, just loud enough for Logan to hear. 

“Alright, I will do what I can,” Logan says, understanding the occasional need to vent. 

“First, can I ask a question?” Roman asks, “I get if it’s personal or if you don’t want to answer.” Logan nods, so Roman continues, “What happened before I existed? When my brother and I were the same person? Patton was talking about banishing Anxiety, but I don’t remember much of my time as King Creativity.”

“Oh, well...That is a heavy topic,” Logan blinks, thinking, “First, you must understand that we were children, and Patton was, for the most part, the one in charge. Children act on empathy, on feelings, on imagination, not so much on logic, so I had far less power then than I do now. With that in mind, please do not condemn Patton overmuch. I know he regrets what happened.”

Seeing Logan pausing for breath, Roman interrupts, “So, it was all bad?”

“No, it was, for the most part, relatively good. The trouble started when Thomas forgot to do his homework one day in second grade. In order to protect himself, a new fragment gained enough power to become a side: Deceit. For a time, Patton and Deceit were actually good friends, and I myself enjoyed having debates with him on anything and everything. However, Patton began to disapprove of Deceit’s constant lying, despite the fact that he could not help it,” Logan explains, stopping to get a drink of water.

“Couldn’t help it?” Roman asks, head tilted. 

“Deceit, true to his name, can only speak in lies when outside of his room. If you ever have the chance to talk to him, just interpret his words as if it is opposite day,” Logan tells him, “Continuing, Patton steadily grew more and more angry, seeing Deceit as firmly in the bad side of morality, simply because he could not speak the truth, and, eventually, banished him, effectively cutting him off from the main mindscape, forcing him to go back to the other fragments, Wrath, Lust, Envy, etc, despite being a side. I am ashamed, now, that I didn’t do anything, and I truly have no excuse other than that I was also afraid. At the time, logic lead me to think that Patton could and would do the same thing to me if I stepped out of line at all or spoke out against him, so I said nothing as my friend was banished, and, later, as a new side was banished after a few days of existence without even a name.”

Roman, thoroughly hooked on the story now, breathes, “Was that Anxiety?”

“Yes, the child was Anxiety. He showed up a few days before a major test in third grade, prompting Thomas to study when Thomas was not listening to me. Intrigued, I did try to get to know him, but the incident happened just days later. After school, Thomas was walking home, and crossed the street without looking. He was almost run over, and he owes his life to Anxiety, even if he does not know it. However, to do so, Anxiety shouted. It was as if there were seven other people speaking in tandem with him, all loud and with deep voices.” Logan is interrupted by a noise of comprehension from Roman. 

“That’s what he was talking about!” At the inquiring look that Logan gives him, Roman elaborates, “My brother was saying just the other day that Anxiety could do something he called a Tempest Tongue, where anyone who heard it could hear his voice, his instructions, and nothing else.”

“Yes, that sounds about right,” Logan replies, then continues, “In addition to the Tempest Tongue, Anxiety was also able to take temporary control of Thomas to jerk him out of the way of the moving car, saving his life and terrifying Patton. At the time, Anxiety did not even have a Name, and Deceit showed up to collect Anxiety when Patton told him to leave. I presume that Anxiety has been living with Deceit and possibly your brother, as well as the fragments, since then. I have tried to get in contact with both of them over the years, but I cannot find the lower mindscape and I have never gotten a reply. As for you and your brother, King Creativity, as you call him, was a truly chaotic entity. He had all of the same ideas that both you and your brother have, with his manic energy and your penchant for heroism. He was kind, surprisingly intelligent, and even more, ah, extra than the both of you combined. King raised too many crazy ideas, such as electrocuting Thomas’ brother or jumping out of a moving car, and Patton grew frightened that Thomas would actually listen to one of those suggestions, the last of which was a semi-morbid inquiry into the anatomy of a unicorn and how it would differ from a horse. Patton grew, I can only describe it as blind with rage and/or fear, raised his hands, and literally ripped King apart. Right side was you, Roman, the one with good ideas who was allowed to stay. Left side was Remus, the one with bad ideas who was banished with Deceit and Anxiety. As an interesting coincidence, both of them were there that day. They showed up just seconds before it happened, Deceit trying to stop Patton from splitting King. Anxiety, as I recall, just looked scared, hiding behind Deceit and avoiding eye contact with anyone, but especially Patton. Your brother and Anxiety seemed to get along well, with Anxiety tempering your brother’s more deadly ideas.”

“Huh,” Roman says. It’s the only thing he can think to say, really. Logan just dropped an info bomb on him, and now his thoughts are even more tangled. 

“Indeed, it was quite an interesting time. Patton now does regret what he did. He understands now that the world is not black and white, as much as he would like it to be, but, as I said, none of our attempts to communicate have gotten through, and Patton was reluctant to ask you to give a message to your brother for reasons he did not explain to me. If he could, he would apologize, both to Anxiety and to all of the others, but Anxiety is careful not to be alone in a room with any of us, except for once, when he was alone with me. He does seem more comfortable with me than with you or Patton,” Logan explains, “I hope that I have answered your question sufficiently. What thoughts did you need help untangling?”

Roman goes on to explain all of his thoughts on Anxiety, how he hates him, likes him, pities him, and is jealous of him all at once. He rants on for a solid hour, with Logan only occasionally interjecting to ask for clarification or provide additional information to put a situation in context. At the end, Roman feels better, like his thoughts are more organized, but no closer to a plan of action than when he started. Still, Roman thanks Logan, stands, and leaves to do whatever he does. Before Logan can turn back to his work, however, someone else makes their presence known. 

“I thought he’d never leave,” Anxiety says from the bed, right where Roman was sitting just minutes prior. 

Jumping in shock, Logan whirls around, “How long have you— ?”

“The whole time. And I won’t tell you how, either, not yet,” Anxiety smirks. Logan notices that Anxiety is acting unusually confident, in a way he usually doesn’t during videos and other interaction. 

“Well, what can I help you with, Anxiety?” Logan asks, still confused but wanting answers. 

“It’s Paranoia,” the dark trait corrects, “and I’m here because you said you wanted to talk with either me or Deceit. So, talk.”

“Paranoia?” Logan asks, “Is that your name or your Name?”

“It’s my Name, Deceit gave it to me; after all, I didn’t have one before I was banished. Thomas just assumed I was Anxiety, and I went with it,” Paranoia shrugs nonchalantly, looking at his black-painted nails. Truly, Remus is good at nail painting for someone who can’t sit still. 

It was then that Logan notices something, and he honestly cannot fathom how he had missed them before, “Do you normally have a form with eight eyes?”

“Yep. Not for videos, obviously, but Deceit, Green, and I are all comfortable in part-human forms. The eyes are just what I’m feeling right now. Sometimes I’ve got spider legs, most of the time the fangs and eyes, and sometimes the spineret if I wanna make a web,” Paranoia volunteers, hoping to create some goodwill with the logical side. 

“I must say, if this is your normal personality, then I commend you on your acting skills,” Logan probes a bit. Paranoia just shrugs. 

“We can all act just as well as Thomas, not just Red. Red just uses it more,” Paranoia replies. 

“Oh, that was my other question, but I was distracted by the eyes. Red? Green?” Logan asks. 

“Red is your Creativity, Green is ours. They’re both Creativity, and Green, like myself and Deceit, doesn’t have a human name as far as I know,” Paranoia explains. 

“That does make sense, I suppose. Are you going to get human names now that you know it is an option?” 

“Maybe. I will, the fans will require it for videos, and I’m sure Green will just to piss off Red, but I dunno about Deceit. He might not want one. Anyway, you wanted to talk?” Paranoia tries to get the conversation back on track. 

“Yes, would you be willing to call Deceit and Green or take me down to them? I want to apologize to all of you, and it may be easier to do it all at once,” Logan requests. 

“You… were serious about that part,” Paranoia asks cautiously. 

“I was. What I did was stand by and watch as Patton did something unforgivable on three separate occasions that I know of. That makes me just as guilty of any harm caused to any of you, harm that I sincerely wished to avoid,” Logan says.

Paranoia thinks on this for a minute, then says, “Lemme check if the others are up for visitors,” and pops out. A second later he pops back in, grumbling something about the other two not paying attention, grabs Logan’s arm, and pops out. 

Logan is not used to this particular method of travel; it was unique to Paranoia and he taught the other Shadows. Thus, it is no surprise that Logan falls flat on his face upon landing. 

Upon righting himself, Logan observes that they are in a hallway, with a grey door in front of them and, further down, multiple doors of purple, yellow, and green, presumably the others’ rooms. 

“Green and Yellow didn’t respond when I asked if I could bring you down, so you’re a surprise for them, Indigo,” Paranoia says, one hand on the door. 

“Indigo?” Logan asks.

“Well, yeah, if we go by the theory that Thomas subconsciously gave us our colors based on the colors of the rainbow, then you’re Indigo because Morality’s blue. I call Green and Red by their colors if I’m talking about them, it makes sense to call everyone else by colors, too,” Paranoia explains, pushing open the door.

“Yellow! Green! Got a surprise for you~!” Paranoia shouts as everyone freezes. Logan blinks. He had not expected to see Creativity (the green one) hanging from the ceiling by… are those tentacles?... holding a mace above Deceit’s head. Nor had he expected to see Deceit, with half of his face covered in scales, holding a whip about to steal the mace out of Green’s hand. Logan is certain that the looks of surprise on the others’ faces mirrors his own. Paranoia snickers in the background, then takes a picture. 

Deceit recovers first, “Well, Paranoia did say you’d be dropping in, Logic,” he says as he puts the whip away somewhere in his cape, beckons Green down from the ceiling, glares at Paranoia, and shakes Logan’s hand.

“Oh, shut up, I came in to tell you, but you two were too busy to listen to me,” Paranoia says indignantly. 

“I myself was unaware that this visit was a possibility until a moment ago,” Logan replies, ignoring how Green is now hanging off of Paranoia and how Paranoia doesn’t seem to mind. 

“Well, it isn’t a pleasure to meet you again, Logic,” Deceit continues, “My name isn’t Janus.”

Logan frowns, “But Paranoia said you didn’t have names?”

“No,” Paranoia corrects, “I said that I didn’t have a name, which was a lie, and I only implied that the other two do not, or at least that I didn’t know their names. But, please, call me Virgil.”

“And I’m Remus!” Green interjects proudly, “Picked that one to fuck with Roman.”

“How long have you all had names?” Logan asks. 

“Oh, definitely not since Roman came up with the idea,” Janus says, “Now, Virgil, love, why is Logan here?”

“I overheard an interesting conversation that he had with Roman, and he said he wants to talk again, to apologize, and possibly to make amends. I know it’s a bit early,” here Virgil looks at Remus, “but I figured that now is a good time to see if he’d be amenable to our plans, or, failing that, staying neutral.” 

“Possibly,” Janus considers, turning to Remus with a questioning look. Remus considers, tentacles waving in the air with a mind of their own, seemingly sketching out battle plans, Logan realizes as he looks closer. 

“Janus can shut him up if we have to, go ahead,” Remus finally decides. Logan is mildly offended that they think that they might need that safeguard. 

As Virgil explains the plan that Remus came up with, Logan mentally reevaluates. While he won’t need the gag order, he can now understand their caution. They relocate to the living area when it looks like Logan is about to collapse, letting him plop down onto an armchair while the other three snuggle into the couch together. After 20 solid minutes of processing, Logan comes out of his thoughts to see that Virgil has made popcorn and Remus has put on the Jungle Book, to the amusement and enjoyment of Janus. 

Reluctant to interrupt, Logan turns to watch the movie until the end, when Janus finally notices that Logan is no longer in a stupor. 

“No thanksss for joining usss,” Janus hisses, having gone a little more snakelike in the previous hours. 

“I have decided that I will, for the time being, remain neutral. I will support you on-screen if you ever need it, not enough to compromise my own position, but hopefully enough to help speed the acceptance process. However, I am not, officially, a Dark Side, as Roman calls you,” Logan says slowly, thinking over his words carefully, “I will help you to be accepted by Thomas, but, I do ask that you three try and talk to Roman and Patton, and actually listen to what they have to say, before you decide whether or not to harm them physically or banish them as they did you.”

“Wonderful!” Remus springs up, ignoring the conditions for now, “We can get you an animal form!”

“What?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed!
> 
> Just a reminder, this will be the last update until 2020, so happy holidays! Happy New Year's!


	17. Making Some Changes!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long delay, guys, I got addicted to cosplay over break.

“Based on the pattern previous and the plan for the video, this will be a tricky one for you, V, as it involves transformations,” Remus says, “We don’t know yet if any of them will accidentally get any of your spider traits when they switch with you, but we also don’t know how exactly this is going to work.”

“Got it, try and keep spider traits on the down low,” Virgil replies. 

**[Thomas]: Hello everyone―and excuse me while I work on some things here in my mind palace. It's got this really weird ECHO. *echoes of the word "echo"* It's somehow gotten WORSE. *echoes of the word "worse"* It's really annoying and LOUD-**

**[Possibly Creativity]: Listen, buddy, don't blame us because your mind is so empty.**

“OH, solid burn there, little brother,” Remus cackles. 

***logo***

**[Thomas]: What is up, everybody?! And yes, if you remember from last time, I came up with this awesome mind palace to come to reflect, meditate, and even work out some things in my life-**

**[Roman]: Um, you mean "I came up with."**

**[Patton]: And I helped!**

**[Thomas]: Yes! You are my creativity and morality, so I didn't misspeak.**

**[Roman]: Oh, I know that. I was just making sure that it was known I was the side that did the most work and deserve the most credit.**

**[Patton]: Boy! What an ass...et to your personality, am I right?**

“I always thought I would agree with Morality of all people,” Janus says. Remus and Virgil agree, all three absolutely shocked. 

**[Roman]: I didn't know you made jokes like that.**

**[Patton]: What joke did I make-**

**[Thomas]: Not important, the bottom line is I now have this new space, which is awesome! Things are changing! Evolving! Mutating… Nothing stays the same...**

**[Patton]: Uhh...**

**[Roman]: They sure don't, and you're saying it like it's a bad thing.**

“For the purposes of the video, it is,” Virgil says, gearing up for when he’s called in. 

**[Thomas]: -laughs nervously- Nah I'm fine, I'm cool. y-but you know what's cooler than being cool?**

**[All]: ICE COLD!**

**[Thomas]: Alright, alright, alright. I should've rephrased that. But, I was thinking the only thing better than being cool is being… back in my place. *snaps***

***new scene* (Thomas’ apartment)**

**[Thomas]: *snap* Ahh! Listen to that sweet, sweet non-echo.**

**[Roman]: Wait, what gives? Where are my star thingies?!**

**[Patton]: Well, this place sure looks familiar.**

**[Thomas]: Sorry, guys. The sudden change kind of freaked me out a bit.**

**[Roman]: Why?!**

**[Patton]: I mean it! Why does this place look so familiar?**

“He isn’t a dumbass,” Janus says in mild disbelief. 

**[Thomas]: Th-This is- my apartment.**

**[Roman]: You know where this is. Why are you so off today?**

**[Logan]: I'll tell you why. With sudden change, the heart tends to be...confused.**

“Nevermind, he’s not a dumbass, just depressed,” Remus comments. 

**[Patton]: Well, -chuckle- I'm always confused!**

**[Thomas]: Ain't that the truth.**

**[Logan]: Maybe I should clarify: more confused than on average.**

**[Patton]: That sounds about right! You are so smart, you could solve anything! Why don't we talk more?**

**[Logan]: Uh-oh. Feelings.**

**[Thomas]: Yup! I've become...sentimental.**

**[Roman]: You're always sentimental!**

**[Thomas]: More sentimental-**

**[Thomas, Roman, & Logan]: -than on average!**

**[Patton]: -on avalanche!**

**[Roman]: But why? Is it because of that whole growing up thing? Do we need to revisit that?**

“Please, don’t,” Virgil begs. 

**[Thomas]: No, no. It's not that- I mean- maybe that started things. I think it's the changes that've come so rapidly lately. I'm taking on new formats for videos, I'm traveling a lot more. Even my wardrobe's been slightly updated!**

**[Roman]: That all sounds flippin' sweet, man.**

**[Thomas]: It is flippin' sweet, man. I guess I'm just -sigh- getting all reminiscent over what once was...and shizz.**

**[Logan]: Well Thomas, everyone gets homesick from time to time.**

**[Patton]: Do you, Logan?**

**[Logan]: Patton, we are all fractions of Thomas' personality―that is impossible.**

Maybe not homesick, but he often did miss his old friends. He’s ecstatic to have them back, not that he shows it. 

**[Patton]: With you, I'm always home!**

**[Logan]: You need to chill out.**

**[Thomas]: I do need to chill out.**

**[Roman]: Yes, yes!**

**[Thomas]: Patton?**

**[Patton]: That's my name, don't wear it out!**

**[Thomas]: Impossible, seeing as I just learned about it in the last vlog.**

**[Patton]: Truth.**

**[Thomas]: I don't know why these changes are causing this sudden surge of emotions, but we can deal with them, and we can keep moving forward! You with me?**

**[Patton]: Yeah!**

**[Thomas]: Awesome!**

**[Roman]: Epic!**

**[Logan]: Additional affirmation.**

“Here we go,” Virgil says, popping out. 

**[Anxiety]: Wait.**

**[Thomas]: Awwww**

**[Logan]: Disappointment.**

**[Roman]: So close.**

**[Patton]: Waddup, Anxiety?**

**[Anxiety]: Just here to say, I'm on your side.**

**[Patton]: Who's side? My side? What am I arguing?**

**[Anxiety]: Quiet. Just let me do the talking.**

I can’t silence you like dear Janus can, but I can tell you to shut up, and oh does it feel good. 

**[Thomas]: Anxiety, this isn't an argument. We're all on the same side here.**

**[Anxiety]: Really? I find that hard to believe. You wonder why all these changes are throwing you off? It's the lessening of steady constants in your life.**

**[Patton]: Oh my goodness! That's right Thomas, and you are a Taurus!**

“What does that have to do with anything?” Janus wonders. Remus shrugs. 

**[Anxiety]: When you're in these new settings and situations, you know something is off.**

**[Logan]: What is?**

**[Anxiety]: Something.**

**[Logan]: You can't even give an example?**

**[Anxiety]: Something is off.**

Working together and making it look like they’re working against each other, these two are good. 

**[Thomas]: I hate it when you're just vague!**

**[Patton]: Ahh! Anxiety, what do we do?**

Well, you can go die in a hole. 

**[Logan]: Um, no. You were listening to me before. (through gritted teeth) Remember how smart I was?**

**[Anxiety]: We have a bubble. The bubble is nice here. And anything you need to do, you can get done in your familiar bubble.**

**[Roman]: That is not how dream-chasing works! Oh, I do not like you.**

**[Thomas]: I don't get it! Last time you were on my case about whether here was where I needed to be!**

**[Anxiety]: Yes, but lately-**

**[Thomas]: Are you just trying to counter everything I do?**

**[Anxiety]: No! It's j-**

Now, everyone interrupts, and Anxiety must shout to be heard. Just like old times. 

**[Thomas]: Then what-**

**[Anxiety]: Your friends! You're always away from your...friends.**

**[Patton]: Ahh! That's why I've been feeling more confused than beverage!**

**[Logan]: Average.**

**[Patton]: No I'm not!**

**[Thomas]: You...care about whether or not I'm around my friends?**

**[Anxiety]: Look, let's not read into this and make it any more angsty than it has to be. We all know that I'm a bit-**

**[Roman]: Dismal.**

Not really. 

**[Logan]: Monochromatic.**

Only as Anxiety.

**[Patton]: Spicy!**

What?

**[Anxiety]: Whatever! And your really good friends… They...help me out… They provide constancy.**

**[Thomas]: Aww, okay fine. You and Morality have a point.**

**[Logan]: No.**

**[Roman]: No!**

**[Logan]: Possible alliance?**

Gotta make sure the fight seems even, even if it is mostly scripted. 

**[Roman]: Sure! Nerd.**

**[Logan]: Great! Halfwit. Thomas. Yes, friends are a positive and I can appreciate having them in your life, even though they encourage nonsensical and unsafe behavior. They also can help your overall mental health and well-being.**

**[Roman]: But they're not going anywhere!**

**[Anxiety]: You don't know that.**

They could die tomorrow, and we don’t know that won’t happen. 

**[Roman]: Yes I do, shut up. They're not waiting on you to pursue their dreams, so you mustn't wait on them!**

**[Anxiety]: They could be gone at any moment. Maybe all this traveling is giving them the impression you don't need them anymore.**

They could leave you, so very easily, and then that stability is gone. 

**[Thomas]: Noooo! That's not true!**

**[Patton]: (worried noises)**

**[Logan]: Uh, we're losing them! C'mon, you're the creative one.**

Feeding the ego, good job, Logan. 

**[Roman]: Uhhh... AH! What if his friends never leave?**

**[Logan]: Unrealistic.**

**[Roman]: What if some of his friends take his sides?**

**[Logan]: Why did I think it was a good idea to join forces with you?**

Of course Logan knows exactly where Roman is going with this, but he doesn’t like to shapeshift, so he’ll delay it as long as he can without seeming like he is. 

**[Roman]: *groans* *snap***

***ding***

**[Thomas]: You guys can shapeshift.**

Oh, boy, here we go. 

**[Roman]: There we go.**

**[Logan]: Ahh... yes.**

**[Roman]: Being mental projections of your own personality, it kinda makes sense, don't it?**

**[Thomas]: Perfect! You guys can take on the forms of my friends, and I can have you with me! No matter where I go!**

**[Anxiety]: Uhh…**

Even if there isn’t a risk of the others discovering Virgil’s animal form, Anxiety would still be against changing himself for others, even if it helps him fit in. 

**[Logan]: If this will help, I am more than willing to participate. Which friend shall I be?**

**[Thomas]: Uhh, easy! You're inquisitive, rational, and clever. You're gonna be Joan.**

Not quite a solid fit, but probably the best one they’ll get. 

**[Logan]: (as Joan) Huh, interesting.**

**[Roman]: Nice!**

**[Logan]: My face is immediately scratchier.**

**[Patton]: (muffled excitedly) Oh my goodness, that's so cute!**

**[Thomas]: Patton, you're a goofball with a heart of gold, so you're going to be Terrence.**

Maybe only on the surface. 

**[Patton]: (as Terrence) Oof! Terrific!**

**[Logan]: Different face, same terrible humor.**

**[Patton]: Wish that was less mean but glad to have you aboard the pun train!**

**[Logan]: That wasn't on purpose.**

**[Thomas]: And, Roman-**

**[Roman]: If you don't mind Thomas, I am way ahead of you!**

**[Thomas]: Oh, okay. Valerie!**

Mildly surprising that Roman is the one who goes for the gender bend. Given the Shadows’ frequent shapeshifting, none of them have any problems with genderfluidity; hell, Lust is genderfluid and Apathy is agender. Sleep is fluidflux, and also a disaster in general. 

**[Logan]: A valorous choice.**

**[Patton]: Hello! Did I do that like Terrence?**

**[Thomas]: Pretty accurate. Why Valerie?**

**[Roman]: (as Valerie) She's a dreamer, a fellow lover of Disney… ―but mostly I just finally get to sing some princess songs! *Roman sings "I Wonder" from Snow White***

**[Anxiety]: You've got to stop her.**

**[Roman]: Excuse me, I am still a man. A manly man! A man who is manly!**

Still using masculine pronouns despite the female body? Maybe there is more to Princey than they think on the regards to the shapeshifting front. He seems to understand the solid grounding needed in your own body and personality needed to shapeshift effectively. You have to know yourself to change yourself, right?

**[Logan]: Alright Roman, calm down. We're all still the same aspects of Thomas' personality, so "he/him" pronouns all around.**

**[Anxiety]: Alright, then. You gotta stop him.**

**[Thomas]: Anxiety...**

**[Anxiety]: No. I am not playing this game!**

Virgil doesn’t know who he’ll be when returned to his normal form. Will it be Anxiety’s form, or Paranoia’s?

**[Patton]: Aww, c'mon Anxiety. It's fun! I'm a fun guy who's fun-sized! Like Danny DeVito!!**

**[Logan]: It would behoove this exercise if all aspects took part.**

“Virgil’s quite good at pranks, Lo, are you sure you want to provoke him?” Remus needles. Logan suddenly looks a bit nervous as soon as the camera is off him, but smooths his expression out before either Patton or Roman can catch it. 

**[Anxiety]: I'm comfortable just the way I am. And besides―Thomas, this isn't gonna do any-**

Interrupted again, lovely. 

**[Thomas]: Talyn!**

**[Anxiety]: (as Talyn) W-wh-why?!**

**[Thomas]: I dunno, just similar style-**

“Ah, yes, the best reason to change someone,” Janus says, sarcasm practically dripping off his tongue. 

**[Anxiety]: Change me back. Now!**

**[Logan]: I think we can all agree that you're undeniably adorable.**

“Oh, Logan is so totally getting pranked later!” Remus crows. 

**[Anxiety]: (softly) Nooo...**

**[Roman]: I'm trying hard not to like you right now. But you are just too darn cuuute!**

**[Anxiety]: -hisses-**

**[Patton]: AWW, he's like a little kitten now!**

Oh, fuck off. 

**[Roman]: OHHHH!**

**[Logan]: That is a pleasant comparison.**

**[Thomas]: There. So now I can be comforted with the presence of my friends wherever I-**

**[Patton]: Wha-! Oh, look at this!**

It has been an accepted fact that the Sides are not to be on screen at the same time as Thomas unless it can be explained away as really good editing, but, given that none of them look like Thomas right now, Patton is taking full advantage of his newfound freedom to hug Thomas and everyone else, though only Thomas gets a hug on camera. 

**[Roman]: What- ...How are you doing that?**

**[Patton]: I just walked over here! Why haven't we thought to do this before?**

**[Anxiety]: Can you stop breaking the fourth wall?**

Gotta keep pretending that we’re just Thomas and friends acting, not physical manifestations of Thomas’ traits. 

**[Logan]: It's not quite a fourth wall. It's really more of a single column―in the middle of all of us.**

**[Thomas]: I don't want to think about that, go back to your spot.**

**[Patton]: Okay, I love you!**

**[Thomas]: I love you, too.**

**[Anxiety]: I am not... O.K. with this.**

Virgil could shift back if anyone else but Thomas had shifted him, but Thomas was the one who shifted all of them except Roman. What the host wants, the host gets. 

**[Roman]: Oh deal with it, J. D.-lightful. You know. J.D.? From Heathers? I waste my best material on you.**

**[Logan]: So are you content now, Thomas? Can we close the book on your back-to-back dilemmas?**

“Ah, yes, that’s very likely,” Janus drawls. 

**[Roman]: I don't know how the series would continue if we stopped having dilemmas.**

**[Anxiety]: Easy, Meta Knight. We're recording the episode, not the DVD commentary.**

**[Logan]: Ah. See, you called him out for it, but then immediately took it more meta. Let's get back on track.**

Anything to end this sooner. Logan feels like there are ants crawling underneath his skin, and he could see Virgil having the same discomfort. Patton also seems to be fidgeting more than usual, but Roman seems unaffected, possibly due to the fact that he shifted himself. 

**[Thomas]: Yeahhh...**

**[Patton]: I think this could work! Might take a little getting used to, but you both deserve a "Patton" the back for this one!!**

**[Logan]: [sigh] Did you just make a self-referential pun?**

**[Patton]: Oh yeah! I've been waiting to do it ever since I revealed my name. Up until that point I was- "Patton pending."**

**[Logan]: Time out! You don't see me or anyone else making puns about our names. -huff-**

**[Patton]: You're right, high five!**

**[Logan]: W-We're across-**

**[Patton]: Down low!**

**[Logan]: -stuttering-**

**[Patton]: -gan.**

**[Logan]: -gan? Lo...gan. -huff- I might scream.**

**[Patton]: But 'cha can't because your volume's too low.**

**[Logan]: Don't you dare-**

**[Patton]: -gan.**

**[Logan]: You're dead to me.**

**[Thomas]: This is incredibly amusing. ...But.**

**[Roman]: But?**

**[Anxiety]: Yes, but?**

“Butts!” Remus twirls. From the slight twitch of Logan’s mouth, Virgil can tell he heard the immature side. 

**[Patton]: Hehe, butt.**

**[Thomas]: Something is just...not… Right about this.**

**[Logan]: Perhaps we're not in the right alignment.**

Logan hates bringing this up, but he knows he has to for the video. Still, he would like nothing more than to be back in his own skin. 

**[Thomas]: ...What do you mean?**

**[Logan]: It means maybe this combination of friends isn't quite, uh… "Liiit". Is that the correct usage?**

**[Thomas]: Aw, almost.**

**[Anxiety]: (muttered) You gotta be joking.**

**[Logan]: You know I'm not. Allow me to demonstrate. *whoosh***

Ok, wow, that was unsettling, the feeling of it happening as well as watching it happen. 

**[Anxiety]: (as Joan) -gasp-**

**[Logan]: (as Tayln) (Joan's voice) Perhaps- -clears throat- (Talyn's voice) Perhaps this is a better fit.**

**[Thomas]: Hmm...**

**[Anxiety]: (as Joan) Stop doing this.**

**[Patton]: AH! Oh, okay! I just LOVE Joan with eyeshadow!**

**[Thomas]: He looks like a wet bandit from Home Alone.**

**[Anxiety]: (progressively quieter) I'll wet..your...bandit.... (nearly inaudible) No, that doesn't make sense…**

Anxiety, off his game, and not being given a chance to speak properly again. Communication issues for the win!

**[Patton]: (as Valerie) Roman, look at me!**

**[Roman]: NO! Now one of us has to change!**

**[Patton]: Woah, I'm seein' double here! Shouldn't have drank that "Roman" Coke!**

**[Anxiety]: Wow.**

At this point, Virgil is beginning to feel as if his skin is burning. Logan, by contrast, is only severely itchy, mostly because he isn’t fighting the changes as hard as Virgil is. 

**[Roman]: (as Terrence) You are incorrigible!**

**[Patton]: Don't know what that means!**

**[Logan]: Guess I'm not the only one that needs vocabulary cards. **

**[Thomas]: Okay- Guys, I don't think you switching around is helping. **

**[Anxiety]: Of course it's not, Thomas, because that's not what you need. Do I act like Joan? No.**

Anxiety is interrupted before the message he’s trying to pass along is finished. Usually, Virgil likes this because it adds to the character of Anxiety, but, right now, with his skin burning from the forced transformations, Virgil is beginning to hate even Thomas. 

**[Thomas]: Patton's pretty much just like Valerie, they're both loving and sweet and bubbly-**

**[Patton]: I'm gonna hug you now!**

**[Thomas]: Okay, oh..kay... Y-you gotta go over there now.**

**[Patton]: Oh okay! Why is no one else doing this?**

**[Anxiety]: Alright. See, it doesn't feel right because we are not actually your friends.**

Taken as “the Sides are not your friends, coworkers at best,” it may seem a little harsh, though it is true in the case of the main 3. Taken as “the Sides are not, and could never be, the friends they appear as,” is absolutely true, and Virgil refuses to be someone he’s not for a moment longer than he absolutely has to. 

**[Thomas]: But-!**

**[Logan]: We look just like them. Would it help if we attempted to behave like them? Hello. My name is Talyn. I'm short and unthreatening.**

**[Thomas]: Real cute. I wanna pinch your cheeks, but not quite Talyn.**

**[Logan]: Uh- Cats. Viking metal. Vomit.**

**[Thomas]: Well, now you're just naming things that Talyn enjoys.**

**[Roman]: That raises so many more questions!**

**[Anxiety]: There's no use, Thomas. Nothing beats the real thing.**

“Oh, I don’t wish that would have solved the problem,” Janus whispers in support, able to feel just how much pain Virgil is in. Even Remus is quiet, not wanting to add to his partner’s trials. 

**[Thomas]: Well then, what do you want me to do? I know you want me to just stay at home, but change is inevitable! And, I know change is a part of life and my friends have their own lives, but they've always been there t-**

**[Roman]: (singing) I will find my way, I can go the distance. Sorry, I just realized Terrence has a higher range than you, Thomas!**

**[Thomas]: ...Yup.**

**[Logan]: (as Valerie) El principe es estupido.**

**[Roman]: What?**

**[Logan]: It is my understanding that you speak Spanish, so I really wanted to help you get it through your thick, self-aggrandizing skull in both languages. You are vapid and slow-witted.**

After all that Logan had learned about Remus, he actually means that insult. How anyone could abandon his brother, Logan cannot understand. 

**[Roman]: Wow, that was a wounding remark. I thought we agreed to work as a team on this one. Besides, I learned Spanish first so who's the stupid one now?**

**[Logan]: Still you.**

**[Patton]: Biblioteca! See? I know Spanish, too.**

**[Thomas]: Nah, that's like Spanish 1.**

**[Patton]: Did I make you proud, Logan? You proud of me?**

**[Logan]: You really need to chill.**

“He really does need to take a bath in the Arctic,” Remus says, slightly startling Logan. How could he hear Remus from here?

**[Thomas]: Okay. So as we were saying-**

**[Roman]: Come on, Thomas! Life is an adventure! Embrace the change!**

**[Thomas]: I'm trying to, but I don't know if I can!**

**[Anxiety]: Not without your friends, Thomas.**

**[Roman]: Okay, enough of you.**

**[Anxiety]: (as Terrence) Wh-?**

It is all Virgil can do to not scream in pain. Each transfer made the pain worse, and, honestly, Virgil isn’t sure how he’s standing right now. 

**[Roman]: (as Joan) (strange accent) You were too powerful as Joan! Somebody had to stop you!**

**[Thomas]: Why are you talking like that?**

**[Roman]: Why I've always talked this way!**

**[Thomas]: No...**

**[Roman]: I mean, this is how Joan has always talked!**

**[Thomas]: Not them either.**

**[Roman]: Great kookilie-pookilies, I don't know who I am anymore.**

**[Anxiety]: I don't have to look like anyone to make sense.**

**[Logan]: He's right, we are parts of a whole―visualized aspects of your single personality. Your real friends are complicated, multifaceted individuals. None of them would fit neatly into any one of us.**

“Thank god for Logan,” Remus whispers so only Janus hears. Privately, Janus agrees. 

**[Thomas]: Nothing beats the real thing.**

**[Anxiety]: I just said that.**

**[Logan]: (as Terrence) See? Am I, at all, like Terrence?**

**[Thomas]: No, you're not.**

**[Anxiety]: (as Valerie) I'm getting real sick of this.**

Remus and Janus wince. How is Virgil still standing? 

**[Thomas]: I know you are, Anxiety. This constant change is exactly what I was trying to avoid in the first place. I guess some change is unavoidable.**

**[Patton]: (as Joan) You just need to keep the change! *coins jingle* Uh oh! I just littered those pennies! Hope the "coppers" don't come after me! -exhale laugh-**

**[Roman]: (as Talyn) Why did you switch with me?!**

**[Patton]: It was the last combo!**

**[Thomas]: Okay you gotta- Yup.**

**[Patton]: Had to happen!**

**[Roman]: I am frail! And breakable!**

**[Logan]: Okay, Patton in the form of Joan is not happening.**

**[Thomas]: Got it.**

**[Patton]: (as Terrence) Okay, now you just like being Joan!**

**[Logan]: (as Joan) Falsehood. Thomas, there is administrable change and inadministrable change.**

**[Thomas]: That's not a real word.**

**[Logan]: Unadministrable change.**

**[Thomas]: Ehhh...**

**[Logan]: Whatever. Change you can control and change you cannot control.**

**[Thomas]: I'm following.**

**[Anxiety]: And then there's change you can control but shouldn't. Like changing me.**

Virgil is surprised Thomas even heard that with how hard Virgil is clenching his teeth in an effort not to scream. He almost loses it when Roman switches with him again. 

**[Roman]: (as Valerie) True.**

**[Anxiety]: (as Talyn) Are you kidding me?!**

**[Roman]: Sorry, I chose Valerie first.**

**[Thomas]: So, the change that I can't control is the fact that me and my friends are all moving in different directions. We have our own goals, our own dreams. That's something that can’t and shouldn't be changed. But, what we can control is our communication with each other. We can keep ourselves updated, vid-chat, enjoy each other's company even if we're not in the same place. I mean, some friendships even start online or by mail and it's years before they meet if they ever do. The spirit of the friendship doesn't fade with location or any form of change, it's up to us.**

**[Logan]: And if you're truly not happy with the change that's happening in your life, you can exercise what agency you have over that as well.**

**[Thomas]: You're right! Most changes aren't too far out of my control! -small sigh- That calms me down.**

**[Anxiety]: Great. Well, can you use a little bit of that control to change me back now?**

**[Thomas]: Oh, fine.**

**[Anxiety]: (whisper) Finally.**

**[Logan]: A'right cool.**

**[Patton]: Aw, okay.**

**[Roman]: Halt! One more princess song. (to the tune from Snow White) I'm wishing… Okay, I'm good.**

Remus is going to strangle his brother for delaying their return. 

**[Thomas]: Okay. There you go! (all sides back to original forms)**

**[Anxiety]: Oh, my precious bangs.**

Virgil had to disguise his relief from the pain with that comment, and is grateful that attention is quickly turned from him as he sways where he’s standing. He sees Logan shoot him a concerned look out ot he corner of his eye, but he can’t bring himself to care. 

**[Thomas]: -sigh- Well it was a valiant effort.**

**[Patton]: Well at least it was fun!**

**[Roman]: Some change can be fun. And entertaining!**

**[Logan]: It was almost as if this whole video was an excuse to show us portrayed by your friends.**

**[Thomas]: Sorry about all that, Anxiety.**

Virgil manages to gather himself to play one last trick to repay Thomas for that pain. 

**[Anxiety]: Whatever. I'll let it slide because I do feel better.**

**[Thomas]: Yeah?**

**[Anxiety]: Yeah...?**

**[Thomas]: Maybe... Good enough to tell us... your name?**

**[Patton]: You are the last one! (quieter) And even we don't know your name so we're kinda curious...**

**[Anxiety]: Well… Okay. My name... *dramatic violin chord* (as Talyn) Is Talyn! *music stops***

**[Thomas]: Oh..kay.**

**[Logan]: That is upsetting.**

**[Roman]: Well-**

**[Patton]: Wait, is it Talyn?**

**[Anxiety]: (as Anxiety) No! You take turns changing me into different friends today and expect me to open up to all of you? Fat chance! Except you, Patton. You didn't do that―you're cool.**

It makes Virgil want to barf, having to say that. 

**[Thomas]: Okay. Well, we deserve that. How 'bout we make it a rule not to change anybody who doesn't want to be changed. And for the record, I like you all just the way that you are. Glad to have you back to your old, intimidating self, Anxiety.**

**[Anxiety]: Be back soon.**

Virgil goes straight to the main kitchen area, knowing that if he goes home for even a second that he’s not leaving for a while, whether because he collapses or because his partners won’t let him go. 

**[Thomas]: Well, I mean I do feel better, so...thank you guys.**

**[Roman]: There's no replacing your friends, but there's no replacing us either!**

**[Thomas]: Very true.**

**[Logan]: We will be your constants.**

**[Thomas]: Yeah, you will.**

**[Patton]: One more hug before- *smack* Guess I can't do that anymore! No more breaking the fourth wall, huh? -laugh- Air hug?**

**[Thomas]: Air hug.**

**[Patton]: Mmmm! I feel better now, thank you!**

**[Thomas]: Thank you, guys! And, I hope that you all know of the changes you have control over in your life. The friendships you have don't have to be limited by distance and if you're not comfortable with the direction you're going, there's no pressure. You can always make another change Until next time, take it easy guys, gals, and non-binary pals. Peace out!**

***end screen***

**[Roman]: I must say, it is a relief to fill out this outfit again!**

**[Anxiety]: You think you do? It totally makes your butt look big.**

**[Roman]: I know, thanks for noticing.**

**[Logan]: Personally, and objectively, I thought we were quite convincing as Thomas's friends.**

**[Patton]: I'd have to agree with ya. I guess you could say Thomas is a man of many-**

**[Logan]: Don't-!**

**[Patton]: (as Talyn) "Talyn"ts!**

**[Logan & Roman]: (screaming and groaning)**

**[Anxiety]: Not AGAIN!!**

Thankfully, that, as it is Patton who initiates the change, it doesn’t hurt as much, but it still stings. 

Back in the kitchen for debrief, Virgil is, for once, sitting in one of the kitchen chairs correctly, head bowed and shoulders slumped. He’s still getting some of the aftershocks, and can’t muster the energy to keep most of his mask up. 

As such, Virgil doesn’t see that, when the other three walk in, all of them shoot him worried looks. Logan is worried because he knows how stressed Virgil had been about that episode, even if he doesn’t know about the pain. Patton also felt the itching, and is concerned about the (as he sees it) youngest of the Sides. Roman doesn’t know what happened, but he knows that Anxiety sitting normally in a chair is cause for concern. 

“Anxiety, are you alright? I know that you were fighting the transformations, and even when I wasn’t, it was still unpleasant,” Logan asks. He knows that Virgil wouldn’t want him bringing up his weakness, but Logan, and Virgil to an extent, knows that the pain of the transformations need to be addressed. Still, that won’t stop Virgil from kicking Logan’s ass next time Logan comes down for training. 

“It was? It was fine for me?” Roman asks, unsure. 

“It was really itchy for me, felt like bugs were crawling under my skin,” Patton shivers. 

“As it was with me, though I thought I saw that it was hurting Anxiety more than myself,” Logan says. 

“Why didn’t I feel that?” Roman wonders. 

At that, Virgil raises his head. Not much, just a few inches, but it’s enough to get the other’s attention. 

“You didn’t feel it because you transformed willingly. Logan and Patton felt itchy because, while it was an unwilling transformation, they didn’t fight it. I fought it with everything I had, and it felt like I was burning from the inside out, so forgive me if I don’t add much to the discussion,” Virgil says bitterly, leaving the other three to wonder how he knew that. After that, Virgil slumps back down and doesn’t move for the rest of the discussion. 

Once the other three are done, Patton and Roman move to help Anxiety, but Logan holds them off with a shake of his head. 

“You two go, I know where Anxiety’s room is. I can get him back, check him for external injuries, get him some painkillers if he needs them. He likely won’t react well to either of you helping him,” Logan explains in a low voice, suspecting that Virgil might be asleep. He isn’t, couldn’t be in enemy territory, but it’s the thought that counts. 

Patton nods, wondering when Logan and Anxiety got so close. Neither Patton or Roman knew where Anxiety’s room is, and it kind of hurt Patton, just a bit, that Anxiety seemed to trust Logan more than him. Roman still looks like he wants to help, but he understands that Anxiety wouldn’t appreciate his help right now. The two walk out into the living room, where Roman offers to put on a movie. 

Logan, meanwhile, approaches Virgil with some trepidation, knowing that the jumpy Paranoia kept multiple knives on his person at all times and didn’t like being woken up. 

Virgil, sensing his approach, raises his head a bit and mutters, “I’m awake. Can’t sleep here.”

As much as that breaks Logan’s heart, he understands, and just asks, “Can you get us back to your room, or should I call Remus or Janus?”

“I can get us back to the Shadow mindscape. Dunno where exactly, but I can get us there. Hold on,” Virgil replies without moving from his slumped position. Logan grabs onto Virgil’s shoulder gently, but firmly enough not to lose his grip, and then they’re gone. 

Remus and Janus catch the two as they fall out of the air, five feet above the coffee table. 

“Oops,” Virgil murmurs, staring up at Janus with clouded eyes. Logan, having been caught by Remus, quickly extracts himself from the green Creativity, and moves over to Janus to check on Virgil. 

“Do you have any external injuries at all?” Logan asks, all business, and directs Janus to put Virgil down on the couch. 

“My arms and palms, scratched and clenched, might have made them bleed,” Virgil replies, rolling up the sleeves of Anxiety’s hoodie that he hasn’t had time or energy to change out of. Sure enough, Virgil’s arms are scratched and bleeding, but healing quickly. The marks on his palms are just red welt at this point, but covered in dried blood. 

“Good thing the hoodie’s black, eh?” Virgil says with a wry grin. Remus hits him lightly while Janus scolds him, “Self-deprecating humor is allowed, and you don’t know that, Virgil!”

“Well, they’re already healing, so there isn’t much I can do for them right now. Do you need me to grab you some pain medicine from my room? I know you have a much higher pain tolerance by virtue of your training, but you were really hurting there,” Logan offers. Virgil only nods. 

Logan sinks out to his room and contemplates the mystery of the Shadows. He walks to his bathroom to grab some extra-strength Advil and some morphine. He doesn’t think that Virgil would actually take the morphine, but figures it’s worth a shot. Still, the Shadows are interesting. Now that Logan knows about them, he’s been reconnecting with two of his old friends and half of another one, and he is enjoying himself more than he expected. Remus, while chaotic, is a wonderful research partner, as he always comes up with the most interesting questions to find answers to. Janus, despite his backwards speech, is a fantastic debate partner, always having a quick but logical rebuttal to any point Logan brings up. Virgil took over most of Logan’s training, from his animal form to weapons and abilities in actual fights. Logan had chosen a raven, for their intelligence and because he was and is curious about flight, and despite Remus’ joke about being an owl to scream FALSE**HOO**D (credit to rabbit_in_a_lizard_mask for that joke). He still hasn’t managed the actual transformation yet, but Virgil said that’s because he has an unintentional block in his mind against the idea of becoming an animal, having not previously believed it to be possible, even for Sides. 

Shaking himself out of his thoughts, Logan quickly sinks out to the Shadow mindscape, painkillers in hand. Rising up, he is met with a sight he had expected: Remus and Janus on either side of Virgil, carefully snuggling him, with a movie on to distract Virgil from the pain. 

“I have Advil and morphine. I don’t expect that you’ll take the morphine, but figured I’d try,” Logan says, shrugging when Remus and Janus give him a look. Virgil takes the Advil and swallows four dry. Logan turns to go back to his own room. 

“Where do you think you’re going?” Janus’ smooth voice stops him. 

“Back to my own room?” Logan says, it coming out more like a question. 

“Stay, please,” Virgil rasps, voice raw despite not screaming. 

“Yeah, we can have an orgy!” Remus exclaims, trying to lighten the mood a bit. 

“Yes, we will definitely do that and not watch Harry Potter,” Janus says dryly, relieved to see Virgil smile a bit. 

Logan carefully sits next to Janus, then lets out a small “eep” as one of Janus’ arms pulls him closer into their cuddle pile. Carefully, Logan shifts to be more comfortable, before settling in for the night to binge Harry Potter in the Shadow mindscape.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Almost a month of winter break, and I've written only one (1) chapter! What the hell?!?! I blame TikTok, I got into cosplay. I'm @jaymeycosplay on TikTok, and I so far have cosplayed Logan, Punk Logan, Remy, Seer Emile, and one of my OCs. I have plans to do them all eventually. Feel free to stop by if you want!
> 
> Anyway, updates on this story might slow a bit, but I do not plan to abandon this story. 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed!


	18. Becoming a CARTOON! feat. Butch Hartman!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, idk if ya'll saw, but for now, updates will be every other Thursday instead of every Thursday. Sorry, but college is kicking my ass this semester, and we're only on week 2. Also, idk yet if I'm going to make this analogical. I kinda want to, but I'm not sure.

In case anyone is interested,  [ this ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H_1pMc9DuUI) is the song that inspired this whole fic. The song and the music video. 

“From what Roman told me, and depending on how you manage to spin this, Virgil, this might be the last video before you ‘duck out’ as you had previously planned,” Logan says, making the three grin. Their plans are coming along nicely. 

**[Patton]: I love cartoo- Oh, am I early? Ah, I'm early aren't I? Whoopsie doodles, alright, I'm just gonna sink back down. See you all in a bit. Roll title screen.**

***logo***

**[Thomas]: What is up everybody?! Boy, I don't know if I've quite clearly conveyed this to you guys but I really enjoy cartoons.**

**[Submitted videos]: We know**

“I really wish we decided not to use those. Makes me feel like we’re being watched,” Paranoia shivers. 

**[Thomas]: Okay, good to know. Anyway! Growing up my life was heavily influenced by shows like Spongebob, Avatar: The Last Airbender, Loony Toons. And even now, I'm constantly enjoying new shows like Steven Universe, Voltron, Gravity Falls. It's amazing to think about how much time and talent goes into those shows and how much they impact whole generations. Like- the people who can make those shows must be so... so...**

**[Roman]: Creative?**

**[Thomas]: That's the word.**

**[Roman]: I can't believe you listed off all of those and didn't mention a single Disney movie.**

**[Thomas]: Well, I'm pretty sure by now people know I like Disney, Roman.**

**[Roman]: How would we know?**

**[Submitted videos]: We know**

_ Sigh _

**[Roman]: Fair enough, but yes! Cartoons are quite magical..**

**[Thomas]: Right?! I mean these teams of people can work together to create these worlds and in turn, spark the creativity of their viewers, I mean, you're my creativity, how did they make you feel?**

**[Roman]: Rrrandy, dandy and quite grandy!**

**[Thomas]: See? That's pretty good... I think.**

“Careful with ‘randy’ dear brother, that usually falls on my side of the creative spectrum,” Remus sneers. 

Logan stands, “My turn.”

**[Logan]: I don't know I always found them off-putting...**

**[Thomas]: Well yeah, I can see that Logan. You're my logical thinking and things in cartoons don’t always make logical sense. BUT THAT'S WHAT'S FUN ABOUT THEM!**

**[Logan]: Mm... If you wanna call fun, misrepresenting the natural world to hundreds of thousands of impressionable children, then sure.**

**[Roman]: Look, so much of life is dominated by your world, Logan, let Thomas enjoy the bit that's dominated by mine!**

Virgil stands, slouching a bit to Anxiety’s posture, “My turn.”

**[Anxiety]: Kind of sad though.**

**[Thomas]: Wh-how do you have anything negative to bring to this, Anxiety?**

**[Roman]: (angrily) WE'RE TALKIN’ TOONS, DOCTOR GLOOM!**

Janus hisses at Roman. Despite Logan’s plea for them to have compassion and to hear the other two out before taking revenge, Roman likely isn’t going to be escaping from at least a knock or two on the head. Or five. 

**[Thomas]: Easy, Roman.**

**[Anxiety]: Uh yeah, Logan wasn't a blossom of enthusiasm either, but sure! Make me the antagonist.**

**[Roman]: Ok, I will!**

**[Anxiety]: -vaguely sassy grunt-**

**[Logan]: Ok, what were you saying?**

**[Anxiety]: -sigh- I was saying, it's kinda sad how wonderful those worlds are.**

Once again, interrupted! While it is in Anxiety’s character to be interrupted and not allowed to finish, Virgil can’t help but be sick of it by now. 

**[Thomas]: Mmm, gotta say this still feels like a bit of a reach--**

**[Anxiety]: Can I-- Can I finish my thought? Can I-- Can I continue?**

**[Thomas]: Oh, yeah, mm-hmm, sure.**

**[Anxiety]: -groans- They're so wonderful...and you can never actually be a part of them.**

**[Logan]: Who would want to live in a cartoon wor--**

“Yeah, our world is weird and fun enough! Why go to another one where life is perfect and the only conflict there is engineered for the sake of the plot?” Remus says, in contrast with his brother. 

**[Roman]: OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, MY GOODNESS, THAT WOULD BE THE MOST EPIC THING!!!**

**[Logan]: Question answered.**

**[Thomas]: Ok, OK, YES, I have thought about that once or twice, but come on! I mean, like, who doesn't? I mean that's...basically saying the real world is not...as...fun. DON'T! Don't you dare, I KNOW what you're going to say. Just. Zip it.**

**[Roman]: I mean wouldn't you say, Thomas, that some of your short videos were inspired by cartoons?**

**[Thomas]: Like, (as Stitch) my impressions?**

**[Logan]: ...Was that Donald Duck?**

“Did you actually not know, or was that just for the video?” Remus asks. 

“I do know, I just like messing with people sometimes. I don’t need the flashcards, either,” Logan confesses when the camera is off him, and only to Remus, Janus, and Virgil. 

“You sly little shit,” Janus grins proudly. 

**[Thomas]: N-- No...**

**[Roman]: Not just that, it's all throughout your comedy! Disney parodies, Spongebob absurdities, LOONEY TOONS SLAPSTICK!!**

**[Logan]: And you populate your content with zany and goofy characters.**

**[Thomas]: Like who?**

**[Patton]: I LOVE cartoons!**

**[Thomas]: Wow, you were late to the vlog today, Morality.**

**[Patton]: Well, I just didn't wanna be too early again.**

**[Thomas]: What...?**

**[Patton]: Nothin'!**

**[Anxiety]: Even the faces you make. It's like you're TRYING to be a cartoon.**

**[Thomas]: What? When have I ever done something like THAT?**

Ok, that was excessive. 

**[Anxiety]: See, why would anyone need to move their face as much as you just did in that one sentence?**

**[Roman]: To be a cartoon…*suspenseful music* or not to be a cartoon? (whispering) That is the question...**

***suspenseful music cuts out***

**[Logan]: I don't know if that is a question, because you cannot be a cartoon.**

**[Thomas]: Or can I?**

***dramatic music***

***music once again cuts out***

**[Logan]: No!**

**[Anxiety]: You CAN'T. What are you even looking at?**

Paranoia looks around, discreetly checking to make sure there aren’t any threats that they noticed that he hadn’t. 

**[Patton]: I dunno what they're looking at, but I am eyeballin' that fridge because there is some leftover pasta...**

**[Thomas]: OK, I will admit that being a cartoon was one of my...wilder fantasies.**

**[Roman]: (cool voice) It was pretty wild.**

**[Thomas]: BUT, maybe there's a way to make it happen, even just for a bit!**

**[Patton]: I have no idea where you're going with this, but I BLINDLY support you. Where'd you go?**

**[Logan]: I would like a say in this.**

**[Roman]: Not today, Logic!**

**[Anxiety]: That's a good phrase to live by.**

**[Roman]: And away with you, Marilyn MonROSE.**

**[Thomas]: Ok! Booked.**

**[Anxiety]: Wait, what?**

**[Logan]: BOOK?!?!**

**[Anxiety]: What the f--?**

**[Thomas]: The plan is already in motion! I've got a plane to catch.**

“Wouldn’t it just have been easier to take Thomas into the Imagination?” Logan wonders quietly. Remus and Janus both hear, and nod. It would have been much easier. 

**[Roman]: Godspeed, Thomas! Chase your dreams! May the wings of fortune carry you to your destina--!**

**[Logan]: You DO realise we're in his personality and we're going too.**

**[Roman]: (soft gasp) I did just now.**

**[Patton]: AHHH, I LOVE FLYING!**

**[Anxiety]: But I hate flying. How does that even work?!**

***new scene* (spongebob underwater text)**

**[Spongebob Narrator]: One flight to L.A. later…**

***new scene* (office in LA)**

“What the hell is happening?” Remus asks, as Thomas had not briefed any of the sides on what the plan was. 

**[Thomas]: HEY!**

**[Butch Hartman]: Ummm...who are you?**

**[Thomas]: Thomas Sanders, how're you doin, and YOU'RE Butch Hartman!**

**[Butch]: ...Yeah?**

**[Thomas]: Creator of Fairly Odd Parents, Danny Phantom, Tuff Puppy...**

**[Butch]: Yes.**

**[Thomas]: Awesome! I'm here 'cause I kinda need your help.**

**[Butch]: You need me to make you into a cartoon, right?**

**[Thomas]: YES!!!**

**[Butch]: No.**

**[Thomas]: Whoa--why?**

**[Butch]: Do you know how many people bust in here every week asking me to make them into a cartoon?**

**[Thomas]: Uhh...**

**[Butch]: 37.**

“That’s a huge problem,” Paranoia says, having joined Remus and Janus after Thomas left his living room. 

**[Thomas]: Really?...Wow.**

**[Butch]: Yeah, the security around here kinda stinks.**

**[Thomas]: But I have a really good reason!**

**[Butch]: And what would that be?**

**[Thomas]: BECAUSE I WANNA BE A CARTOON REAL BAD!!**

**[Butch]: That's...not a good reason!**

**[Thomas]: Plus I have Tara Strong on the phone.**

**[Tara]: Butch! I wish you'd make Thomas a cartoon!**

**[Butch]: Tara...why?!**

**[Tara]: I mean, the dude seems alright. Plus he paid me 80 bucks to say this!**

“Ooo, bribery, totally not my influence,” Janus says with glee. 

**[Thomas]: Eh?**

**[Butch]: -sighs- ...Ok. But I've only got a minute; there's only so much I can do on short notice.**

**[Thomas]: PERFECT!**

**[Butch]: Ok! Whenever you're ready.**

**[Thomas]: Oh...we're going, right now? That's...how this works?**

**[Butch]: Yeah, how else do you think this happens?**

**[Thomas]: Oh...ok. Uh, shoot! Well…**

***new scene* (as a cartoon)**

**[Thomas]: Ah! I'm actually a cartoon! Man, my skin is a lot smoother like this. Ok, only got a minute, what do I do? Let's go through a day in the life of Cartoon Thomas. First, I wake up ready and refreshed for the day.**

“Oh, he’s not pulling heavily on my influence!” Janus exclaims in surprise. 

***birds tweeting loudly***

**[Thomas]: SHUT UP!!!**

***birds chirping***

**[Roman]: Wow, rude much?**

**[Thomas]: Then I work out! Gotta go fast!**

**[Patton]: Hey, you forgot your breakfast! ACK! *Sonic ring scatter sound* Well, I "donut" wanna have that happen again! Hahaha! Ow, my leg.**

“Did Thomas actually just hurt Morality?” Remus asks incredulously. When Janus looks at him quizzically, Remus explains, “ I may not like him, but to be hurt by the host is the worst.”

**[Thomas]: Ok! I've run off a cliff, but it's a cartoon, so as long as I don't look down-- oh, darn.**

***over-the-top sfx***

**[Thomas]: (echoing) I'm still somehow alive! Then I usually make a video!**

**[Logan]: Puppies?**

**[Thomas]: Maybe!**

**[Logan]: Singing?**

**[Thomas]: Maybe!**

**[Logan]: Singing puppies?**

**[Thomas]: Yes!**

“Logan?!?” Remus, Janus, and Virgil all exclaim.

“I am not saying this willingly, I assure you,” Logan replies quietly through gritted teeth. 

***Thomas impersonating a howling dog, then transitioning into a melodic riff***

**[Thomas]: Post! Then I usually FIGHT CRIME.**

“My time to shine,” Virgil says, appearing in the cartoon world. 

**[Anxiety]: Oh look, I'm the bad guy...**

**[Roman]: Don't worry! Everyone loves the villain.**

**[Anxiety]: Oh, brother.**

“I think my brother may actually have a crush on Anxiety,” Remus notes with surprise. 

**[Thomas]: And I finish up the day creating the perfect meal with my magical wizard powers! And so the day is saved, thanks to escaping from any and all sense of actual reality!**

**[Thomas, Roman, Patton & Logan]: Yeah!**

**[Anxiety]: Yeahhhh...**

***end scene* (back to office)**

**[Butch]: And, there you go!**

**[Thomas]: Wow. That was so cool...**

**[Butch]: Well I'm happy to help!**

**[Thomas]: I wish for more time to be a cartoon!**

“Because that’s going to work,” Janus says, sarcasm heavy. 

**[Butch]: Hahaha! No.**

**[Thomas]: Ok, I did not think that would work. Alright, thank you! BYE!**

**[Butch]: Sofia?**

**[Sofia]: Yeah?**

**[Butch]: Can we change the locks in the building again? I'm kinda tired of these weirdos getting in. Thank you.**

***new scene* **

**(spongebob underwater text) [Spongebob Narrator]: One flight to Florida later...**

***new scene* (Thomas’ living room)**

**[Thomas]: Phew! Just flew back.**

**[Patton]: And boy, are your arms ti--**

**[Logan]: DON'T. PLEASE DO NOT.**

After all that nonsense, Logan is not in the mood to deal with Patton. 

**[Anxiety]: Why did I have to be FLYING in that cartoon.**

**[Logan]: Why were any of us doing any of the things that happened there? It was almost as if you were doing, um, "the most."**

**[Roman]: Uh, yeah, like we're gonna be animated and act like we would in the REAL world, I mean...!**

**[Thomas]: I will say I was ambitious. But that was a lot of fun right?**

**[Roman]: YES! IT WAS FUN!**

**[Anxiety]: Eh.**

For Virgil, it was not fun. He understands now why Logan said this could be his last episode before he ducks out. Getting punched by the host just proves how unwanted he is. 

**[Logan]: It was interesting.**

**[Patton]: I liked the dog, do you remember the dog?**

**[Thomas]: Ahh. Shame it had to be over so soon.**

**[Logan]: Ok, Thomas. I can maybe, slightly, microscopically see how one may enjoy themselves if the world behaved like a cartoon.**

**[Roman]: HA! I win.**

**[Logan]: BUT, at the same time the world you live in can be just as wondrous and fascinating. You may not always see it but sometimes our universe can be stranger than fiction. So much so that some people dedicate their entire lives to studying it and trying to understand it.**

**[Thomas]: Yeah, you are right! I shouldn't take this world for granted. It can be just as fun!**

**[Logan]: Ehh...Fun, fascinating, Tomato, Solanum lycopersicum.**

“Ooo, I like that!” Remus says, twirling because he can. 

**[Roman]: Well, I suppose it wouldn't be best to exclude Logic completely. After all, the best kind of comedy in cartoons follows some line of logic. Otherwise it would just be random and that's--**

**[Patton]: POTATO!**

**[Roman]: --Never funny!**

**[Thomas]: Yeah, and the coolest thing is that the spirit of those cartoons, their comedy and the messages they may have tried to convey stuck with us, until now! And we're still paying tribute to them and trying to follow in their creative footsteps!**

**[Anxiety]: Oh great. Glad to know we still got a nice little message out of this ridiculous video.**

**[Logan]: What exactly was the message?**

**[Patton]: Cartoons are neat!**

**[Logan]: Ok, fair enough.**

**[Thomas]: That's totally fair.**

**[Roman]: But Anxiety's the fairest of them all! Haha!**

“Oookay, my brother definitely has a crush on Anxiety. That’s really weird,” Remus shudders, Janus nodding his agreement. 

***everyone stares at Roman***

**[Roman]: Oh c'mon guys, it was a pale joke!**

**[Anxiety]: Good one! I've had enough for the day.**

Virgil leaves to join his partners. He didn’t go straight to the kitchen because a) he isn’t needed for the end card, and b) he has to show reluctance to join to make his departure believable. Beyond that, he just wants a hug, falling into Janus’ many arms as soon as he appears. 

**[Logan]: Yes, I too have had my fair share of nonsense today.**

Logan reluctantly goes to the kitchen, knowing that Roman and Patton would also sink out soon, but also wanting to check on Virgil. Sure, Logan knew that most of that was an act, but he also noticed that some of it wasn’t. 

**[Patton]: Ha! He's still learnin' Thomas. Sometimes, you just gotta TOON him out! Ya know? "Toon"?**

**[Roman]: Ugh.**

**[Thomas]: Haha!**

**[Patton]: Like a cartoo--?**

**[Submitted videos]: WE KNOW!!!**

_ Sigh  _

**[Patton]: Alright, I don't know what that was about but it was nice meetin' y'all! Alright, I'm gonna see you guys later!**

**[Roman]: Well Thomas, it was a lofty dream...but we achieved it.**

**[Thomas]: We did. If only for a minute.**

**[Roman]: Here's to many more! Next stop: attending wizardry school!!**

**[Thomas]: Well... If you grew up loving cartoons and they still mean a lot to you, I hope you are never ashamed to admit it. They inspire new comedy, new important representation, and new ways to creatively tell stories! Most importantly, they were created and voiced by people like you and I here in this world with amazing imaginations. In a way, we all bring them to life. Hope you enjoyed the video. Thank you so much to the amazingly talented creator of the Fairly Odd Parents, Butch Hartman for helping to make this video happen. Not only did Butch help to make the fantastic animation you saw in the video, he also designed a limited edition POSTER of all the Sanders Sides, available at Districtlines.com/ThomasSanders link in the description. We're only printing about a thousand of them and they're available in both signed and unsigned versions. I also did a video on his channel! It was a lot of fun and the link to that is down in the description as well. And be sure to check out everything he's working on at the Noog Network app, an app he and his team have brought to life. The link to that app is down in the description too. That's it! And until next time, take it easy guys, gals and non-binary pals. Peace out!**

***end screen***

**[Thomas]: Just an idea-**

**[Butch]: How did you get i--?**

**[Thomas]: I think we stumbled upon a new Nickelodeon show?**

**[Butch]: No.**

**[Thomas]: I'll let myself out.**

Back in the kitchen, Logan, Patton, and Roman are gathered, waiting for Anxiety to arrive so they can discuss the video. When it became apparent that he is not going to show, Roman forcibly summons him. Virgil allows himself to be summoned to allow them to believe he has lesser power level than Roman or Patton. 

“Now that we are all here-” Logan tries to start the discussion peacefully, but is cut off by Roman. 

“Finally! Took you long enough,” Roman scoffs. Anxiety hunches further into his hoodie, squatting on the chair with only the balls of his feet on the chair’s seat. From there, the discussion continues as normal, with Roman making some snide remarks in Anxiety’s direction, but, this time, Anxiety doesn’t rise to the bait, just stayed quiet. Patton expresses some concern, but Anxiety doesn’t respond, staring at the table. When Logan calls the debrief, Anxiety sinks out immediately. 

Virgil goes back to the Shadow side, trying not to actually feel as shitty as he is pretending to feel. Regardless of how much of this is an act, it still hurts, the fact that Thomas seems to hate him so much so as to punch him in the face, cartoon world or not! 

Immediately, he is engulfed in a many armed hug, as Janus has all six arms out and Remus is squeezing them both with his tentacles. Logan comes in soon after and joins. Virgil starts sobbing, ugly, painful sobs that make the three surrounding him hug a little tighter. No one tries to shush him, though. 

It takes almost an hour until Virgil feels safe enough to let go, and, by then, the group has migrated to the couch, which has been expanded to fit them all comfortably. He takes a shaky breath in and pulls back from Janus, just enough to wipe his sleeve over the makeup that he hadn’t been able to remove yet. Opening all eight eyes, Virgil stares silently at Janus, Remus, and Logan, not feeling up to speaking yet. Understanding anyway, Janus grabs the nearby remote and turns of Nightmare Before Christmas, Virgil’s comfort movie, while Remus summons up a multitude of blankets and pillows and Logan moves, briefly, to the kitchen to make hot cocoa for all of them. He even remembers the spritz of bleach in Remus’, the cayenne pepper in Janus’, and the cinnamon in Virgil’s. Logan himself took his with mint. 

The drinks long since drunk, the movie long over, the four sits together, taking comfort from each other. All of them are still shocked over what Thomas had done, none able to believe it. Amongst the Shadow, the motto is “Family First,” something that Logan had picked up on quickly, and adopted himself even quicker. So, to see someone they consider family, hurt by the very man who created them, it goes against everything they believe and stand for. 

“I think,” Virgil begins slowly, voice raspy, “that if this had all been true, I would have already ducked out by now. Thank you, for not letting this be real.”

In response, Janus tightens his hold and rumbles, “Never, Virgil, never.”

Remus did the same, saying, “We wouldn’t abandon you, V, even if you did truly decide to go join the others up there. We’d always be there, no matter what. You’re family.”

Logan pulls back a little, and says, “You gave me a chance, even when I didn’t deserve one. I would not abandon you, even if you pushed me away. You deserve that much.”

“Thanks,” Virgil sniffles, snuggling further into the cuddle pile. 

Soon, Virgil would pretend to duck out.

Soon, Thomas would accept that his Anxiety is a part of him. 

Soon, Virgil would have to go back to pretending to be someone he isn’t to be accepted. 

But all of that, that’s later. For now, Virgil is safe, loved, and content, despite the bruises on his cheek and the makeup smeared across his face. For now, Virgil is happy. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed!


	19. ACCEPTING ANXIETY, Part 1/2: Excepting Anxiety!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, college is kicking my ass, I literally had a mental breakdown yesterday and dyed my hair green on a livestream, so I cannot promise any consistencies in chapter updates from now on. I will try to stick to every other Thursday, as I have committed to, but don't yell at me if I miss a week or update a day late, please
> 
> I was gonna make both Accepting Anxieties into one chapter, but, as I said, college is killing me, so you'll have to wait.

“Well, Virgil, you’re off the hook for this next video. Thomas will need you for the video after this, but, for this one, you need to remove all of your influence from Thomas a bit at a time so the other two don’t notice anything until it’s too late,” Logan had explained a week ago, prompting Virgil to start the process. Now, Thomas has no Anxiety, no Paranoia, and the only self-preservation he has comes from Janus, which is limited, especially without Virgil’s influence. 

**[Thomas]: Uh, hey…uh- this is Thomas, and, uh--this is usually where I start off, uh- by saying something quick and witty to begin the video. Yeah.**

“Holy shit,” Remus whispers in amazement. When Virgil and Janus turn to look at him, Logan having gone up to his own room to allay suspicion, he elaborates, “I knew, in my head, what removing you would do to Thomas, but seeing it is a whole ‘nother thing.”

***logo***

**[Thomas]: So yeah! Another video. This is awesome! Oh wait, actually, I usually start off this video by saying “What is up, everybody!” But you know, I don’t actually hear your responses. And, strangely enough, I’m not concerned about consistency today. You know what I wanna talk about? Eatin’ food. Or you know what, actually? Maybe about that TV show I just watched. Or maybe I should just watch another TV show and eat some food. That’s it. Alright, until next time. Take it easy, guys, gals, and non-binary pals--**

Time for Logic to take notice of the strange turn of events. 

**[Logan]: Uh, if I may… I’m going to step in for a second.**

**[Thomas]: Ahh, Logan’s here, so I probably did something wrong.**

That  _ stung _ , in a way that Logan didn’t want to acknowledge or examine too closely. 

**[Logan]: What? No. You just seem to be a little… uncharacteristically… careless.**

**[Thomas]: Hm. I hadn’t cared to notice. Ah- pfft, that’s it, there it is, that’s what you were saying.**

**[Logan]: Yes… I mean you tend to start the video with at least some sort of direction before the inevitable internal conflict.**

Logan is as shocked as Remus. Sure, he knew that Virgil played a large part in who Thomas was, but to see the difference, to experience this, is so much different than knowing. 

**[Thomas]: They do usually follow that story arc. But, maybe, that’s a good thing. You know, like, changing it up.**

**[Logan]: No. I mean… maybe. I don’t know, you’re confusing me. I think I have a vocab word for this. Uh. You good, fahm?**

**[Thomas]: Wow. That was bad, but like, you’re a really good try-er, Logan. You’re really good.**

**[Logan]: Thanks. **

**[Thomas]: ...If anybody, like, texted me… ooh!**

**[Logan]: Thomas, you didn’t answer the question.**

“This really isn’t showing how close Logan is to actually being one of us,” Janus murmurs to Virgil and Remus, too low for Logan to hear. 

**[Thomas]: Your question about whether or not I’m good, fam?**

**[Logan]: That’s the one.**

**[Thomas]: You’d probably know if something is up because you usually provide, you know, the explanatory exposition in my videos because all the other characters are too zany or relatable.**

**[Logan]: Okay, I’m at a loss here. Should we check on the others?**

**[Thomas]: If you want.**

**[Logan]: I do. I do want… that. Are you going to-**

**[Thomas]: Morality! Creativity!**

“Technically, he is calling me, to-” Remus begins.

“Do it,” Janus cuts him off. 

**[Roman]: Wow. Rude.**

**[Patton]: You too cool to call us by our names, kiddo?**

**[Thomas]: Nah. That was just the easiest way to, you know, quickly establish what you guys generally represent, in case there are any new viewers watching.**

**[Logan]: Jeez. Okay, I- consider taking a more nuanced approach with that explanation next time.**

**[Thomas]: He’s my logical side. He’s my logical side.**

**[Roman]: Uh… is everything Gucci, Thomas?**

**[Logan]: I suppose I could’ve posed the question that way as well, but that is precisely why I wanted you two here.**

**[Patton]: You mean us three?**

**[Logan]: Oh, did I say three?**

“Ouch,” Virgil mutters. Sure, he knows that Logan is only saying this for effect, but it still hurts a bit to hear. Though he is surprised that Patton jumped to his defense so quickly. Virgil had thought it would take longer before Patton or Roman realized exactly what was wrong. 

**[Patton]: No.**

**[Logan]: Then I guess I didn’t mean three.**

**[Patton]: He’s made mistakes before.**

**[Logan]: An uncommon occurrence.**

**[Patton]: Well then you might say the amount of mistakes you’ve made is... infinitesimal?**

**[Logan]: You make ONE MISTAKE, and THIS is what happens!**

**[Roman]: Okay, time out for thee and time out for thee, focus on issues or focus on me.**

**[Logan]: Okay, you’re right. Let’s get down to business.**

**[Thomas]: To defeat…**

**[Thomas and Roman]: The Huns!**

**[Logan]: Please stop. Stop, please.**

**[Thomas]: Come on!**

**[Roman]: I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.**

**[Thomas]: Mulan!**

**[Logan]: Thomas, that aloofness that you are displaying is highly… unproductive.**

**[Thomas]: You mean I can’t make babies? What? Just kidding. Uh...**

**[Logan]: Can someone else please- some whe- le- Flames. On the side of my face. See- Seething… Seething fire.**

“You good, Logan?” Virgil whispers up to him. 

“Is this how you feel all the time?” Logan asks in return. 

**[Patton]: Is something bothering you buddy?**

**[Roman]: An unattainable dream? A hopeless romance?**

**[Logan]: A lack of sleep, a- a puzzling situation.**

**[Patton]: Having trouble with adultery?**

Facepalms abound!

**[Thomas]: Oh yeah, you always say that instead of ‘becoming an adult’ or ‘adulthood’. As if you didn’t know the troubling definition of the word you’re using, which actually means, you know, when a-**

**[Roman]: Wait! Pumbaa, not in front of the kids.**

**[Patton]: Well, I don’t know what you two are talking about, but something definitely seems to be off.**

**[Thomas]: You keep saying that, but honestly, I’m good… fam.**

**[Patton]: Now, don’t you go shortening the word family by cutting out my three favorite letters: I L Y.**

“There is no way that is how Morality is. You remember, right, Janus? I’ve been confused this entire time because the way Morality acts on screen is so different from how he normally acts,” Virgil points out. Janus nods thoughtfully while Remus stays quiet. Remus was banished almost immediately after he was created, and he does remember some things before the Split, but hazily, like from a dream. 

**[Logan]: Okay, well, Patton seems to be doing okay. How ‘bout you, Roman?**

**[Roman]: Let’s see, uh… Disney references, regal appearance, general awareness that I’m better than you two… Uhh, I’m feeling pretty good.**

**[Logan]: Then what could be wrong here?**

**[Patton]: Boy, you both always act like you know all the answers… So, it’s surprising that you keep overlooking something so simple.**

**[Roman]: Oh, is that so, Patton? You're so cute.**

**[Logan]: And, uh- what might that be?**

**[Patton]: Where is Anxiety?**

**[Logan]: Hmm, do you honestly think it’s necessary to have him here?**

**[Roman]: To offer his mopey, dopey input? I- I don’t like him.**

“Feeling’s mutual, asshole,” Virgil mutters. 

**[Thomas]: I’m still hungry.**

**[Logan]: No- No.**

**[Roman]: Stop him. Stop him!**

**[Thomas]: *Singing to himself while looking in the kitchen***

**[Logan]: Thomas, this is highly… -sighs- We can’t afford these detours… anymore.**

**[Thomas]: Ooh! I found some granola!**

**[Roman]: We’re try- we’re doing a- we’re doing a vid here, buddy.**

**[Logan]: Alright. Well, at least it’s something healthy.**

**[Roman]: Thomas, isn’t there a more important thing that you should be focusing on right now? Oh, you’re just getting it all over the carpet, aren’t ya? Alright, well…**

**[Logan]: Wh- What if you have guests over?**

**[Thomas]: That wouldn’t happen for a while so it’s not really a big deal.**

**[Patton]: Well, he’s definitely inviting some ants over. -chuckles-**

**[Logan]: Just aunts? No uncles?**

Remus, Virgil, and Janus snicker. Logan can be funny sometimes now that they know he’s only pretending to be an idiot. 

**[Roman]: Can you at least- Can you take off the hoodie? Like, you look like a hot mess. Nay, not hot, cool. Nay, not cool, uncool. An uncool mess.**

**[Thomas]: If you want me to. *takes of hood revealing very messy untamed hair***

**[Roman]: Oh, dear, sweet MOTHER of hairbrushes, what IS your hair?!**

**[Thomas]: I’m just letting it do it’s thing.**

**[Roman]: There’s a… lot of viewers that are going to see you like this so-**

**[Thomas]: Eh, they’ve seen me on better days, so it evens out.**

Virgil has to restrain himself from slamming his influence back into Thomas. Looking like this, on camera, in a video that will later be posted on the internet for millions to see? 

**[Logan]: You know, Thomas, I don’t know if that makes sense.**

**[Patton]: You have kind hair.**

**[Thomas]: Oh, thanks I guess.**

**[Patton]: Kinda hair that grows on a dog’s butt! *laughs***

**[Thomas]: That’s probably an accurate comparison.**

**[Roman]: Ugh, just put your hood back on.**

**[Thomas]: *snaps his fingers* You’re the boss, Hoss.**

**[Roman]: What does that even mean? I’m not… Hoss. I’m Prince Roman. Ugh, okay. Well, better bring in Count Woe-laf. Any input is better than what Mr. T is contributing.**

**[Thomas]: Roman brought the clever nicknames to the table, I brought the oats and honey clusters to the table.**

**[Roman]: Put them down!**

**[Thomas]: Okay.**

**[Logan]: Fine. Let’s get him in here. Anxiety? Hm. That’s odd.**

Logan isn’t really trying to summon Virgil, he knows the plan. Still, just calling him does sort of trigger the summoning process, and Virgil feels a light tug on his left wrist. 

**[Roman]: He’s probably listening to that PG-13 music again. Anxiety! *tries to summon Anxiety* Ugh. How dare he? What?**

The tug is a bit more insistent now, but Roman expects to be obeyed, and thus doesn’t put much force into his summons. 

**[Patton]: Now, now, try to be a little more loving. You catch more flies with honey than vinegar. Anxiety! Come on up here, kiddo. Come on up here so everyone can see that cool makeup! Welp, love has failed me.**

Patton puts absolutely no force into his summons, something that surprises all three of them immensely. Virgil had thought that Patton would mask an iron fist with silk gloves, but, instead, it is more like a gentle poke on the wrist, a request, not a demand. 

**[Thomas]: Ho-ho-ho! That can be applied to many instances in my life. The first being-**

**[Roman]: Steady now, Thomas. Are we really going down that road? Uh, you usually don’t like talking about that kind of stuff.**

**[Logan]: You’ve got no shame.**

Trying to lead them down the right path to speed this along. 

**[Patton]: Definitely not much of a filter.**

**[Roman]: Yes, and no fear…**

**[Logan, Patton, and Roman]: You have no-**

**[Thomas]: I have no anxiety, is that what you guys are trying to say?**

**[Roman]: Okay… Well, he also has no sense of tension build-up. That’s disappointing.**

**[Logan]: This is very disconcerting.**

**[Roman]: I don’t know. Shouldn’t a lack of fear be a good thing?**

“He’s an idiot. Fear is what keeps you alive,” Remus says. 

**[Patton]: -gasp- Roman, I’m surprised at you.**

**[Roman]: What?**

**[Patton]: Anxiety can be a gloomy goober sometimes, but he’s still one of us.**

**[Roman]: Is he though? Check it out. Morality, Logic, Creativity. We three, are the most important facets of Thomas’ personality. Plus we all contribute a little extra stuff too. We got along just fine without him in the first two Sanders Sides videos.**

**[Logan]: He may not have had a physical presence, but he was always there within Thomas, to some extent. And he contributes more than what you credit him. Plus, he too, may represent more than just anxiety, even though it is a significant part of who he is.**

**[Roman]: Even still, I just don’t see why he’s necessary. If Anxiety is gone, what do we have to lose?**

**[Thomas]: I don’t fear death.**

“Exactly,” Remus nods, vindicated. 

**[Patton]: Wow.**

**[Roman]: So, you’re super brave. That’s good.**

**[Logan]: There’s a difference between bravery and acting without caution. Think fast! *Chucks a laptop which hits Thomas in the back of the head***

“Logan, what the fuck?!?!” Virgil yells. 

Logan responds while the others are distracted, “It was a prop, too light to actually hurt.”

**[Roman]: Oh, my- sweet Cole Sprouse, what-**

**[Thomas]: That really hurt. Was that a laptop? That, like, hurt real bad. Woah…**

**[Logan]: Unalert, and without his natural defensive reflexes. Yes, it seems that Anxiety has officially clocked out.**

**[Roman]: Okay. Well, he can work on that.**

“No, you can’t, not without years of work,” Virgil says, reminded of the decade the Shadows have spent training together. 

**[Logan]: Thomas, did you remember to lock your motor vehicle earlier today?**

**[Thomas]: I probably did, I’m not sure, but probably.**

**[Logan]: Weaker memory.**

**[Roman]: Wh- that’s not a symptom of a lack of anxiety.**

**[Logan]: Not directly, but with the anxiety over leaving his car unlocked… Thomas always double checks to make sure, securing that memory in place.**

“Huh,” Virgil and Janus both let out a thoughtful noise at the same time.

**[Thomas and Patton]: I doubt anyone will go looking through my [his] car- oh my gosh [goodness]!**

**[Patton]: You just see the best in people.**

**[Logan]: But he can’t always afford to.**

**[Patton]: Ugh, yeah… I guess you’re right.**

**[Thomas]: Well, it sounds like I’m in trouble or something.**

**[Roman]: No, it sounds like these two are worrying too much.**

**[Logan]: That’s the thing- is anyone among us worried?**

**[Patton]: It’s because he isn’t worried and that doesn’t seem right, Roman.**

**[Thomas]: Princey’s never liked Anxiety, that’s his problem!**

**[Roman]: That’s not true.**

**[Thomas]: Mmm…**

“This could take a while,” Virgil sighs. 

**-flash back-**

**[Anxiety]: Hey there, Princey.**

**[Roman]: Ohhkay, I can’t stand that guy.**

**-switch flashback-**

**[Roman]: I’m trying REALLY hard not to like you right now.**

**-switch flashback-**

**[Roman]: Still don’t like you.**

**[Anxiety]: What was that?**

**[Roman]: Uh- chim chim cheroo!**

**-switch flashback-**

**[Roman]: To offer his mopey, dopey input? I- I don’t like him.**

**-end flashback-**

“That was as long as I thought,” Janus says, surprised. 

**[Roman]: Oh, now your memory works… That’s convenient.**

**[Logan]: It is interesting to note that Patton and I have both had our moments of seeing eye to eye with Anxiety… But you seem to remain resolute as ever in how you perceive him.**

**[Roman]: Look, I am the dreamer, and the one BIG thing that gets in the way of pursuing any new adventure, is fear.**

**[Thomas]: *holds up a pair of jeans* Took my pants off!**

**[Roman]: Why?!**

**[Thomas]: No one can see, I don’t care.**

**[Logan]: Yup, we are getting your anxiety and shame back. I cannot deal with any more of this ridiculousness.**

**[Patton]: You put them back. Right now.**

**[Thomas]: Alright, fine. Well, if Anxiety’s not here, where is he?**

**[Roman]: Ugh, probably in his room.**

“Oh shit,” Virgil says. 

“What, did you forget to clean?” Remus teases. 

“No, no one can get down here, not even Thomas, without a guide. Logan doesn’t know the route well enough to guide them down subtly, so one of us has to be there, or they’ll just bounce. It can’t be me, because as soon as I touch Thomas, my influence will return,” Virgil explains, eyes wide and words running together. 

“I won’t go, I can’t turn invisible,” Janus volunteers. 

**[Thomas]: His room?**

**[Logan]: Technically, it’s the corner of your mind that you go to if you wanted to enhance your anxiety, for some reason… Or if you wanted to cathartically indulge in typically troubling emotions. Think, “the mind palace,” but specifically for Anxiety.**

**[Roman]: Where else do you think we come from? Where do we go?**

**[Patton]: Where did you come from Cotton-Eye Joe?**

**[Thomas]: So, you all have one? Oh, my goodness- more stuff I’m learning about myself. Uh, I’d rather go to Patton’s. Can we go there?**

“Now I’m curious about Patton’s room. Maybe I should break in?” Remus wonders. Virgil and Janus don’t try to stop him. 

**[Logan]: Nope. We need to go to Anxiety’s room to check on Anxiety. This is the priority, do you remember what we just... were talking about?**

**[Thomas]: Ah, okay.**

**[Roman]: So we’re all going to Anxiety’s room? Who knows what THAT tragic kingdom looks like? Hhmm…**

**[Patton]: Are you going to join us on this Thomas? ‘Cause we need you to get us all there.**

**[Thomas]: Yeah, it sounds fun or whatever.**

Janus pops up, invisible, next to Thomas, ready to nudge him down the right path. 

**[Logan]: Ohhkay. I thought I would like you without your… never-ending assembly line of predicaments, but this is truly, truly bothersome.**

**[Roman]: Just focus on the things that would normally make you anxious. That is the corner of your mind where we need to go. It may be difficult to go down that road-**

“It’s not that easy, and you know it, brother,” Remus whispers, Virgil agreeing. 

**[Thomas]: Got it.**

**[Roman]: ...Yeah, okay. There is no drama in this today.**

**[Logan]: Ugh. Into the unknown. Here we go.**

**[Patton]: Again on my own, going down Anxiety’s corner in Thomas’ mind…**

**[Thomas]: Oh, I guess I’m doing this too. This is new.**

It took far longer than is actually shown in the video for them to get down to Virgil’s room, which is masked so that it looks like what they expect, not what it is. It’s hard to get people down to the Shadow mindscape safely while they can’t see you.

The barrier between the main mindscape and the Shadow mindscape is thick and strong, due to the combined powers of two Sides. Patton put up the barrier initially, used it to keep Janus and the others that he eventually banished away from the main mindscape so that they, supposedly, would not influence Thomas anymore. Over time, Patton unintentionally reinforced the barrier every time he thought of lying being wrong, or something being scary, or an idea being morally wrong. That didn’t stop the Shadows from learning how to get through it. Eventually, Janus began adding to the barrier from the other side, adding to familiar pathways and making it harder to traverse for those unfamiliar with it. 

“Wow, this is a lot bigger than I remember it being,” Patton says, looking at the barrier in front of them. 

“Woah, what is this thing?” Thomas says, awed at the sight of the large black wall. 

“This is the Barrier. It keeps the Sides separate from the basic core functions, keeps the human away from the lizard brain,” Logan explains, editing the truth slightly. 

“Why would Anxiety be over here, then?” Thomas asks. 

“Anxiety represents the fight-or-flight reflex, something that all living things with a brain have. As such, his room is on the other side of the Barrier, even though Anxiety is more than just the basic fight-or-flight reflex,” Logan explains, again changing the truth. While it is true that the basic functions live over there, and should have been the only ones living over there, the Barrier should not have existed, and Virgil, Remus, and Janus should never have been over there. 

Slowly, carefully, with Janus guiding them even if they don’t know it, as well as making sure that no one would remember the path, they made their way to Anxiety’s room, and entered, as the door was unlocked. 

**-in Anxiety’s room-**

**[Thomas]: Woah. -chuckles- I knew I should’ve taken that left turn at Albuquerque. *snaps his fingers***

**[Logan]: Uh, no. This is where we needed to go.**

**[Thomas]: I know, I- it was- it was just a- uhm… a joke.**

***To be continued Guys, gals, and non-binary pals…***

***end card***

**[Roman]: Wh- are- are you serious? A cliffhanger for a YouTube video??**

**[Logan]: Highly unusual… and frustrating.**

Of course, the events would continue, it is only the video that would end for now. 

**[Patton]: Oh, I’m sure it won’t be that bad. How long do we have to wait?**

**[Logan]: According to Thomas’s schedule, just a couple of days.**

**[Patton]: Yay! And knowing Thomas, he’ll get this video out when he says he will, right on time.**

**[Logan and Roman]: Riiiight…**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope You Enjoyed!


	20. ACCEPTING ANXIETY, Part 2/2: Can Anxiety Be Good?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this took so long, friends! college is trying to kill me, I swear. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

“I cannot believe that they literally paused to address the fact that this would be a separate video, pulling this absolute bullshit before getting back to the important problem at hand. Fucking idiots,” Remus rants quietly. Now that they are in Virgil’s room, it is entirely possible that they could hear Remus and Janus, who had returned as soon as Thomas was “safely” in Virgil’s room. 

**[Thomas]: Previously on Sanders Sides... Ahhh- I didn't cut together any footage for this.**

**[Roman]: Ugh, it's fine. I'll just perform the review myself so.. Thomas started the video and was acting like an aloof moron with no filter and Logic was like "What's up?" Then, Morality and I showed up, and we were like, "What's up?" Then, we realized Anxiety wasn't here and Thomas didn't have any anxiety at all and I was like, "That's not a bad thing because I'm the dreamer." But the other two were like, "We need him or whatever.." So we were like, "Where is he?" Then we deduced that he was probably in the corner of Thomas' mind where Anxiety resides or "Anxiety's room." So we all journeyed there together to find him. Does that make sense?**

**[Logan]: Yeah, or you know.. you could just click here and watch the previous video.**

**[Patton]: And that's what you missed on me!**

“Fucking bullshit,” Remus repeats. 

***logo***

**[Thomas]: Whoa... *snaps his fingers* I knew I should have taken that left turn at Albuquerque.**

**[Logan]: You made that joke in the last video.**

**[Thomas]: I know.. It was just to re-establish where we are in the present timeline. Wow... So, this is Anxiety's room... His room sure looks a lot like my living room... Like, what is this, the upside-down world or something?**

**[Logan]: No, the room just varies based on whatever your present location is.**

“That isn’t even my actual room, how dumb are they?” Virgil scoffs. 

**[Thomas]: One of the darker corners of my mind, the source of all my worries and fears, and-**

**[Logan]: Nightmare before Christmas?**

**[Roman]: Ah!**

**[Thomas]: Yeah, it does not get that dark.**

**[Roman]: Oh. I love that.**

**[Patton]: YAH! Spiders!**

**[Logan]: No need to worry, Patton. That is just the.. pattern on the curtains.**

**[Patton]: I am terribly afraid of spiders... I would like to trade places with someone.**

“I know you are, Morality, that’s why I like this form,” Virgil chuckles darkly. 

**[Logan]: This room is literally covered in spider webs and yet, the curtains unsettle you?**

**[Patton]: Well, I literally don't see any spiders in those, Logan. These curtains are literally covered in them.**

**[Roman]: Those are just silly cartoons, they're not even realistic. But if need be, I will destroy them for you, Patton.**

**[Patton]: Thanks, but let's call them what they are, Roman.**

**[Roman]: Spider curtain-**

**[Patton]: Creepy Crawly Death Dealers.**

**[Roman]: Okay…**

“Here we go,” Virgil says, standing and getting into Anxiety. 

**[Thomas]: Alright, but, like, if this is his room... where is Anxi-**

**[Anxiety]: *shouting* WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY ROOM?!**

**-Thomas screams-**

**-Logan screams-**

**-Roman screams an extremely high-pitched scream-**

“I didn’t know my brother could scream that high! Oh, I’ve got to get him to do it again!” Remus cackles. 

**[Patton]: AHHH, I think one of them moved!**

**[Thomas]: Anxiety? Oh, my goodness. I'm so happy to see you. That's weird.**

**[Anxiety]: You literally all just screamed in unison upon seeing me.**

**[Logan]: Sorry. It's just- you do this thing... where you- where you just kind of... Appear.**

**[Thomas]: Wait, what am I wearing? What IS my hair?!**

**[Roman]: Welcome back, Thomas. *throws him a hairbrush***

**[Thomas]: Thanks, Roman. *throws hairbrush back, which hits Roman***

Remus snorts, and Janus chuckles lightly. 

**[Roman]: Ow!**

**[Thomas]: Look... Anxiety, you don't understand.**

**[Roman]: Come on...**

**[Thomas]: For some reason, I wasn't feeling your presence at all.**

**[Anxiety]: Yeah, I know. It's because I've decided to duck out.**

Virgil is being appropriately vague when he says this. In any normal case, “ducking out” is tantamount to suicide for a Side, but you can’t put that in a Youtube video. 

**[Patton]: Quack.**

**[Thomas]: What- duck out?**

**[Patton]: Quack, quack.**

**[Roman]: That's a thing you can do?**

**[Logan]: For this video, I guess.**

**[Thomas]: What do you mean?**

**[Anxiety]: I removed myself from the equation. I quit. Decided it wasn't worth it anymore.**

“He isn’t being careful with wording here,” Janus notes. 

“What do you mean?” Remus asks. 

“Virgil isn’t implying that Anxiety was going to commit suicide, but he doesn’t have to be careful with how he words it because he isn’t on camera,” Janus explains.

“Ah,” Rmeus nods in understanding. 

**[Thomas]: Why would you do that?**

**[Anxiety]: Well, it didn't seem like I was wanted. You all made that pretty clear anytime I showed up.**

**[Patton]: Wha-**

**[Anxiety]: Except you, Patton. You're a funny guy.**

Virgil inwardly, and almost outwardly, vomits from saying that, and Logan shoots him a concerned look, knowing how much Virgil must have hated to say that. 

**[Patton]: I love my Dark Strange Son.**

**[Roman]: Well, surely you knew that we were just preparing ourselves for the worst po- (possible) Okay, ah.. maybe I could rephrase that. We were just tensing up because we knew that something bad would- Look, it's just you're never really fun and-**

**[Thomas]: Roman, shut up.**

“Much as I would love to strangle my brother, this so far is looking like the ideal situation,” Remus says, “Thomas is defending Anxiety, showing his acceptance. Now all we need is for each of them to voice that acceptance.” 

**[Roman]: Look, I am the creative side, not the fluffy, cutesy, kind, wordsy side.. sooo...**

**[Logan]: One would think that the creative side would be able to come up with a nicer way to talk to others!**

“Whoops, sorry Logan. The room is affecting you, too,” Virgil mutters off camera as soon as he notices. 

“It’s fine, it makes this more realistic,” Logan gets out, slightly quicker than his normal talking speed. 

**[Roman]: You'd think the smart side would know when to mind his own business!**

**[Anxiety]: Okay, it's real sweet that you all decided to come for a visit, but if I wanted to stand around being insulted... I would've shown up in person like I usually do.**

**[Patton]: Oh, you poor, little, anxious baby!**

**[Anxiety]: Let's just face facts... You're better off without me.**

Anxiety would attempt to appeal to Thomas’ Logical Side to prove that he’s unneeded, unwanted, and harmful. Thankfully, Logan is on their side, so he’ll dispute what Anxiety is saying in just the way that they need him to. Still, it is surprising that Thomas speaks before Logan does. 

**[Thomas]: No, NO, no, no, that is where you're wrong.**

**[Logan]: Very much so. I don't think any of us comprehended how much you factor into Thomas' decision making.**

**[Thomas]: Yeah.**

**[Logan]: I mean, without you, he was acting like a- um.. just a- like a big, bumbling, couch potato man.**

**[Thomas]: That- There's probably a nicer way to say that, but-**

**[Logan]: Just an unfiltered... Just gonna come out and say it, a cotton-headed, Ninny Muggins.**

Remus is howling with laughter and rolling on the floor. 

**[Thomas]: That is enough out of you... Logic!**

**[Logan]: See, he's reining me in right now because of you.**

**[Anxiety]: You DO talk too much sometimes...**

**[Logan]: I never thought I'd appreciate you saying that.**

**[Patton]: We've already learned that Thomas listening to me too much can be a problem. Same with Roman. Probably even Logan.**

“Thomas listening to you too much isn’t what got us into this mess in the first place,” Janus mutters bitterly. 

**[Logan]: Easy...**

**[Patton]: Now, while I still have your attention... Do you think maybe we could switch places?**

**[Anxiety]: Alright, I can't say it isn't nice to hear you all groveling, but... I actually think you were right to not want me around. I've always aimed to protect you, but lately... It feels like I've been keeping you from doing anything.**

**[Roman]: If your only goal is to protect, then why do you act like the embodiment of a dark and stormy night all the time?**

**[Thomas]: Roman?**

**[Roman]: What?! He's a creepy cookie! You're a creepy cookie, Anxiety!**

Remus actually snarls at that. 

**[Thomas]: Roman!**

**[Roman]: You're like a- an oatmeal raisin cookie that's primarily composed of raisins. A raisin oatmeal cookie. No one wants that!**

**[Thomas]: *verbally snaps at Roman* PUMP THE BRAKES, PRINCEY!**

**[Roman]: I'm sorry.**

**[Thomas]: You pump those brakes.**

“Oh, I am so not going to use that in the future,” Janus says, laughing a bit. 

**[Roman]: I'm sorry. I'm just- I'm feeling a little... um... Extra passionate here.**

**[Patton]: When did you apply eyeshadow?**

**[Roman]: I didn't, but does it look okay? Because the prince has got to slay.**

**[Patton]: Of course, it looks good. Why would you think it wouldn't? Do you have self-esteem issues? Am I asking too many questions?**

Time to interrupt this little pity party here. 

**[Anxiety]: Putting on a dark persona is the best way to get anyone's guard up... But all this reflecting and working on your issues with us has gotten me to think that... I overdo it.**

**[Patton]: You could never overdo it.**

**[Thomas]: Mmm.. well...**

**[Patton]: You are perfect and special just the way you are. I don't care how dark your clothes are. You shine... *singing* Bright like a diamond. **

**[Thomas]: You o- you okay, Patton?**

**[Patton]: I just got a lot of feelings...**

**[Roman]: Hey, Patton! ..Eyeshadow buddies.**

**[Patton]: We are buddies…**

“The room is affecting more and more people,” Remus notes. 

**[Logan]: Look, Anxiety, you're a natural fight-or-flight reflex. That's what you're instilled in humans to act as. And for some people... Yes, you're a little heightened, but what's a little extra height, right? I mean, that just means you're tall enough to ride every ride at Disneyworld. Unless you're too tall and you get decapitated on It's a Small World. Wow. Sorry for that little tangent. I am reeling right now. The point is too much of anything can be counterproductive.**

**[Anxiety]: Well, yeah, but for me-**

**[Logan]: Hold on! Yes, I'm about to provide more exposition, Thomas. Just bear with me.**

**[Thomas]: Okay...**

**[Logan]: The relationship between anxiety and performance can be expressed on this curve. Notice the Yerkes–Dodson curve. It's named after the psychologists, R. M. Yerkes and J. D. Dodson. They-**

**[Roman]: Get on with it, calculator watch!**

**[Patton]: Yeah, loud noises!**

**[Logan]: Okay, up here is where you want to be. The optimum degree of constructive tension. Yes, too much anxiety...Pushes us to this side of the curve and performance is hindered, which is less than ideal, but without you at all, Thomas is not just on this more relaxed, laid-back side of the graph which is also not ideal when you're trying to get things done. He's all the way down here.**

“Holy crap. Logan, are you okay?” Remus asks, concerned. 

“No, but it’s more believable this way,” Logan replies through gritted teeth. 

**[Roman]: By the horn of a unicorn, that WAS going somewhere! I normally would have fallen asleep, but I am not feeling like my fabulous self right now. I am bitterly jittery, and not very glittery.**

**[Anxiety]: So, with me, aren't you just always on the other side of that ...Curve thing.**

**[Logan]: Yerkes–Dodson curve.**

**[Anxiety]: Yeah, that.**

**[Thomas]: There's ways that I can work on that, Anxiety, But I'd rather work on it WITH you than without you at all.**

“Now we’re getting somewhere,” Remus mutters, “finally.” 

**[Anxiety]: How?**

**[Thomas]: I just need to make you feel listened to. You're like- like a really important alarm clock. Sure, the noise can be sudden and a little unpleasant sometimes, but it's important for me to recognize the concern, register it, and carry on, changing my actions, if necessary.**

**[Logan]: You're what made Thomas double and triple-check things he needed to study before taking tests and-**

**[Patton]: Also, you know that feeling of tinglyness after achieving something he didn't think was possible!**

**[Logan]: E equals MC scared!**

“Clever,” Virgil says aside. 

“Thanks,” Logan replies tersely. 

**[Patton]: Sorry, was that too loud? I was worried I wouldn't get another chance to speak and I wanted to share my thoughts before I forgot it.**

**[Thomas]: Anxiety... In small doses, you're what pressures me to get out of bed. To get moving, and doing stuff. I'm lucky to have you the way that I do.**

**[Logan]: Some people have anxiety that's heightened to the point where it becomes an incredibly difficult and hindering condition. Whether it's a symptom of a different issue or an anxiety disorder or the unfortunate result of something someone may be going through.**

**[Thomas]: And I don't want to downplay any of that, but I think, maybe I could benefit from trying to understand you better.**

**[Anxiety]: I mean, it's cool to see you all trying to be helpful. Well, most of you, but-**

**[Roman]: Anxiety, you're... ..what pushes Thomas to rehearse and rehearse before performances. You are that nervousness that he feels right before going on stage, but just as he does so... you ease up, and... you let his excitement and passion for performance take over. I think that's as good a sign as any that... you're willing to work as a team... and that you make us... better. Was that good? Did I do good?!**

“Holy shit. He actually did cave in. I didn’t think he would, Roman’s even more stubborn than I am,” Remus whispers, in shock. 

**[Patton]: I'm gonna cry. I just don't want to lose any of you.**

**[Logan]: Yerkes–Dodson!**

**[Anxiety]: Uh oh...**

**[Thomas]: Uh, what the heck is going on?**

Time to get them out before the room causes permanent damage. 

**[Anxiety]: These guys have all been in this corner of your mind for too long... It's corrupting them. All their main functions are starting to work to drive you far over to the other end of that curve.**

**[Thomas]: What?!**

**[Anxiety]: Hang on. We're getting them all out of here. Thomas, remember what you've learned... Breathe in for four seconds. Hold your breath for seven seconds. Now breathe out for eight seconds. Keep it up, Thomas. That's good, keep going.**

Carefully, and subtly, Virgil teleports all of them out of the room and up to the real world. He didn’t quite manage to replicate the rising-up-thing, 

**[Roman]: Okay.**

**[Anxiety]: That was a really risky thing you guys did.**

**[Thomas]: Yeah, I'm pretty sure that if you were with us from the start... you'd have kept us from doing that in the first place.**

**[Anxiety]: Being anxious about the idea of growing more anxious. Yeah, that sounds like me.**

**[Roman]: You... rescued me.**

**[Anxiety]: Yeah, well... fight-or-flight, am I right?**

Whoops, didn’t mean to let that little hint slip. Oh, well, Virgil doubts that anyone will pick up on it. 

**[Logan]: Incredibly right. Just like you keep Thomas away from potentially dangerous situations, you also enable him to escape from the ones he manages to get himself into.**

**[Patton]: I am incredibly proud of you, Anxiety.**

**[Anxiety]: Pfft -scoffs, embarrassed- Whatever.**

**[Patton]: But I'm more proud of myself for enduring the Great Spider Threat of 2017.**

**[Logan]: They were just curtains, Patton.**

**[Anxiety]: You all went through that for me...**

**[Roman]: Ah, don't sweat it, Brad Pitiful. It was no big deal.**

**[Thomas]: It was worth it to regain my good ol' worrywart.**

**[Logan]: That's right and just like you saved us, it's the vigilant people that work the hardest to save the world. Sometimes it's better for a society to be anxious than complacent.**

“Vigilant” had been a rehearsed word for Logan to use, shown by Virgil’s expression. They had discussed it to use intentionally as a little clue to the fans. 

**[Anxiety]: Another thing... I lower all expectations for social gatherings. So, if you do actually go out... anything remotely good, will be pleasantly surprising.**

**[Thomas]: OH MY GOSH!**

**[Patton]: There you go!**

**[Roman]: Yes!**

**[Anxiety]: Not so bad...**

**[Patton]: Party on, my dudes.**

**[Thomas]: Well.. glad to have you back, Anxiety, and I promise to make sure you feel listened to... And strive for a better balance from here on out. And to all of you out there-**

Here we go. 

**[Anxiety]: Wait. Oh, boy, I'm actually considering it...**

**[Thomas]: What? What?**

**[Anxiety]: You've kinda made me want to open up to you, but big surprise, I'm really anxious about it.**

**[Patton]: Anxious, like your name.**

**[Anxiety]: Yep, that was, uh... That- You're great, Patton, but actually.. on the subject of my name...**

**[Roman]: Shut up.**

**[Logan]: Oh, that's okay. No pressure if you don't want to-**

**[Patton]: Logan. Shut your ever-flapping gobtalker, okay?**

**[Thomas]: No pranks or misleading?**

**[Anxiety]: Not this time. Oh, man. Why did we have to have a heartfelt moment?**

**[Patton]: It's totally fine, this is a very accepting environment. But I have to tell you that I've been theorizing on it for a very long time. So if it's not exactly the name that I think it is... I will lose it.**

“That isn’t the exact opposite of an accepting environment,” Janus deadpans. 

**[Anxiety]: Okay, promise you won't laugh though...**

**[Thomas]: Of course not.**

**[Anxiety]: My name... My name is Virgil! Okay. It's like a band-aid. You just gotta rip it off.**

**[Logan]: Virgil?**

**[Roman]: -snorts-**

**[Virgil]: -hums anxiously-**

**[Patton]: Oh, but that doesn't end with "-an" or an "-on"... Shouldn't it be something like, uh... Virgan?**

“I’m gonna bash his head in,” Remus says calmly, which actually scares Janus a bit. A calm Remus is a dangerous one. 

**[Roman]: *Laughs***

**[Thomas]: Why's that so funny?**

**[Roman]: Um.. because, um... It's not.**

**[Thomas]: I think it is an awesome name.**

**[Logan]: It's not what I anticipated, but I do like it.**

**[Patton]: It's different, but I like that it's different.**

**[Roman]: It was... unexpected, but.. it took a lot to trust us with that information... Virgil.**

**[Virgil]: You can call me Virge.**

No one actually calls him that. Remus calls him Virgey sometimes, but mostly, they both just call him Virgil. The nickname is a way to distance himself from Patton and Roman. 

**[Thomas]: Well, this has been a day learning to embrace all of who I am, learning new things about myself... Thank you for opening up to us, Anxiety- uh, Virgil. Virge, for short.**

**[Virgil]: Whatever, I'm at least glad I can offer some help, even if sometimes I can be.. hard to deal with.**

**[Logan]: In Thomas' case, you are indeed manageable.**

**[Roman]: Yeah, and you are nothing compared to the others.**

“That isn’t enough out of you,” Janus says, shutting Roman up quickly. 

**[Thomas]: Others? What do you mean others? What others? Well, this is foreboding.**

**[Roman]: Ah, it's nothing. So long!**

**[Logan]: Farewell.**

**[Patton]: Auf Wiedersehen, goodnight.**

**[Thomas]: What was that all about?**

**[Virgil]: Look, I know I'm the one that's causing you to be suspicious, but honestly, table that question for another day.**

**[Thomas]: Gotcha. And Virgil?**

**[Virgil]: It's really weird hearing you say that.**

**[Thomas]: Honestly, thank you for all of the good stuff that you DO provide... You can be a good guy. I hope this helps shed light on some of the possible upsides of anxiety. Again, there are plenty of people out there dealing with conditions where anxiety isn't as easily manageable. And too much can, of course, be a hindrance, but for many of you, by taking time to accept it as a natural part of you, by making it feel heard and not letting it dominate you, hopefully, managing your anxiety will get a little easier each day. Until next time. Take it easy, guys, gals, and non-binary pals. Peace out! This video went over possible upsides to anxiety, but many of us struggle with anxiety in different ways. If you're struggling with anxiety or something else, just know that you're not alone and there are resources available to help you. Here are a few numbers you can call should you need help and not know who to turn to. Stay safe. I love you guys.**

***end card***

**[Logan]: Thought I saw this thing in here earlier. Is this my Alice in Wonderland puzzle book??**

Logan had actually given that to Virgil, but they needed something to do for the end card. Logan returned it afterwards. 

**[Virgil]: Oh... yeah.**

**[Logan]: I respected your privacy for this long. Please try to respect mine.**

**[Virgil]: Okay...**

***new scene***

**[Roman]: Greetings, friendo...**

**[Virgil]: Yes?**

**[Roman]: I couldn't help but notice that you had some very nifty posters back here...**

**[Virgil]: Ugh, you probably already own like 101 Disney posters.**

And you can conjure up whatever you want or need. 

**[Roman]: Yeah, I do. But me and these posters are simply meant to be-**

**[Virgil]: You can't have my sick nasty Tim Burton posters!**

**[Roman]: Ugh, fine.**

***new scene***

**[Virgil]: -groans- What?**

**[Patton]: Hey, kiddo. Not trying to bother you, just made you a little something for the room... Hope to see you soon.**

***tosses paper at Virge***

**[Virgil]: *Looks at paper, which happens to be a card that reads: "U R FAM"* *opens it where it says "ILY" with a picture of the four sides under a sun wearing sunglasses, a rainbow, and a heart on the other page* He never really was good at art...**

Needless to say, that card didn’t last long. Something that looked similar at a distance was made and placed in the room in case it was needed in the future, but that card itself was burned in a fire to celebrate their milestone. 

“We aren’t so close. We haven’t come so far, we haven’t made so much progress,” Janus whispers, as if he can’t realize it’s real. 

“I know. This is fantastic, I can’t believe this is actually working!” Remus says. He would have been twirling, but he’s fine with cuddling instead. 

“Soon. Soon we can be ourselves, without masks or hiding. Soon, Thomas will know about us, and accept himself,” Virgil says. 

“I can only hope for a good ending for all involved,” Logan murmurs. 

For the time being, the four of them sat, cuddled together by a bonfire in Remus’ side of the Imagination, dreaming, hoping, and wishing. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed!
> 
> I am most likely going to make this story a cosplay tag on tiktok! my account is @jaymeycosplay, and I have already filmed some videos for Paranoia Virgil that I can't wait to post! If you have tiktok and are interested in this kinda thing, let me know!


	21. Fitting In (Hogwarts Houses!)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh, boi, is this chapter a long one! the chappies are gonna have to get longer, just due to the videos getting longer. I dread writing SvS. 
> 
> also, side note, I do like this video, I know I make it seem like i don't in the chappie. I do, it's just a little disjointed and oddly paced.

“From what Roman was talking about in the meeting, this is going to a video attempting to use Hogwarts to make Virgil feel included,” Logan starts, “which, in my opinion, is just going to be senseless pandering to the fans.”

“Not quite, Lo,” Remus argues, “It means that this will be a relatively low-stakes video for us, allowing you two to work on your façade and build up the character you play. Not to mention, such videos do gain more goodwill from fans, especially as they are always eager to learn any small tidbit we are willing to give them. We use these videos to feed everyone small truths and small lies, while keeping the big picture hidden.”

Logan momentarily looks dumbfounded. Sure, he’s smart, but Logan is a different kind of smart than Remus. Remus is the kind of smart needed for an army or a secret agency, Logan is the kind of smart needed for complex mechanical projects and schedules. Logan already knows this, of course, from the months spent working with the Shadows, but they still never cease to surprise him. 

**[Thomas]: (to the tune of Never Gonna Give You Up by Rick Astley) ♪ Neville gonna give you up, Neville gonna let you down, Neville gonna turn around and for— ♪**

**[Joan]: (offscreen) -points a wand at Thomas- Petrificus Totalus!**

**[Thomas]: -instantly freezes and falls backward-**

***Sanders Sides intro***

**[Thomas]: WHAT IS UP EVERYBODY? Goodness, can you believe how far through this year we've already gotten? Summer is basically over, school is starting back up here in America, and Halloween is just around the corner!**

“My turn,” Logan notes, before rising up into the video. 

**[Logan]: Ah, Halloween. Is that the reason for your new, um... plum-pigmented pili?**

All of them now have the purple hair that Thomas has, although Virgil had purple hair before in his normal form. That’s because the host, Thomas, is the base template for all of the Sides and fragments; however, as the Shadows have shown, they don’t have to stick only to that template. Still, any changes the host makes, like dyed hair or a piercing, will affect all of them. Makes it easier to explain how the series is filmed, too, without revealing that Thomas could manifest them. 

**[Thomas]: Logan, look at YOU with the purple hair! It is very becoming.**

**[Logan]: Becoming a nuisance? Is that what you were trying to say? How is anyone meant to take me seriously when your head looks like Barney's unshaven armpit?**

**[Thomas]: Nah, I like it, and it's not for Halloween by the way.**

**[Logan]: Just to make me look foolish then, huh, Thomas? Well, congratulations on graduating to full-time clown. -sarcastically claps-**

**[Patton]: Congratulations on the cool colorful crown!**

Logan internally rolls his eyes, then, after some thought, rolls his eyes externally, too. 

**[Logan]: Yeah. Well, your sincere, congratulatory remark recolors my sardonic slight and makes it appear sincere. Let it be known I do not like the hair.**

**[Thomas]: You know, for some reason, not surprised that you like it, Patton.**

**[Patton]: Whatever makes you happy, I see a little peri-twinkle in your iris. Two different pur— shades of purple.**

“What was with that stutter? Is he just that out-of-breath?” Remus wonders. 

**[Roman]: It is a brilliant iridescent display, though I still say you could have gone with even MORE colors. Full rainbow next time!**

**[Patton]: -gasps-**

**[Logan]: Awful idea.**

**[Thomas]: Oh, I'm already full rainbow all the time. Ayyy!**

**[Roman]: What? You did not! Anyway, where's Virgil? I wanna see what good ol' “Panic! At The Everywhere” has to say about this.**

“Why are you acting like you’re against this? You don’t usually have purple hair anyway,” Janus asks. 

“Ah, but Anxiety doesn’t, and he would naturally be wary of anything that makes Thomas stand out, thus, I hide away when Thomas dyes his hair,” Virgil explains. 

Remus nods, “Makes sense.” 

**[Patton]: -gasps- Yes!**

**[Thomas]: -chuckles- Oh, yeah. He definitely does have something to say. (in a little baby voice) Virgil, you wanna come out? Come out this way and see what people think of the hair?**

“What the fuck is that voice?” Virgil groans as he resigns himself to popping in after that. 

**[Virgil]: -groan-**

**[Roman]: YASS BOI. Get it.**

**[Patton]: YESS! -snaps fingers-**

**[Thomas]: Hey dude... that's, I don't know why I said that... what do yo— what do you have to say?**

**[Virgil]: Look, you know me by now, you know I'm gonna have some concerns.**

**[Thomas]: And that's ok, what's up?**

**[Virgil]: It's just, you don't know what people are thinking—or saying—about it.**

Virgil uses a little bit of power to make Thomas understand how Anxiety would feel about it. For him, it is an intentional bit of manipulation, but, as Anxiety, it would simply seem to be a slip in control. It’s not like Morality and Creativity expect him to have any control, anyway, given how they think he grew up. 

**[Thomas]: Yeah, I will always have that little bit of nervousness about what people think of my appearance, colored hair or not. But, honestly, I'm happy with the changeup.**

**[Patton]: If you're looking for a reason Logan it makes Thomas happy! And isn't good mental health an important reason?**

**[Logan]: (reluctantly) -inhales- ...Yeah.**

**[Roman]: It certainly helps me think of a few new possibilities for the great selfie games.**

“The what?” Remus asks, “And why didn’t I know about this?”

**[Virgil]: And, I guess there is sort of a… uh… dark edginess to it, like… one of those…. Crayola crayon… Halloween packs.**

**[Roman]: THAT is your standard for dark edginess?**

**[Virgil]: I-I don't know! I'm just trying not to bring the group down here.**

Oh, this is so much harder than it was before! Virgil now has to juggle being Anxiety and being “Virgil,” while hiding Paranoia. This would’ve been easier if he’d used a fake name, but, too late for that now. 

**[Patton]: (emotional) You only help to lift me up, you sweet and sour misunderstood shadowling.**

“What the fuck was that?” Janus says, shocked. Remus also can only watch in fascinated horror at that nickname. Virgil has to fight the urge to vomit and/or sneer. 

**[Virgil]: ...What?**

**[Thomas]: Shh- e, hmm, just nod and agree. He has a lot of love to give.**

**[Virgil]: Well, all I'm saying is... Thomas, in your past it's been far easier to just blend in. When you make yourself stand out like this, yeah, it CAN be good, but a lot of times... it can be... not so good.**

**[Logan]: He's trying not to be harsh so as not to be too distressing, but he is the source of your anxiety. This is odd. HE is odd.**

**[Thomas]: Logan—**

**[Logan]: —BUT, he does have a point. Might one's effort to find happiness in unique self-expression lead to the unhappy result of being the odd one out?**

Secret agents gotta stick together. 

**[Thomas]: I mean yeah, I see the concern, but I-I don't think that should keep us from taking that risk. If it's not hurting me or others, sometimes being the odd one out can be... fun.**

**[Virgil]: Speak for yourself. Being the odd one out was my whole presence here, and it was not fun.**

Sneak a little bit of fabricated vulnerability in there, and Virgil’s got them, hook line and sinker. 

**[Roman]: AH HA! That is the crux of this issue. Virgil is a little too familiar with rejection and has had his fill.**

**[Virgil]: What? No!**

**[Roman]: He doesn't realize that sometimes standing out can feel outstanding! And I would know.**

**[Thomas]: Oh. Well... shoot. Maybe we need to make you feel included, as a valued part of me, so that you don't feel wrong for being different.**

**[Logan]: Roman that was... astute.**

**[Roman]: I know!**

**[Logan]: And you used the word iridescence earlier, you are on a clever streak today. Which is unusual, for you.**

Logan has to suppress a smirk. This is going to be the new rivalry, now that Virgil is no longer the “bad guy,” at least until Janus decides it’s time to join the party. 

**[Roman]: I know- Wait, what?**

**[Patton]: TONKS!**

**[Roman]: -holding a sword- GOSH! I literally almost took your whole face out.**

“And you say I’m the one who has no control,” Remus scoffs. 

**[Thomas]: Patton, you now have our attention.**

**[Patton]: That's what your hair reminds me of! Nymphadora Tonks, the metamorphmagus from Harry Potter!**

**[Logan]: OK, both of you with your big words today, stealing my thing... no big deal.**

**[Thomas]: HARRY POTTER!**

**[Roman]: DID YOU PUT YOUR NAME IN THE GOBLET OF FIRE?! Right? Is that what you were quoting from like Dumbledore from the fourth movie like what was that? It was such a weird line translation from the book to the-the movie... No?**

This video is already so goddamn weird, this might as well happen. 

**[Thomas]: Uh, it was more of a Harry Potter-themed idea I had just now, but that was um... that was great...**

**[Roman]: Aww... I know.**

**[Thomas]: Virgil, Harry Potter was this amazing book series that combined magic and fantasy and giant trolls and like troll bogies...**

**[Virgil]: Yeah, I know what Harry Potter is.**

The Sides, of course, know everything that Thomas knows, but all of the Sides have to know something for Thomas to know it. Hence, why Creativity knows how to speak Spanish and the Shadows know how to fight, but Thomas can’t do either of those things. 

**[Thomas]: BUT it also gave us this really cool system that helps us figure out where we fit in.**

**[Patton]: Oh, I can SORT of see where you're going with this Thomas.**

**[Thomas]: HATS off to you, Patton. Ehhh—**

**[Patton]: (in a low, serious voice) Aragog. A ginormous spider in the Harry Potter universe.**

**[Thomas]: Wait—what? No-**

**[Patton]: He's bold, he's terrifying, and no matter where we all fit in... we are all his prey.**

Again, this might as well happen. 

**[Thomas]: That... was NOT where I was going with that, Patton, but point well made.**

**[Patton]: He must be stopped.**

**[Thomas]: Hogwarts houses! In the books, the students get sorted into four different Hogwarts houses based off of the qualities that they exhibit.**

**[Patton]: Oh, that makes more sense.**

**[Logan]: Oh, ok, so you're saying this magical, some may say nonsensical, talking head-wear sorting system could be of use to us?**

**[Thomas]: Well, although simply being a device in the books, people reading them also began to be curious as to where they may be sorted if they went to Hogwarts, and a lot of Harry Potter house quizzes started appearing online. It sort of helped to promote this idea that we may be different, but we're all valued and important and all part of the same school.**

“What a lovely sentiment,” Janus drawls. 

**[Logan]: But the school's not real.**

**[Roman]: It was a metaphor, Erlyn Mire trash.**

**[Patton]: Oh! SCHOOL him! (quietly) Don't be mean though.**

**[Roman]: Fantasy worlds are my jam, bro ham.**

**[Logan]: Listen, I'm just doing my best over here.**

**[Roman]: BOOM.**

**[Logan]: Eh, guys—**

Time to break up the chaos and get back to the point of the video. 

**[Virgil]: So, what's the plan here?**

**[Thomas]: We're gonna sort you!**

**[Virgil]: Sort me?**

**[Thomas]: Well, sure, I myself am a Hufflepuff, but you all are different facets of my personality with different strengths and weaknesses. It may take some discussion, but I am sure that we can thoughtfully deduce where each of yo—**

**[Roman]: *points to himself* GRYFFINDOR— (cuts to Patton) HUFFLEPUFF— (cuts to Logan) RAVENCLAW— (cuts to Virgil) SLYTHERIN. There we go! End of Sanders Sides video! (to camera) Until next time, everyone. -exits-**

“Not quite, brother dear. Maybe take more time to consider?” Remus says sarcastically. 

**[Patton]: (softly) Oh, yay! -exits-**

**[Logan]: Thank God. -exits-**

**[Thomas]: WOAH WOAH WOAH WOAH WOAH WOAH!**

**[Patton]: -enters biting his lip**

**[Virgil]: Why am I a Slytherin? What are the qualifications?**

Technically, Virgil is a Slytherin, as Paranoia, as half of self-preservation, which is one of the biggest traits of a Slytherin. Ambitious and cunning also fit all of the Shadows. However, “Virgil” is most likely not a Slytherin. At least, he isn’t supposed to be. 

**[Roman]: Well, you're the... you're the dark and sinister one.**

**[Thomas]: Pump the BRAKES, Princey! That is not what qualifies a Slytherin!**

**[Roman]: Well, all the other houses are definitely taken by us so it's the only one he could possibly fit into.**

**[Thomas]: And that is a great example of what we are NOT going to do with Virgil.**

**[Logan]: OK look, fantasy is not my jam, my jam of choice, -pulls up a jar of jam- is Crofter's, and this video isn't even sponsored, I'm just a fan. Crofter's, the only jelly I will put in my belly.**

“Logan, what the actual fuck was that?” Janus asks. 

“Thomas wanted this video to be a bit more random, to try and lighten up from how serious last episode was. I’m not great at it, and I think this’ll just end up being disjointed and awkward, but my contributions were, again, ignored,” Logan explains quickly as soon as the camera is off him. 

**[Thomas]: ...What...was that?**

**[Roman]: Yeah, I mean, -pulls up his own jar of jam and a spoonful of jam in the other hand- I love me a spoonful of Crofter's, but that was a little out of left field, Logan. -eats the jam-**

**[Thomas]: WHAT IS HAPPENING?!**

**[Logan]: -tosses the jar- Fruit spreads aside, I've done some thinking on this fantasy organization process this, eh Dobby decimal system.**

**[Roman]: Nice.**

**[Logan]: Thanks. Whether or not the result of these quizzes that determine which Hogwarts houses one belongs to are authentic, they can reinforce someone's sense of self. So, if this is necessary to help Virgil feel better about himself, then I support it. With that said, let's break down these houses, shall we?**

**[Thomas]: Sure. You, uh, you have Gryffindor.**

**[Roman]: The brave ones!**

“The foolhardy, idiotic, reckless ones,” Remus sneers. He doesn’t like people who rush into things with no plan and no information. It’s why he beats Roman every time they spar. 

**[Thomas]: Well, yeah, but that's an oversimplification. They're also determined and chivalrous.**

**[Virgil]: (half whispering) And this is the one Roman thinks he's in?**

**[Roman]: Eh... doy.**

**[Thomas]: Then there's Ravenclaw, typically known as the wise and clever ones.**

“The ones who know nothing outside of what’s in their books,” Janus says, speaking truths for now. He can do that here because he’s talking about a fantasy world, something that isn’t real and could, therefore, be classified as a lie. 

**[Logan]: Ah, that is me isn't it?**

**[Roman]: The ones who think they're smarter than everyone else.**

**[Logan]: Well, I don't think I'm smarter than everyone else... I KNOW I'm smarter than everyone else.**

That is a bit of a lie. Logan knows he’s smarter than everyone else, when measuring by booksmart scales. The other Shadows have him outclassed in some of the other areas of intelligence, though, something that Logan is both unused to and eager for. He’s eager to learn about these other forms of intelligence that the other three wonderful, fantastic Sides have mastered, seemingly effortlessly. 

**[Roman]: -deep sigh-**

**[Thomas]: Then there's Hufflepuff, the loyal and friendly ones.**

“The outcasts, the leftovers, who are only loyal because all they have is each other,” Remus says, trailing off at the end as his description hit a bit of a chord with their situation. 

**[Patton]: (in a high-pitched voice) Oh, is that what you think of me, Roman?**

**[Roman]: I mean, yeah, you're the softest little puffball we got, Padre.**

**[Virgil]: You don't have to be mean to him--**

**[Patton]: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH THANK YOU ROMAN!**

**[Roman]: See?**

**[Thomas]: And then there is Slytherin who, yes get a rep in the books for being the bad guys, but, they're mainly known for being ambitious, cunning, strong leaders.**

“The evil, misunderstood, and the upper class assholes,” Janus continues with the descriptions. 

**[Virgil]: But that... that's not me.**

**[Roman]: Ye- no. Hmm... What the heckity heck? Five abs and one pec!**

**[Logan]: What a visual.**

**[Thomas]: What was that?**

**[Roman]: Just a little something I like to say when I'm confused so that I'm not alone in my confusion, see, it works. Virgil is not a Slytherin!**

Well, “Virgil” is not a Slytherin. Virgil most likely is, though the description Remus had of Hufflepuff also struck a chord in Virgil, so Virgil might be a Hufflepuff, too. 

**[Patton]: Aw darn... it was so close to being perfect.**

**[Virgil]: Oh. Sorry to ruin that for you.**

**[Logan]: You didn't ruin anything.**

**[Patton]: If you keep talking bad about yourself, I am going to physically fight you!**

**[Thomas]: No, no, that is the opposite of helpful, Patton.**

**[Patton]: (aggressively) Nobody talks about my child like that.**

Virgil has to actively restrain himself from throwing punches, or worse, knives at that. Morality abandoned him, actively banished him! He has no right to call him “son” now, like nothing ever happened! Logan looks over, concerned, because he can actually hear Virgil grinding his teeth in an effort not to do something that would blow their plan right out of the water. 

**[Thomas]: Ok, o-ok buddy.**

**[Patton]: -stares intently at Virgil and gestures that he's watching him-**

**[Thomas]: They are right though, Anxiety. I mean, this is why I think this is a good exercise. Maybe this will help me to look at my aspects from different angles. Maybe it's not so simple.**

**[Roman]: -rubbing his temples- Ugh... why is it never simple?**

Time to stir the pot a bit. 

**[Logan]: Yes, for instance, you Roman sound more like a Slytherin.**

**[Roman]: -a Slytherin hat appears on his head- What? I do not!**

**[Logan]: Oh, so you don't think you're a strong leader? You don't think you're cunning?**

**[Roman]: I'm not evil!**

**[Virgil]: Says who?**

**[Thomas]: Slytherins are not all evil. Ok? Let's just get rid of that idea right now.**

**[Roman]: But... Voldemort...**

**[Patton]: (hushed) Don't say his name!**

**[Roman]: -looking hard at Logan and sneering- Well, Patton seems more like a Ravenclaw to me.**

Logan actually has to keep himself from laughing. Roman might actually be mad, but Logan is enjoying this little game. He can see now why Virgil tolerated the antagonist role for so long: it’s actually a lot of fun sometimes. 

**[Patton]: -a Ravenclaw hat appears on his head- Ooh, it's blue.**

**[Logan]: Umm... that doesn't follow at all.**

**[Patton]: Indubiously.**

**[Roman]: Well, he's always the one coming up with those witty puns.**

**[Logan]: You call those witty?**

**[Patton]: Well, you call those glasses?**

**[Logan]: I mean yes, I'm not sure if you're implying something's—**

**[Patton]: Well, I don't think they'll pick up they don't have a cell phone! ZING! -laughs-**

**[Logan]: -deeply exhales- Ok I-I'm gonna walk that off for a second.**

To be fair, Morality is intelligent, dangerously so, and he seems to hide it just as well as Virgil hides his true nature. Why he does so, the Shadows have no idea, but they think it is to set Morality up as someone who has never done anything wrong, is a perfect little angel, so that the fans and Thomas are less likely to believe anyone who tells them otherwise when the truth comes out, as it inevitably will. 

**[Thomas]: There it is. Good. See this is what I mean by rethinking qualities.**

**[Patton]: Logan seems more like a Gryffindor!**

**[Logan]: -a Gryffindor hat appears on his head and he storms back into position- You see! Patton makes statements like that, and you think HE is a Ravenclaw!?**

**[Roman]: Uh, why is that now, Patton?**

**[Patton]: Because he's my hero. -swooning-**

**[Logan]: (clapping with each syllable) We get it. You're adorable.**

To be fair, his current persona is adorable, like a puppy. If this was all that Morality was, no one would have a problem with him. 

**[Thomas]: Yeah. Patton may have a point. I mean, Hermione was a Gryffindor and she was the smartest of them all. Gryffindors are also known to have short tempers, which I think could apply to both of you.**

**[Roman]: OH, SHUT UP!**

**[Logan]: FALSEHOOD!**

**[Virgil]: Ah, I did not miss that.**

“Proving his point much, Logan?” Remus directs up to Logan. 

“Apologies, and apologies, Virgil, for deafening you,” Logan says, getting himself together. 

**[Logan]: Gryffindors are self-righteous and arrogant.**

**[Roman]: Oh, ok Patton, I wasn't totally convinced before, but maybe Logan IS a Gryffindor.**

**[Virgil]: I do see that.**

**[Patton]: Right?**

**[Logan]: (flustered) Also they are impulsive and have no regard for the rules, does that sound like me? And ALSO that would what— leave Anxiety as Hufflepuff?**

**[Virgil]: -a Hufflepuff hat appears on his head-**

**[Thomas]: Y- I mean you don't all have to be in different houses.**

Poor Thomas. Virgil does honestly feel sorry for Thomas sometimes. He has to deal with all of them arguing and being complete dysfunctional nuisances, and that’s not even taking into account the ones he doesn’t know about yet. 

**[Patton]: Oh, bu- w- w-, ah wo- w-, well, wouldn't that be nifty?**

**[Virgil]: How would I be a Hufflepuff?**

**[Patton]: You are hard working.**

**[Roman]: Working hard to make Thomas parano-VIGILANT. Paranovigilant. D'you like that? I just made that word up just now! I'm basically Shakespeare! Uh…**

“What does he know?” Janus turns to Remus and asks. 

“I know I’ve mentioned that there is a Paranoia, but I didn’t think he’d made the connection that Paranoia is Anxiety. I made sure to talk about them like two different people, and never use real names. Still, he is smarter than we give him credit for. Roman’s an idiot, sure, but he can be surprisingly perceptive when he wants to be,” Remus considers, “I’ll have to see what I can get out of him later.” 

**[Virgil]: I don't work that hard.**

**[Patton]: OH! Hufflepuffs are also modest.**

**[Virgil]: Less modest, more self-deprecating.**

**[Patton]: What's that?**

Virgil couldn’t resist baiting Morality, seeing how far this little act of his will go. 

**[Virgil]: I talk bad about myself.**

**[Patton]: I will physically fight you!**

**[Logan]: Hufflepuffs are also known to be honest, and you certainly keep things 100.**

**[Thomas]: That was nice Logan.**

**[Patton]: Yup. Honest, patient, and impartial.**

**[Virgil]: Impartial?**

**[Patton]: Yep, they tend to not take sides unless given good reason to.**

**[Virgil]: -laughs- One thing that I am not in this group is impartial. I am always bringing up the cons to anything you guys talk about.**

**[Thomas]: Oh, I mean, I don't think that's exactly what Patton meant.**

**[Virgil]: I don't know. Plus I'm hardly patient.**

Remus snorts, “I don’t have to be Janus to know that’s a lie.”

**[Thomas]: No biggie, if that's not what you feel you are-**

**[Patton]: We can keep this magical mish-mash going. Prince can be Hufflepuff!**

**[Roman]: *his red sash is replaced with a yellow one that says 'Hufflepuff', the hat disappears* Ok, but this sorting has to make SOME sense.**

**[Patton]: Cedric Diggory was a Hufflepuff and he was a tri-wizard champion (quietly) before he died.**

**[Roman]: (mumbling) So was Harry and HE was a Gryffindor.**

**[Thomas]: And Hufflepuffs are said to make the best companions.**

**[Roman]: (intrigued) ...In a romantic sense?**

“Of course that isn’t what he goes for,” Janus sneers with some disgust. All of the Shadows are aromantic, or on that spectrum, and they view each other as the closest thing to romantic partners that any of them are ever going to get. 

**[Thomas]: Why not?**

**[Patton]: They're also particularly good finders.**

**[Virgil]: And you are very good at finding new ways to insult me.**

**[Roman]: (mildly offended/worried) Nooo, hey!**

**[Virgil]: Not this time around, relax, I noticed the effort, you're good.**

**[Roman]: (relieved) Whew! Ok. Well, Logan... you COULD be the Slytherin of the group.**

**[Logan]: *His tie is replaced with a green striped one, the hat disappears* Ooh, I actually understand that. Cunning, resourceful, a strong leader-**

**[Patton]: - a disregard for the rules.**

“A  _ strategic  _ disregard for the rules,” Remus corrects. 

**[Logan]: Wait, wait, what? No, that- that's Gryffindor.**

**[Thomas]: It is Gryffindor, but it's also Slytherin. Dumbledore did say that that was a trait Salazar Slytherin valued; a certain disregard for the rules.**

**[Logan]: That was a Griffindor talking about a Slytherin. I spy an obvious bias.**

“And this is why you’re a Ravenclaw,” Remus teases. Logan resists the urge to stick his tongue out like a child. What are these people doing to him? Logan’s already more comfortable with the Shadows, Sides he’s only gotten to know recently, than he ever was with Roman or Morality. 

**[Thomas]: Ok, but it was Severus Snape who said that Gryffindors have no regard for the rules so, hey, maybe they both do, maybe just one does, maybe they both don't. We could do this all day so let's just move on.**

**[Virgil]: Patton could be Gryffindor.**

**[Patton]: *his shirt is replaced with a red striped one, the hat disappears* -gasp- (whispered) Ooooh, I look like a pirate!**

**[Roman]: Explain.**

**[Logan]: Please.**

**[Virgil]: I don't know, he's Thomas' heart, he just seems like the most impulsive and reckless at times. I mean we're constantly working to rein him in.**

Virgil has gotten good at insulting the other Sides without them realizing that he’s insulting them. 

**[Thomas]: (points to Virgil) Good point! See that was a really good point to you. Also, valid argument Virgil.**

**[Patton]: Alright, so you must be... a Ravenclaw.**

**[Virgil]: *His shirt is replaced with a blue one which says 'Wise', the hat disappears* I mean maybe...**

**[Logan]: If anyone else here was going to be Ravenclaw... I would think it would be you.**

Left brain solidarity, as the fans would call it. 

**[Roman]: You are definitely a bit eccentric.**

**[Patton]: You're the common sense we need.**

**[Thomas]: You cause me to think through all possible outcomes to any given situation.**

**[Patton]: You've always been a savvy Sybill Trelawney.**

**[Virgil]: I suppose, but... I don't know I'm just the one who points out the problems. Ravenclaws are the ones who are innovative enough to actually solve the problems.**

**[Thomas]: What are you talking about? You've done that before.**

**[Virgil]: By accident. Or by drawing upon information that you already knew.**

**[Thomas]: So... you're saying that one's also an... uncomfortable fit?**

**[Virgil]: I don't think it fully sums me up.**

“I live to be as annoyingly stubborn as possible,” Virgil mutters, laughing to himself. 

**[Roman]: -sigh- Perhaps you're right. We've found certain traits that we can relate to, but, maybe it's best we stick with where we feel most comfortable.**

“Technically, the Hat puts you in the house with the traits you value the most, not the house with the traits you already have, but go off,” Remus mutters. Janus chuckles, having found Remus’ agitation amusing. 

**[Logan]: Well... If we went solely by that, *his tie changes back and he stands in a Ravenclaw robe* then this seems the most accurate to me.**

**[Patton]: *his shirt changes back and he stands in a Hufflepuff robe* This feels the most right for me!**

**[Roman]: *his sash changes back and he stands in a Gryffindor robe* Yeah, no surprise here you guys, ah!**

**[Thomas]: Virge? How you feelin'?**

_ Like I don’t want to be here anymore _ , Virgil thinks, tired of acting as “Virgil” already. 

**[Virgil]: I'm not sure...**

**[Roman]: Well, uh, they don't all have to be different. Uh... Does Griffindor feel best for you?**

**[Virgil]: *his shirt changes back and he stands in a Gryffindor robe* One thing I feel I'm not is reckless.**

**[Roman]: Ah, fair point.**

**[Virgil]: *He stands in a Hufflepuff robe* I'm not impartial, and frankly, not very friendly.**

**[Patton]: (mouths) I will fight you.**

**[Virgil]: *He stands in a Ravenclaw robe* I'm a problem identifier, but not a problem solver.**

**[Logan]: *goes to correct him but then stops***

**[Virgil]: *He stands in a Slytherin robe* And then there is what everyone expects me to be... but I don't feel like an ambitious, cunning, leader. I feel more like a play it safe evasive worrier... so what does this mean? I went into this hoping it would make better sense of it all, but now I'm even more confused than ever.**

That is true, this video had given him more to think about, just not on the subject they thought. 

**[Thomas]: So, you don't quite fit into any of the houses perfectly, big deal! You know who could have been in Slytherin OR Gryffindor? Harry freaking Potter.**

**[Logan]: Hermionie was going to be in Ravenclaw, but exemplified Gryffindor traits more.**

**[Patton]: Neville wanted to be in Hufflepuff because he didn't see the Gryffindor traits in himself at all!**

**[Roman]: You guys are making me feel really good about my house, thank you!**

“‘And this is my cosplay of an attention seeking whore,’” Remus quotes. Janus can’t help but burst out laughing. It’s so accurate, if a little harsh. 

**[Thomas]: Point is, there are examples of people who toe the line between multiple categories and they fit however they wanna fit.**

**[Virgil]: But I don't fit, that's the thing.**

**[Patton]: Says who?**

**[Logan]: You can be a Ravenclaw with Hufflepuff tendencies, you could be a Slytherin with Gryffindor tendencies- no, wait, not that one.**

**[Patton]: You can be Raphael AND Donatello!**

**[Logan]: Well, that's mixing metaphors, let's not confuse the issue.**

**[Roman]: A water bender AND an earth bender!**

**[Logan]: O-only if you were the Avatar, I thought we were talking about Harry Potter-**

**[Thomas]: You're a Greyjoy... and you're a Stark.**

**[Logan]: Thomas, you don't even watch Game of Thrones h-h-how do you-?!**

**[Roman]: You should though it's so good.**

**[Thomas]: Yeah, I've heard.**

**[Virgil]: I think I'm getting it guys. It's just I wish that I was a little bit more simple to understand.**

**[Thomas]: Oh, who wants that? No one is or should be that simple, I mean just the fact that my Hufflepuff self is comprised of so many aspects and passions is amazing. Figuring yourself out should be an adventure. And in the meantime, don't be afraid to stand out a little. Embrace your differences. Heck, I dyed my hair this saucy shade of sangria for a change and I like feeling a bit unique. Hopefully, you can too.**

**[Virgil]: -sighs- ...Well... *his robe disappears* Then I'm not picking a house. I don't need to belong to a specific Hogwarts house... in order to belong with you guys.**

_ I don’t belong with you guys, either, you made sure of that,  _ Virgil thinks vindictively. 

**[Patton]: AAAAAAAAAW! I'm proud of you.**

**[Roman]: TEN POINTS TO... uh, um, Virgil!**

**[Logan]: *taking off his robe* That was an option? I didn't have to participate in that at all?**

**[Roman]: Say, Thomas, your hair and these emblems have given me an idea.**

**[Thomas]: Roman, make it work... (quietly) Project Runway...**

**[Roman]: I say we go through a bit of a change too.**

**[Patton]: *taking off his robe* Ooh, how?**

**[Logan]: If you say mind palace again, we haven't even been BACK to the one you created in a long-**

**[Roman]: *turns around in a fancier version of his outfit with gold trims and his logo on his sleeves* Hm!**

**[Logan]: Oh, that's nice.**

“And that’s why the fans aren’t going to start shipping you two soon,” Janus teases to Logan, Remus giggling a bit at the thought. 

**[Patton]: Oh, new emblem thingy.**

**[Thomas]: Aw, Prince 2.0 my goodness.**

**[Patton]: Your shoulders were so boring to look at before.**

**[Roman]: Yeah, it's just a bit of a change, but I thought it would be nice.**

**[Logan]: Well, I suppose I could also participate, but I will not go as ornate or elaborate, I would just look silly.**

**[Roman]: I set the bar too high for you, that's ok.**

**[Logan]: *he clears his throat and reveals a new tie and logo, very similar to the last one* There. Nice simple logo change, clear and to the point.**

“Looking sharp there, raven,” Remus says. 

**[Patton]: Hey Logan! *Patton has a new logo and a onesie wrapped around his shoulders* Matching logos!**

“Is Morality trying to imply something to the fans here? It doesn’t seem like it,” Janus asks. 

**[Logan]: That's... very nice Patton.**

**[Patton]: Mine is a HEART with glasses.**

**[Logan]: Stealing my logo. No big deal.**

**[Roman]: What's going on with your cardigan?**

**[Logan]: Is that your cat onesie?**

**[Patton]: Maaaybe? *pulls up a hood to reveal it is indeed his cat onesie***

**[Logan]: Ugh, that will not suffice.**

**[Patton]: UGH! You never let me do anything fun!**

**[Roman]: Figure it out buddy, maybe something different for next time.**

**[Patton]: Virgil your turn!**

**[Virgil]: Oh, my goodness, do I have to? I mean, like, so many changes- I just told you my name.**

It’s a good thing Virgil had anticipated this and prepared something already. It would be much too shocking, and too much of a style change. 

**[Roman]: No, no you DON'T have to, I just thought-**

**[Virgil]: I actually, agh, I actually had this idea, but, like, it's a little out there. So, um...**

**[Thomas]: Go ahead, I mean if you don't like it, you can always change back.**

**[Virgil]: -sighs- Well, alright, but um, before I do I should probably confess that uh... *He appears in a purple shirt with an elaborately designed purple patchwork hoodie* I actually really dig the purple.**

The decorative white stitching on the jacket is actually Virgil’s own spider-silk, which he also uses in a variety of other crafting projects, like crochet. It’s a calming hobby to have, which is important for the embodiment of Paranoia. 

**[Patton]: WHOAAAA-OOOAAAAA-AAAAA-**

**[Logan]: That design…**

**[Thomas]: Get on his level.**

**[Patton]: (Coughing fit)**

**[Roman]: You good Patton?**

**[Patton]: I got overexcited...**

**[Logan]: Well, I will say this much, that is a jacket.**

**[Roman]: That is... magnificent... how you've managed to become even angstier.**

**[Virgil]: Oh-kay...**

**[Roman]: No no no, if that's what you want to uh... rock, then you... rock it, sir! Who needs a Hogwarts house when you have your own hog wild style... I don't even know what I'm saying anymore.**

“I think Virgil managed to break my brother!” Remus is literally on the floor laughing, before he suddenly stops as he remembers something:  _ Roman only acts like that when he has a crush.  _

**[Virgil]: Yeah, it is, uh, pretty Hog-wild... *shakes his head***

**[Logan]: Wonderful. I hope that you feel a little bit more like a part of this group, Virgil.**

**[Virgil]: I- uh, I do.**

**[Logan]: I'd say that we can call it a day if we're done swapping looks. *exits***

**[Roman]: And talking books. *exits***

**[Logan]: *Re-enters* I prefer reading in a nook. *exits***

**[Roman]: *Re-enters* That response has me shook. *exits***

“Are you trying to imply something there, birdbrain?” Remus asks, amused. Logan manages to hear him despite the fact that Logan had gone straight to the kitchen when he sunk out, as was customary. 

**[Patton]: Would you look at the time on the... clook. *exits***

**[Thomas]: Patton, the video is about doing your own thing. So- don't... do what they're doing- Honestly. Anyway, great new style, Virgil.**

**[Virgil]: Pfft. Thanks. Now I feel as big of a weirdo as the rest of these guys.**

**[Thomas]: That's good, you fit right in!**

**[Virgil]: Ah, I saw what you did there, a nice, little "bring it around full circle." That was cute. *exits***

Virgil also sinks out to the kitchen, and hangs near Logan while they wait for the end card. 

**[Thomas]: Yeah, I couldn't help myself. (to camera) If any of you feel like you don't fit in, that is ok. It's also ok if, whatever Hogwarts house you identify with doesn't perfectly embody you as an individual. There are many ways to look at ourselves and figuring ourselves out can be an ongoing thing for many of us. Try to embrace the mystery that you are. All the things that help you to relate to others, and all the things that make you stand out. Until next time, take it easy guys, gals, and non- binary pals. PEACE OUT!**

***new scene***

**[Thomas]: Before we enter the end card, just letting you know, if any of those little logos at the end of the video interested you, we now have them in shirt form. Also, in hoodie form, tank top, pins, buttons. If any of these things interest you, you can go to this website down here or click that link right over there. Uh... Any support would be great, it would help us to make future videos, but if not, don't feel obligated. No big deal. Just you guys watching is support enough, so thank you so much.**

***end card***

**[Patton]: *wearing all the Hufflepuff things* Hey, do you think that we can wear the new stuff and the Harry Potter stuff, like, all the time?**

**[Logan]: *wearing all the Ravenclaw things* It seems a bit excessive.**

**[Virgil]: *wearing Slytherin tie* It's not my house, but purple and green seem to go together, right?**

“Sure, if you want to look like the Hulk,” Janus says sarcastically. 

**[Roman]: *wearing all the Gryffindor things* Boy, it's a good thing that all this Harry Potter merchandise is just a figment of Thomas' imagination that he can just freely conjure up!**

**[Logan]: Oh, I know. Could you imagine how much money one would have to spend in order to have all these things for one simple video?**

**[Roman]: -laughs-**

**[Logan]: Humorous. Simply Humorous.**

**[Patton]: -joins laughter-**

**[Roman]: (Laughing) Could you imagine? (Continues to laugh)**

**[Virgil]: *looks directly into the camera and raises his eyebrows***

**[Logan]: *eating a spoonful of jam* Mmm. Crofter's.**

**[Roman]: Oh, my!**

**[Patton]: That'd be silly.**

Back in the kitchen, everyone takes their normal seats, though Roman seems to be trying to be closer to Virgil than normal. 

“Let’s begin. Did anyone have any ideas for what we could have done better in this episode?” Logan starts them off. 

“It was a bit disjointed, with some of the lines we had to deliver for the sake of comedy,” Virgil says, getting it out there before anyone can interrupt him. 

“Yeah, some of it just didn’t flow right,” Roman agrees, to the surprise of basically everyone at the table. 

From there, the discussion continues mostly like normal, the only variations being that Virgil is more outspoken and contributes more, and Roman agrees with Virgil way more often than normal. 

After the debrief is when things get interesting. 

“Virgil, could I talk to you for a second?” Roman asks, after Patton has already walked out and Logan is almost out the door. Logan pauses and looks back in askance. Virgil gives a subtle nod and a slight motion to his belt and ankle, letting Logan know that Virgil would be fine, he had his knives, and Janus was wrapped around his ankle in snake form, so he had backup, too. 

“Sure, I guess. What do you want?” Virgil mutters, hunching in on himself. 

“I have a few things, actually, and I wanted to say them off-camera so you knew I was sincere. First, I wanted to apologize. I am sincerely sorry for being such an ass to you in the beginning. It’s no excuse, but I judged you based only on the fact that you hung out with my brother,” Roman says, honesty obvious in his open expression. 

Virgil stands, shocked, for a solid minute, thinking. He hears a faint hiss and felt Janus tighten around his ankle. 

“I…accept your apology,” Virgil says tentatively, “but you know it doesn’t mean anything if you can’t prove it, right?”

“I know, and I will absolutely do my best to prove to you that I am sincere. In an attempt to start now, I would like permission to court you,” Roman replies. If Virgil was shocked before, he is floored now. Janus just about falls off of Virgil’s ankle in his shock, too. 

“I know I haven’t been the best, and I absolutely do not deserve the chance, but I would like to try with your permission. And not just as a way to make it up to you or anything, I have found myself gaining a genuine crush on you in the past months of working together…” Roman keeps talking, but Virgil’s in shock at this point, and his brain just isn’t processing anything Roman’s saying. 

“Roman, nice as the gesture is, I’m not really comfortable with romance. It requires too much trust for me, as the embodiment of Anxiety, for me to give to any one person,” Virgil explains, as gently as he could, once he manages to get his thoughts together. He doesn’t want to blow his cover now, so he can’t be disdainful or outright dismissive, but he needs to shut this down quickly, before it becomes an actual problem. 

Roman looks absolutely crushed, but understanding. He nods sadly and sinks out to his room. 

Virgil also sinks out to the Shadows’ side, making sure Janus is still on his ankle. Remus is prepared with a movie and cuddles for his still-shocked partners. Slowly, the other two come back to themselves. 

“Did you expect this?” Virgil asks Remus. 

“Sort of. Earlier, during the video, he was acting weird, and that’s when I noticed, not soon enough to warn you, though,” Remus replies softly. 

The three settle back into a more comfortable silence, taking comfort in each other’s strength. Later, they’ll explain that shitshow to Logan, and won’t that be interesting? But, for now, they just sit together and try not to think about what happened. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed!!
> 
> Two things before you go!   
1) I am officially making this a cosplay tag on TikTok!! I am playing Virgil, but all the other spots are open for audition for another week or so!  
https://www.tiktok.com/@jaymeycosplay/video/6801537027146796293?u_code=d7l2gbcjb9f11m&preview_pb=0&language=en×tamp=1583606311&utm_source=copy&utm_campaign=client_share&utm_medium=android&share_app_name=musically&share_iid=6801172380364818182&source=h5_m  
Sorry for the long link, but that's the official AU announcement, if anyone is interested!!
> 
> 2) I have a discord server! Link is https://discord.gg/hF68YWT . Feel free to come and hang out, ask questions, make friends, whatever!!
> 
> As always, and I don't say this enough, thank you so much for reading this little passion project of mine.


	22. MOVING ON, Part 1/2: Exploring Nostalgia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this took so long, friends! I got a full time job this summer. combined with the general stress of a pandemic and several new hyperfixations, well, I got distracted. I cannot promise any fast updates anymore, as I have no chapters prewritten anymore, that stopped being a thing in January, I think.
> 
> Also, you're not imagining it, I did change my username. this way, it matches most of my other social media and I don't have to remember 15 different usernames.

Patton is not feeling great, both in general and about this specific episode that they are about to film. He knows that it’s his fault, he’s the reason that Depression is getting powerful enough to actually have an effect on Thomas’ behavior, he’s fueling Heartbreak too much, but he’s just so  _ lonely. _ Roman probably is also a bit at fault for Heartbreak’s power, given his confession and subsequent rejection, but Patton knows it’s mostly his fault. 

Anxiously, Patton waits for the video to start. 

**[Thomas]: This is the part of the video where I usually lead off with some sort of silly, out of context joke, but y'know by now you already know the drill. -sighs- (Drill whirring) His name's Bill.**

A little bit weak, but a quality joke, especially for the headspace Thomas is in right now. 

***Sanders Sides intro***

**[Thomas]: What is up, everybody?! Oh, that wasn't good... I'll tell you what's up with me, I feel like a raging dumpster fire. I- you know- I, I want to really get going and deliver this video with the same pep and bounce that I usually do, but I don't know, I mean, like... When you're feeling sad, you're feeling sad.**

Patton honestly feels guilty for how Thomas is feeling. He’s the one in charge of feelings, he should be able to control his own feelings so they don’t affect Thomas. Just look at Virgil! He clearly has more anxiety than he lets Thomas feel! Why can’t Patton do the same? 

**[Virgil]: I'll take Redundant Statements for 400-- Wait. Am I the first one to show up? That's not good.**

**[Thomas]: Yeah, Virgil I'm not, uh, not feeling that great today.**

**[Virgil]: No?**

**[Thomas]: Yeah.**

**[Virgil]: Yes, you-- wait, n- Yes, meaning no or yes meaning you're feeling good?**

**[Thomas]: No no no, yes as in I agree with the first statement.**

**[Virgil]: My first statement was about your redundant statement.**

**[Thomas]: Not that first statement.**

**[Virgil]: You can only have one first statement, Thomas.**

**[Thomas]: Alright, starting over, I feel bad.**

Patton feels another pang of guilt, and he knows Thomas feels it, too. 

**[Virgil]: ...Okay?**

**[Thomas]: Is that okay?**

**[Virgil]: I mean, yeah, it's just, nothing's coming up. You're ahead of schedule. You got no complaints from me.**

**[Thomas]: That's nice.**

**[Virgil]: Nevermind, I do have a complaint. You're behaving strangely.**

**[Thomas]: Oh, well.**

**[Virgil]: Ok, I guess I'm going to have to kick in here for a sec. Thomas! You're wasting time on this YouTube video so you better start getting into your dilemma and stop putting it off for later!**

Strangely, Patton feels  _ proud _ of Virgil. Sure, Patton’s a father at heart, but he hasn’t known Anxiety for very long, and Virgil for even less time. Still, Patton is proud of how far Virgil has come, even if he sometimes feels like he has no right to feel proud. After all, Patton didn’t raise Anxiety; no, he left him in the Dark, raised by Deceit and with that insane Creativity. 

**[Thomas]: Ugh. I've just been... thinking.**

**[Virgil]: Thinking? About what?**

**[Thomas]: -exhales- Guys...**

**[Virgil]: What else is new?**

**[Thomas]: ...and Dolls.**

As Thomas says this, Patton can feel a pang, of loss, grief, and heartbreak, coming from both him and Roman. There’s no way Thomas didn’t feel that one. 

**[Virgil]: Oh s***! I thought we were done with this. Uh, can everyone else get in here, please? I am not equipped for this.**

Patton can’t bring himself to answer the summons, not yet. He needs more time, just a bit, to be happy-pappy Patton, to not bring the video down. 

**[Logan]: -sighs-**

**[Virgil]: I didn't realize that "everyone" meant only one.**

**[Logan]: Patton and Roman are preoccupied.**

Abruptly, Patton realizes he hasn’t seen Logan outside of videos and planning for a full week. When did that happen? Patton usually made sure they all got together every night for dinner, even if they don’t strictly  _ need _ to eat. 

**[Virgil]: Ah. Helpful. Thomas? Care to explain?**

**[Thomas]: -annoyed exhale- I've been thinking about "Guys and Dolls".**

**[Logan]: Yes. I'm well aware. Thomas, it is time to move on. I feel like I'm-- heh, listen to me, "feel like"-- I feel like I'm nearly out of productive things to say on the matter. I'm just-- frustrated.**

Patton figures he’s stalled enough, even though he doesn’t feel fully ready. He grabs his cat onesie, needing the comfort it will give him, and hoping Logan won’t notice. 

**[Patton]: Hi, Just Frustrated, I'm Sad. I mean...**

**[Logan]: Patton? Are you... still wearing that cat onesie? From the previous video?**

Drat, he noticed. 

**[Patton]: Aw, I literally put it back on just meow.**

**[Logan]: Well. That's just perfect.**

**[Patton]: Purr-fect?**

**[Logan]: You KNOW that's not what I meant. We already have one situation we have to deal with, and I told you that's not a practical garment.**

**[Patton]: You can try to knock me down, Logan, but I will always land on my feet... like a cat!!**

Patton feels like he’s getting into a rhythm, distracting everyone from the problem and making them happier. He’s even feeling a bit better himself!

Elsewhere, a snek boi tastes another lie. 

**[Roman]: I've got it! Thomas, you write down all of your thoughts and feelings in an eloquent letter and deliver it to him in a basket full of his favorite things.**

**[Thomas]: Maybe...**

**[Virgil]: WHOA, whoa, whoa... what?!**

**[Logan]: He's been brainstorming all day and he has yet to come up with one productive, non-creepy idea.**

**[Roman]: I'm not creepy, I'm joking, alright? -laughs awkwardly- I... You just don't understand love.**

**[Logan]: I understand that it's making you act pathetic.**

Okay, time to derail this argument before it gets worse. 

**[Patton]: Somebody say "cat aesthetic"?**

**[Logan]: Take it off.**

**[Patton]: Oh, that old cardigan just weighs me down!**

**[Logan]: That's patently absurd, surely the onesie is heavier.**

**[Patton]: Woulda been funnier if you had said "Patton"ly.**

**[Virgil]: Can we all just focus on the issue with Thomas? Ugh... I can't believe I'm the one corralling you guys.**

**[Logan]: Indeed. Uh, the situation we all seem to be aware of by now is that Thomas is once again thinking about "Guys--**

**[Patton]: Well yeah!**

**[Roman]: What else is new?**

**[Logan]: -- and Dolls". "Guys and Dolls". The musical.**

Patton feels part of himself break all over again, and he knows Thomas felt it, too. Still, he tries to play it off as best he can, playing dumb and hoping to convince the others that it isn’t his fault Thomas is feeling this way, even though it is. 

**[Thomas]: -whimpers-**

**[Patton]: Oh wow...**

**[Roman]: Ah. That too.**

**[Patton]: Uh, what about it though? I mean, it's a fine show, but uh... aren't there more important to talk about? Or, better shows!**

**[Thomas]: (still whimpering)**

**[Patton]: There's a Harry Potter... play. There's a Harry Potter play... We just did. P-- Harry Potter...! You wanna talk about Harry Potter play?**

**[Logan]: Patton, you know full well what it means when Thomas is thinking about "Guys and Dolls".**

**[Patton]: I don't know what it means. Sue me!**

**[Thomas]: (laughing/crying) Ohh I get it, that's a song from "Guys and Dolls". Ahh...**

**[Patton]: Believe me, Logan, if anything serious is ever eating at Thomas, I'll know.**

**[Thomas]: There's another one, you're on a roll... -cries-**

_ I guess puns really aren’t the way to go with this,  _ Pattons thinks, wincing internally. He’d hoped that making light of the situation would make Thomas feel better, but it seems it had the opposite effect. 

**[Roman]: Why don't we just call him? You know? We can call him right now.**

**[Virgil]: Stop.**

**[Roman]: A... text then.**

**[Logan]: Roman, sit down, you're rocking the boat.**

**[Thomas]: Oh!... My God... You're-- You too...**

**[Logan]: The dominoes were all set up, I had no choice but to topple them.**

**[Patton]: Logan, that joke was just the cherry on topple- I am so sorry.**

**[Logan]: Wow...**

**[Roman]: Bad...**

**[Patton]: Not my best! It wasn't my best.**

**[Virgil]: I'm seriously so tired of being the taskmaster here today. Can we...?**

**[Logan]: Right. Thomas, why are you still feeling so dejected over something that transpired months ago?**

**[Thomas]: I'm sorry, guys. I... I really am, it's just... When you've been in a relationship as long as I was, it's hard to let go of those feelings. I don't know why, but it is not a problem that is so simple that it can be solved by standing here talking with you.**

Considering that’s what this whole video is going to be about, Patton hopes Thomas is wrong in this instance. 

**[Roman]: Well maybe we don't have to let go of those feelings. There must be some sort of way to recapture the past.**

**[Virgil]: You have any chill?**

**[Logan]: Actually... Roman may be on to something.**

**[Virgil]: He is?**

Patton stays quiet, noticing something. Virgil and Logan have a very interesting, ongoing silent conversation, or so it seems. Both of them occasionally, but subtly, react to something Patton can’t see or hear, as well as to each other’s small movements. It’s very subtle, so Patton isn’t surprised that he didn’t notice it earlier, but now that he’s seen it, he can’t unsee it. 

**[Roman]: I am? I am!**

**[Logan]: Well, in a way. I don't mean resurrecting a long-dead relationship, so to speak.**

**[Roman]: Eh- so, you're not talking about rekindling the fire with our former flame?**

**[Logan]: I am definitely not talking about that. What do I look like, a Boy Scout Scoutmaster? I'm speaking in reference to what once was; a bittersweet longing for the past can yield positive results.**

**[Thomas]: I mean... -sighs- I can say the only way that I'm making myself feel better, is by remembering the good times.**

Patton stands up a little straighter (hah!), excited to listen to Logan. He might not always seem it, but Patton is always happy to listen to Logan’s monologues about relevant topics. He explains it so well, in a way that everyone can understand. 

**[Logan]: A 2013 study authored by Wing-Yee Cheung, Erica G. Hepper and four of their colleagues found that not only can nostalgia make one feel better in the moment, it also has the potential for making them feel more optimistic about the future.**

**[Roman]: And what better way to bring people together than by relating to one another's nostalgic memories? Say, that's a good idea for bringing together you and--**

**[Virgil]: Don't.**

**[Roman]: ...it's called a JOKE... Dude... Have you ever heard of it? I mean-**

**[Thomas]: In what way would it do that, Logan?**

**[Logan]: You can let your past, motivate your present. There were good times, you accomplished much, you won medals -**

**[Roman]: Won HEARTS!**

**[Logan]: Let those positive checkpoints inspire you to keep going for more.**

Patton immediately sees a problem with this, stewing in the past. Living in the past is kinda all that Patton does, and he thinks it might be a bad idea to introduce this habit to their host. 

**[Patton]: But what if looking at the past makes him feel kinda iffy about the, uh, present?**

**[Virgil]: Yeah, do you really think it's a good idea for him to be soaking in a big old tub of the past?**

Patton actually feels a little glow of happiness break through his funk. Virgil agrees with him?!?

**[Logan]: Well, granted, there have been many different views on the concept of nostalgia. As recently as the '80s a psychoanalytic theorist described extreme nostalgia as debilitating but since then a great deal of research has contradicted this. It's perfectly normal for humans to nostalgize. They do it at least once a week.**

**[Thomas]: Oh yeah. I remember my grandma used to pull out this old scrapbook each weekend-**

**[Logan]: You see? Even now he is feeling nostalgic about an instance in which he felt nostalgic. Incredible.**

**[Roman]: Say what about a scrapbook filled with all the good times with-**

**[Virgil]: No!**

**[Roman]: Look up the word JOKE in the dictionary, Jack Smellington!**

**[Logan]: From what I can gather, Thomas is already experiencing that bittersweet longing for the past; I say, that instead of fighting him on this and creating a more distressing headspace in the process, we allow him to indulge in those memories. Perhaps that will help him to understand that circumstances can improve.**

**[Roman]: Can and will?**

**[Logan]: Can. Let's not jump the gun here.**

**[Virgil & Patton]: Can they?**

Whoops, didn’t mean to let that slip out. Patton feels some panic, both from himself and Virgil, who clearly didn’t mean to say that, either, and concern from Logan, as well as some concern of his own for Virgil and Roman. Quickly, Patton pastes on a smile. 

**[Logan]: Of course, they can. If you've previously experienced stretches of time during which you've felt fulfillment and happiness, then the idea that you could experience something similar in the future is not inconceivable. It's happened in the past; therefore, it's decidedly not impossible.**

**[Virgil]: I'll be the first to admit this isn't the resolution I'd like us to settle on, but... I don't have much else to add. Whatever can work. There definitely seems to be room for improvement.**

**[Thomas]: ROOM!**

**[Virgil]: GAH! Would you, like, WARN me before one of your little... out of context epiphanies?**

Patton feels his stomach sink as he gets an inkling of Thomas’ idea, somehow just knowing that this is going to go badly, though he can’t explain how he knows or what he thinks will happen. 

**[Thomas]: Patton?**

**[Patton]: Yeah? Whoa -**

**[Thomas]: I'm sorry I got excited. I know that Virgil's room is where I have to go in order to heighten my anxiety, I gotta think that your room is literally sunshine and rainbows.**

**[Patton]: Wha... -laughs nervously- I-- -laughs- It's- It's not quite like that, uh...**

**[Thomas]: Still, you're at the core of a lot of my happy feelings.**

While Patton wants Thomas to keep thinking of him like that, happy, sunshine and rainbows, Patton never did like lying. 

**[Patton]: I'm at the core of a lot of your feelings.**

**[Thomas]: Maybe going there and enhancing those happy feelings is what I need.**

**[Roman]: Honestly, that does make sense. You should see it, Patton holds onto everything in the past that you've cherished. I mean, it is PEAK proud papa.**

**[Thomas]: Perfect!**

**[Virgil]: Pardon?**

**[Patton]: Patton! -giggles- I'm just-- thought I would hop aboard at the alliteration station.**

**[Thomas]: -laughs-**

Patton decides to try to warn Thomas again. 

**[Patton]: But seriously my room is kind of a mess I dunno if this is a good idea.**

But like Cassandra of old, his warning is ignored. 

**[Logan]: Patton, don't you want to help Thomas move on?**

**[Patton]: Well, yeah. Of course. I would love that but I...**

**[Logan]: Good. Then it's decided.**

Logan does feel a bit sorry for forcing Patton into this, but he knows that if there is to be any hope of peace between the Sides, that Patton has to drop the happy facade. And if he won’t drop it willingly, then Logan will shatter it himself. 

**[Patton]: Uh, okay.**

**[Virgil]: Uh...**

**[Roman]: Another Feel Trip!**

**[Thomas]: Great. Let's...**

**[Roman]: Wait Uh. Did you, did you see what I did there? Did you see? I made it sound like I said "field" trip, but I said "feel" trip. (emphasizing) Feel trip.**

**[Thomas]: Yup it was, it was a good one... Very Romano-cheesy.**

Patton doesn’t even really register the puns, too nervous for what the others are planning. 

**[Roman]: Romano! Okay well... Here's to hoping that nickname doesn't last!**

**[Virgil]: Please, Romano. Thomas are you sure...**

**[Thomas]: To Patton's room! Thinking of happy thoughts.**

**[Patton]: Here we go...**

**[Roman]: Luck be a lady tonight!**

**[Logan]: Enough with the "Guys and Dolls".**

**[Virgil]: I've got a bad feeling about this.**

**[Thomas]: I've got a bad feeling about everything. That's why we're doing this.**

**[Virgil]: Mm... okay.**

***in Patton’s Room***

Being back in his room immediately eases a majority of Patton’s worries, though there is a niggling sensation that he can’t quite get rid of. It’s probably nothing, though. 

**[Thomas]: Whoa. I immediately have less bad feelings! Wait a minute... This is nostalgia nirvana in here! I am already feeling the sweet embrace of yesteryear.**

**[Patton]: -giggles- YEAH! Oh, I'm so glad to have y'all here! Oh! I don't know why I was hesitant about it before. Hold on! Gonna show ya around the ol' Patton Palace!**

**[Thomas]: (happily) Is that my glowworm!? Look at how creepy it looks! Oh, my goodness look at all the memories you got stored in this place, Patton!**

**[Logan]: There seems to be a high concentration of items encompassing your education here, Thomas.**

Logan is slightly concerned, right off the bat, at the effect the room seems to have on him and Virgil. It might just be the change in scenery that is making Virgil uneasy, but Logan feels uncomfortable, like he doesn’t belong in this golden room. 

**[Thomas]: Oh, ho ho ho man!**

**[Logan]: So many years of chemical engineering and science that you decided to flush down the metaphorical toilet.**

**[Thomas]: I forgot about everything I learned.**

**[Patton]: Ah, good times.**

Patton idly notices that both Virgil and Logan look somewhat uneasy, which makes some sense. In many ways, Patton and Logan are opposites, and Patton suspects that he would feel similarly uneasy in Logan’s room. But why is Virgil uncomfortable?

**[Logan]: And hopefully more good times ahead. There's always time for you to abandon your current lifestyle and pursue a doctorate.**

**[Roman]: Sweet Barbra Streisand! The show memories! The performances! The attempts at dancing we think went okay but would prefer not to focus on.**

**[Thomas]: I can box step with the best of them though. -clears throat- (under his breath) Five, six, seven, eight.**

**[Roman]: No need to demonstrate.**

**[Virgil]: Oh, for crying out loud! Are these all your old journal entries and stories that you wrote in middle school? These are so cringy, why would they be here?**

Why wouldn’t they be here? They’re a part of Thomas’ past, and they show how much he’s grown! Also, Patton thinks, because this stage of his life was important enough for a Side to latch on to the aesthetic from it. Patton doesn’t want to say this out loud and risk potentially making Virgil more uncomfortable, though.

**[Patton]: Because they're still Thomas' work and it's very fun to look back on. N-Now don't be embarrassed, Virgil.**

**[Virgil]: You really liked drawing Yin Yangs on the margins of your notes.**

**[Thomas]: That, and houses. A little box with a roof, and two windows, and a door.**

**[Logan]: Alright so we're here, now we can let the reminiscing take place, and get it out of the way. Who wants to start?**

**[Thomas]: Yeah, I think we already started, Logan.**

**[Logan]: Oh! Great, I don't know how this works.**

Patton decides it’s best to stop worrying, and just lose himself in his room. After all, Logan didn’t seem too concerned, was actually supportive of this, and what does Patton know compared to Logan?

**[Patton]: Ey! Remember this? (clicks button)**

**(The Rainforest Rap starts playing)**

**[Thomas]: -soft gasp- Is that...**

**[Thomas & Logan]: The Rainforest Rap!**

**[Roman]: Oh, my stars, it is!**

**[Patton]: (Yoda voice) Spitting bars it is! (Stuttering) Y-Yoga? From Star Trek?**

**[Thomas]: -laughs- Alright, turn it off. We don't want a copyright strike.**

**[Patton]: Alright.**

**[Logan]: This... this is what inspired your interest in helping to preserve the rainforest. And then helping the environment... which in turn led to you pursuing chemical engineering in the first place!**

Idly, Patton admires Logan’s ability to make connections from seemingly nowhere, but he does wonder if that ability sometimes backfires on him, before shaking himself. They’re Sides, they don’t have emotions beyond their functions. 

**[Thomas]: It seriously all stemmed from that simple little tune. What?!**

**[Roman]: Tropical rainforest? More like bop-ical rain forest. The song is a bop!**

**[Logan]: It stuck with you so much, I can still recall it to this day. Welcome to the Jungle.**

**[Logan & Roman]: It's so exciting! Exotic, mysterious, and we are inviting**

**[Logan, Roman & Thomas]: YOU ON AN ADVENTURE!**

**[Virgil]: Stop. Please. Too much... Embarrassing.**

**[Thomas]: AH! Man, this takes me back!**

**[Patton]: Hey, you remember this?**

**[Thomas]: My little hard covered book! Yes! Oh, my goodness! Wait, I talked about my imagination, all the things I could do with it! The things I could create! Oh, my goodness, the memories! This is me electrifying my brother.**

Internally, Patton flinches. That was when Creativity had started getting worse and worse ideas. Only a few years after that book, Patton split Creativity in Roman and the other one. Does the other one even have a Name? He must have, Deceit took him shortly after the split. Patton feels faintly guilty for not knowing this other Side’s Name, for splitting them in the first place, before his room washes that nasty feeling away. 

**[Roman]: -sighs contently- All the accolades you've racked up on the stage. The cheers, the laughs. Oh. Look! The first community theater award you ever received, a Golden Apple. Oh! You remember?**

**[Thomas]: Y- Oh, my goodness, yes. I- I won best actor for playing Ko-Ko in Hot Mikado!**

**[Virgil]: One of the first times you were awarded for acting weird.**

**[Thomas]: (dramatic voice) And more would follow.**

**[Logan]: And therefore, more faux, golden fruit may await you if you continue to pursue your nonsense art of leaping around in front of everybody, shouting about things you've never experienced.**

**[Patton]: Ah - T- Um... Eh T- uh, Thomas! I bet this might bring ya back.**

**[Thomas]: Er- sh! (thud) Okay. This is all very nice, but you guys gotta stop handing me things all at once, okay?**

**[Patton]: I'm sorry! I'm sorry.**

**[Thomas]: -sniffs- GAH! That is the smell of Christmas!**

**[Patton]: In a box!**

**[Thomas]: Yeah!**

**[Patton]: The tree, the cookies, the eggnog that your parents made you?**

**[Logan]: Ah. The- unhealthy.**

**[Thomas]: Oh! Those memories were so thrilling and so mysterious!**

**[Logan]: See, there is an annual event you have to look forward to.**

**[Thomas]: Yeah, but I mean like it's different now. I mean, uh, as an adult, it it's... I don't know. It's not the same as when you're a kid.**

Distantly, Patton thinks there might be something wrong with that answer. It isn’t quite in line with why Logan said they were here, is it?

**[Logan]: Well. That... may be the case, however-**

**[Virgil]: Old poems you wrote? Ugh. You were trying so hard to be edgy. I feel like I'm an archaeologist that dug up an ancient cringe compilation.**

**[Thomas]: Look, I had a lot on my mind growing up! Especially as a teenager!**

**[Virgil]: -chuckles- That you did. Constantly escaping into your mind to get away from real life, wondering when you were gonna start liking girls; Creating these other worlds where things just made more sense.**

**[Roman]: Ah yes, those were hectic and busy times for me! Whoa, that's about the time that you upgraded from small nuisance to giant thorn in our side! (stammering) --uH, ER-- uh, for real good reason!**

Patton, being Thomas’ morality, but also his emotions, could feel the other Sides emotions, and sometimes other people’s emotions, too, if it was someone that Thomas was close to. In response to what Roman says, Patton feels a distinct hostility coming from several different directions, making it hard to pinpoint which Side is responsible for it. It isn’t hatred, nothing so cold as that, but it is sharp, cutting through the funk Patton’s own room had put him in. He has just enough time to notice that Logan and Virgil are becoming more tense and uncomfortable before being swallowed by his room’s effects again. 

**[Virgil]: Yeah, it was a busy time for me too. I mean, the stakes were high. Thomas was really starting to develop as a person then.**

**[Thomas]: Oh yeah, that's right! Oh, that's funny; so I might not have had Roman create half as many as the stories and worlds as he did without Virgil giving me reason to. That's weird...**

**[Logan]: Well, fortunately, things make more sense now. Or, rather, will make more sense in the future. Right?**

**[Thomas]: I guess. -chuckles- I mean, that's the goal, right?**

**[Logan]: Developing a clearer perspective? Somewhat, yes. ...Is that not what's happening?**

**[Thomas]: ...I'm not sure what's happening.**

Patton feels Thomas’ confusion and decides to cheer him back up.  _ No unhappy feelings, _ he thinks, conveniently ignoring the Repression Box™ in the corner. 

**[Patton]: I'LL show you what's hippity-happening!**

**[Thomas]: Is that one of my Pound Puppies?! AAAHHH!! Chocolate! His name is Chocolate! Oh!!!**

**[Roman]: Boy, times were amazing back then. Some might say, way better.**

**(off-key recorder squeak)**

**[Logan]: Wait--**

**[Patton]: It was just so sweet, and good, and pure, and happy, and wholesome, and sweet, and lovely, and I'm running out of things to say--**

**[Thomas]: Man, I miss all this...**

**[Roman]: Oh man, remember when our outfits used to look like this?! Wow! So embarrassing!**

**[Patton]: Oh, feels like only yesterday...**

**[Virgil]: We changed in the last video.**

**[Thomas]: Patton, your room is awesome! Like, I don't know why you would want to leave it! Ever! Like, heck, I don't want to leave my room half the time...**

**[Logan]: What??**

**[Patton]: Welllllllllll... I... you know, I, uh...**

**[Logan]: Thomas, looking back at these euphoric memories sure does inspire hope for the future, does it not?**

**[Thomas]: Yeahyeahyeah sure. Look at this! I used to this was the coolest thing-- It has buttons!**

Logan has the distinct feeling of a train careening out of control. He doesn’t know how to fix it, or if he should.

**[Roman]: WHat?! Get. out!**

**[Thomas]: I know!!**

**[Patton]: Well I know you're gonna flip out at this!**

**[Thomas]: (screams of excitement)**

**[Roman]: Hot... (off-tune squeak) crossed... (off-tune squeak) buns... (off-tune squeak)**

**[Patton]: Yep, this place does have it all!**

**[Thomas]: It sure does! Why is that even in there?!**

**[Logan]: But think of everything the future has in store!**

**[Virgil]: -grunt-**

**[Logan]: ...Virgil? Are you okay?**

Logan’s concern for Virgil starts to cut through the fog in Patton’s head, making him remember his initial concerns with this plan, and making him worry for Virgil, too. 

**[Thomas]: Oh, my goodness! I remember this too!**

**[Roman]: Oh my-- the songs you used to put onto mixed CDs and play in the car. I mean, Disneymania much?**

**[Thomas]: I must have listened to P!nk's first album, like, a hundred times.**

**[Logan]: Ugh! Of course! Thomas?**

**[Thomas]: Uh-huh?**

**[Logan]: It might not have been the best idea for you to come here. Ugh, such a foolish oversight on my part. You are a habitual worrier.**

**[Roman]: Yes, I think that we established that quite a long time ago, Specs.**

**[Patton]: Oh, is that, uh, is that bad, for my room?**

**[Logan]: Well, I didn't think Thomas was too different from others, but Anxiety almost always has a seat at the table whenever he makes any decisions. So, I would say that he worries more than what would be considered the norm.**

**[Thomas]: Okay, but that still doesn't explain--**

**[Logan]: I know I told you that nostalgia can cause people to be more optimistic about their future. BUT! For habitual worriers, nostalgia can have an adverse effect on their overall mood. It can sometimes cause them to look at the past compared to the present period in their lives and cause them to ruminate even more on how their present situation "pales in comparison", however incorrect that outlook may be. Their Anxiety worsens.**

**[Thomas]: Virgil, that's not happening, right?**

**[Virgil]: (demonic echo) No.**

Immediately after Virgil denies the effects of Patton’s room on him, everyone who is paying attention can feel Deceit’s influence reach out and silence him, which can only happen if the Side has just lied or mentioned something best kept hidden. Patton is immediately concerned, though for a variety of reasons. Why did Virgil lie? Why did Deceit feel the need to silence him this time? Deceit doesn’t always silence lying Sides, so what reason does he have this time?

**[Logan]: I'm going to take that as a yes. Come on. Let's go; it's time to end this experiment right--**

**[Roman]: Waitwaitwait, we can't go now! We haven't even started reminiscing about all the Broadway shows that he's seen!**

**[Patton]: And all these old photos! Look at this!**

**[Thomas]: They're right! Logan, we can't leave now; there's still too much to look through!**

**[Logan]: -exasperated sigh- I don't understand this. What is the worth of memories if they don't spur you on to make new ones? I... I am familiar with this... whole ordeal's origin, but it is in the past now Thomas. It makes no sense to...**

**[Thomas]: Logan just, it's... fine. It's fine.**

**[Logan]: But if you would only heed--**

**[Roman]: Oh hush, sub-astute teacher!**

**[Logan]: All of this because Patton can't let go of one person?**

**[Patton]: Logan, can you stop? Please?**

Patton can feel  _ hurtangerpain  _ streaming around the room, from himself and Logan. He can feel how uncomfortable Virgil is, from being in Patton’s room, how uncomfortable Roman and Thomas are, from seeing them fight like that. He can feel his own heartbreak mixing with Roman’s and Thomas’, creating a lethal mix around the room that everyone seems determined to ignore. He thinks this feeling is called  _ overwhelmed.  _ That seems like such a small word to describe such an intense feeling. 

**[Logan]: You know what? Fine. If you don't want to listen to me, this is your issue to resolve. I am Outtie 50,000.**

**[Roman]: 5,000?**

**[Logan]: (Mocking voice) 5000.**

**[Roman]: Hey do you guys remember the 5th season of Lost?**

***To Be Continued Guys, Gals, and Non-Binary Pals***

Pushing down his mess of emotions, Patton prepares to film the outro to the video. Of course, after this, they’ll get only a short break, and then go right back to the dilemma, but they can’t let the fans know that the Sides are real. Patton can almost taste Virgil’s fear of that exact scenario. 

***end screen***

**[Patton]: Oh! Do you remember the one time we did a cliffhanger?**

**[Roman]: -chuckles- Yeah, that was two episodes ago.**

**[Virgil]: Wait, what did you guys do?**

**[Patton]: Oh, he wasn't here for it. Uh...**

**[Roman]: We left the video right at the dramatic climax. People were so confused and upset! Augh! It was wild, man.**

**[Virgil]: That sounds awful.**

**[Roman]: Good thing we're not gonna do that again! -laughs-**

**[Patton]: Especially if we were just doing it! -laughs-**

**[Roman]: That would just be stupid! (continues laughing)**

**[Virgil]: We're doing that right now, aren't we?**

**[Patton]: Uh-huh.**

**[Roman]: Yes.**

Taking a minute to just  _ breathe _ , Patton reminds himself that he still has work to do, and can’t afford a breakdown right now. He takes the water that Roman hands them all gratefully, and just sits down for a bit, staring into space with a blank face. 

Logan reappears briefly to apologize for his part in what happened. Even partially scripted as it was, they can often get way too into the dilemmas and emotions, as they just did, so Patton appreciates the thought. 

From where he’d collapsed on the staircase, Virgil watches the exchange with a mildly confused expression on his face that he doesn’t quite manage to cover up before Roman turns to him to give him his water. 

“You okay, Virgil?” Roman asks softly. 

“Huh? Oh, yeah, I’m alright,” Virgil replies, concentrating carefully to keep the Tempest Tongue down. He’d need it for the next video, but not right now. 

Following Virgil’s eyes to where they were looking at Patton and now Logan, Roman nods understandingly, “You haven’t seen Patton like this before, have you?”

“I- no, I haven’t. What’s wrong?” Virgil asks. He’d never admit it, but he’s genuinely concerned about Patton, a fact that makes him want to go take a shower and snuggle with Remus and Janus. 

“Pat will never admit it, but he’s not just Thomas’ happy feelings, but almost all of his feelings. Obviously, you’re Thomas’ fear, and I’m his passion, but, other than that, Patton has all of Thomas’ feelings. He’s also empathic, so he gets overwhelmed sometimes, and just shuts down like this. He’ll be okay, hopefully,” Roman explains softly so only Virgil can hear, unaware of the eavesdropping Shadows. 

“Hopefully?” Virgil catches. 

“Well, usually he needs some alone time, away from everyone else’s emotions, to recover ok from this kind of thing, but we’re going to keep filming soon, and I don’t know how bad it’ll get,” Roman replies, shooting a worried glance Patton’s way, “It probably doesn’t help that emotions are amplified in Patton’s room. That’s probably going to make it so much worse.”

“I’ll keep an eye on him,” Virgil finds that he actually means this promise as more than an empty platitude to Roman. He really wants to go home and talk about this with the others, but he can’t. There’s still filming to be done. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading!! Hope you enjoyed!! As always, I respond to most comments, and I love reading your comments! I promise you aren't bothering me with comments. 
> 
> If you want, you can join my discord server! https://discord.gg/hF68YWT  
It's a crazy mishmash of chill ppl, but you'll get updates as I'm writing the fic, some early tidbits if I think I've written something funny, and you'll be able to meet the cast of the cosplay group for this insane fic!


	23. MOVING ON, Part 2/2: Dealing With a Breakup

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did ya'll see this coming? Bc I sure didn't. Anyway, this chappie is from Roman's pov, which I didn't expect until I started writing this chapter about 2 hours ago. 
> 
> Have fun!

Of course, they still had to pretend that they aren’t real, so Roman is the one to pretend to initiate a flashback. 

**[Roman]: Oh! Remember all of the events in the last episode...**

***flashback of part one***

**[Logan]: Patton, you know full well what it means when Thomas is thinking about "Guys and Dolls".**

**[Patton]: I don't know what it means. Sue me!**

**[Thomas]: (laughing/crying) Ohh I get it, that's a song from "Guys and Dolls".**

**[Roman]: You just don't understand love.**

**[Logan]: I understand that it's making you act pathetic.**

**[Patton]: Somebody say "cat aesthetic"?**

**[Logan]: Take it off.**

**[Thomas]: When you've been in a relationship as long as I was, it's hard to let go of those feelings.**

**[Roman]: Why don't we just call him? You know? We can call him right now.**

**[Virgil]: Stop.**

**[Roman]: A... text then.**

**[Virgil]: There definitely seems to be room for improvement.**

**[Thomas]: ROOM! Patton! You're at the core of a lot of my happy feelings.**

**[Patton]: I'm at the core of a lot of your feelings.**

**[Thomas]: Maybe going there and enhancing those happy feelings is what I need.**

**[Patton]: Here we go...**

**[Thomas]: Look at all the memories you've got stored in this place, Patton!**

**[Logan]: There seems to be a high concentration of items encompassing your education here, Thomas.**

**[Roman]: The show memories, the performances--**

**[Virgil]: Are these your old journal entries and stories that you wrote in middle school?**

**[Logan]: The Rainforest Rap!**

**[Thomas]: Your room is awesome! Like, I don't know why you would want to leave it! Ever!**

**[Logan]: ...Virgil? Are you okay? Come on. Let's go; it's time to end this experiment--**

**[Thomas]: Logan just, it's... fine. It's fine.**

**[Logan]: All of this because Patton can't let go of one person?**

**[Patton]: Logan, can you stop? Please?**

**[Logan]: If you don't want to listen to me, this is your issue to resolve. I am Outtie 50,000.**

**[Roman]: Hey do you guys remember the 5th season of Lost? *end flashback* Ah, what a good use of a flashback to bring unaware viewers up to speed for this video.**

**[Thomas]: That was subtle.**

***sanders sides intro***

**[Roman]: Well, this is just great! Fantastic. PERFECT. No one wants to talk about Lost with me?**

**[Thomas]: Patton, what happened there?**

Ah, it seems that Virgil isn’t the only one who hasn’t seen Patton as overwhelmed as he gets sometimes. 

**[Patton]: Oh, that was nothing, Thomas. Sometimes I just get to act a little bit silly that's all. Look, pictures...**

**[Thomas]: Patton, that wasn't acting silly, that was something... much worse than silly.**

**[Patton]: ... Feisty.**

**[Thomas]: No, the- -exhales- This looking back on simple memories is just tiptoeing around the things that I REALLY want to remember. But I... I CAN'T or I-I shouldn't. You guys, this isn't GOOD. I mean... the literal voice of reason just LEFT!**

Roman can imagine Logan’s indignation at that, and at what Roman would say next, if this were a real scenario. As it is, Roman can sort of hear Logan grumbling back in the mindscape. He sounded a bit farther away than usual, though, which was a tad odd. 

**[Roman]: No! Love is not about REASON, Thomas. Love is about taking a CHANCE. You took a chance when you asked a guy out three years ago, and it led to you having some of the happiest moments of your life. Now, your heart is crying out to you... Patton, cry out to him.**

**[Patton]: What?**

**[Roman]: Go ahead, cry out.**

**[Patton]: -honk/screech-**

Roman ruined a few takes laughing at Patton’s cry, not that anyone would ever know. Even Thomas had a hard time keeping a straight face, and he is the professional actor!

**[Roman]: Y'see? Now are you going to ignore his cry Thomas, or are you going to... take a chance.**

**[Thomas]: Take a chance... how?**

**[Roman]: By picking up your phone, dialing HIS number, and CHARGING BACK into love's battlefield.**

**[Thomas]: Yeah...**

**[Virgil]: -grunts-**

The grunt brings Roman’s attention back to Virgil for a second, and he takes a moment to wonder at how quiet the other Side is. Normally, Virgil would have shot his idea down within 2 seconds of him bringing it up, but now he seems uncharacteristically quiet. Not to mention that he’s burrowed back down into his hoodie, and Roman could see a faint purple glow coming from his eyes. He only has a split second to realize what that meant before he is distracted again. 

**[Him]: (on the phone) Hello?**

**[Patton]: -gasps- That's him!**

**[Virgil]: (distorted voice) Hang up!**

**[Thomas]: AH!**

**[Roman]: Why did you hang up?!**

**[Thomas]: Virgil told me to!**

**[Roman]: Why did you listen to him?!**

**[Thomas]: He was LOUD.**

**[Roman]: Higitus Figitus, I'm getting sick of this!**

To be fair to Thomas, it is extremely difficult to ignore Virgil when his Tempest Tongue comes out. Roman gets a feeling that it isn’t something Anxiety can control very well. 

**[Patton]: Oh-ho-ho-ho, No no no no no no no no no no nonononononono-**

**[Thomas]: What do I do now?!**

**[Patton]: Kind of a sloppy situation here…**

It most certainly is. Roman’s desperation feeding off of Patton’s heartbreak, Virgil’s anxiety feeding Patton’s own downward spiral, all culminating in a very confused Thomas. If he could, Roman would stop the video here, but alas, they have a script to follow. 

**[Roman]: Oh! The backup idea! Text him!**

**[Thomas]: Text him what?!**

**[Roman]: Uh... tell him you butt-dialed him.**

**[Thomas]: What?! A butt-dial?!! Really?!!**

**[Roman]: Uh, look, I'm thinking off the fly here Thomas, and you DO have a bodacious backside.**

**[Thomas]: Stop.**

**[Virgil]: (distorted voice) No.**

Roman can’t even see Virgil’s eyes at this point, he’s pulled his bangs so far down. It’s luck that the light in Patton’s room is so odd, otherwise Thomas might have noticed the intense purple glow coming from the anxious Side’s eyes. 

**[Roman]: I mean that thing has a mind of its own.**

**[Thomas]: I am NOT gonna lie to him.**

**[Roman]: Then let your tush do the talking.**

**[Thomas]: What?**

**[Roman]: Let your bottom do the bluffing. Keep your lips locked, let your cheeks and hips talk.**

**[Thomas]: My hips do NOT lie, Princey.**

**[Roman]: I'm just saying you have a very persuasive posterior. I'm so sorry. I can't stop.**

**[Patton]: Now, Roman, lying is wrong.**

**[Thomas]: Yeah, that's a side of myself that I would prefer not to feed into.**

Oddly, Roman hears laughter at that. He can’t tell where it came from, or who, but he can make a guess. He decides to ignore it for now. 

**[Roman]: Well then what are you going to do? Tell him that you called in an act of desperation? Because for MONTHS you've been quietly hoping that everything would go back to the way that it was before?**

**[Thomas]: I...**

**[Roman]: Are you going to tell him about all the times you fantasized about him calling you? Saying that he's ready to try again? Are you going to tell him that you want him back? Because that's the truth.**

**[Thomas]: No.**

**[Roman]: I didn't think so.**

**[Thomas]: No, I mean, no that's not the truth. I-I don't WANT him back. At least... not in that way. I-I don't wanna do that to him... because I love him. He was unhappy when he was with me. And I-I don't want him to be unhappy. The truth is, Roman, I don't want him back.**

**[Roman]: But you do. I KNOW you do. I know all of your dreams and fantasies. I'm "The Dreamy Fantasy Guy."**

**[Patton]: He does... and he doesn't.**

**[Thomas]: -exhales- I wish I had Logan here to explain this. That can't be real, Roman. The thing that I want... that you want for me... it's impossible. You're right. I want it SO BADLY but... it's fantasy. Forcing a relationship that doesn't work to happen again after it already fell apart; restarting that cycle of heartbreak... That would be mean. To him AND to me. But that would be the reality, and I DON'T WANT that reality.**

It is genuinely a good thing, Roman thinks, that the events that inspired this video happened months ago. If he had heard all of this, for the first time, while on camera, the pressure would likely have been too much to take. Heck, he broke down crying the first time. Even though it has already happened for real, it’s still very emotionally intensive. Both Virgil and Patton have long since shot past overwhelmed, and Roman himself is fast approaching that emotional milestone. 

**[Roman]: I-I... Oh, what did I make you DO? Patton, Virgil. I-I'm getting this all wrong, and I'm HURTING YOU in the process--**

**[Thomas]: Oh geez. He's calling me back.**

**[Roman]: PICK IT UP, PICK IT UP!!!**

**[Virgil]: (demonic voice) Don't!**

**[Patton]: Uh... I-I don't know. I don't know?!**

**[Roman]: DESTINY HAS DIALLED BACK!!!**

**[Virgil]: Get rid of it! Get rid of the phone now!**

Again, Roman has theories that Anxiety can’t control his Tempest Tongue very well, but this just about proves it. 

**[Thomas]: -desperate war cry-**

**[Roman]: Ooowww...**

**[Patton]: Ooohh...**

**[Patton]: I-I know you shouldn't have done THAT.**

**[Virgil]: -exhales- I meant like... set it down or something...**

**[Thomas]: (whispers) I panicked.**

**[Patton]: Yeah…**

Luckily, the phone doesn’t seem to be broken, nor did it accept the call. Not that that would have mattered much, it’s just one of Thomas’ friends who agreed to call for the video, but it might have been awkward explaining why there are multiple people speaking at once when only Joan and Talyn know about the Sides. 

**[Roman]: I just gotta say I am, uh, sorry, guys. I was literally in the middle of apologizing, and I just immediately took a U-turn right back into "Part of the Problem" Town.**

**[Patton]: No, it's not all your fault, Roman. I think we're ALL in a bit of a jumble here.**

**[Thomas]: What am I doing here? Honestly. There are future shows to perform in. Future pictures to take. New things to write and... new things to learn. I know this, I KNOW I know this... So why do I look back?**

**[Patton]: Maybe... because... it's easier to stay here and try to be happy.**

The way Patton chases the past, before he made his mistake, before the Split, before banishing anyone. 

**[Roman]: Possibly because it reminds you of a time when you felt... worthy of someone.**

The way Roman so desperately wants to be worthy of the respect that Patton gives him, to be worthy of Logan’s regard or Virgil’s little chats. To be worthy of Thomas. 

**[Virgil]: (normal voice returns) You're afraid. Afraid that... you'll never feel some of these feelings again.**

**[Patton]: THAT feeling.**

**[Thomas]: I'm mad at myself sometimes, guys. No matter how I try, no matter how long it's been, or what I attempt to distract myself with... Eventually, the train of thought always leads back to the memories tied to-- We met when we both auditioned for Guys and Dolls. We were both cast and... quickly became friends.**

**[Roman]: Yes.**

**[Thomas]: Such a simple show. It's amazing how a musical as simple as that one that's not very deep could mean so much to me. It was my favorite show. But not because I particularly liked the songs or the dialogue. Honestly, I'm not really a fan. Even still, it was my favorite musical. And I can't bear to listen to its music.**

**[Roman]: Mmm, because of the outdated and unsavory gender roles filled out by the cast of characters.**

**[Thomas]: Because it hurts.**

**[Virgil]: (simultaneously) It hurts.**

**[Thomas]: And also because of that.**

**[Virgil]: Yeah...**

**[Thomas]: I still wasn't comfortable with... myself but... I just felt something for someone else that I had never felt before. Ya know?**

**[Patton]: No.**

**[Thomas]: Heck I-I don't think I ever put myself out there more for ANYONE.**

**[Virgil]: It was freakin' torture, man.**

Oh, Roman remembers how Anxiety was when this happened. So nervous for every date, coming out from behind that large black wall in the mindscape to try and protect Thomas from the inevitable heartbreak. 

**[Thomas]: But it was worth it. I'm sure it was. Oh... Wow, okay... when I was young my Uncle Buck--**

**[Patton]: Like the movie!**

**[Thomas]: Yeah, sure.**

**[Patton]: Say what is Buck short for?**

**[Thomas]: Uh... I don't know... but...**

**[Patton]: Because he's got little legs! Ah! [giggles]**

**[Roman]: Oh, like the reason he is short.**

**[Thomas]: You know you don't have to do that, Patton.**

**[Patton]: What?**

**[Thomas]: Try to... HIDE what you're feeling with jokes. It's okay to be sad sometimes.**

**[Patton]: I'm never sad! I'm your happy Pappy Patton! Just a fun-loving father figure figment.**

**[Thomas]: Falsehood.**

Roman can  _ feel _ Logan’s influence in that one simple word, and he knows the other two Sides recognized it, too. It’s expected, it’s part of the script, but it can still be surprising sometimes to feel the power, however fleeting, that the Sides sometimes have on their host. Like Virgil’s earlier panic and Tempest Tongue, and the way Patton’s room affected Thomas at the beginning of this whole fiasco. 

**[Patton]: You said yourself. I'm at the core of a lot of your happy feelings.**

**[Thomas]: You're at the core of a lot of my feelings... Happy or otherwise. When I was younger, my uncle used to take me fishing and I HATED it. It was boring, throwing the living fish in the cooler upset me... There was no escape for them or for me. On the boat, I was stranded with miles of H2-Open water in every direction.**

**[Roman]: There's never a bad time for wordplay.**

**[Thomas]: After my ex and I had been dating for some time and my family saw how serious it was, my uncle invited us BOTH out on the water with him, and I was not looking forward to it. I mean, my mind was racing. What might my uncle say, what if I said something wrong? Am I prepared to share a small space with my boyfriend and my uncle with no easy escape?**

**[Virgil]: -Shudders- Oof.**

**[Thomas]: The day came, and it was... not bad at all. Fishing was so much better with him there.**

**[Roman]: Your uncle?**

**[Thomas]: Obviously not.**

**[Roman]: Well, a little clarity never hurt anybody.**

Considering who Roman is related to, clarity is in fact a wonderful thing. He can almost hear the Duke cackling now. 

**[Thomas]: My boyfriend. With him, I didn't mind floating in the middle of a mass of water. I wasn't isolated anymore. It can have a pretty BIG impact when someone can make you enjoy something you'd normally dread. That was when I really knew, ya know? From that point on, I guess I was--**

**[Virgil]: Don't.**

**[Thomas]: Hooked.**

**[Virgil]: You ruined it.**

Although he would never admit it, Roman can see that the jokes and wordplay are doing a wonderful job of calming Virgil down a bit. Looking to his other side, he can see that Patton seems a bit more at ease, as well. 

**[Thomas]: The whole relationship was filled with those moments. They're the moments that I choose to hold on to the most. But… I-I have to be fair to myself... and recall the other moments. The moments filled with sadness, anger, and confusion. The moments where we wondered whether the paths that we were on were truly conducive to... having each other in our lives. When we ended things, it was for the best, but my heart... Er... I... never stopped loving him.**

**[Virgil]: I know. WE know, Thomas. But, eventually... You're gonna have to move on from him.**

**[Thomas]: I just don't know how to.**

**[Patton]: Maybe... Maybe you don't. Not completely.**

**[Thomas]: Patton -**

**[Patton]: But you can't stay here. Moving On is not the same as Moving Forward. What I mean is, don't focus on "Moving On." Constantly reminding yourself of where you should be in life only makes you feel more... down in the dumps. At first, this room does bring a jolt of happiness. I feel it myself whenever I come here. But... the return to the present can be... too much, sometimes. It's why I've been so... emotional lately.**

That sounds reasonable enough. And Roman had noticed that Patton seemed to be a bit more emotional, but he’d just chalked that up to Patton being Thomas’ emotions. 

**[Roman]: Patton, I had no idea. I suppose I've been contributing to that, in some way. Thomas, you should know that though I dream big, where you are in life... It's precisely where you need to be. And the only direction to go is forward; one step at a time. Not staying stuck in one place. If you're truly destined to be with him, now is not the time to worry about it.**

**[Thomas]: You're right. I have to focus on me. And I have to acknowledge that ALL my feelings are valid.**

**[Patton]: You're right, kiddo. It's just... I feel guilty for still feeling this way after SO LONG.**

Roman got the feeling that Patton isn’t just talking about Thomas’ ex. Roman glances quickly at Virgil to see if he’s picked up on what Patton’s implying, but he doesn’t seem to realize anything. 

**[Roman]: Eh... You're not the only one.**

**[Virgil]: How you're reacting for however long is completely normal. Not bad, not strange, not stupid.**

**[Roman]: You've been so accepting of all of us and our, uh, eccentricities you're darn tootin' we would do the same for you-tin. I'm sorry, I had to write rhyme it.**

**[Patton]: Aww, shucks. Well, I just thought it would be EASIER to avoid all those nasty feelings altogether.**

**[Thomas]: Patton, avoiding grief can seem appealing, but I-I don't think it's fair to our mental health. Here's a little rap that I made up, just now: It may seem scary to be that sad, but repressin' depression can also be bad.**

**[Roman]: Okay, well I'll... I'll... I'll do the rhyming. In a way, grieving could be just the ticket we need to take that path forward to recovery. That was a mixed metaphor. I'm sorry. I'm not thinking... straight. Ever...I'm not straight!**

**[Virgil]: Just... Be mindful. Being self-aware of what you're feeling and non-judgmental in the face of those feelings. Knowing that... they're normal. And that you're on the road to feeling better, could be exactly what it takes.**

Strangely enough, Roman got the sense that Virgil is quoting someone here. It doesn’t sound exactly like something Anxiety would say, but maybe one of the Others had helped him before. As unlikely as that seems, given who the Others are, but it is a possibility that Roman couldn’t dismiss out of hand. 

**[Patton]: You're right, Virgil, and I should have been more mindful of YOU.**

**[Virgil]: Don't sweat it. I-I just wish I could have been more help. I've always been the one who worried about losing the people that you loved. And that happened. And... I haven't known what to do since.**

It might not seem like it, but Roman and Virgil do have a lot in common. Both of them are meant to be Thomas’ protectors, along with Deceit, as much as Roman dislikes acknowledging that. That was part of why they’d butted heads so much when Virgil first appeared in the Mindscape proper: Roman, though he’d never admit it, was afraid that Virgil would be taking his role. 

**[Thomas]: Virgil, you've been as helpful as you could have been. Sadness shapes a different world.**

**[Patton]: Gee, love is something, huh?**

**[Roman]: Sho'nuff.**

**[Virgil]: And you loved him. A bushel and a peck.**

**[Thomas]: Ho my!**

**[Roman]: Virgil coming THROUGH with another Guys and Dolls song. Yes!**

**[Patton]: That's my boy.**

**[Virgil]: I couldn't resist.**

**[Thomas]: All right, guys. Let's get out of here.**

**[Patton]: -exhales- Are you ready?**

**[Thomas]: I think I am.**

**[Patton]: Well then... Let's go.**

**[Roman]: ♪ Off into the great wide somewhere... ♪**

**[Virgil]: Make a note to burn some of these journals.**

**[Thomas]: Never. *back in Thomas's living room* Home again, home again.**

**[Roman]: Haha!**

**[Virgil]: Whoa. That was new for me. I've never done that whole... rising up thing. How do you guys do that every episode? I'm so lightheaded.**

Roman gives Virgil a concerned glance to make sure he’s okay. 

**[Patton]: -sighs-**

**[Logan]: Oh, you're back.**

**[Thomas]: Hey...**

**[Roman]: Ah, hey... buddy.**

**[Patton]: Logan!**

**[Logan]: Mm-hmm. Finally coming to your senses, I see.**

**[Virgil]: Hey, what the heck was that? Disappearing on us? Don't you dare try that stunt again.**

Roman can see that Virgil is well aware of his own hypocrisy, but he was too worried about Logan to be worried about being called out, so Roman lets it slide. 

**[Logan]: Did you honestly think that I was fully out of the conversation? I'm not a feeling. I'm the physical representation of something deeply embedded within you. Even if it seems like I'm gone, I'll always be there to a degree.**

Roman inwardly laughs at Logan’s little cringe when saying “feeling.”

**[Virgil]: Okay. Well. Warn a dude next time.**

**[Logan]: Now, in regards to the figurative siren song that had you all spellbound, are you satisfied with your resolution?**

**[Thomas]: Well, it, ah, it took some soul-searching, but, um, I think we got there.**

**[Patton]: Um... sorry, Logan. I don't know why these things make us lose sight of you sometimes.**

**[Roman]: Yes, you were completely right.**

**[Logan]: I know.**

**[Roman]: Meaning you were right about initially being wrong.**

Roman couldn’t resist teasing Logan a bit, showing his worry in a less obvious way than Virgil had. 

**[Logan]: I know. All that matters now is how we proceed.**

**[Thomas]: Yes. And I do think there are positives to nostalgia, all those good memories truly do encourage me to think about what lies ahead. But... I also think it's important to focus more on being mindful of who and where I am; here and now.**

**[Patton]: No one can REALLY plan their future.**

**[Roman]: But that shouldn't stop them from looking forward to it.**

**[Virgil]: No matter the fears.**

**[Logan]: You have all your past experiences that will hopefully help you and not hinder you.**

**[Thomas]: You guys are right.**

**[Logan]: And, uh, a little compromise, Patton?**

**[Patton]: Hm?**

**[Logan]: As much as it pains me, sometimes when the heart wants change, you must listen to it. Is this appealing to you... at all?**

**[Patton]: -gasps- Logan... is that a... Cat Hoodie?**

**[Logan]: I thought this might be less cumbersome while still catering to your, uh, eccentric standards.**

**[Patton]: -gasps again- You got me a GIFT?!!! Oh, my GOODNESS!!! I LOVE IT!!!!!**

**[Logan]: It even has a front pouch to place an actual cat, if you so desire.**

**[Patton]: Oh, I can't. I'm allergic.**

**[Logan]: Then WHY the cat onesie?**

This time, it isn’t just Roman that ruins a few takes. He and Virgil both can’t stop their laughter at the offended look on Logan’s face. 

**[Patton]: I like cats.**

**[Roman]: You know what would also fit in there that you're NOT allergic to...**

**[Patton]: What?**

**[Roman]: Kaboom.**

**[Patton]: PUPPIES??!!**

**[Thomas]: WHAT?!**

**[Patton]: You can conjure puppies?!**

**[Roman]: Shhh, don't tell anyone.**

**[Patton]: -squeals with happiness-**

**[Logan]: Well, this is just too precious to process.**

**[Virgil]: I... literally can't think of anything bitter or cynical to remark.**

Roman is very proud of the fact that he got both of the left-brain Sides to blue-screen. 

**[Patton]: Thank you so much, Logan.**

**[Logan]: Of course. It's all purely for practical reasons, small steps forward and all that.**

**[Patton]: Roll over. Oh, he can't do it 'cause you're in my pocket, it... that's... it's okay. Aww, look his little yawn, his little yawn!**

**[Roman]: Say... looking at all those old shows really made me miss the stage even more, Thomas. What other roles haven't we played? Sweeney Todd, Lumiere, ANNIE?!**

With that, Roman heads over to the kitchen to grab a snack and wait until he’s needed for the end card. He’s quickly joined by Virgil, who sinks out right after him. 

**[Virgil]: Um, he can't play... okay, well there he goes. I'm gonna brace myself to work overtime REAL soon. Later.**

**[Thomas]: Getting back on stage would DEFINITELY be fun, but, uh, trying an extra course or two could also be interesting. I don't know, might try both again just to switch things up, could be fun.**

**[Logan]: I'm... glad to hear you say that, Thomas.**

**[Thomas]: But seriously... thanks for your help today, Logan.**

**[Logan]: All in a day's work. Good that we got through another emotional mire. As for the course to take, please consider astronomy.**

**[Thomas]: (simultaneously) Astronomy. Yup, right there with you.**

**[Logan]: YES!**

And with that, Logan joins the two of them in the kitchen to wait on Patton and the end card. 

**[Thomas]: -sighs contentedly- Well, Patton?**

**[Patton]: Yeah, Thomas?**

**[Thomas]: How are ya feeling?**

**[Patton]: Ah. Well, that's always a tough question to answer, but... this puppy sure is helping things.**

**[Thomas]: Honestly though, the times that we see you being silly and laughing... Some of that's real... right?**

**[Patton]: Well, yeah, of course, Thomas. Almost all the time it is. There's so much good in your life to remember and appreciate, as well as the bad. Those memories don't have to be forgotten, but they shouldn't weigh us down. They shouldn't weigh you down because... they're just a PART of who you are. All of you is important.**

**[Thomas]: Will I ever feel that special feeling again?**

**[Patton]: I think you just gotta keep in mind that you're worthy of great things, independent of anyone who comes and goes in your life. Once you realize that, You're capable of feeling those feelings on your own terms. Hey, you like rainbows, right?**

**[Thomas]: Uh, you know I do. I'm offended that you would ask.**

**[Patton]: Well you always see them best after a bit of rain.**

**[Thomas]: Wow... That was a, um, really nice metaphor, Patton.**

Roman, who knows Patton all too well, laughs slightly and says, “That isn’t a metaphor, Thomas.”

**[Patton]: I'm just saying cuz it looks like it's raining outside and you might get to see a killer rainbow.**

**[Thomas]: Ah... Gotcha. Um... Well... Usually, I like to end with a pretty concise conclusion on the best way to handle a dilemma. But... I-I don't know if there is such a clear answer on how best to move on. Perhaps the main thing to focus on is... Just...**

**[Patton]: One step in front of the other, kiddo. You can do it. I'm rootin' for ya.**

**[Thomas]: Okay.**

***The Things We Used To Share by Thomas Sanders Instrumental Plays***

***Thomas walks through memory hallway***

***background music ends***

**[Thomas]: Before closing out the video, I just have to remark that it is roughly one year since the very first Sanders Sides video, and I just can't believe it. Thank you all SO MUCH for your continued support. Your appreciation of the videos and just allowing us to tell stories like the one you just saw. My friends and I work really hard on these videos, and we just are blown away by the response and we're so thankful for all of you, so thank you SO MUCH. And if you enjoyed the Sanders Sides and you want to rep. any of them, there is tons of merch over at the merch store. Um... And there's gonna be new stuff later on this year that I'm super excited about so if you want to check any of it out, you can go to this URL, um, to stay up to date. If not, no big deal, because honestly, we are just grateful to have you all as viewers and supporting us the way that you do. So, thank you all so much. And until next time, take it easy guys, gals, and non-binary pals... Peace out!**

***end card***

Now they get to have a bit of fun!

**[Logan & Roman]: So get up, get out. Let everyone know. We need to let the animals and the trees GROW!**

**[Logan]: Yeah. Rainforest Rap.**

**[Roman]: Oh! Rainforest Rap!**

**[Virgil]: -groans-**

**[Logan]: Save the Rainforest.**

**[Roman]: See? Maybe you'll think twice about interrupting us next time, Virgil.**

**[Logan]: We cannot be stopped, only paused.**

**[Virgil]: Is it too late to be an outcast again?**

**[Patton]: Hey Ya! -giggles- Right? Uh... "Hey Ya"? It's a single by Outkast? Uh... The second Outkast reference in a Sanders Sides Video? I only know one song by Outkast.**

**[Logan]: Patton, how are you today?**

**[Patton]: Um, I'm doing pretty great. Feeling So Fresh, So Clean... ANOTHER Outkast song! Tricked ya! -giggles-**

**[Roman]: Are you really though?**

**[Virgil]: How do we know that you're not just... covering up?**

**[Patton]: Naw, you guys I'm... I'm learning not to do that. Plus, to make it easier, I realize that whenever I leave my room, I get to see all of you. Gives me something to look forward to.**

**[Logan]: Well. That is very good to hear.**

**[Patton]: Logan, you have got that "cool factor." Heck, you're making me feel cooler.**

**[Logan]: Oh. Um, eh, thank you.**

**[Patton]: Maybe it's because you're...**

**[Logan]: Wait no!**

**[Patton]: My biggest fan!**

**[Logan]: Ah.... (continues in a groan)**

**[Roman]: -sighs- Things are looking up.**

**[Virgil]: Yup.**

With all of that, the four of them retreat back into the Mindscape for their usual debrief. Logan, as per usual, keeps it relatively brief and on-track, so there isn’t much talk during, but they all agree to watch a movie after. Roman can see, however, that Virgil is reluctant to stay. 

“Hey,” Roman says. The two of them had gone to get snacks for the movie while Logan and Patton got the living room ready, “You okay? I know today was tense, and you don’t really seem all that enthusiastic to stay here.”

“I’m alright, just tired,” Virgil muttered, exhaustion plain on his face. It isn’t often they have to film 2 episodes in one day, and all of them are exhausted. Still, it sounds a bit like a deflection. 

“Yeah, me too. I’m probably gonna end up falling asleep sometime during the movie. I wouldn’t be surprised if we all do,” Roman says, watching Virgil’s face carefully and catching the quick flash of relief. 

“What movie are we watching, anyway?” Virgil asks, almost too casually. 

“Well, Patton’s picking, so I’d guess Lilo and Stitch, especially after the day we’ve had,” Roman guesses. And hey, he isn’t wrong. 

Some time later, Logan and Patton have both fallen asleep. Roman pretends to sleep because he’s curious as to what Virgil will do. He watches as Virgil seems to check that they’re all asleep, before heading to the hallway with the Barrier between sections of the Mindscape. Quietly, Roman follows. He follows Virgil as Virgil traverses the Barrier with ease, which Roman supposes he’d have to have, especially if his room is still down here. Roman tries his best to stay out of sight and not get lost, which is much harder than it sounds, as the Barrier is thick and has many paths. Really, it’d be more accurate to call it a Maze. When Virgil finally makes it out of the Barrier, Roman hesitantly follows him, keeping out of sight and even using some of his Imagination power to make himself invisible. 

Roman can only watch in complete shock as Deceit and the Duke welcome Virgil with open arms, as Virgil changes out of his hoodie and into more interesting clothing, as Virgil’s entire personality seems to make a 180, as Virgil’s entire form seems to ripple and becomes more inhuman, more animalistic, and realizes that he’s looking at Paranoia now. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked that little cliffie! 
> 
> Thanks so much for reading!! Hope you enjoyed!! As always, I respond to most comments, and I love reading your comments! I promise you aren't bothering me with comments.
> 
> If you want, you can join my discord server! https://discord.gg/hF68YWT  
It's a crazy mishmash of chill ppl, but you'll get updates as I'm writing the fic, some early tidbits if I think I've written something funny, and you'll be able to meet the cast of the cosplay group for this insane fic!

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed!
> 
> Yes, Remus and Virgil are very different from how they are in the videos, and even Deceit is quite a bit different. However, I sort of view it as they want revenge, especially Remus, so they hide who they are on video while they wait for the perfect time to strike. After all, the fandom is almost turning on Patton after DWIT, writing a lot of unsympathetic Patton fics. You think that's an accident? That's just part of Remus' plan!


End file.
